【蓝绿第二次绑架】绿团 A fawn to a deer

妖妖灵
楼主 (文学城)

A fawn to a deer

Author:妖妖灵

Last summer,

she was a helpless lonely fawn,

hiding in the sun-dappled bushes,

with white spots covering her body

for camouflage.

Time flies. One and half years later,

Winter is here.

She becomes a brave deer,

dancing with her slend legs,

with the background music Jingle bells.

All the white spots that used to be on her back

become snow flakes flying in the joyful air. 

 

Revised version by renqiulan:表达更地道,非常感谢他:)

Last summer

she was a helpless lonely fawn,

hiding in the sunlight-dappled bushes,

with white spots covering her body

for camouflage.

Time flies. One and a half years later,

Winter is here.

She becomes a brave deer,

dancing with her slender legs

to the tune of Jingle bells in the background.

All the white spots on her back

are flying off as snowflakes in the joyful air.

 

移花接木:铲后综合征,post-shovel syndrome

https://bbs.wenxuecity.com/mysj/277978.html

Unexpected encounter 

https://bbs.wenxuecity.com/mysj/223667.html

视频制作:移花接木

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

r
renqiulan
I applaud your idea...

but you might want to smooth out the spelling and grammatical wrinkles.

妖妖灵
突然有了这个灵感,把它记录下来。又改了改,你帮我再看看语法问题?
r
renqiulan
I'll see what I can do. Here is my input:

Here is a revised version for your consideration:

A fawn to a deer

 

Last summer

she was a helpless lonely fawn,

hiding in the sunlight-dappled bushes,

with white spots covering her body

for camouflage.

Time flies. One and a half years later,

Winter is here.

She becomes a brave deer, 

dancing with her slender legs

to the tune of Jingle Bells in the background.

All the white spots on her back

are flying off as snowflakes in the joyful air.

 

 

 

 

妖妖灵
改得好极啦!非常非常感谢!:)
r
renqiulan
Thanks! You did strike the right chord with readers like me.
r
renqiulan
Pls check my input again.By all means make it right for you.
妖妖灵
I put your revised version in my main post! 也让大家参考学习!非常感谢!!
妖妖灵
好文章是改出来的!学到很多!第一步先写,然后一遍一遍去改!才能进步!你太厉害啦!
r
renqiulan
It is your idea. It is your creation. I am your reader.
妖妖灵
我为了记住你的改写,专门写的,反复对照几遍,终于把你的改写都写下来了:)
r
renqiulan
I think I have a typo in my input..

one and half years

should be

one and a half years

r
renqiulan
I think I have a typo in my input:

one and half years

should be

one and a half years

妖妖灵
谢谢!改了:)
r
renqiulan
Right on!
移花接木
baby is here

妖妖灵
找网管把那次活动中所有丢失的贴都找回了。你去看一看?还记得哪次活动吗?
梅雨潭
恭喜妖妖。首页进来,谢谢网管,【蓝绿第二次绑架】绿团 A fawn to a deer推荐成功
c
chuntianle
赞灵灵, 小鹿真可爱, 灵灵的诗歌很美。节日快乐。
妖妖灵
来到美坛才知道小鹿是fawn的