Employee Relations 的L在调查R对我打击报复这件事。我感觉她就是在故意拖延。我上星期还以为可能因为T要走吧，management应该也考虑到我上面描述的这种情况。所以终于打算对我这件事更重视一些，应该是不想让我也走人吧。这周星期一开完会才发现我太把自己当根葱了。我，L和R 的头Lilly开会wrap up我请求Lilly给我换领导的事。我一看Lilly的脸色就知道不好。她们找借口说R没有对我报复。这个结果也不是完全在我的预料之外。会上我都懒得问任何问题。会后我写邮件给L总结了会议结果。当天晚上我意识到我以前太专注于R对我的报复了，其实discrimination也是很严重的问题。R让其他人8:30或者8:45上班，而我必须8点到。其他人早上有事来晚了，可以下午晚点走，以补上工作时间。而我不可以。R可能觉得自己赢了吧，在周二的例会上又开始咄咄逼人。我又电邮L并且拷贝了她的经理，问她歧视的事她调查的怎么样了。并且说I had thought 我们单位is an equal opportunity employer. My starting time alone tells me otherwise. Thanks to Employee Relations and the management, R feels she can do whatever to me with no consequences. I’m sure pretty soon I would have more baseless accusations from her for you to investigate. Is that why you didn’t include her in yesterday’s meeting in fear that she just opens her mouth and new accusations against me leap out from nowhere? 她说她会和经理周三开会讨论后给我答复。
我已经在星期二一大早officially接受了离家只有一英里的一个工作。即使工资少一些也不再在乎了。新单位要求做背景调查和毒品筛选。准确的starting date需要在背景调查后才能确定（两周后或者10月底）。星期三一大早去做drug screen。因为走错了路，等到了单位已经8点半了。因为想在去新单位之前的这三周左右过的平静一些，所以希望偷偷的溜进单位，别让那个bully Tina 看见我。结果她正在对着门的那个大办公室和人聊天（T 和另外两个同事），我迟到被她逮着了。I knew the next minute she would report my lateness to R. I finally couldn't take this constant surveillance of Tina on me anymore. I went in and told them all the things "someone" had reported to R, such as I mentioned in their office my pay increase rate, my starting hours at 8 and others at 8:30 or 8:45, and my friend’s visit to my office. I told them the consequences of these things by numerating the accusations R had made based on the information "someone" constantly feeding her. I had also told them L from Employee Relations was or is investigating the accusations.
On the way back to my office, I passed by Tina's. I knew she would report what just happened to R right away, so I told her to go ahead and report me. She accused me of creating a lot of drama, saying she reported me about the pay rate as I made others uncomfortable. I then asked her what the reason is for her to report to R that my friend had come to my office. That was when K (我们当地的一个director) intervened and told me to go to my office so I did.
About 20 minutes later, K called me to her office Webexing with L and R. K told me it's better for me to leave for the day for everyone to cool down. I asked her how about tomorrow or if I should collect my personal items in the office and take them home due to the possibility of being fired by 这个单位. She told me L would contact me later that day.
L called me and told me I'm now on paid suspension as I'm under investigation for "disruptive behaviors", not only for what happened on 9/27, but also for 9/26.
I had thought R had L investigate my "disruptive behaviors''. Then I learned from L some employees emailed her as they were "concerned" about my behaviors. I guess it's not that important whether the email was sent of their own free will or they were prompted by Tina/R to do so.
I'm not sure how 我们单位defines disruptive behaviors. I already detailed what happened on 9/27 in my previous email to L （上面已经提到了）. What I didn't say was that before I stood at their office door to make my case, they were chit chatting. The whole episode lasted about 3 minutes so I'm not really sure what I had interrupted (their chit chatting maybe?). My interaction with Tina lasted less than 2 minutes as K intervened right away.
It would be a joke if what happened on 9/26 could be called disruptive behaviors. After our team meeting ended at 11 AM, I went to speak with T. I asked her "didn't you hear that? She told me to use PTO just because I asked to leave an hour early. I know she let others make up hours, but I can't and that is discrimination". On the way out I realized I used to be able to make up hours too so I turned back and said I was allowed to do it before. R told me I'm not allowed only after she started to retaliate against me. The whole thing lasted less than 2 minutes.
I tried to think about yesterday morning why I couldn't tolerate Tina's constant spying anymore. I know with situations like this, I should have brought my grievance to R, Lilly or HR. L know very well what R would do if I tried to report Tina. Based on the meeting from Monday (9/25), I don't think I could expect justice and fairness from Lilly either. During the whole process working with Employee Relations, I found out I can't rely on HR either. Maybe subconsciously I felt I had to take matters into my own hands. My action yesterday was on the spur of the moment, realizing most of the accusations R made against me were because of Tina. Her impending reporting to R about my tardiness and years of being mistreated and spied on by her was the last straw that triggered my actions.
Whatever the consequences would be, I do not regret what I did yesterday. If I had fought back when Tina first started to bully/mistreat me, I wouldn't have suffered this long, nor would其他三个前同事. I wouldn't have gotten into conflicts with R either and I wouldn't have to find a new job. I'm fighting back not just for myself, but also for my fellow colleagues. The world would be a better place if no one were treated unfairly or disrespectfully.
文中的英文部分摘自我给L的邮件（稍微做了一些改动）。其实给她写邮件的原因之一就是自己有个记录。所以她应该很清楚我有比较好的documentation for everything going on.
我已经拒了单位内部的那个工作。她们不能match我现在的薪水。这个工作因为是patient finance，和我的专业以及以前的工作经验关系不大。她们之所以对我感兴趣是因为我现在的工作和这个职位的工作有交叉，她们也完全有把握我可以胜任（很快上手）和我现在不交叉那部分的工作。但凭我是这个领域的新人（也没有工作相关的学位和经验），如果想离开这个新职位去找工资高的职位不太可能。我本来想如果她们可以匹配我现在的薪酬的话，我会在这个职位上呆一段时间的。
我上星期一counter了外部那个工作给的薪水。上周发生的另外一件事是，我的director R让我培训的那个新人T （入职只有9个月）找到了新工作。看到她要走，我更觉得我需要尽快离开。我们部门共5个人。同时走2个人是对R这种失道寡助的人最好的报应。我和T是hourly employees. 剩下的3个人是salaried. 这3个人本来就在超负荷的工作，因为软件升级项目时间很紧。如果还要cover我们两个人的工作，她们会忙的团团转。估计也会想离开。其中两个人以前做过我不打算去的那个工作。我告诉了其中一个人那个工作机会：）
Employee Relations 的L在调查R对我打击报复这件事。我感觉她就是在故意拖延。我上星期还以为可能因为T要走吧，management应该也考虑到我上面描述的这种情况。所以终于打算对我这件事更重视一些，应该是不想让我也走人吧。这周星期一开完会才发现我太把自己当根葱了。我，L和R 的头Lilly开会wrap up我请求Lilly给我换领导的事。我一看Lilly的脸色就知道不好。她们找借口说R没有对我报复。这个结果也不是完全在我的预料之外。会上我都懒得问任何问题。会后我写邮件给L总结了会议结果。当天晚上我意识到我以前太专注于R对我的报复了，其实discrimination也是很严重的问题。R让其他人8:30或者8:45上班，而我必须8点到。其他人早上有事来晚了，可以下午晚点走，以补上工作时间。而我不可以。R可能觉得自己赢了吧，在周二的例会上又开始咄咄逼人。我又电邮L并且拷贝了她的经理，问她歧视的事她调查的怎么样了。并且说I had thought 我们单位is an equal opportunity employer. My starting time alone tells me otherwise. Thanks to Employee Relations and the management, R feels she can do whatever to me with no consequences. I’m sure pretty soon I would have more baseless accusations from her for you to investigate. Is that why you didn’t include her in yesterday’s meeting in fear that she just opens her mouth and new accusations against me leap out from nowhere? 她说她会和经理周三开会讨论后给我答复。
我已经在星期二一大早officially接受了离家只有一英里的一个工作。即使工资少一些也不再在乎了。新单位要求做背景调查和毒品筛选。准确的starting date需要在背景调查后才能确定（两周后或者10月底）。星期三一大早去做drug screen。因为走错了路，等到了单位已经8点半了。因为想在去新单位之前的这三周左右过的平静一些，所以希望偷偷的溜进单位，别让那个bully Tina 看见我。结果她正在对着门的那个大办公室和人聊天（T 和另外两个同事），我迟到被她逮着了。I knew the next minute she would report my lateness to R. I finally couldn't take this constant surveillance of Tina on me anymore. I went in and told them all the things "someone" had reported to R, such as I mentioned in their office my pay increase rate, my starting hours at 8 and others at 8:30 or 8:45, and my friend’s visit to my office. I told them the consequences of these things by numerating the accusations R had made based on the information "someone" constantly feeding her. I had also told them L from Employee Relations was or is investigating the accusations.
On the way back to my office, I passed by Tina's. I knew she would report what just happened to R right away, so I told her to go ahead and report me. She accused me of creating a lot of drama, saying she reported me about the pay rate as I made others uncomfortable. I then asked her what the reason is for her to report to R that my friend had come to my office. That was when K (我们当地的一个director) intervened and told me to go to my office so I did.
About 20 minutes later, K called me to her office Webexing with L and R. K told me it's better for me to leave for the day for everyone to cool down. I asked her how about tomorrow or if I should collect my personal items in the office and take them home due to the possibility of being fired by 这个单位. She told me L would contact me later that day.
L called me and told me I'm now on paid suspension as I'm under investigation for "disruptive behaviors", not only for what happened on 9/27, but also for 9/26.
I had thought R had L investigate my "disruptive behaviors''. Then I learned from L some employees emailed her as they were "concerned" about my behaviors. I guess it's not that important whether the email was sent of their own free will or they were prompted by Tina/R to do so.
I'm not sure how 我们单位defines disruptive behaviors. I already detailed what happened on 9/27 in my previous email to L （上面已经提到了）. What I didn't say was that before I stood at their office door to make my case, they were chit chatting. The whole episode lasted about 3 minutes so I'm not really sure what I had interrupted (their chit chatting maybe?). My interaction with Tina lasted less than 2 minutes as K intervened right away.
It would be a joke if what happened on 9/26 could be called disruptive behaviors. After our team meeting ended at 11 AM, I went to speak with T. I asked her "didn't you hear that? She told me to use PTO just because I asked to leave an hour early. I know she let others make up hours, but I can't and that is discrimination". On the way out I realized I used to be able to make up hours too so I turned back and said I was allowed to do it before. R told me I'm not allowed only after she started to retaliate against me. The whole thing lasted less than 2 minutes.
I tried to think about yesterday morning why I couldn't tolerate Tina's constant spying anymore. I know with situations like this, I should have brought my grievance to R, Lilly or HR. L know very well what R would do if I tried to report Tina. Based on the meeting from Monday (9/25), I don't think I could expect justice and fairness from Lilly either. During the whole process working with Employee Relations, I found out I can't rely on HR either. Maybe subconsciously I felt I had to take matters into my own hands. My action yesterday was on the spur of the moment, realizing most of the accusations R made against me were because of Tina. Her impending reporting to R about my tardiness and years of being mistreated and spied on by her was the last straw that triggered my actions.
Whatever the consequences would be, I do not regret what I did yesterday. If I had fought back when Tina first started to bully/mistreat me, I wouldn't have suffered this long, nor would其他三个前同事. I wouldn't have gotten into conflicts with R either and I wouldn't have to find a new job. I'm fighting back not just for myself, but also for my fellow colleagues. The world would be a better place if no one were treated unfairly or disrespectfully.
所以这两天我就在家呆着。如果她们开除我的话，这算不算wrongful termination? 一个朋友已经给我推荐了一家律所。我可能不继续追究。即使要追究，也要等到新单位站稳脚再说。
再次感谢大家的支持和帮助。这两天睡眠有一些影响。能睡着，但连续两天醒的太早。今天骑车时间长，希望睡眠会有所改善。
你太老实了， 把自己所有的想法全部告诉“ 蛇鼠 一窝”。 我的建议： 不要跟他们明斗， 先focus 在你的新工作上， 等你的新工作稳定后， 再去你所在的州的州政府EEOC 办公室 file complaint， accuse 你的单位对你歧视。 链接在此：
https://www.eeoc.gov/state-local-and-tribal-programs-coordinators-program-managers
file 投诉的时候， 用简洁明了的英文陈述事实，语言要简明扼要， 列举出时间， 地点， 人物 ， 事件的简单经过， 最后加上你的feeling。 然后，你会跟处理这类” case“ 的政府官员有一个面谈， next‘ 蛇鼠一窝“ 就会被调查，调查人员会直接联系霸凌你的原单位， 开展调查。
重点： 你要智斗，不能让敌人明白你的计划。 你在背地里去州政府投诉他们歧视你。用法律， 法规， 和事实来为你维权。
你拿到了 new offer 这个好消息， 千万不要让你的敌人知道。 单位里， 最好是任何人都不要告诉。 另外， 你现在也不要主动离职 （ resign）， 如果单位 fire 你， 你就正好用这个事实（ 被开除） 再给敌人加一条你被歧视的有力的证据。
原则： 先把注意力放在你的新工作上。 I hope that things are moving towards a better direction for you.
Take care...
也不能有anger, being aggressive. 因为这很容易被归于有mental health issue. 我们的文化是讲直理。有时候很吃亏。你先冷静下来。
快到退休年龄了，工资多点少点没那么重要。
无论结局如何，你这么一闹那个领导也有受挫感了。注意不要四处树敌。不要在单位同时和两个人挑战。
如你的英文信中所说，假设你一开始在别人对你不客气的时候就加以制止，结果可能会对你更有利。
沟通方式与文化有关，我们从小就被教着做事含蓄，彼此心照不宣，做起事来好游刃有余，失败了也不至于没面子，人情还在。一件事情明明白白地说了出来，不是低估对方的智力，就是不懂人情世故，不知道给自己留有余地。但在文化不同的情况下，我们的含蓄会被别人误解成不在乎，或者好欺负。
记得我刚工作的时候，与管理开会时提到一位同事影响到我的工作进展。管理说跟她谈，我说这次就算了，很可能没有下次了，有了再说。管理说这次不说，肯定有下次。你不说，她怎么知道。这句话如醍醐灌顶。对我以后的沟通帮助不少。
说，不是吵架，而是用不卑不亢的沟通方式，简单明了，客客气气地怼回去，不仅解决了问题，更重要的是建立一个不好欺负的人设。
我曾经推荐过一本《温柔的语言自卫术》，这本书讲的就是如何简单明了，客客气气地怼回去的技巧。链接在此：https://blog.wenxuecity.com/myblog/42433/77958.html
祝你好运
现在这个工作（QA 检查QC的工作）和以前的工作（QC）有很多交集。曾经为了提拔她的人把我的职位撤销的那个人和她的Minions也都不在这家公司了。祝中秋快乐，月圆事顺！
其实R在2020年入职几个月的时候人还不错，也没有和那个bully深度绑定。她当时知道后，也曾经提出她要不要和Tina谈谈。我当时说Tina做的都很subtle，就先不需要谈了吧。
非常喜欢您的这句话“说，不是吵架，而是用不卑不亢的沟通方式，简单明了，客客气气地怼回去，不仅解决了问题，更重要的是建立一个不好欺负的人设。”至理名言啊！原创的作家高妹也建议我到一个新单位必须先建立一个不好欺负的人设。
多谢您推荐的书《The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin》。我会认真读，并争取学以致用的。您博客里的好文章真不少。我已经加了朋友圈，会常来您的园子里学习和娱乐。现在我知道多多是位美女了：）
祝中秋快乐，月圆事顺！
你的精力和时间都用于和他们缠斗了，你就一直在底层打转了。早托生早自由。不是为了他们，是为了你自己。
利益冲突无可避免，那么需要自己主观能动地尽量与各种各样的人相处尤其是官高一级的上司。面对Covid病毒，战斗（fight）是无济于事的，首先要采取自我保护措施，就算要去放飞自我拼个刺刀见红，那至少先要打个疫苗吧。3年疫情已经告一段落，但病毒还是无处不在无时变异，你在这个公司的斗争也已落幕，未来的职场还是会有一些不可预知的利益冲突，但我相信你能够把控好！说句题外话，那天你为新工作做什么drug screen而上班迟到被Tina瞄到，如果是我此时此刻不当回事，肯定妥妥定定地迈着稳健的步伐面带微笑对Tina说声“good morning“，说不定这是彼此间最后一次的早安，把过去的抛在脑后。
她不理我已经有一段时间了。我一直想让她知道她无时无刻的汇报我，不一定是在帮R。因为她的小报告，R提出了几个对我的指控，被HR调查后都不成立。HR虽然说是在调查我的disruptive behaviors, 但我觉得她们真正要搞清楚的是能不能以此为借口开除我，又不能让我以此作为将来起诉她们的证据之一。晚安！