Just a few suggestions for your reference. They might not be correct :)
With the gentle breeze, (under) the white clouds, （or "With the gentle breeze and the white clouds". You need to have a word to connect breeze and clouds, otherwise, it doesn't make sense)
In the spring the seed eventually sprouts
Going through the darkest time,
Flying with all of (the) petals in the prime (or “Flying with all petals in the prime")
Like butterflies flattering (flutter) the wings (in the next verse, you use "sing", not "singing", so maybe you should use "flutter" here to keep consistent)
Just a few suggestions for your reference. They might not be correct :)
With the gentle breeze, (under) the white clouds, （or "With the gentle breeze and the white clouds". You need to have a word to connect breeze and clouds, otherwise, it doesn't make sense)
In the spring the seed eventually sprouts
Going through the darkest time,
Flying with all of (the) petals in the prime (or “Flying with all petals in the prime")
Like butterflies flattering (flutter) the wings (in the next verse, you use "sing", not "singing", so maybe you should use "flutter" here to keep consistent)
1) in the first verse, I got rid of the prepositional word, now there are just two noun phrases. then, it's ok without a transition word. And I also moved Spring to the first verse :)
2) In the second stanza, I reorganized the first two verses a bit to emphasize the two actions (fluttering and singing) but the rhyming is lost. To me it's worth it.
视频： Music Flowers 制作：前川
【In order to meet you】
Author：妖妖灵
With the gentle breeze, the white clouds,
In the spring the seed eventually sprouts
Going through the darkest time,
Flying with all of petals in the prime
Like butterflies flattering the wings
Like fully-fledged birds happily sing
Just in order to meet you today
Just in order to greet you today
欢迎建议和补充：）
虫虫修改后的版本：
【In order to meet you】
With the gentle breeze, under the white clouds,
In the spring the seed eventually sprouts
Going through the darkest time,
Flying with all petals in the prime
Like butterflies flutter the wings
Like fully-fledged birds happily sing
Just in order to meet you today
Just in order to greet you today
虫虫修改版本的细节见下：
妖妖的想象力真棒！好诗, 赞 来源: 甜虫虫 于 2022-10-20 14:39:19 [档案] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读： 5 次 (2598 bytes) 字体：调大/重置/调小 | 加入书签 | 打印 | 所有跟帖 | 加跟贴 | 当前最热讨论主题 回答: 【E诗配画】In order to meet you FlowersMusic 视频by前川 由 妖妖灵 于 2022-10-20 12:51:26Just a few suggestions for your reference. They might not be correct :)
With the gentle breeze, (under) the white clouds, （or "With the gentle breeze and the white clouds". You need to have a word to connect breeze and clouds, otherwise, it doesn't make sense)
In the spring the seed eventually sprouts
Going through the darkest time,
Flying with all of (the) petals in the prime (or “Flying with all petals in the prime")
Like butterflies flattering (flutter) the wings (in the next verse, you use "sing", not "singing", so maybe you should use "flutter" here to keep consistent)
Like fully-fledged birds happily sing
Just in order to meet you today
Just in order to greet you today
is the video a timelapse photography or animation?
timelapse 延时摄影是,
一种摄影技术技巧, 对一个物体或场景, 在一段时间内,拍多张照片,然后组合成一个视频, 象动画一般, 比如, 架好三脚架相机不动, 从日出一直拍到日落, 每隔半小时拍一张照片. 而不是连续拍视频.
还有,比如拍昙花开放的过程, 昙花从开放到熄灭大约个把小时, 从开到灭,每隔几分钟拍一张照片记录全过程, 最后做成视频.
animation是完全电脑动画.
诗最后两句如果变换一下用词, 可一把决心,变成期盼,另一种意景
Just get everything meet for today
Just in order to greet you someday
不过这样诗的名字也变了.
Just a few suggestions for your reference. They might not be correct :)
With the gentle breeze, (under) the white clouds, （or "With the gentle breeze and the white clouds". You need to have a word to connect breeze and clouds, otherwise, it doesn't make sense)
In the spring the seed eventually sprouts
Going through the darkest time,
Flying with all of (the) petals in the prime (or “Flying with all petals in the prime")
Like butterflies flattering (flutter) the wings (in the next verse, you use "sing", not "singing", so maybe you should use "flutter" here to keep consistent)
Like fully-fledged birds happily sing
Just in order to meet you today
Just in order to greet you today
【To Meet You】
Spring gentle breeze, white clouds
The seed eventually sprouts
Through the darkest time
Flying with all petals in the prime
Fluttering butterfly wings
Singing happily like birds
Just to meet you today
To greet you everyday
Note:
1) in the first verse, I got rid of the prepositional word, now there are just two noun phrases. then, it's ok without a transition word. And I also moved Spring to the first verse :)
2) In the second stanza, I reorganized the first two verses a bit to emphasize the two actions (fluttering and singing) but the rhyming is lost. To me it's worth it.
In the verse, to keep enough syllables. 你改的也很好。
The second stanza,
是为了表达the petals look like butterfly wings.
最后两句，为了表达：
只是为了今天遇到你（对应像蝴蝶扇着翅膀）
只是为了今天问候你 （对应像鸟儿歌唱）
哈哈，我是瞎写，如果哪天能写出歌就好了，在这是为了写英文歌词，我最后看怎么更适合旋律再决定：）
谢谢虫虫！ 多来多来！不知不觉中进步啊：）
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