On marriage: Let’s call the whole thing off Author Sandra Tsing Loh is ending her marriage. Is it time you did, too?
With nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, why do we still insist on tying the knot? As she ends her 20-year marriage, The Atlantic contributor Sandra Tsing Loh posits that the idea of lifelong wedded bliss has become obsolete.
View related photos
Sadly, and to my horror, I am divorcing. This was a 20-year partnership. My husband is a good man, though he did travel 20 weeks a year for work. I am a 47-year-old woman whose commitment to monogamy, at the very end, came unglued. This turn of events was a surprise. I don’t generally even enjoy men; I had an entirely manageable life and planned to go to my grave taking with me, as I do most nights to my bed, a glass of merlot and a good book. Cataclysmically changed, I disclosed everything. We cried, we bewailed the fate of our children.
And yet at the end of the day — literally during a five o’clock counseling appointment, as the golden late-afternoon sunlight spilled over the wall of Balinese masks — when given the final choice by our longtime family therapist, who stands in as our shaman, mother, or priest, I realized … no. Heart-shattering as this moment was — a gravestone sunk down on two decades of history — I would not be able to replace the romantic memory of my fellow transgressor with the more suitable image of my husband, which is what it would take in modern-therapy terms to knit our family’s domestic construct back together. In women’s-magazine parlance, I did not have the strength to “work on” falling in love again in my marriage. And as Laura Kipnis railed in “Against Love,” and as everyone knows, good relationships take work.
Which is not to say I’m against work. Indeed, what also came out that afternoon were the many tasks I — like so many other working/co-parenting/married mothers — have been doing for so many years and tearfully declared I would continue doing. I can pick up our girls from school every day; I can feed them dinner and kiss their noses and tell them stories; I can take them to their doctor and dentist appointments; I can earn my half — sometimes more — of the money; I can pay the bills; I can refinance the house at the best possible interest rate; I can drive my husband to the airport; in his absence, I can sort his mail; I can be home to let the plumber in on Thursday between nine and three, and I can wait for the cable guy; I can make dinner conversation with any family member; I can ask friendly questions about anybody’s day; I can administer hugs as needed to children, adults, dogs, cats; I can empty the litter box; I can stir wet food into dry.
Which is to say I can work at a career and child care and joint homeownership and even platonic male-female friendship. However, in this cluttered forest of my 40s, what I cannot authentically reconjure is the ancient dream of brides, even with the Oprah fluffery of weekly “date nights,” when gauzy candlelight obscures the messy house, child talk is nixed and silky lingerie donned, so the two of you can look into each other’s eyes and feel that “spark” again. Do you see? Given my staggering working mother’s to-do list, I cannot take on yet another arduous home- and self-improvement project, that of rekindling our romance. Sobered by this failure as a mother — which is to say, my failure as a wife — I’ve since begun a journey of reading, thinking, and listening to what’s going on in other 21st-century American families. And along the way, I’ve begun to wonder, what with all the abject and swallowed misery: Why do we still insist on marriage? Sure, it made sense to agrarian families before 1900, when to farm the land, one needed two spouses, grandparents, and a raft of children. But now that we have white-collar work and washing machines, and our life expectancy has shot from 47 to 77, isn’t the idea of lifelong marriage obsolete?
I sense you picking up the first stone to hurl, even if you yourself may be twice or even three times divorced. Such a contradiction turns out to be uniquely American. Just because marriage didn’t work for us doesn’t mean we don’t believe in the institution. Just because our own marital track records are mixed doesn’t mean our hearts don’t lift at the sight of our daughters’ Tiffany-blue wedding invitations. After all, we can easily arrange to sit far from our exes, across the flower-bedecked aisle, so as not to roil the festive day. Just because we know that nearly half of U.S. marriages end in divorce — including perhaps even those of our own parents (my dearest childhood wish was not just that my parents would divorce, but also that my raging father would burst into flames) — doesn’t mean we aren’t confident ours is the one that will beat the odds.
At least that is the attitudinal yin/yang described by Andrew J. Cherlin in his scrupulously argued “Marriage-Go-Round”: compared with our western European counterparts, Americans are far more credulous about marriage. In World Values Surveys taken at the turn of the millennium, fewer Americans agreed with the statement “Marriage is an outdated institution” than citizens of any other Western country surveyed (compare the U.S.’s tiny 10 percent with France’s 36 percent). We are also more religious — more Americans (60 percent) say they attend religious services once a month than do the Vatican-centric Italians (54 percent) or, no surprise, the laissez-faire French (12 percent). At the same time, Americans endure the highest divorce rate in the Western world. In short, although we say we love religion and marriage, Cherlin notes, “religious Americans are more likely to divorce than secular Swedes.”
Cherlin believes the reason for this paradox is that Americans hold two values at once: a culture of marriage and a culture of individualism. Or is it an American spirit of optimism wedded, if you will, to a Tocquevillian spirit of restlessness that inspires three out of four Americans to say they believe marriage is for life, while only one in four agreed with the notion that even if a marriage is unhappy, one should stay put for the sake of the children. If America is a “divorce culture,” it may be partly because we are a “marriage culture,” since we both divorce and marry (a projected 90 percent of us) at some of the highest rates anywhere on the globe. Hence Cherlin’s cautionary advice consists of two words — “Slow down” — his chief worry about our frenetic marriage-go-round being its negative impact on our children. In fact, while having two biological parents at home is, the statistics tell us, best for children, a single-parent household is almost as good. The harm comes, Cherlin argues, from parents continually coupling with new partners, so that the children are forced to bond, or compete for attention, with ever-new actors. These are the youngsters who are likely to suffer, according to a measurable matrix of factors such as truancy, disobedience in school, and teen pregnancy. Instead of preaching marriage, Cherlin says, we should preach domestic stability for children. Is marriage the best way to ensure this? Apparently not, at least not the way we do it in America.
Rachel is one of the women I regularly dine with, now that I have a divorced person’s oddly relaxed — oddly civilized, even horribly French? — joint-custody schedule. It has been almost 10 years since I dined with adults on a weekly basis. My domestic evenings have typically revolved around five o’clock mac and cheese under bright lighting and then a slow melt into dishes and SpongeBob … because yet another of my marital failings was that I was never able to commit to a nanny. Even though my husband and I both drew full-time incomes, I, as a writer, worked at home and hence was ambivalent, because if I had daily in-house help, what was my role as a mother? Would I be emotionally displaced? Also, I secretly worried that using domestic help was exploitative — recall Barbara Ehrenreich’s dictum that she’d never let another woman scrub her toilets. Yea, these are the various postfeminist hurdles that stretched before me at 2:00 a.m. as I lay awake in our bed, contorted not just by cats but by two children kicking me from both sides — Exhibit A of lazy, undisciplined attachment parenting.
Imagine driving with me now to Rachel’s house for our new 40-something social hobby — the Girls’ Night dinner. Leap not from my car, even though I realize — given my confessed extramarital affair, avowed childhood desire to see my father explode into flames, and carpet of tattered Happy Meal wrappers — I may not strike you as the most reliable explicator of modern marriage. Still, we forge on, and what I’d like to do now is recant for a moment and not be quite so hard on marriage, which I think is a very good fit for some people. It certainly has been for Judith S. Wallerstein (married more than 48 years, as the jacket flap indicates), co-author with Sandra Blakeslee of the 1995 book “The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts.”
Through close observation of 50 happily married couples, the authors identified four templates for lasting nuptial success.
The Romantic Marriage thrives on the spark of love that never dies. (Think of those affectionate 80-somethings in convalescent homes, still holding hands.)
The Rescue Marriage features partners who fit each other like lost puzzle pieces, healing each other from mutual childhood traumas. (And then there are those shrieky co-dependent pairs: think of fiercely attached couples whose commitment is cemented by a commitment to unwholesome habits. Said a friend of his 70-something WASP parents, who sally off to their frequent cruises with huge Lavoris bottles filled with gin: “What they share is an enthusiasm for drinking.”)
The Traditional Marriage succeeds because the man works while the woman runs the home, a clear and valuable division of labor.
我现在在等电子秤的deal。
觉得做西式面点，还是用秤的好。
这个cup和tbs、tsp不准确。
一勺面粉挖得紧实点、松点都要差好多。
我在BBB买的跳跳推荐的那个。用了20% off 的胖子。
以前华人厨房那边搞过活动，你去看看。
我知道有做豆渣面包的。就是我用blender打豆浆，豆渣比较粗，自己试过的两个方子都不太喜欢。
好呀，谢谢。
我买的九阳9c，真不错呀，已经做了杏仁豆浆、花生豆浆。
接下来试试芝麻糊，把杏仁、花生啥都弄进去看看。
我在BBB买的跳跳推荐的那个。用了20% off 的胖子。
跳跳可是种了不少草，一直没等到BBB的胖子
好呀，谢谢。
我买的九阳9c，真不错呀，已经做了杏仁豆浆、花生豆浆。
接下来试试芝麻糊，把杏仁、花生啥都弄进去看看。
华人的那个link么？
我现在在等电子秤的deal。
觉得做西式面点，还是用秤的好。
这个cup和tbs、tsp不准确。
一勺面粉挖得紧实点、松点都要差好多。
你多少算deal阿。有个香港的网站，大概10几刀吧。就是运的慢点。
我干过的多了。。。 几乎和科学沾点儿边的我都学过。。。
其实我实验很好的，跑胶很好的。 但是当时有一个比较诡秘的东西， 一直出不来， 我是很迟才反应过来原因。 所以我说就我这样的， 什么都会说个不的， 都能着了道哇。 就是assumption不能随便make。 问题是你很多时候你根本不知道自己做了那么一个假设。。。
我现在在等电子秤的deal。
觉得做西式面点，还是用秤的好。
这个cup和tbs、tsp不准确。
一勺面粉挖得紧实点、松点都要差好多。
我现在觉得以前烤的老是太硬了，很有可能是因为那个cup没有挖松。你特意给的tip阿。
不知道是不是豆渣加得太多的缘故，明天全世界的google找方子去。
哈哈。。这个和你划清，从来没干过坏事，虎事，飚事，等等等等。
我妈就感叹，小时候，不会爬不会翻身的时候，放在那儿，我妈照顾不过来，就是眼睛转，一躺一天，都没个动静。
真好玩
我小时候是个人来疯
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-28 21:45:07编辑过]
8分钟abs， 那是人做的么， 我第一个45秒过后就是躺在哪儿不能动了
华人的那个link么？
是的，就是闲话置顶的那个，货送的很快。
我没买全豆的，买了个五谷米糊王，用起来好象要比全豆的麻烦些。
全豆是干豆湿豆都能做豆浆。
五谷米糊王好象只能做湿豆，但是我看它有个米糊功能很动心，一直想做些糊糊吃，所以买了这个。
现在是每天晚上临睡前泡上黄豆，第二天早晨到入机器，十几分钟就好了。
你多少算deal阿。有个香港的网站，大概10几刀吧。就是运的慢点。
跳跳说的BBB的要三十刀，target另外两个也要三十刀。
我看到mit有人说target电子厨房秤有过75%off，当然不奢望75%off，有个50%off也是好的
老公劝我别等了，找找胖子，二十刀拿下也可以了。
8分钟abs， 那是人做的么， 我第一个45秒过后就是躺在哪儿不能动了
8分钟abs， 那是人做的么， 我第一个45秒过后就是躺在哪儿不能动了
8分钟abs， 那是人做的么， 我第一个45秒过后就是躺在哪儿不能动了
我听人说做到后面就和玩似的
跳跳可是种了不少草，一直没等到BBB的胖子
20% 的胖子，我有。你要，我给你邮过去。咱也像小版的妈妈们，互通有无。
以下内容需要威望达到5才可以浏览
嫩自己感觉呢？
是的，就是闲话置顶的那个，货送的很快。
我没买全豆的，买了个五谷米糊王，用起来好象要比全豆的麻烦些。
全豆是干豆湿豆都能做豆浆。
五谷米糊王好象只能做湿豆，但是我看它有个米糊功能很动心，一直想做些糊糊吃，所以买了这个。
现在是每天晚上临睡前泡上黄豆，第二天早晨到入机器，十几分钟就好了。
清洗怎么样？
以下是引用xyin在2009-6-28 21:12:00的发言：
我觉得按照现在寿命预期。女方年纪最好比男方大5-8岁。否则还要70岁 改嫁， 真麻烦。。。。
玛雅，我这个不信权威， 是从哪儿来的呀。 我对大部分事情， 第一反应就是不对。 不管有没有道理，我都是先否定。。。 这个其实也不好， 有的时候浪费时间。 但是这样下来最后证明对了， 我就记得特别牢。。
这好像是为挑毛病而挑毛病哦.
8分钟abs， 那是人做的么， 我第一个45秒过后就是躺在哪儿不能动了
咪去了，腹部好疼啊。。。。
揉揉。明儿会更疼。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。坚持住呀。。。。。。。。。。。。。
跳跳说的BBB的要三十刀，target另外两个也要三十刀。
我看到mit有人说target电子厨房秤有过75%off，当然不奢望75%off，有个50%off也是好的
老公劝我别等了，找找胖子，二十刀拿下也可以了。
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.11311 这种是不要电池，收起来也比较好的。
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.2563 这种是电子的。
这个网站是freeshipping的，就是很慢；口碑和售后还可以，slickdeals上很多人的经历都很好，我买过几次东西，有一次寄的过程损坏了，还又给我寄了一次。
再或者，http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/magic.gadgets_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZ
这两款一个白的，一个透明的，我也喜欢，不过这个卖家我个人没有经验，看评价还可以接受，而且他似乎就卖这一类东西的。
嫩自己感觉呢？ jjhh
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-28 22:20:38编辑过]
我就不笑了，当初就是逃兵一个。
还是那个问题，do you really want it that much?
以下内容需要威望达到5才可以浏览
听起来有点意思，真相只有你知道
多感觉感觉，多想想
你的威望限制好像没设好
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-28 22:37:43编辑过]
你多少算deal阿。有个香港的网站，大概10几刀吧。就是运的慢点。
我也要买电子秤呀，还要买个烤箱的温度计。zt坚持要我买这两样，说这样我就没有baking失败的借口了。
我在BBB买的跳跳推荐的那个。用了20% off 的胖子。
有link么？
我也睡觉了
大家晚安
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.11311 这种是不要电池，收起来也比较好的。
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.2563 这种是电子的。
这个网站是freeshipping的，就是很慢；口碑和售后还可以，slickdeals上很多人的经历都很好，我买过几次东西，有一次寄的过程损坏了，还又给我寄了一次。
再或者，http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/magic.gadgets_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZ
这两款一个白的，一个透明的，我也喜欢，不过这个卖家我个人没有经验，看评价还可以接受，而且他似乎就卖这一类东西的。
多谢多谢！
鸡胸烤熟了，安全进入冰箱
我也睡觉了
大家晚安
晚安
有link么？
http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?boardid=222&topicid=273641&skin=0
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31452178?gt1=43001
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-28 23:02:17编辑过]
On marriage: Let’s call the whole thing off
Author Sandra Tsing Loh is ending her marriage. Is it time you did, too?
With nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, why do we still insist on tying the knot? As she ends her 20-year marriage, The Atlantic contributor Sandra Tsing Loh posits that the idea of lifelong wedded bliss has become obsolete.
View related photos
Sadly, and to my horror, I am divorcing. This was a 20-year partnership. My husband is a good man, though he did travel 20 weeks a year for work. I am a 47-year-old woman whose commitment to monogamy, at the very end, came unglued. This turn of events was a surprise. I don’t generally even enjoy men; I had an entirely manageable life and planned to go to my grave taking with me, as I do most nights to my bed, a glass of merlot and a good book. Cataclysmically changed, I disclosed everything. We cried, we bewailed the fate of our children.
And yet at the end of the day — literally during a five o’clock counseling appointment, as the golden late-afternoon sunlight spilled over the wall of Balinese masks — when given the final choice by our longtime family therapist, who stands in as our shaman, mother, or priest, I realized … no. Heart-shattering as this moment was — a gravestone sunk down on two decades of history — I would not be able to replace the romantic memory of my fellow transgressor with the more suitable image of my husband, which is what it would take in modern-therapy terms to knit our family’s domestic construct back together. In women’s-magazine parlance, I did not have the strength to “work on” falling in love again in my marriage. And as Laura Kipnis railed in “Against Love,” and as everyone knows, good relationships take work.
Which is not to say I’m against work. Indeed, what also came out that afternoon were the many tasks I — like so many other working/co-parenting/married mothers — have been doing for so many years and tearfully declared I would continue doing. I can pick up our girls from school every day; I can feed them dinner and kiss their noses and tell them stories; I can take them to their doctor and dentist appointments; I can earn my half — sometimes more — of the money; I can pay the bills; I can refinance the house at the best possible interest rate; I can drive my husband to the airport; in his absence, I can sort his mail; I can be home to let the plumber in on Thursday between nine and three, and I can wait for the cable guy; I can make dinner conversation with any family member; I can ask friendly questions about anybody’s day; I can administer hugs as needed to children, adults, dogs, cats; I can empty the litter box; I can stir wet food into dry.
I sense you picking up the first stone to hurl, even if you yourself may be twice or even three times divorced. Such a contradiction turns out to be uniquely American. Just because marriage didn’t work for us doesn’t mean we don’t believe in the institution. Just because our own marital track records are mixed doesn’t mean our hearts don’t lift at the sight of our daughters’ Tiffany-blue wedding invitations. After all, we can easily arrange to sit far from our exes, across the flower-bedecked aisle, so as not to roil the festive day. Just because we know that nearly half of U.S. marriages end in divorce — including perhaps even those of our own parents (my dearest childhood wish was not just that my parents would divorce, but also that my raging father would burst into flames) — doesn’t mean we aren’t confident ours is the one that will beat the odds.
Cherlin believes the reason for this paradox is that Americans hold two values at once: a culture of marriage and a culture of individualism. Or is it an American spirit of optimism wedded, if you will, to a Tocquevillian spirit of restlessness that inspires three out of four Americans to say they believe marriage is for life, while only one in four agreed with the notion that even if a marriage is unhappy, one should stay put for the sake of the children. If America is a “divorce culture,” it may be partly because we are a “marriage culture,” since we both divorce and marry (a projected 90 percent of us) at some of the highest rates anywhere on the globe. Hence Cherlin’s cautionary advice consists of two words — “Slow down” — his chief worry about our frenetic marriage-go-round being its negative impact on our children. In fact, while having two biological parents at home is, the statistics tell us, best for children, a single-parent household is almost as good. The harm comes, Cherlin argues, from parents continually coupling with new partners, so that the children are forced to bond, or compete for attention, with ever-new actors. These are the youngsters who are likely to suffer, according to a measurable matrix of factors such as truancy, disobedience in school, and teen pregnancy. Instead of preaching marriage, Cherlin says, we should preach domestic stability for children. Is marriage the best way to ensure this? Apparently not, at least not the way we do it in America.
Imagine driving with me now to Rachel’s house for our new 40-something social hobby — the Girls’ Night dinner. Leap not from my car, even though I realize — given my confessed extramarital affair, avowed childhood desire to see my father explode into flames, and carpet of tattered Happy Meal wrappers — I may not strike you as the most reliable explicator of modern marriage. Still, we forge on, and what I’d like to do now is recant for a moment and not be quite so hard on marriage, which I think is a very good fit for some people. It certainly has been for Judith S. Wallerstein (married more than 48 years, as the jacket flap indicates), co-author with Sandra Blakeslee of the 1995 book “The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts.”
Through close observation of 50 happily married couples, the authors identified four templates for lasting nuptial success.
The Romantic Marriage thrives on the spark of love that never dies. (Think of those affectionate 80-somethings in convalescent homes, still holding hands.)
The Rescue Marriage features partners who fit each other like lost puzzle pieces, healing each other from mutual childhood traumas. (And then there are those shrieky co-dependent pairs: think of fiercely attached couples whose commitment is cemented by a commitment to unwholesome habits. Said a friend of his 70-something WASP parents, who sally off to their frequent cruises with huge Lavoris bottles filled with gin: “What they share is an enthusiasm for drinking.”)
The Traditional Marriage succeeds because the man works while the woman runs the home, a clear and valuable division of labor.
我听人说做到后面就和玩似的
我要给玩死了
笑的肚皮都要破了，xyin说
这有什么好笑的， 实际情况呀。。。
我也要买电子秤呀，还要买个烤箱的温度计。zt坚持要我买这两样，说这样我就没有baking失败的借口了。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-29 7:26:55编辑过]
一些观点我赞同
一些不赞同。
不管怎么样， slow down and think, is not a bad idea.
罗罗， 重新思考婚姻是个痛苦的过程， 你要慢一点。不要急着做结论。
以下内容需要威望达到5才可以浏览
20% 的胖子，我有。你要，我给你邮过去。咱也像小版的妈妈们，互通有无。
要！！！！
谢谢谢谢。
我还要再买个温度计。
笑的肚皮都要破了，xyin说
xyin到七十都会穿着美美的比基尼去海滩的。
ps.前面seall投了尼采，记一票
清洗怎么样？
我买的这个清洗还算容易的，内胆是不锈钢的，水冲冲抹布抹抹就完了。
拉法尔网和过滤用的大勺得水里泡一会，放洗碗机里就能洗了。
洗起来最麻烦的是那个“热得快”的部分，机头不能进水，冲水的时候要注意水不要浇到机头上。
其他还好。
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.11311 这种是不要电池，收起来也比较好的。
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.2563 这种是电子的。
这个网站是freeshipping的，就是很慢；口碑和售后还可以，slickdeals上很多人的经历都很好，我买过几次东西，有一次寄的过程损坏了，还又给我寄了一次。
再或者，http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/magic.gadgets_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZ
这两款一个白的，一个透明的，我也喜欢，不过这个卖家我个人没有经验，看评价还可以接受，而且他似乎就卖这一类东西的。
谢谢冬日！！！我研究研究去
以下内容需要威望达到5才可以浏览
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-28 22:20:38编辑过]
缺啥补啥
我买的这个清洗还算容易的，内胆是不锈钢的，水冲冲抹布抹抹就完了。
拉法尔网和过滤用的大勺得水里泡一会，放洗碗机里就能洗了。
洗起来最麻烦的是那个“热得快”的部分，机头不能进水，冲水的时候要注意水不要浇到机头上。
其他还好。
恩就是那个头要手洗， 其他都可以扔到洗碗机
秘诀就是以做好就马上洗， 不要等。当心烫。 等等就硬了， 就不好洗了
我也要买电子秤呀，还要买个烤箱的温度计。zt坚持要我买这两样，说这样我就没有baking失败的借口了。
烤箱温度计你有具体目标么？我看也是琳琅满目不知道买那样。
我是器材派的，没做先买一堆东西。。
xyin到七十都会穿着美美的比基尼去海滩的。
小腹好疼呀
真的呀， 要是80了， 那就算了， 70还有1，20年呢。。再说， 他喜欢我开心快乐不是。。。
烤箱温度计你有具体目标么？我看也是琳琅满目不知道买那样。
我是器材派的，没做先买一堆东西。。
这个我没研究，为什么需要呢？烤箱上不是都有刻度吗？
小腹好疼呀
真的呀， 要是80了， 那就算了， 70还有1，20年呢。。再说， 他喜欢我开心快乐不是。。。
那个abs坚持住了，腹部是真的会很漂亮。
不过你悠着点，刚作要过肌肉关的，每天坚持做是最好的。最关键的是，千万别伤着。
这个我没研究，为什么需要呢？烤箱上不是都有刻度吗？
好象是说要测蛋糕内部的温度吧？
我不是很明白，以前考古器材的时候看到过有人说需要。。。。
小腹好疼呀
真的呀， 要是80了， 那就算了， 70还有1，20年呢。。再说， 他喜欢我开心快乐不是。。。
平时不努力
临时八分钟
好象是说要测蛋糕内部的温度吧？
我不是很明白，以前考古器材的时候看到过有人说需要。。。。
这个我一点不懂了，没考古过，见到店里卖，还以为是烤火鸡，大块牛肉之类的要用。
或者谁投了我没记上，来再说一遍。。
目前备选书目及票数——欢迎推荐别的书
1。lying on the couch
jolin
冬日
爱蓝
luoluo
我
2。当尼采哭泣 when nietzche wept
爱蓝
我
xyin
冬日
teagy （推荐blink）
seal
我看咱投也投不出个高下来了，干脆就这俩吧？谁愿意看哪个就看哪个，肯定都能凑够人讨论
那个abs坚持住了，腹部是真的会很漂亮。
不过你悠着点，刚作要过肌肉关的，每天坚持做是最好的。最关键的是，千万别伤着。
怎么坚持住啊
7月读书投票啦，谁还没投加油阿
或者谁投了我没记上，来再说一遍。。
目前备选书目及票数——欢迎推荐别的书
1。lying on the couch
jolin
冬日
爱蓝
luoluo
我
2。当尼采哭泣 when nietzche wept
爱蓝
我
xyin
冬日
teagy （推荐blink）
seal
我看咱投也投不出个高下来了，干脆就这俩吧？谁愿意看哪个就看哪个，肯定都能凑够人讨论
小red真负责。
这两本书我感觉是一个路数的，估计都能说起来。我同时看尼采的中文，和couch的英文，两个的学术词有些时候还能对照起来。
7月读书投票啦，谁还没投加油阿
或者谁投了我没记上，来再说一遍。。
目前备选书目及票数——欢迎推荐别的书
1。lying on the couch
jolin
冬日
爱蓝
luoluo
我
2。当尼采哭泣 when nietzche wept
爱蓝
我
xyin
冬日
teagy （推荐blink）
seal
我看咱投也投不出个高下来了，干脆就这俩吧？谁愿意看哪个就看哪个，肯定都能凑够人讨论
我没有问题，when nietzche wept的纸书还在路上，估计这周差不多要到了。
就是一起看两本英文书，我肯定落后的一塌糊涂了。。。。
in treatment我下载了，看的是英文字幕版，我老公说真boring，就是两人在那说话。
我到看得津津有味。
怎么坚持住啊
过肌肉关的时候，一定要坚持住，这个优先级放高点。因为不做比做疼得多。
过了肌肉关，就可以设计好一周几次了，不过也要坚持住，不然一段时间后，肌肉关白过了。
再诱惑一次，这个坚持住了，腹部真的会很漂亮。
我没有问题，when nietzche wept的纸书还在路上，估计这周差不多要到了。
就是一起看两本英文书，我肯定落后的一塌糊涂了。。。。
in treatment我下载了，看的是英文字幕版，我老公说真boring，就是两人在那说话。
我到看得津津有味。
ppstream上有吗？
这个我没研究，为什么需要呢？烤箱上不是都有刻度吗？
我家的烤箱温度不准。
ppstream上有吗？
木有，大概看的人不够多
我是电驴上拖的，对了jolin，我的怎么没有字幕阿，虽然听起来还能听个差不多
那天看了所谓字幕版天使与魔鬼，那字幕混乱的，还不够分散注意力的呢
木有，大概看的人不够多
我是电驴上拖的，对了jolin，我的怎么没有字幕阿，虽然听起来还能听个差不多
那天看了所谓字幕版天使与魔鬼，那字幕混乱的，还不够分散注意力的呢
字幕是另外当载入的。verycd上一共二个in treatment的第一季下载，一个dvd版本，一个hdtv版本。
dvd版本的字幕在下面跟贴的“剑寒心”给的资源里有。
hdtv的前十几集字幕可以到“射手网”去下载。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-29 8:18:15编辑过]
我买的这个清洗还算容易的，内胆是不锈钢的，水冲冲抹布抹抹就完了。
拉法尔网和过滤用的大勺得水里泡一会，放洗碗机里就能洗了。
洗起来最麻烦的是那个“热得快”的部分，机头不能进水，冲水的时候要注意水不要浇到机头上。
其他还好。
字幕是另外当载入的。verycd上一共二个in teartment的第一季下载，一个dvd版本，一个hdtv版本。
dvd版本的字幕在下面跟贴的“剑寒心”给的资源里有。
hdtv的前十几集字幕可以到“射手网”去下载。
那我还是算了。。继续锻炼盲听
ppstream上有吗？
没有，ppstream现在树大招风，一些新的热门的欧美剧涉及到版权，他们不敢放上来的。
in treatment 第一季DVD版本
http://www.verycd.com/topics/2730176/
字幕往下拉，有个ID剑寒心补充的资源里有字幕.rar文件下载，是英文字幕。
这里是其它用户补充的资源(我也要补充):
剑寒心
3月5日 补充
（...）
in treatment HDTV版本下载，前三十三集没有字幕，要到射手网搜索下载，但是好象是中文的。
http://www.verycd.com/topics/233373/
肯定会，豆渣一会就臭了。
迈克尔杰克逊亲自撰写的恐怖儿童故事剧本在他死后曝光，主角是他的幼子王子杰克逊二世及女儿巴莉丝，内容围绕虐儿及连环杀人。报道称剧本已经由笔迹专家核实为杰克逊亲笔所写，内容显示他有“人格分裂”的迹象，有指故事反映了他被父亲虐打的童年阴影。
主角用子女名字
该份剧本由英国《世界新闻报》取得，杰克逊2006年于英国写下这个名为《秋千上的孩子》的故事，时间就在他被控娈童的约一年后。故事两名主人翁与他的一对子女同名，分别是十一岁的巴莉丝及七岁王子杰克逊二世。
故
事一开始，两名主角玩厌了秋千走开时，被一群野狗追赶，巴莉丝大喊“爸爸”。另一幕中，小杰克逊向姐姐说，刀疤杀人魔杀死妻子，并把孩子绑在床上，饿他们
几日才下杀手。有一次，他杀害一名男子时遭反抗，被对方抢了刀割伤面部后，逃进了无尽头的“黑森林”，销声匿迹。两名孩子竟闯入森林找那“疯汉”，被他发
现及追杀，小杰克逊差点死去。但故事结局也出人意表，两名孩子竟与魔头共处，感觉“安全及被爱”。
这个共十三页的剧本写在一些书信及相片背面，以黑笔及蓝笔书写，字体东歪西倒，像是孩子的字，相信是杰克逊服药后所写。观察杰克逊字体有三十年之久的笔迹专家雷斯核实，剧本确为杰克逊亲笔，并指内容显示他有“人格分裂”的迹象。
----这个情形很象《24重人格》里的情节，MJ小时候多半受过挺严重的虐待。
我家的烤箱温度不准。
阿，这个因素被我直接忽略不计了。
字幕是另外当载入的。verycd上一共二个in treatment的第一季下载，一个dvd版本，一个hdtv版本。
dvd版本的字幕在下面跟贴的“剑寒心”给的资源里有。
hdtv的前十几集字幕可以到“射手网”去下载。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-29 8:18:15编辑过]
我死心了。
这个据说，如果不马上洗，就会很难弄。
没有，ppstream现在树大招风，一些新的热门的欧美剧涉及到版权，他们不敢放上来的。
in treatment 第一季DVD版本
http://www.verycd.com/topics/2730176/
字幕往下拉，有个ID剑寒心补充的资源里有字幕.rar文件下载，是英文字幕。
这里是其它用户补充的资源(我也要补充):
剑寒心
3月5日 补充
（...）
in treatment HDTV版本下载，前三十三集没有字幕，要到射手网搜索下载，但是好象是中文的。
http://www.verycd.com/topics/233373/
多谢jolin妈，我转给lg帮我当。
对了ppstream出了变形金刚2的枪版，不过我没看，这个片子可能要影院效果的。
我死心了。
为嘛，麻烦？
那你就下载DVD看好了，速度挺快的。
对话不难，就是有些主角某些地方说话说的太快，可能需要暂停或回退再听一下。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-29 8:33:07编辑过]
自撰恐怖剧本虐儿杀人
迈克尔杰克逊亲自撰写的恐怖儿童故事剧本在他死后曝光，主角是他的幼子王子杰克逊二世及女儿巴莉丝，内容围绕虐儿及连环杀人。报道称剧本已经由笔迹专家核实为杰克逊亲笔所写，内容显示他有“人格分裂”的迹象，有指故事反映了他被父亲虐打的童年阴影。
主角用子女名字
该份剧本由英国《世界新闻报》取得，杰克逊2006年于英国写下这个名为《秋千上的孩子》的故事，时间就在他被控娈童的约一年后。故事两名主人翁与他的一对子女同名，分别是十一岁的巴莉丝及七岁王子杰克逊二世。
故
事一开始，两名主角玩厌了秋千走开时，被一群野狗追赶，巴莉丝大喊“爸爸”。另一幕中，小杰克逊向姐姐说，刀疤杀人魔杀死妻子，并把孩子绑在床上，饿他们
几日才下杀手。有一次，他杀害一名男子时遭反抗，被对方抢了刀割伤面部后，逃进了无尽头的“黑森林”，销声匿迹。两名孩子竟闯入森林找那“疯汉”，被他发
现及追杀，小杰克逊差点死去。但故事结局也出人意表，两名孩子竟与魔头共处，感觉“安全及被爱”。
这个共十三页的剧本写在一些书信及相片背面，以黑笔及蓝笔书写，字体东歪西倒，像是孩子的字，相信是杰克逊服药后所写。观察杰克逊字体有三十年之久的笔迹专家雷斯核实，剧本确为杰克逊亲笔，并指内容显示他有“人格分裂”的迹象。
----这个情形很象《24重人格》里的情节，MJ小时候多半受过挺严重的虐待。
这个太恐怖了。
这个太恐怖了。
所以我不推荐大家看《24重人格》，这本纪实心理小说有点恐怖。。。。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-29 8:33:26编辑过]
为嘛，麻烦？
那你就下载DVD看好了，速度挺快的。
对话不难，就是有些主角某些地方说话说的太快，可能需要暂停或回退再停一下。
我家的网下东西很慢。
好象是说要测蛋糕内部的温度吧？
我不是很明白，以前考古器材的时候看到过有人说需要。。。。
不是用牙签吗
平时不努力
临时八分钟
就是说得我呀。。。
那个abs坚持住了，腹部是真的会很漂亮。
不过你悠着点，刚作要过肌肉关的，每天坚持做是最好的。最关键的是，千万别伤着。
我有个问题呀 我为什么会脖子疼呢？ 我老公说我用力不对， 还是用的脖子。。。。
过肌肉关的时候，一定要坚持住，这个优先级放高点。因为不做比做疼得多。
过了肌肉关，就可以设计好一周几次了，不过也要坚持住，不然一段时间后，肌肉关白过了。
再诱惑一次，这个坚持住了，腹部真的会很漂亮。
你奔一个我们看看也鼓励鼓励我
所以我不推荐大家看《24重人格》，这本纪实小说有点恐怖。。。。
这个我就没敢看。心理分析类的，我一般只敢看到正常人的和非暴力的。
你奔一个我们看看也鼓励鼓励我
你看人家的大肚子受鼓励？
我有个问题呀 我为什么会脖子疼呢？ 我老公说我用力不对， 还是用的脖子。。。。
脖子最多有点酸，不应该疼啊？
你奔一个我们看看也鼓励鼓励我
我ddp呢，都39周了，估计激励不了你了。
你看人家的大肚子受鼓励？
玛雅， 病急乱投医， 忘了冬日大肚婆
冬日， 你已经到时候了吧， 还没生， 还是在产床上灌水呀
预祝大顺产哈
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-29 8:40:33编辑过]
我家的网下东西很慢。
我家刚换了网，从ATT换到comcast。
26元basic cable和最低速度的网络。
以前ATT只有网络还要三十刀。
现在comcast比ATT快多了，一边用电驴一边上网一点都不影响。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-29 8:41:21编辑过]
脖子最多有点酸，不应该疼啊？
我老公说我起来是硬用脖子带起来的。。。。 所以脖子会疼。。。
玛雅， 病急乱投医， 忘了冬日大肚婆
冬日， 你已经到时候了吧， 还没生， 还是在产床上灌水呀
预祝大顺产哈
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-29 8:40:33编辑过]
我横竖只有一周了，估计又是一刀。算了，我也认了。
我横竖只有一周了，估计又是一刀。算了，我也认了。
你上次剖的，估计这次也是让你剖。
我的ob也这么说我，闹得我都不想生二胎，剖一刀恢复起来比顺产慢多了。
我家刚换了网，从ATT换到comcast。
26元basic cable和最低速度的网络。
以前ATT只有网络还要三十刀。
现在comcast比ATT快多了，一连用电驴一边上网一点都不影响。
这个package很合算阿。
我不记得comcast有没有覆盖我家了。现在用的是公寓提供的，所以电炉非常之慢，虽然不影响上网。
我老公说我起来是硬用脖子带起来的。。。。 所以脖子会疼。。。
那就是了，起来用力的地方应该是腹部，所以腹部会非常疼；如果你注意到用的是脖子，千万不要了，宁愿先缓着，容易伤到。