Sounds like 放羊式的管理 is the way to get a genius. On the contrary, if your kid is a genius, then use 放羊式的管理. For most kids (99.9%), training is necessary for them to learn things and to be good at something. You are probably mis-led by the theory of 放羊式的管理, and have not trained your kid when he was in elementary/middle school.
One more time, if your kid is a genius, then use 放羊式的管理; otherwise, it will be hard for him/her to be good at something that is competetive. Even a genius will need tough training to get to the top; part of genius is that he does not feel that training is hard to him.
did similar thing: forgetting to do homework, forgetting quiz time, etc. We bought a really nice planbook for him and work with him using the planbook for each day and week plan (like homework, quiz time, project due date). Even nothing to do, just write down nothing to do or relax time. It takes months or so for him to get better. Our feeling is that boys (or my son) will just need to be pushed from parents :).
从开学到现在累计有10多次了。说了很多回,还是照样忘记。我说你把老师布置的作业记在本子上,晚上不会就忘记了。结果上课时忘了写下来。我每天晚上提醒一遍看看是不是写了,早上提醒一定要交上去,就这样有时候还是忘了交。
学校的规定,有的课晚交作业是零分,不能补交。有些补交了是50分。目前为止考试成绩不错,勉强能维持A。但是一直这样下去,真不知到以后的GPA会怎样。
好好说也说了,态度好的很,表示一定照做。下次还是照旧忘了做或者忘了交。我也带孩子看了医生,看是不是有抑郁,医生很肯定的说没有,非常的mentally healthy. 和老师谈了,老师说课堂上态度很认真, 交上去的作业也是好好做的。
我不是虎妈,也从来没有在孩子学习的事情上施加压力。高中以前也没有过问学习上的事情, 基本是放羊式的管理。但是我周围从未听说有哪个孩子这么频繁的不交作业。请教有经验的家长有什么建议?非常感谢!!!
很多男孩子都这样。我家的说,90就能拿A,为啥要费那劲考91?
我现在每天和他坐下来一门一门对一遍
然后中期考试一查成绩,作业很多零分,打也打了,骂也骂了,没用
娃还态度好,家长咋联系的?
熊娃从小自己搞定作业这些,所以我可能是有点儿站着说话不腰疼,但是男娃成熟晚,其他让家长郁闷吐血的时候多着呢,边忍边等吧,娃总会长大。再说你娃这样也还是A,我觉得没啥大事儿
Sounds like 放羊式的管理 is the way to get a genius. On the contrary, if your kid is a genius, then use 放羊式的管理. For most kids (99.9%), training is necessary for them to learn things and to be good at something. You are probably mis-led by the theory of 放羊式的管理, and have not trained your kid when he was in elementary/middle school.
One more time, if your kid is a genius, then use 放羊式的管理; otherwise, it will be hard for him/her to be good at something that is competetive. Even a genius will need tough training to get to the top; part of genius is that he does not feel that training is hard to him.
我家从小就忘,小学时候衣服饭盒,有一次书包都丢了。初中功课忘过无数次,我还到这里问过有什么解法没有。今年高中了,也忘,但是好像好多了。结论是天性如此,怕是organization skill永远比不上别的娃,但是如果做父母的在旁边唠叨久了,还是很有帮助。你能做的事就是继续提醒,找各种方式提醒,口头的,书面的,家里放event calendar.....
有些老师就是口述作业,有的写在白板上, 不在网上贴的。
现在的课没有AP,拿A还容易。AP课像这样不交作业,那还不能保A啊?
唉,我也不敢推,一直保持着和颜悦色的谈话。孩子有几个朋友有抑郁症,让人很担心哪。有两个孩子是家长推的很厉害, 小学就学完calculus了。
忘了带乐器上学
我觉得可能是这样。孩子有点太relax。我怕掌握不好边界,所以一直是他喜欢什么就让去做。您有什么好的training可以推荐一下的吗?
小学和初中是不是忘了交作业,我不知道,从来没有检查过。我会多提醒。谢谢建议!!!
女娃肯定不一样啊
他自己也着急吗?你娃放养的,没到青春期也快了,到时候能平稳过渡比A重要。
楼上说的是娃要top,放养就适当降低期望值,让时间和基因见效。
教学理念就是4年级以前家长要管,把习惯养成好,初中左右就开始放手自己管理,到大学才可以放心离家
did similar thing: forgetting to do homework, forgetting quiz time, etc. We bought a really nice planbook for him and work with him using the planbook for each day and week plan (like homework, quiz time, project due date). Even nothing to do, just write down nothing to do or relax time. It takes months or so for him to get better. Our feeling is that boys (or my son) will just need to be pushed from parents :).
有一年俩在一个club,出门比赛钱是给儿子 :(
头几年每次开学前给他一个记事本,全都只记了半页就没影了。直到十二年级才基本长好记性。
GPA也是,头两年他得个90最高兴,稍微高点就放松,结果有两次没踩好钢丝掉下去了。十一年级后才稳定下来,12年级成绩最好,因为他不再满足于踩钢丝了。
有些男孩成熟晚,只要能保住全A,要给他们空间去慢慢成熟。家长压得太紧,怕孩子逆反严重。
我也不至于天天接娃挨老师训,不打电话找我就算好事。。。
我只是告诉lz,糟心的事多着呢,这真不算啥,给娃时间,最后都是基因的力量了。
学业如此性格如此啥都如此。。。
现在大学懂事了每天学习,家长担心身体
丫头至今很感谢我,说我是她最好的朋友,就是因为高中时期,很多事我由她胡闹,让她看见后果,再温柔带她回头。她跟头栽得早,到大学就不胡闹了。反观那些被家长催逼的孩子,到大学有不少失去动力的,忧郁自杀吸毒这种极端例子不说,但跟家长反着干的多了去了。人好多时候是要从失败中学习的,我的看法,跟头栽得越早越好。亚裔有一个问题就是家长不愿意让娃栽跟头,过度保护,以至于娃的跟头栽在后面,反而要命。当然,有利害娃一辈子顺的,但不是大多数。
我觉得孩子以前吃亏太少。在家里都顺着他,在学校里功课容易,也没得过很差的成绩。这次看看会怎样,要有心改正我才好使得上力帮他。
也有个记事本,记过几次。不能坚持。估计他也是想踩钢丝保个A。哪有那么容易的事。
几年来他一直丢三落四的,8年级的时候,班主任老师给他一张表,列出3个targets, 每天每节课的老师都要在上面写评语, 其中就有写作业交作业,晚上回家家长签字。断断续续持续了好几个月,从去年年初开始,他彻底改变了,随之学习突飞猛进,是班里top student, 现在我终于放下心了,开始规划他上大学的事了:)