原帖：https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gcizmp/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_my_sons_college/ My son recently accepted a very well regarded school. I have been saving for his schooling for a while, and have enough to cover it. The problem is, my son recently told me he wants to major in English literature. I asked him a little bit more about this, and I really don’t agree with it. I don’t think it’s fair to me to have saved for so long just to pay for a non-lucrative degree. I told him I would pay for pre for pre-med, pre-law, or economics for finance. To me, college is an investment, and I don’t think it’s fair to me to pay for such a useless degree. He’s 18 so I told him we could make a compromise and enter a contract where if he choses one of those paths, I would pay back all loans he takes out. He’s taking this really hard, and thinks he’s entitled to my financial support. AITA for this? Edit: so I want to clear something up. I’m not really against the major; I just think he should go into specific fields. I am fine with him being an English major so long as he does a good career like medicine, law, business. That’s why I suggested the compromise of signing a contract with me that would stipulate I retroactively pay his loans with interest if he does one of those fields. I am in finance, and my wife and older son are both doctors. My older son was a poli sci major and still went to medical school, so I know it isn’t necessarily the major. And as a couple others have wondered, I am from China but moved here in middle school. Edit 2: this school is T10 USNWR. He can’t just go to college and turn this down. Edit 3: I understand how he is feeling. I wanted to go into a not very prestigious field when I was his age. I wanted it with all my heart. My parents would not let me. I hated them so much for it at the time, but looking back, I really appreciate it. They were right. Edit 4: Well subreddit rules stipulate that I must accept the judgement that I am an asshole according to conventional western belief. Edit 5: Guys okay I get it. I am the asshole. Edit 6: Oh well. Nobody understands. Good thing he’s my son and not any of yours. No son of mine is going to waste my money like that. Edit 7 final: You all seem to think he’s some saint who is totally above any sort of vanity. He wouldn’t last two weeks off of daddy’s credit card. He loves all of his clothes and vacations and the sort far too much. You think he’d just be all fine and dandy on his own? He wouldn’t make it two weeks. ==== === === === 大家可以去看看原帖下面的回复，米国人民基本清一色的觉得这个爹试图靠经济来控制/manipulate他的孩子，妥妥的asshole. 我觉得...虽然他话说的难听，但是多少是父母为子女计深远的角度出发。不觉得大学单纯是个投资，但是这里面有investment 的部分（日后“有用”的专业/课程），也有consumption/entertainment 的部分（学着高兴喜欢但是看不出什么直接效用的内容）。父母可以负责investment部分，但未必需要承担consumption 部分。
原帖：https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gcizmp/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_my_sons_college/ My son recently accepted a very well regarded school. I have been saving for his schooling for a while, and have enough to cover it. The problem is, my son recently told me he wants to major in English literature. I asked him a little bit more about this, and I really don’t agree with it. I don’t think it’s fair to me to have saved for so long just to pay for a non-lucrative degree. I told him I would pay for pre for pre-med, pre-law, or economics for finance. To me, college is an investment, and I don’t think it’s fair to me to pay for such a useless degree. He’s 18 so I told him we could make a compromise and enter a contract where if he choses one of those paths, I would pay back all loans he takes out. He’s taking this really hard, and thinks he’s entitled to my financial support. AITA for this? Edit: so I want to clear something up. I’m not really against the major; I just think he should go into specific fields. I am fine with him being an English major so long as he does a good career like medicine, law, business. That’s why I suggested the compromise of signing a contract with me that would stipulate I retroactively pay his loans with interest if he does one of those fields. I am in finance, and my wife and older son are both doctors. My older son was a poli sci major and still went to medical school, so I know it isn’t necessarily the major. And as a couple others have wondered, I am from China but moved here in middle school. Edit 2: this school is T10 USNWR. He can’t just go to college and turn this down. Edit 3: I understand how he is feeling. I wanted to go into a not very prestigious field when I was his age. I wanted it with all my heart. My parents would not let me. I hated them so much for it at the time, but looking back, I really appreciate it. They were right. Edit 4: Well subreddit rules stipulate that I must accept the judgement that I am an asshole according to conventional western belief. Edit 5: Guys okay I get it. I am the asshole. Edit 6: Oh well. Nobody understands. Good thing he’s my son and not any of yours. No son of mine is going to waste my money like that. Edit 7 final: You all seem to think he’s some saint who is totally above any sort of vanity. He wouldn’t last two weeks off of daddy’s credit card. He loves all of his clothes and vacations and the sort far too much. You think he’d just be all fine and dandy on his own? He wouldn’t make it two weeks. ==== === === ===大家可以去看看原帖下面的回复，米国人民基本清一色的觉得这个爹试图靠经济来控制/manipulate他的孩子，妥妥的asshole. 我觉得...虽然他话说的难听，但是多少是父母为子女计深远的角度出发。不觉得大学单纯是个投资，但是这里面有investment 的部分（日后“有用”的专业/课程），也有consumption/entertainment 的部分（学着高兴喜欢但是看不出什么直接效用的内容）。父母可以负责investment部分，但未必需要承担consumption 部分。
大家可以去看看原帖下面的回复，米国人民基本清一色的觉得这个爹试图靠经济来控制/manipulate他的孩子，妥妥的asshole.
我觉得...虽然他话说的难听，但是多少是父母为子女计深远的角度出发。不觉得大学单纯是个投资，但是这里面有investment 的部分（日后“有用”的专业/课程），也有consumption/entertainment 的部分（学着高兴喜欢但是看不出什么直接效用的内容）。父母可以负责investment部分，但未必需要承担consumption 部分。
有回复说专业未必决定出路的，爹某种程度上考虑到了。English lit, philosophy，history 这类纯文科，大把去法学院的。有其他second major日后去consulting, finance, 也不是稀奇的事。爹觉得日后但凡能是医法商，也不纠结专业。但是听起来儿子是没什么清晰打算？
我更好奇的是，一家子从父母到兄长都是professional 路线，小儿子的画风为什么这么清新？
🔥 最新回帖
因为娃的学费跟家庭收入有关，家庭收入高就没助学金
牛人读什么专业都是牛人，不读大学都可以，普通人还是选个实惠的专业
🛋️ 沙发板凳
爹
这个可以挣到钱吧
这个是中国人，美国人真不大管
这可不是白人家庭。爹是中国出生的，中学移民美国的。
孩子没有任何绘画美术基础，家长也没接触过这方面学科。亲戚倒没反对，就是私下有点忧心
本质都是自私的。给不给学费是自己的自由，控制子女是牺牲他们的自由
Reddit 用户，美国IP比例30%，中位数年龄20-22岁。
和“美国人民”的关联度很小，华人论坛都能更好地代表“美国人民”。
2) Eng lit不是不务正业的loser专业，前提娃不是loser。我就这种专业出身，混好好的。Why? 因为我喜欢，talent就是这个。
大妈们没必要破口大骂文学专业，混的好的多了去了，就算是流落街头了，又不去你家要饭，是吧
我看了也觉得这爹是asshole，只能培养木偶型子女
我已经选了啊，我父母也没拦着。十几万几十万很难吗？就算是没挣到钱的薪水微薄的，咋知道人家就不happy?
眼界不要太狭隘。虽说不该为了争论而争论，不过可以去翻翻历届总统，参议众议员，法律界，看有没有码公出身的。
嗯。我们系同学们不管国外国内，都混得好好的。关键是你擅长啥，passion在哪儿，而不是一开始就瞄准钱钱钱只认得钱。
不行的，这个爹说工资必须要80万才行，要是工资只有十五万就跟去大妈家要饭没什么差别了，要不是贵妇大妈们给艺术捐款，我们孩子都没地方上才艺课！
I am fine with him being an English major so long as he does a good career like medicine, law, business.
你这不和这孩子爸爸观点一样，没有从事本专业工作啊。
我还以为你能举个例子，继续干本行呢。
哦，那我也跟着骂asshole哈哈哈
典型的中国人的思维方式，总觉得爹妈一辈子欠自己，当爹娘的已经把你养大了，不欠你什么，愿意帮你付一部分学费是善意，不付就自己贷款，把啃老当作天经地义，这脸皮未免太厚了。
大学是基本思维训练和方法论，不需要太专业，从事其他专业完全可以再转。
这个父亲好像把儿子当工具，当一条狗，如果做了某个动作奖励一根骨头，不做饿着惩罚。
所以华人出不来杰出人物，只能出些螺丝钉，没灵魂的机器。
儿子可以不要资助，不要再理这种ahole爹了，从此不再往来，自己出去工作贷款。
文科专业照你说的，都是loser不务正业。难道说娃要去学anthropologie not English lit你就欣然支持掏钱包了？？
别的不好说，本来想要念文科专业的娃被父母胁迫去念了不喜欢不感兴趣的，肯定不happy
看来你完全不了解美国职场，也许一天也没工作过吧
我老公就是comparative literature 毕业后进了咨询公司，后来在科技公司做business development，工作内容做ppt，可惜不如麦肯锡做的好看，不得不承认做ppt还是要科班出身。
本科本来只是个general education, 啥叫走到黑阿？就算是码公，好多也是本科念数学，生物，等等。医生不也是本科念啥的都有。
麦肯锡校招都叫business analyst。
忧心什么，完全没有绘画基础没有portfolio，或者portfolio很烂大学基本不会考虑。
吓死人
Project manager 也有career 的，不是要饭的，可以当program manager （十几万）program director （二十几万），再往后也有VP EVP可以走。
大妈指出了，念lit能当个小秘拿个minimum wage就谢天谢地，怎么会有其他出路，没可能的。
华人自杀线都25万了好吧，十五万就当没生过这个儿子！
大妈理论：不是工程师，码公的都是asshole
是的。 我认识一华人子女本科选什么东亚文学比较。 后来本科毕业了后完全没有工作可以做，后来又修了工科的硕士， 成了我的同事。
另外有一个白女， 读的就是纯文科， 后来还读了个博士。 嫁了个工科男， 靠老公生活。 但是读了这么多书以后， 不能安安心心居家当主妇， 个性比较作， 也是艰难。
好的私校没奖学金学费都五万了，加食宿费，生活费省着点七万出头
错了，必须要是cloud architect，不能是data engineer. 顶锅盖跑了。
一个公司能说明啥？我还能说我们公司五万人，chief risk officer 就是学英文的。人家收入八位数。
还行啊，起码有用，和衣食住行一样离不开