Once upon a time there was a tavern Where we used to raise a glass or two Remember how we laughed away the hours And dreamed of all the great things we would do
Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose For we were young and sure to have our way. La la la la...
Then the busy years went rushing by us We lost our starry notions on the way If by chance I'd see you in the tavern We'd smile at one another and we'd say
Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose Those were the days, oh yes those were the days La la la la...
Just tonight I stood before the tavern Nothing seemed the way it used to be In the glass I saw a strange reflection Was that lonely woman really me
Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose Those were the days, oh yes those were the days La la la la...
Through the door there came familiar laughter I saw your face and heard you call my name Oh my friend we're older but no wiser For in our hearts the dreams are still the same
Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose Those were the days, oh yes those were the days La la la la...
”you have questions about survival: Why do some people thrive in situations that others can't tolerate? Would I be able to survive and get on in the world on my own?“
活出自我？ 独乐乐， 众乐乐？
每个人的生活都是和家人， 朋友， 熟人和周围环境相互嵌入的。关系越亲密， 相互嵌入和相互渗透的就更深更广。 我们每个人每天也都在不停地调换角色： 妈妈， 妻子， 同事， 大厨， 清洁工， 。。。， 每人都是多元体。
活得精彩， 做好每个角色， 和身边人互动自如流畅愉快， 自己和外在的大环境和谐， 身心健康 愉快便是美好人生 。
早上听到一首歌， 很应景； THOSE WERE THE DAYS
歌词如下：
Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
La la la la...
Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
La la la la...
Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
La la la la...
做女儿，姐妹，同学，同事，妻子，母亲，等等家庭社会中的众多角色不矛盾，不冲突么？
坦白地说，我到现在，也不明白什么是活出自我的定义，也自然不知道怎么算活出自我。只知道做好某些角色，会牺牲其他。
别说都做好，就是怎么做取舍，做好哪些角色，然后不怨不悔，我都觉得难，很难。
人，活着，就是处理各种关系：人与人、人与社会、人与自然。
各种关系的确是互相嵌入、互相渗透的。就人与人之间的关系来说，每个个体生命都是家庭、个性、教育程度等等的产物，个体与个体之间是很难真正渗透的，真正互相理解的，所以，人的内心深处是孤独的。
现实人生不是孤岛，能选择的就是：尽量平衡各种关系和角色，这个平衡能力所需要的就是宽容的能力！
宽容别人，宽容世界，同时尽力去追求自已内心的愿望，让自己的内心有所寄托。
买漂亮衣服、打扮自已，读好的书、看好的电影、欣赏艺术…………，我沉浸其中，宁静快乐，这就是我的自我。
这个一个西方哲人的说法。 我没本事说出这样的话
一个完全脱离了社会的人，还是人么？
要生活在社会之中，在那张无所不在的网中，怎么定义自我？都过了半辈子了，反正我还没闹明白。
妈妈角色扮演的少了， 可能还有别的事情/人进入自己生活。。。
还有那么多人在职业妇女和主妇妈妈之间要做选择，不能两者兼而有之，至少不能两者都做到自己认为的极致。
30-50岁的女性，在职场强人和主妇，妈妈之间的角色那么自然就转换了？人们的纠结，都是无病呻吟？
他的父母也就这几年先后走的， 然后他觉得自己是孤儿了。
他有美满的小家庭，妻贤子聪， 但这不能替代跟父母的关系。 他觉得自己的一部分不再了。
"怎么定义自我？都过了半辈子了，反正我还没闹明白。" -- 同感
”you have questions about survival: Why do some people thrive in situations that others can't tolerate? Would I be able to survive and get on in the world on my own?“
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anderson_Cooper#Early_life_and_family
当然他的context 是他的哥哥自杀。 如果我泛泛引申一下：
When facing diffcult situations, why some people would break into a million pieces, while other people can inch along?
我的引申已经篡改我们讨论的scope。 有感而发， 拿来自勉。
再比如楼上广州美眉的问题，退休么？搬家么？在这个时刻，做儿子，做丈夫，做父亲的角色，哪个更定义自我？