原帖：https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gcizmp/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_my_sons_college/ My son recently accepted a very well regarded school. I have been saving for his schooling for a while, and have enough to cover it. The problem is, my son recently told me he wants to major in English literature. I asked him a little bit more about this, and I really don’t agree with it. I don’t think it’s fair to me to have saved for so long just to pay for a non-lucrative degree. I told him I would pay for pre for pre-med, pre-law, or economics for finance. To me, college is an investment, and I don’t think it’s fair to me to pay for such a useless degree. He’s 18 so I told him we could make a compromise and enter a contract where if he choses one of those paths, I would pay back all loans he takes out. He’s taking this really hard, and thinks he’s entitled to my financial support. AITA for this? Edit: so I want to clear something up. I’m not really against the major; I just think he should go into specific fields. I am fine with him being an English major so long as he does a good career like medicine, law, business. That’s why I suggested the compromise of signing a contract with me that would stipulate I retroactively pay his loans with interest if he does one of those fields. I am in finance, and my wife and older son are both doctors. My older son was a poli sci major and still went to medical school, so I know it isn’t necessarily the major. And as a couple others have wondered, I am from China but moved here in middle school. Edit 2: this school is T10 USNWR. He can’t just go to college and turn this down. Edit 3: I understand how he is feeling. I wanted to go into a not very prestigious field when I was his age. I wanted it with all my heart. My parents would not let me. I hated them so much for it at the time, but looking back, I really appreciate it. They were right. Edit 4: Well subreddit rules stipulate that I must accept the judgement that I am an asshole according to conventional western belief. Edit 5: Guys okay I get it. I am the asshole. Edit 6: Oh well. Nobody understands. Good thing he’s my son and not any of yours. No son of mine is going to waste my money like that. Edit 7 final: You all seem to think he’s some saint who is totally above any sort of vanity. He wouldn’t last two weeks off of daddy’s credit card. He loves all of his clothes and vacations and the sort far too much. You think he’d just be all fine and dandy on his own? He wouldn’t make it two weeks. ==== === === === 大家可以去看看原帖下面的回复，米国人民基本清一色的觉得这个爹试图靠经济来控制/manipulate他的孩子，妥妥的asshole. 我觉得...虽然他话说的难听，但是多少是父母为子女计深远的角度出发。不觉得大学单纯是个投资，但是这里面有investment 的部分（日后“有用”的专业/课程），也有consumption/entertainment 的部分（学着高兴喜欢但是看不出什么直接效用的内容）。父母可以负责investment部分，但未必需要承担consumption 部分。
reddit上人都是站着说话不腰疼！如果爹是各种闹，不让孩子学他喜欢的，那我会觉得不好！但是人家只是说孩子选他喜欢的专业他付学费，不喜欢的专业不付学费！这有什么问题！you cant tell how i spend my money！！！！！！！ 既然成年了，要求独立选择就应该有独立支付自己梦想的能力。要求付学费就是要钱啊！什么pay for it or not！你去买个车，人家还会问你要啥款式呢！凭什么付学费就不能有个喜好！那就不付呗！留着！孩子不后悔能混好就拿出来自己用，混不好，再给他读lucrative的其他学位吧……
原帖：https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gcizmp/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_my_sons_college/ My son recently accepted a very well regarded school. I have been saving for his schooling for a while, and have enough to cover it. The problem is, my son recently told me he wants to major in English literature. I asked him a little bit more about this, and I really don’t agree with it. I don’t think it’s fair to me to have saved for so long just to pay for a non-lucrative degree. I told him I would pay for pre for pre-med, pre-law, or economics for finance. To me, college is an investment, and I don’t think it’s fair to me to pay for such a useless degree. He’s 18 so I told him we could make a compromise and enter a contract where if he choses one of those paths, I would pay back all loans he takes out. He’s taking this really hard, and thinks he’s entitled to my financial support. AITA for this? Edit: so I want to clear something up. I’m not really against the major; I just think he should go into specific fields. I am fine with him being an English major so long as he does a good career like medicine, law, business. That’s why I suggested the compromise of signing a contract with me that would stipulate I retroactively pay his loans with interest if he does one of those fields. I am in finance, and my wife and older son are both doctors. My older son was a poli sci major and still went to medical school, so I know it isn’t necessarily the major. And as a couple others have wondered, I am from China but moved here in middle school. Edit 2: this school is T10 USNWR. He can’t just go to college and turn this down. Edit 3: I understand how he is feeling. I wanted to go into a not very prestigious field when I was his age. I wanted it with all my heart. My parents would not let me. I hated them so much for it at the time, but looking back, I really appreciate it. They were right. Edit 4: Well subreddit rules stipulate that I must accept the judgement that I am an asshole according to conventional western belief. Edit 5: Guys okay I get it. I am the asshole. Edit 6: Oh well. Nobody understands. Good thing he’s my son and not any of yours. No son of mine is going to waste my money like that. Edit 7 final: You all seem to think he’s some saint who is totally above any sort of vanity. He wouldn’t last two weeks off of daddy’s credit card. He loves all of his clothes and vacations and the sort far too much. You think he’d just be all fine and dandy on his own? He wouldn’t make it two weeks. ==== === === === 大家可以去看看原帖下面的回复，米国人民基本清一色的觉得这个爹试图靠经济来控制/manipulate他的孩子，妥妥的asshole. 我觉得...虽然他话说的难听，但是多少是父母为子女计深远的角度出发。不觉得大学单纯是个投资，但是这里面有investment 的部分（日后“有用”的专业/课程），也有consumption/entertainment 的部分（学着高兴喜欢但是看不出什么直接效用的内容）。父母可以负责investment部分，但未必需要承担consumption 部分。
你们太喜欢YY文科生了。我ex就是一个叫做Cleveland state 野鸡大学读的英文博士，现在是诗人，靠出诗集过日子，不仅没饿死，还顿顿吃肉，还时不时出国参加行业conference。
哈哈哈。我娃说长大以后要做 Youtuber
想起歪歌经常烤肉
哈哈，握手，我家的说收垃圾的也挺有意思，开着车倒垃圾。。。
诗人我想到的是歪哥，呵呵
这种得收藏起来
笑死了。对诗人要求不高啊。
高那个年代（1980s）不管去哪上大学，学费+生活费一年最多几百人民币吧。我爸那时候一个月工资才50块，得养全家呢。
不是专业有用没用
是只有家里有点家底的或者有一些人脉的，孩子才能大胆的学这些学科。不一定说要多富，但至少要条件不错。你看到的漂亮小哥哥姐姐，那也是家里不等着米下锅，不用回去边上学边照顾下边三个弟弟妹妹顺便给爹妈凑医药费的吧
学英文出来也没人拦着去四大咨询啊。 和学会计出来去四大有什么不一样吗？
passion不够吧，得有talent。只有passion的将来当兴趣还行，谋生还是不够。
如果还继续上学的话，确实学英文也没什么，法学院什么专业背景的都可以考，读英文的反而有优势，因为LSAT考的主要就是阅读能力。
又不是拿现在的钱去付几十年前的学费。当时几百块钱很多了。以前还有几毛钱一斤猪肉的时候呢，还不是一样很多人吃不到猪肉。
明智的父母，听上去特别有道理。
哈。
我学编程时一老师说他某cousin家特有钱，cousin致力当演员。
父母已供cousin读完三个名牌大学本科，类似英语+表演学+戏剧学这样三个专业。
目前cousin还在LA餐馆打工且无任何演出机会。
都是同龄人。他呢，大学教授属兼职，全职某大厂做码工多年，有相当级别和一堆手下。
他说经济上算comfortable，做老师是兴趣，家里大house住着不需工作的大美女太太和三个快乐的女儿。
这个根本进不去吧。申请visual art之类的学校，必须要有portfolio啊。
对，我觉得这个爹脑子挺清楚的。而且他也没强迫孩子不给他读English literature专业，只是说毕业以后如果进不了医法商professional school，不会帮他还student loan而已。版上拍这个爹的人是不是都看不懂英文原文啊。
想起电视剧The Affair男主Noah了。他应该是标准凤凰男，上的是Williams College，大妈最瞧不起的专业，出来主业是老师，副业写书。找了白富美老婆，天天被岳父岳母骂吃软饭。
就是，到头来还是转了consulting然后念MBA，这不是正说明English lit没前途吗？
行业专业讨论就不要提谁谁谁了，白富美也是不听爹妈话找屌丝。
什么行业都不缺屌丝逆袭，大妈嫁女儿也知道要告诉不要嫁屌丝。咱们主要还是靠数据说话。
握手。我们公司的CEO也是英文专业出身，但是人家念了H的MBA。我还真没听说英文专业不念个MBA/法律/finance或者转成其他专业，就能当CXO的
自己对文学专业，有信心混得好，就自己去贷款，当爹的没信心，也有这自由，只要自己的自由，不给别人自由，这是骂点。文学专业混得好的，真不多，弹钢琴还出了个朗朗呢！但是1000，10000，1000000学钢琴的人里，有一个朗朗吗？别人学，的确不来自己家吃饭，无需骂。现在大家代入，骂的是要钱的孩子，不是嘛！
就是，乔帮主不上大学比99.99%上了大学的厉害不知道多少倍，难道不上大学的都可以拿乔帮主代入？
re。不仅乔帮主，小扎，盖茨都没读完大学，绝大多数，读了几年，不如这少读几年的，是不是大学都该关门呢？
😄 人家父母可是要砸锅卖铁供他上，这么说来这位爸爸也比不上乔帮主的父母。
那个时候都没多少钱的吧？觉得是编的。那个时候也没有大学生出去打工赚钱的机会。
认识一个美国男孩学考古的，满世界里在各种考古队（学术的和商业的）打零工。大学毕业七年才混了个Master，正在念Ph.D.，不过找到学术届的Position还是很难的，都是一个萝卜一个坑。他也不知道自己博士毕业后的做得和现在会有啥差别。我觉得他挺loser的，但是看样子比这个纯学历史的还是强多了
我是不是可以说乔帮主当年觉得自己的专业太没钱途了所以很早就自觉退学了？对了，貌似乔帮主在Reed的专业就是English Literature哦，有图为证
有个同事藤校考古专业毕业，做了很多年低工资data entry的活，后来改成IT测试
那时侯木有学费，住宿也不要钱，自己掏的就是书钱和饭钱，至于饭钱，每个月有２０几块副食补贴。
这么牛逼为啥非要当爹的给钱？
小儿子18就算老大三十，父母也就50多吧。文革78年结束。可是他说他初中就搬到美国了。那应该是80年代了。所以这个爸爸80年代上初中，应该没有经历几年文革。
羡慕写作好有文学修养，理科又强到可以进隔壁技校的。将来必成大器。
这个要看后面的造化了，确实有从PM出身，一直当到VP的。真正到了那一次工程技术水平不重要，讲故事的能力，还有情商，心计最重要。我认识不少文科毕业进了麦肯锡BCG，然后进大公司直接当Director, Senior Director的。直接当VP的比较少，除非在麦肯锡已经当Partner了。
纠正一下，学费加生活费8万多起跳哦（学费就已经至少五万多了），要是读哥大，芝大之类更贵。
reddit上人都是站着说话不腰疼！如果爹是各种闹，不让孩子学他喜欢的，那我会觉得不好！但是人家只是说孩子选他喜欢的专业他付学费，不喜欢的专业不付学费！这有什么问题！you cant tell how i spend my money！！！！！！！ 既然成年了，要求独立选择就应该有独立支付自己梦想的能力。要求付学费就是要钱啊！什么pay for it or not！你去买个车，人家还会问你要啥款式呢！凭什么付学费就不能有个喜好！那就不付呗！留着！孩子不后悔能混好就拿出来自己用，混不好，再给他读lucrative的其他学位吧……
别扯了！美国人也不是傻子！啥挣钱啥不挣钱他们也知道！！！！只不过他们虚伪，不好意思正大光明的如此功利！但是私底下吐槽的多了去了！尤其是虚那些花大价钱学什么心理学的，都30多了还在还贷款的，也说他们loser……
没有那么个收入确实没有义务。爹妈挣个三五十万一年影响了孩子拿助学金，有没有义务也不是那么黑白分明的。
另一方面这个爸爸的担忧又很真实。一家人妈妈医生爸爸金融，一个习惯了优渥生活条件的孩子吃不了低收入的苦的。也没说不能学英国文学。只是要求之后法医商 不算很过分
这个BSO技巧性很强
Harvard的人 绝对不会说他上的harvard。但是会拐弯抹角的让你猜到一定是Harvard。。。
这位家长显然没人上过harvard或mit，所以bso还不是很到位。
高晓松他妈说的没错。自己出学费，想学啥学啥，如果要父母掏钱，就要听话。
你昨不说这个爸爸应该去wallstreetoasis问呢。
也未必，我一个同事就是MIT学了个历史，然后出来近了这个reddit老爹喜闻乐见的ibank，一年多就撤了，去了一家台湾茶叶公司做北美市场，做起来以后已经是3年后又去了个小生物制药公司做marketing，后来做腻歪了来了我们公司做商业贷款战略，呆了不到一年现在又去了个大麻产品公司不知道在干什么。
所以就算是孩子读了CS，进了金融／科技／law，也不见得就一直走下去了。
层主估计是大藤随便拒的牛人。
harvard的人喜欢说我住在Cambridge上学的时候 你懂就懂不懂拉倒
我老板孩子就是藤校读visual arts，还是和English literature的double major。然后又读了个巨贵的同专业master。毕业以后玩了两年，刷题转码去狗家了。
钱是人家的 我觉得人家有支配权
你自己想自己的自由 那你自己解决