她们弄了一个Decision Making Leave （DML）的文件. 要求我出一个action plan. 文中的英文部分摘自我给L的邮件（稍微做了一些改动）. 其实我月中就会在新单位上班了，我和她们交涉就是想看看她们到底怎么处理这件事情。 关于给软件公司那个项目经理发私人邮件的事，我确实做的比较愚蠢。
邮件中涉及的人物：L - Employee Relations specialist; R - my supervisor, director; Lilly, Executive Director, R's supervisor; Tina - the bully; Gina - 我们要升级的那个软件公司的项目经理；T - 我们部门的一个同事，已经找到新工作，这周五是她在这个单位的最后一天。
Good afternoon, L.
Thank you for sending me the DML documents and the template of the action plan. That was very considerate of you to include the action plan template.
BTW, what is a Decision Making Leave? Is it related to a 单位 Policy? If so, do you mind sending it to me so I know what is going on?
I'd like to summarize the meeting this morning at 10:30 AM with you, Lilly, and 单位employee relations的另外一个同事（因为Lilly和L都是remote，所以她们找了当地的一个同事）.
The key takeaways from the meeting:
1. Employee Relations and 我们部门did not find any discriminations or retaliations R had committed against me.
2. Employee Relations and 我们部门found my actions from September 26th to 27th being disruptive and had given me a list of 4 expectations. I would need to come up with an action plan to meet the expectations.
3. I was told by both L and Lilly that I have the options of either resigning from 单位 or working on the action plan to improve my conduct. The action plan had to be acceptable to Lilly, otherwise I would face termination.
Even though R didn't sign the DML document, her "signature" is everywhere in the document where she severely exaggerated what really had happened to support her conclusion of me being disruptive.
1. On Tuesday, September 26, 2023. Team meeting from 10-11 AM. After R was done discussing my progress with work, I asked her if I could take off at 3:30. She said it was okay and reminded me to use the PTO. Later I asked her politely if I could interrupt her for a minute and she said ok. So I informed her I would no longer need to leave early as 孩子的 dad will take him.
According to the DML document, "After the team meeting, 我 entered the regulatory office where four staff were present. 我 was reportedly very upset, loud and disruptive. " This was absolutely false. When I went to speak with T, I even asked her if I was interrupting anything or if she would prefer we spoke somewhere else. That showed I was trying to be discreet yet how I could be loud or disruptive at the same time. I'm so used to R's abusive way by now, I might have been slightly upset, but far from "very upset". As I told L before, the whole thing lasted less than 2 minutes so I don't see where the disruption was from.
2. According to the DML document, "On Wednesday, September 27, 2023, it is reported 我 stormed into a shared office space a little after 8:30 a.m. She was yelling at staff stating they needed to “watch their backs,” warning them people will “turn us in” for things. 我 was reported to be aggressive and using a very threatening tone."
I didn't "storm into" the office, I was at the doorway. I might have told them to watch their backs, but I definitely did not say “turn us in” as that is just not part of my vocabulary. I might have tried to warn them and had used a warning tone, but I definitely did not yell or use a "threatening tone". 两个同事 are new and I hardly have any interactions with them, there are reasons I may want to warn them about Tina, but why would I be aggressive towards them or threaten them? It just doesn't make sense.
The DML document continues " The Lead who witnessed this behavior asked 我 to stop, citing how unprofessional and inappropriate her behavior was. 我 proceeded to follow the Lead to her office continuing to yell at her. Staff were able to hear the interaction down the hall and reported being very uncomfortable with the situation, so much so they shut their door and placed a door stop behind it to slow her from entering their office again if she returned."
Wow, that was pretty vivid as if R were in the room when what she imagined had happened. Also I don't recall the lead Tina said anything about unprofessional and inappropriate. I would say she was more embarrassed at the time to say anything like that because I just publicly disclosed her true color: being a snitch. As to what happened in Tina's office, she tried to tell me she和另外两个同事didn't know about my salary, she said only R knows. She also tried to tell me why she reported me when I talked about the rate of my pay raise. She accused me of creating a lot of dramas. I did not yell at her, I only questioned her what the reason was when she reported my friend’s visit to my office.
3. Per the DML document, "On Thursday September 28, 2023, the Executive Director received an email from a third-party vendor of 单位’s which included emails from 我 to the vendor where 我 implied to the vendor that one of her coworkers should not be trusted by the vendor. "
R once told us at a team meeting on Tuesday that she was going to get Gina fired. Not sure who she was talking about, I asked who Gina was, thinking she was someone inside 单位. R said Gina from XXX. On multiple team meetings, she had mentioned Gina was looking for blood. After I learned she was going to have Gina fired, I felt bad for Gina as I had thought she was doing a good job and very knowledgeable about the software. So I reached out to her from my personal email account praising her being smart to have everything in writing as words could be twisted.
Even though I do not agree with 单位's decision that I was being disruptive as it was based on R's twisted words, I will work on the action plan and meet you at the same meeting room at 10 AM tomorrow.
虽然L不能告诉我她们是如何处理Tina和R的，但我知道Tina一定是被谈过话的。R也应该有一些处分，因为L说she substantiated我的一些concerns.昨天我提到R在例会上说要把Gabe fired, Lilly thanked me for sharing it and took notes and asked for more details. Today when I mentioned R kept escalating the whole thing and L also confirmed to Lilly that R did and she has evidence for it. Therefore it is clear that R should have to face consequences for some of her behaviors and that is good enough for me. 可能说 Discrimination and retaliation这种帽子太大，所以L一定不能得出这样的结论。
她们弄了一个Decision Making Leave （DML）的文件. 要求我出一个action plan. 文中的英文部分摘自我给L的邮件（稍微做了一些改动）. 其实我月中就会在新单位上班了，我和她们交涉就是想看看她们到底怎么处理这件事情。 关于给软件公司那个项目经理发私人邮件的事，我确实做的比较愚蠢。
邮件中涉及的人物：L - Employee Relations specialist; R - my supervisor, director; Lilly, Executive Director, R's supervisor; Tina - the bully; Gina - 我们要升级的那个软件公司的项目经理；T - 我们部门的一个同事，已经找到新工作，这周五是她在这个单位的最后一天。
Good afternoon, L.
Thank you for sending me the DML documents and the template of the action plan. That was very considerate of you to include the action plan template.
BTW, what is a Decision Making Leave? Is it related to a 单位 Policy? If so, do you mind sending it to me so I know what is going on?
I'd like to summarize the meeting this morning at 10:30 AM with you, Lilly, and 单位employee relations的另外一个同事（因为Lilly和L都是remote，所以她们找了当地的一个同事）.
The key takeaways from the meeting:
1. Employee Relations and 我们部门did not find any discriminations or retaliations R had committed against me.
2. Employee Relations and 我们部门found my actions from September 26th to 27th being disruptive and had given me a list of 4 expectations. I would need to come up with an action plan to meet the expectations.
3. I was told by both L and Lilly that I have the options of either resigning from 单位 or working on the action plan to improve my conduct. The action plan had to be acceptable to Lilly, otherwise I would face termination.
Even though R didn't sign the DML document, her "signature" is everywhere in the document where she severely exaggerated what really had happened to support her conclusion of me being disruptive.
1. On Tuesday, September 26, 2023. Team meeting from 10-11 AM. After R was done discussing my progress with work, I asked her if I could take off at 3:30. She said it was okay and reminded me to use the PTO. Later I asked her politely if I could interrupt her for a minute and she said ok. So I informed her I would no longer need to leave early as 孩子的 dad will take him.
According to the DML document, "After the team meeting, 我 entered the regulatory office where four staff were present. 我 was reportedly very upset, loud and disruptive. " This was absolutely false. When I went to speak with T, I even asked her if I was interrupting anything or if she would prefer we spoke somewhere else. That showed I was trying to be discreet yet how I could be loud or disruptive at the same time. I'm so used to R's abusive way by now, I might have been slightly upset, but far from "very upset". As I told L before, the whole thing lasted less than 2 minutes so I don't see where the disruption was from.
2. According to the DML document, "On Wednesday, September 27, 2023, it is reported 我 stormed into a shared office space a little after 8:30 a.m. She was yelling at staff stating they needed to “watch their backs,” warning them people will “turn us in” for things. 我 was reported to be aggressive and using a very threatening tone."
I didn't "storm into" the office, I was at the doorway. I might have told them to watch their backs, but I definitely did not say “turn us in” as that is just not part of my vocabulary. I might have tried to warn them and had used a warning tone, but I definitely did not yell or use a "threatening tone". 两个同事 are new and I hardly have any interactions with them, there are reasons I may want to warn them about Tina, but why would I be aggressive towards them or threaten them? It just doesn't make sense.
The DML document continues " The Lead who witnessed this behavior asked 我 to stop, citing how unprofessional and inappropriate her behavior was. 我 proceeded to follow the Lead to her office continuing to yell at her. Staff were able to hear the interaction down the hall and reported being very uncomfortable with the situation, so much so they shut their door and placed a door stop behind it to slow her from entering their office again if she returned."
Wow, that was pretty vivid as if R were in the room when what she imagined had happened. Also I don't recall the lead Tina said anything about unprofessional and inappropriate. I would say she was more embarrassed at the time to say anything like that because I just publicly disclosed her true color: being a snitch. As to what happened in Tina's office, she tried to tell me she和另外两个同事didn't know about my salary, she said only R knows. She also tried to tell me why she reported me when I talked about the rate of my pay raise. She accused me of creating a lot of dramas. I did not yell at her, I only questioned her what the reason was when she reported my friend’s visit to my office.
3. Per the DML document, "On Thursday September 28, 2023, the Executive Director received an email from a third-party vendor of 单位’s which included emails from 我 to the vendor where 我 implied to the vendor that one of her coworkers should not be trusted by the vendor. "
R once told us at a team meeting on Tuesday that she was going to get Gina fired. Not sure who she was talking about, I asked who Gina was, thinking she was someone inside 单位. R said Gina from XXX. On multiple team meetings, she had mentioned Gina was looking for blood. After I learned she was going to have Gina fired, I felt bad for Gina as I had thought she was doing a good job and very knowledgeable about the software. So I reached out to her from my personal email account praising her being smart to have everything in writing as words could be twisted.
Even though I do not agree with 单位's decision that I was being disruptive as it was based on R's twisted words, I will work on the action plan and meet you at the same meeting room at 10 AM tomorrow.
Thanks.
无论你的action 按照 action plan做的好也罢坏也罢，屠刀已经在空中了。祝贺你要跑路了。
我有更多她们做过的坏事的记录。谢谢！晚安！
1） 凡是他们对你的” 指控“， 只要没有书面证据的， 你都不承认， 你只需要回应：” This is not my recollection".
2) 凡是他们对你的 “指控”（ 有确凿的书面证据的） ， 你就说是当时压力大， 都是外部“ bully” 的环境所造成的。
3） 看看你有多少天还没有用完的“病假”， 赶快找医生开个证明， 证明你压力过大， 请病假， 在你离开 ”蛇鼠一窝“之前把病假用完。
4） 谈话的时候， 你问“ 蛇鼠一窝”， 让他们给你制定一个： ”action plan“。 你在这个基础上给他们反馈，等计划做完了。 你拍屁股走人---去你的新工作的地方上班。
5） 同时， 你强调， 你是被“ bully” 的受害者， 告诉他们： " I feel trapped in a toxic work environment beacuase of the constant stress created by the bully". 不要在细节上跟他们纠缠。
你现在积极找医生开假条， 修病假。
离职后会像工资那样一起发给我。我这几天反正也不用上班，就当休假了。现在基本不再太纠结这件事情。昨天晚上睡得特别好：）
非常感谢网友们的一路扶持，以及很多非常好的意见和建议！尤其是多多版主，苏梅和Julie多次出手相救。城里有你们真好！
我今天把自己写的action plan交给里Lilly和L，和她们讨论了这个计划的可行性等。她们也问了我能不能接受以后利用工作时间mandatory counseling。我说可以。我以前就想咨询的，但L说要用自己的时间。而且我知道R是不会让我下班晚点把时间补上。既然她们这么坦诚，丝毫没有为难我的意思，就是想帮助我度过这个难关，我也就放下戒心，告诉她们我找到了新工作，下周五是在这个单位最后一天。Lilly说单位可以付我工资一直到下周五。她从单位取了我的笔记本电脑给我。她会和我联系交接工作。我让她叫上另外一个同事（我的前任）。今天晚点去单位拿我的personal belongings.下周交电脑时一块把单位钥匙和门禁卡交了。
虽然L不能告诉我她们是如何处理Tina和R的，但我知道Tina一定是被谈过话的。R也应该有一些处分，因为L说she substantiated我的一些concerns.昨天我提到R在例会上说要把Gabe fired, Lilly thanked me for sharing it and took notes and asked for more details. Today when I mentioned R kept escalating the whole thing and L also confirmed to Lilly that R did and she has evidence for it. Therefore it is clear that R should have to face consequences for some of her behaviors and that is good enough for me. 可能说 Discrimination and retaliation这种帽子太大，所以L一定不能得出这样的结论。
这件事基本上就到此为止了。我估计不会再追究过往。新单位我以前在那里工作过，感觉面试我的那个主管人很好。我也通过在现单位的这些事情吸取了教训，以后希望不要再出什么幺蛾子。像R那样的领导确实也比较奇葩，大概率不会再碰到了吧：）
再次感谢大家的跟读和帮助！希望网友们工作顺利，身体健康，家庭幸福，心想事成！
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