After you Dad and I said good bye to you after our visiting youon Sept 28th, I went back to the hallway, I wanted to see you once more. All I saw was your back happily hugging a friend who lives next to your room. At that moment, I felt relieved: you had so quickly found friends and made xxx as your home.
I know you wanted this for a long time: being independent, being free from your parents’ bugging. Actually, you achieved your goal when you were only 16. You went to Japan as an exchange student for that summer, then at 17, you graduated a year earlier from your high school, went to live in Germany for a year, learning German, German school and culture. You interacted very well with your host family and all the students you met.
Even since you were a few days old baby, you were super energic: you didn’t want to sleep, you didn’t want to miss any wonderful things in the world. As such go-go girl, you surprised me that actually you could sit quietly for hours doing somethings you enjoyed. On your high school junior year, every week you spent many hours painting the picture for our City Zoo. Three weeks ago, I deliberately went to the Zoo to look again your volunteered paining. It was so beautiful, at the entrance of the door, I am so prouder of you, xxx!
Since you started your college, I have missed you terribly. But I know that xxx will fully prepare you for the skills for your career, prepare you to see bigger world. I know you will learn the wisdom from the cool girls you mentioned to us, you met from the Sorority and build a long-time friendship with them. I am so happy for you because you are happy there. I will know you will fly higher and higher. Just remember your parents will be always here cheering for you!
她的Sorority 当众给每个人读父母写的surprise letter. 估计当时她也是满怀期待地听着，结果说爸爸写的信，象是在说她的简历,没感情。她说别人家长的信都很有感情，让他们的女孩子们听了都哭起来，爸爸的信没有足够地表达父母的爱。让她听了好尴尬。她说妈应该由你写的呵。我说我是写了，给你爸看了，给他都删了，觉得很多多余的话。结果她看了我的原稿说，写得很好，让她感觉好多了，她说妈应该发上你写的。她然后写了一大串mom，I love you之类的话。
我没想到她会这么激动。当时我们两个不知道写点什么，我觉得我们给她要说的话都说过好多遍了。我也吃不准在这样的场合应该说什么。我说你应该知道父母都很爱你呀。当时我不理解她怎么现在变得这么sensitive。今天看了下面的讨论帖，知道她心里一定还是很想家的，虽然有很多新朋友。所以以后要格外多表示我们的爱。
父母不擅长忽悠的孩子尴尬。
父母的喜悦及爱。他们听这些不会听厌。
家的最烦我打电话。警告我若每天打就block我。如果我写煽情的信还不kill我。多难为情。
但父母不知者也不能怪。
父母多爱她，连学费都替她付了？她应该写给父母，感谢养育之恩
Santa brought them one DS Lit, because Santa did not have fund. The letter instructed them to take turns sharing the player. They did take the advice.
After you Dad and I said good bye to you after our visiting youon Sept 28th, I went back to the hallway, I wanted to see you once more. All I saw was your back happily hugging a friend who lives next to your room. At that moment, I felt relieved: you had so quickly found friends and made xxx as your home.
I know you wanted this for a long time: being independent, being free from your parents’ bugging. Actually, you achieved your goal when you were only 16. You went to Japan as an exchange student for that summer, then at 17, you graduated a year earlier from your high school, went to live in Germany for a year, learning German, German school and culture. You interacted very well with your host family and all the students you met.
Even since you were a few days old baby, you were super energic: you didn’t want to sleep, you didn’t want to miss any wonderful things in the world. As such go-go girl, you surprised me that actually you could sit quietly for hours doing somethings you enjoyed. On your high school junior year, every week you spent many hours painting the picture for our City Zoo. Three weeks ago, I deliberately went to the Zoo to look again your volunteered paining. It was so beautiful, at the entrance of the door, I am so prouder of you, xxx!
Since you started your college, I have missed you terribly. But I know that xxx will fully prepare you for the skills for your career, prepare you to see bigger world. I know you will learn the wisdom from the cool girls you mentioned to us, you met from the Sorority and build a long-time friendship with them. I am so happy for you because you are happy there. I will know you will fly higher and higher. Just remember your parents will be always here cheering for you!
Love you!
就让她尴尬。所以我觉得问题不是在孩子身上，而是这个活动本身。
前几年我们住在大农村的时候，申请过那边的一所私校。前几天翻到当年的申请材料，原来家长要回答十一个问题。。。原来我当年还饱含深情地忽悠了半天，而且两个娃写的基本没有重复的。。。
还需要show 给同伴。要show off 的多是帅哥男友或美女女友哈哈
知道俺给他弄yearbook senior baby ads，他表示：“This is so self centered, and completely unnecessary.”
俺还是弄了，不知道明年看了会咋样。
Mom is the last person we want to meet every weekends. 言外之意，美女girl第一位
大部分写东西都像你LD，很少有像古代那种信手拈来写东西就煽情的。但是美国文化确实喜欢煽情的多一点，从大学到career都这样，这点要多听你女儿的。
我说我们这个周末要去camping。她立即停止哭，眼睛亮了起来，说，哦，很好啊! 我现在反复想着这个镜头，体会到她也care about us。
拿天港的例子来讲，他的作为在我们父母来看是凝聚了父母18年来对孩子的爱，但在二娃看来是self centered and unnecessary, 这就是孩子真实的想法，问题是我们在知道二娃的想法之后是继续这么做来表达我们对他的爱还是尊重他的想法，不做了或下回不做了，做他希望我们做的事情。
这个事例也可以延伸到很多我们对孩子的要求，这些要求真的是他们愿意接受的吗？如果不愿意但他们还是做了，为了避免家长的push, 唠叨或为了让父母喜欢自己，for whatever reason ， 最后我们在孩子眼中不一定是一个爱孩子的形象，而可能是一个demanding, pushy 的家长形象，所以我们是要做我们认为的家长形象还是真的做孩子的朋友，真的很值得我们思考和反省的。
这种女孩子一起读信的场合，这是面子问题：）
如果孩子刚刚上大学她是很孤单的啊，去年我女儿也是因为不值得的小事情哭过。不要当严父吧，能在这样的情况下告诉孩子父母难忘她成长过程中的一些事情是多好的机会啊。
“I am so happy for you because you are happy there. ”也是我的感受，娃离开家真的是自由飞了