Hi L， I just caught A counting her piggy bank money. She said she had to give E $60 tomorrow because E said A had to since A scared E couple times in the bathroom today. I told A it’s just a joke between friends. But A took it very seriously and felt upset that I said no.
So She asked me to clear this with you and E that it’s me who stopped her keeping her promise.
不要说 i caught my daughter taking money from her piggy bank, 这个好像是抓了现行的感觉。就说 I noticed that my daughter took $60 out of her piggy bank就好了。
还有就是你说只是小朋友间开玩笑，最好这样说: I initially thought it was just a silly joke between the girls, but then I realized that my daughter was threatened in the bathroom by E a couple of times and now she feels that she is obligated to give E the money that E demanded. This is not a friendly, harmless joke, but serious bullying.
不要说 i caught my daughter taking money from her piggy bank, 这个好像是抓了现行的感觉。就说 I noticed that my daughter took $60 out of her piggy bank就好了。
还有就是你说只是小朋友间开玩笑，最好这样说: I initially thought it was just a silly joke between the girls, but then I realized that my daughter was threatened in the bathroom by E a couple of times and now she feels that she is obligated to give E the money that E demanded. This is not a friendly, harmless joke, but serious bullying. 中华小当家 发表于 12/10/2018 10:21:21 PM
哪位能不能给我写一下草稿啊。决定明天早上直接找校长和老师谈。 又问了一下女儿，她说，她陪E上厕所，就吓唬了一下她，E笑了，让她再吓唬一次，她就又吓唬了一次，她们又都笑了，然后E就说，since you scared the crap out of me, you have to pay me $60 tomorrow. If not, it becomes $70. 我女儿说 ok. E就说 you promise? 我女儿说 ok.
我觉得直接跟老师说吧。说的时候这样说，大体提供个思路： I noticed that my daughter took $60 out of her piggy bank yesterday and asked her why she took out the money from her savings. I found out that her classmate, E, told my daughter that she has to bring $60 to her the next day. Initially I thought this was just a silly joke between the girls, but then I realized that my daughter felt that she was obligated to give E the money. I don’t know why E made my daughter feel this way, but this is not a harmless joke, but serious bullying. I urge you to have a conversation with E and her parents and stop her from bullying her classmates immediately. This is extremely inappropriate and I would like the school to step in and intervene as soon as possible.
我觉得直接跟老师说吧。说的时候这样说，大体提供个思路： I noticed that my daughter took $60 out of her piggy bank yesterday and asked her why she took out the money from her savings. I found out that her classmate, E, told my daughter that she has to bring $60 to her the next day. Initially I thought this was just a silly joke between the girls, but then I realized that my daughter felt that she was obligated to give E the money. I don’t know why E made my daughter feel this way, but this is not a harmless joke, but serious bullying. I urge you to have a conversation with E and her parents and stop her from bullying her classmates immediately. This is extremely inappropriate and I would like the school to step in and intervene as soon as possible. 中华小当家 发表于 12/10/2018 10:34:38 PM
哪位能不能给我写一下草稿啊。决定明天早上直接找校长和老师谈。 又问了一下女儿，她说，她陪E上厕所，就吓唬了一下她，E笑了，让她再吓唬一次，她就又吓唬了一次，她们又都笑了，然后E就说，since you scared the crap out of me, you have to pay me $60 tomorrow. If not, it becomes $70. 我女儿说 ok. E就说 you promise? 我女儿说 ok. uglysusan 发表于 12/10/2018 10:34:31 PM
这样听着不像bully，像小孩在开玩笑。确实要跟老师反应，也得跟孩子问清楚，她为什么take it this serious。
建议楼主不要提你女儿吓唬别人的事，没必要自己招了。就算E或者E的家长说你孩子吓唬人在先，你也应该说 what my daughter did was a harmless joke between friends. If her behavior were inappropriate, your daughter could tell her to stop or tell the teacher. No matter what, pressuring another child to give up money is bullying and definitely crossed the line.
建议楼主不要提你女儿吓唬别人的事，没必要自己招了。就算E或者E的家长说你孩子吓唬人在先，你也应该说 what my daughter did was a harmless joke between friends. If her behavior were inappropriate, your daughter could tell her to stop or tell the teacher. No matter what, pressuring another child to give up money is bullying and definitely crossed the line. 中华小当家 发表于 12/10/2018 10:39:58 PM
如果是我 直接冲去校长室 要求他/她马上叫老师过来 大家三个人坐下来谈 谈不好 我就直接去district office TODAY！ 跟对方妈妈讲 better talk with your daughter, otherwise, someone else will help you to educate her
如果是我 直接冲去校长室 要求他/她马上叫老师过来 大家三个人坐下来谈 谈不好 我就直接去district office TODAY！ 跟对方妈妈讲 better talk with your daughter, otherwise, someone else will help you to educate her MiniCorset 发表于 12/10/2018 10:49:46 PM
哪位能不能给我写一下草稿啊。决定明天早上直接找校长和老师谈。 又问了一下女儿，她说，她陪E上厕所，就吓唬了一下她，E笑了，让她再吓唬一次，她就又吓唬了一次，她们又都笑了，然后E就说，since you scared the crap out of me, you have to pay me $60 tomorrow. If not, it becomes $70. 我女儿说 ok. E就说 you promise? 我女儿说 ok. uglysusan 发表于 12/10/2018 10:34:31 PM
建议楼主不要提你女儿吓唬别人的事，没必要自己招了。就算E或者E的家长说你孩子吓唬人在先，你也应该说 what my daughter did was a harmless joke between friends. If her behavior were inappropriate, your daughter could tell her to stop or tell the teacher. No matter what, pressuring another child to give up money is bullying and definitely crossed the line. 中华小当家 发表于 12/10/2018 10:39:58 PM
exactly, 你想缓和气氛 是你的事
但是你女儿因为对方的话 worried。her feeling was disturbed and she is doing what she was asked for! That is bully! no doubt with it!
只要是bully，学校就要take action. 如果是我，我会跟学校说得很严重，说when i started to talk with her, she went crying right away. from our conversation, i understood that... i was so shocked with....
但是你女儿因为对方的话 worried。her feeling was disturbed and she is doing what she was asked for! That is bully! no doubt with it!
只要是bully，学校就要take action. 如果是我，我会跟学校说得很严重，说when i started to talk with her, she went crying right away. from our conversation, i understood that... i was so shocked with....
如果是我 直接冲去校长室 要求他/她马上叫老师过来 大家三个人坐下来谈 谈不好 我就直接去district office TODAY！ 跟对方妈妈讲 better talk with your daughter, otherwise, someone else will help you to educate her MiniCorset 发表于 12/10/2018 10:49:46 PM
直接给老师写email，加些label，比如concern孩子被bully，被intimidated,已经有negative impact on her mental health,要求老师take an action before it is escalated. 不要给另一个家长写，而且语气太弱，还什么regards。。。
exactly, 你想缓和气氛 是你的事 但是你女儿因为对方的话 worried。her feeling was disturbed and she is doing what she was asked for! That is bully! no doubt with it! 只要是bully，学校就要take action. 如果是我，我会跟学校说得很严重，说when i started to talk with her, she went crying right away. from our conversation, i understood that... i was so shocked with....
哪位能不能给我写一下草稿啊。决定明天早上直接找校长和老师谈。 又问了一下女儿，她说，她陪E上厕所，就吓唬了一下她，E笑了，让她再吓唬一次，她就又吓唬了一次，她们又都笑了，然后E就说，since you scared the crap out of me, you have to pay me $60 tomorrow. If not, it becomes $70. 我女儿说 ok. E就说 you promise? 我女儿说 ok. uglysusan 发表于 12/10/2018 10:34:31 PM
我觉得给对方家长发个短信先问一下到底分生了神马事情 顺便看看对方家长的素质。我有一次收到一个我女儿同学的朋友妈妈的短信 说我女儿拿了她女儿的一个Gmail account password 还说我女儿logged in her account without permission。说是我再不阻止我女儿就要去学校告诉老师了。我马上问我女儿怎么回事。我女儿说 对方女生主动把一个游戏prodigy login给她 让她有空帮她level。我就回复了对方短信 我说你女儿要我女儿帮她玩那个游戏 主动给了她login info 如果不是她offer谁能拿得到密码？我说我保证自己小孩不会再去登陆 但是你们这些sensitive info 不应该offer给别人 希望她们把密码也改了。总之 这个年纪的小女孩 一下好得不得了 一下不好了又搞这些唧唧歪歪的破事。我是不会只听一面之词就下结论的。
Hi L，
I just caught A counting her piggy bank money. She said she had to give E $60 tomorrow because E said A had to since A scared E couple times in the bathroom today. I told A it’s just a joke between friends. But A took it very seriously and felt upset that I said no.
So She asked me to clear this with you and E that it’s me who stopped her keeping her promise.
Have a great night
Regards
A’s mom
☆ 发自 iPhone 华人一网 1.14.01
可是他们都说我太客气了
说说应该怎么样和学校和老师讲呢？
谢谢。不熟悉的。
她就说和这个E在厕所里开玩笑吓唬人玩，这女生就说她吓唬到了，要我女儿陪钱。$60。
没踩啊。回帖的我都谢谢来着。可能不小心按错了。对不住了
不要说 i caught my daughter taking money from her piggy bank, 这个好像是抓了现行的感觉。就说 I noticed that my daughter took $60 out of her piggy bank就好了。
还有就是你说只是小朋友间开玩笑，最好这样说: I initially thought it was just a silly joke between the girls, but then I realized that my daughter was threatened in the bathroom by E a couple of times and now she feels that she is obligated to give E the money that E demanded. This is not a friendly, harmless joke, but serious bullying.
的确是她吓唬对方玩来着。人家让她赔钱。但是怎么样都不该要钱吧
就把你写的信的内容跟老师说一遍，强调钱的数额，强调女儿感到害怕。这么大的数额，如果真的不是在开玩笑，就是敲诈。最好问问女儿有没有人可以作证。
多谢多谢🙏！
那和老师校长说的时候，不说这个吓唬的事情？
多谢🙏！
楼主脑子有病吧，这怎么这么写啊？直接找学校根本不用提别的，就说E欺负你女儿讹钱啊
好！
还是找老师严正交涉吧。
楼主我前面改了，你就说小混混要钱，不用检讨你闺女吓唬人什么的。
又问了一下女儿，她说，她陪E上厕所，就吓唬了一下她，E笑了，让她再吓唬一次，她就又吓唬了一次，她们又都笑了，然后E就说，since you scared the crap out of me, you have to pay me $60 tomorrow. If not, it becomes $70. 我女儿说 ok. E就说 you promise? 我女儿说 ok.
玛雅，楼主你这email 立场太不对了啊，基调完全错了。
帮写一个啊？谢谢
多谢多谢🙏！
这样听着不像bully，像小孩在开玩笑。确实要跟老师反应，也得跟孩子问清楚，她为什么take it this serious。
太棒了👏👏！谢谢🙏！
是啊。我也问她为什么要这样听人家的话呢？
你女儿平时性格弱吗？平时跟朋友玩的时候容易被bully吗？你有问女儿对这事感到害怕吗？如果这些问题的答案都是no，那么就问她是否可以自己明天不带钱去处理跟e之间的事。也有可能e就那么一说，你女儿太当真了。这个可能性也是存在的。小朋友之间的事，也不一定非要都是大人出面，也可以给娃一些机会自己去处理。你最好多问问女儿，多掌握一些细节，然后再定夺。
☆ 发自 iPhone 华人一网 1.14.02
直接冲去校长室
要求他/她马上叫老师过来 大家三个人坐下来谈
谈不好 我就直接去district office TODAY！
跟对方妈妈讲 better talk with your daughter, otherwise, someone else will help you to educate her
这么听上去对方是不是也是玩笑？我觉得可以和你女儿先谈谈，说谁管她要钱都是不对的。如果这事儿以后对方没有再提可能就是玩笑？不过总体还是觉得不对劲
exactly, 你想缓和气氛 是你的事
但是你女儿因为对方的话 worried。her feeling was disturbed and she is doing what she was asked for! That is bully! no doubt with it!
只要是bully，学校就要take action. 如果是我，我会跟学校说得很严重，说when i started to talk with her, she went crying right away. from our conversation, i understood that... i was so shocked with....
如果没有cry也不用夸张吧？这也是不诚实啊。
赞。
参考瑞典曾先生。
sorry, that's my philosophy
stand your ground
when you have a chance, fight it back
i teach my kids the same thing
坦白讲 i'm AMAZED 这么多人在华人论坛上各种尖酸刻薄，一出门真的对外人的时候，居然怂了
不要给另一个家长写，而且语气太弱，还什么regards。。。
还是建议楼主再和女儿谈谈，从后面补充的情况看，也有可能是E一句玩笑但是女儿当真了。当然这个玩笑特别的不得体，绝对需要和对方家长还有老师沟通。楼主平时对E的印象如何？女儿自己性格如何？有没有能力自己去解决？
如果你觉得 support自己的女儿 让她在学校不被欺负 就是瑞典曾先生
我为你的女儿感到遗憾
我跟校长讲话的话，绝对用非常concern的语气，i'm sacrificing my valuable time sitting in front of you because i want this to be treated seriously
为啥回帖的妈妈们一看贴就立马跟bully联系起来呢？如果只是两个小p孩没轻没重的开玩笑一方误会了，大人一参合，那不就友尽了么？
撒谎和打滚，是曾先生的招儿。 教育孩子，先立个正面形象。 不靠撒谎和撒泼就不能保护孩子，是弱智。
不必要延申到我家，秒杀你这样的货。
victim/弱者心理，都过于敏感了。
应该大大方方地把事情处理掉： 教会孩子钱的概念，要钱/尤其是这么多钱是不合适的。expose给老师，不要给对方“下结论、定性”，就差不多了。
急吼吼的，对自己没好处。
画一张！！！！
That's the BEST idea I have ever seen!
超赞啊！
【可是，凭什么扣掉10块？ 明明是要画60块的!】
Bully有定义的，parent要是到学校里去交涉，但完全不懂bully的定义就指责对方是bully ... 后果会很funny的
我觉得E可以说她是开玩笑的。
娃都4年级了，有些事可以交给他们自己去处理了，家长跟娃保持良好沟通知道what is going on。
搞笑呢吧，跟说相声似的。。。。还sacrificing my valuable time....
哈哈，大家脑筋都转的很快啊
RE。楼主女儿太当真了。
这才是睿智幽默的父母。
exaggeration 和 撒谎是两回事，运用什么strategy去达到我想要的目的也是我的事。
楼主想要问其他人怎么做，我非常坦诚地告诉她我会怎么做
我家里也有四年级小孩，如果你要我相信4年级的小孩搞不懂什么是开玩笑的话，我也实在没什么好说的了
至于你说“秒杀你这样的货” 我就知道你的素质在哪里了。你就是我说的那种生活里面怂，网上硬的人。
我不会再回你的任何帖子。坦白讲，在生活中，我还真不一定愿意跟你讲话。
你这种，倒是很多见： 跟谁都能fight的人，基本上是最怂的人。 没跑儿. 其实，你这么敏感，说明生活中受的苦太多了些。
lol
哦，对了，人家女儿没哭，你上来就教人家说女儿哭了，“坦诚”你的头啊！ 哈哈
也许对你来说是相声，对我来说是事实。我很忙，每分钟算钱的不是吗
首先，面对面的谈话比email更能表明你的重视程度，其次email对于英语不够地道的我们确实容易被护犊子的美国爸妈抓住把柄。所以大家都建议LZ直接去学校跟老师谈。如果去面谈，最好把自己思路先根据大家的意见整理清楚，写下来，到时候陈述起来不容易乱。
也许e真的开始也是开玩笑，但她不知道这样的玩笑不合适。所以一方面，你可以让孩子明天自己去跟e 说，家长认为四年级的孩子之间不宜涉及到金钱来往，即使是作为类似惩罚性的手段的玩笑也是不合适的。如果e承认就是开个玩笑，这事就结束了。小孩子，对于开玩笑这种事把握不好度也是可能的。单纯从一件事上也很难判断e 的品行，LZ以后多关注就是了。
如果e不承认是开玩笑，或者嘴上说开玩笑，但有其他语言或者行为让你女儿仍然upset，你需要立刻约谈老师。
我觉得基本原则是学校发生的事情就直接找老师，不需要联络对方家长。
我听孩子讲过两件事，感觉老师不会随便扣帽子，上纲上线。本着教育为主。学校发生的事情，不轻易把家长卷入。
女儿二年级的时候，有一朋友A，强势。班上有一个social弱，但是出手阔绰的同学B，经常靠给同学东西，让人和她玩。
不记得是啥事，总之B惹了A。 A让B 给她买30个什么东西，大概要好几十块钱吧。B主动说要给女儿也买两个。回来我把女儿批评了一顿，说不能要同学的东西， blablabla. 我当时觉得是件很大的事情， 还考虑是否该告诉老师。结果不了了之，孩子们都忘了此事。
不久之后，老师在全班讲，"we don't buy friends, we make friends, 尤其是B，你要仔细听"。以后B也就不给大家买东西了。
另外一次，A唆使一同学C做了某事，C被大家说，然后A blame C, C大哭。结果是，C找了自己的好朋友D。D 陪着C一起去给老师告状。老师批评教育了A，也教育了C。
总体觉得老师处理小姑娘的事情，分寸掌握得不错，毕竟她们很有经验，立场中立，理性。
self-important的人，在美国是最受鄙视的。 鉴于你比较无知，友情提醒一下。
不管在公司里职位多高的家长，在孩子的学校里volunteer时，一般都很低调平和。咋咋呼呼说自己时间宝贵的，被第一时间dis掉。 毫无疑问。