※※※※※※※※※※※※ Ooh -ooh Hey yeah, mmh Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Once bitten and twice as shy I keep my distance But you still catch my eye Tell me, baby Do you recognize me? Well, it's been a year It doesn't surprise me Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it With a note saying, "I love you" I meant it Now, I know what a fool I've been But if you kiss me now I know you'd fool me again, whoa Last Christmas, I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away) This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special (special) Oh oh, last Christmas, I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) But the very next day you gave it away (you gave it away) This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special (special) Ooh-ooh Oh, ohh Hey, hey, hey A crowded room, friends with tired eyes I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice My god, I thought you were someone to rely on Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on A face on a lover with a fire in her heart A woman under cover but you tore me apart (ooh) And now, I've found a real love you'll never fool me again Oh, last Christmas, I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) But the very next day, you gave it away (oh, you gave it away) This year, to save me from tears I'm gon' give it to someone special (special) Last Christmas, I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away) This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special (special) A face on a lover with a fire in her heart (gave you my heart) A woman under cover but you tore me apart I'll give it to someone special (special) I'll give it to someone special Ooh Ohh, ohh I'll give it to someone special (special), mmh
感谢毛局百忙之中抽时间现学并录制了Last Christmas,我非常喜欢的一首圣诞歌曲。原唱是英国的双人组合威猛乐队,首发于1984。后来很多有名的歌手翻唱过,最近的就是毛局了!非常好听,要循环听。毛局出门度假旅行,我荣幸地代发歌曲,歌词很长,附在最后。或有人觉得不符规定,但要是耐心看完帖子你就安心了 :)
《游走在江湖的边缘——昏哥轶事》(结束篇)
(圣诞前夜的傍晚,时代广场霓虹灯闪烁,人来人往。巨大的电子屏幕上变换着各类鲜艳夺目的广告。优美动人的女声唱出:Last Christmas, I gave you my heart……)
【故事前情介绍:一山不容二虎,帅气的昏哥受到才貌双全的保安经理马克胡的排挤,失去了在一高级办公楼的保安职位。失意中的他无意间走到朋友阿兰开的美发厅。他告诉了阿兰他计划和室友熊师傅联手创业。熊师傅的境况比昏哥好不了多少,没有固定的工作,但一直怀有发财的美梦。他关注到北美有很多白富美,选择伴侣的要求极高,因此他嗅到了商机。他说服昏哥以其文才和阅人无数的经历人伙,建立一个半虚拟半真实的婚恋网站。正寻找投资机会的阿兰决定入股。因为疫情影响,生意不利的灯具厂老板瓜总也在熊师傅和昏哥的劝说下成为网站的最大股东。瓜总邀请大家圣诞前夜晚八点整在蜀风食府聚餐庆祝婚恋网站5201314成功上线,结果熊师傅晚了半个小时才到,昏哥竟没有现身……part 1,2,3,4,5,6(上)】
(接上篇)……
“唉!说来话长,昏哥去相亲约会去了。” 熊师傅一屁股坐椅子上,咧嘴苦笑了一下。“和什么人约会呀,怎么回事儿啊?“阿兰在一旁瞪大了眼睛,觉得很好奇。通常这样的好事儿昏哥事先就广播出去了,从来都不背人。“和我们网站的一个会员啊!”熊师傅还是不紧不慢,从随身的包里拿出一个笔记本电脑,摊放桌子上,打开屏幕。
公司的网页上显示出几个美女和俊男的头像。阿兰忙问,“为什么我手机上看到的头像都是半模糊的,怎么你的这么清晰呢?”
“我有网管权限,我当然什么都能看到。你所看到的都是用AI算法处理过的,加强了轮廓线条感,用高斯噪声模糊了细节。如果是正式会员登陆,看到的也是这样清晰的原照了。这也是我们的营销策略了,目的就是刺激人的好奇心,鼓励付费加入会员。”熊师傅说得很得意。
阿兰听得似懂非懂,“那昏哥是和哪个人去相亲了呢?”阿兰还是最好奇这事儿。熊师傅熟练地在网页上点击了几下,打开了一个人的资料网页。屏幕上显示出一个白皙的美女,丹凤眼,一口洁白整齐的牙齿。下面的描述是:名校毕业,暂时帮忙打理家族企业海外业务。不喜欢家务,也不会做饭,但擅长琴棋书画,作词作曲唱歌。阿兰心想,这个除了漂亮,有点儿不食人间烟火吧?但旁边也在探头细看屏幕的瓜总似乎看法不同,他转脸不高兴地对熊师傅说:“这么优秀的女生,你为什么不先告诉我?不是说好有特别的先让我知道吗?”瓜总声音有些升高,走调。新张的公司除了烧钱太快,所有的美女都是昏哥和熊师傅先知道,这是瓜总最大的两个心结,后一个他还有口难言。但嗅觉灵敏的熊师傅早早就看到了问题,他委婉地跟瓜总保证说,见到了特别出色的会员,不论男女,一定会通报董事长,因为优秀的会员毕竟也属于公司的资源了。果然瓜总听了之后心情舒畅了好多。
现在熊师傅终于听到瓜总第一次公开抱怨,他笑着看了瓜总一眼,慢条斯理地说:“瓜总您息怒。这个人并不存着,是虚拟的。”
“假的?那昏哥又是去和谁约会了呢?”旁边的阿兰迷惑不解,瞪着大眼睛看着师傅。
熊师傅解释说是他几天前想完整地测试一下系统,借用这个虚拟美女的ID给一个虚拟的男生发了一个信息。昏哥果然按照设置截获到信息,并且很专业地冒名回了信。几个来回之后,“美女”说非常喜欢对方的温柔、幽默和体贴,希望能见个面,确立关系。昏哥静默了整整有36个小时,最后终于在深夜里发了个回话儿,说很不凑巧,公司刚被硅谷一家公司收购了,曼哈顿的办公室要关门了。正巧家里在旧金山有一栋大房子要转到他名下,他也要搬去打理,所以暂时先不考虑个人问题了。“美女”回信表示祝贺也深表遗憾,但说很能理解并感谢告知。
“你看,这一切都是按照我们设计的流程,走得天衣无缝的!”熊师傅摊开手掌指着电脑屏幕说。
“哼!我听明白了,是你扮美女,然后和昏哥隔着一堵墙互送肉麻的情书了!”瓜总用力摇着头,一脸不屑,“你俩真恶心!那后来呢?”
“就在我要出门来这里的时候,昏哥突然通过系统又给“美女”发了个信息,说他过两天就要飞旧金山了,行前非常渴望能见上一面。说能当面告别,也不枉难得的缘分,不然怕彼此都留下终身的遗憾。我一看昏哥节外生枝,心里火冒三丈!我们早就强调了,无论如果也不能和会员见面的!我替美女回信说很不凑巧,也要去国外度假了,只有今晚八点有空。可万万也没想到,昏哥这小子居然一口答应说他可以!我一赌气就把他安排去中央公园了。我说在溜冰场见,要他拿一束黄玫瑰,不见不散。我听他急匆匆地出了门,跑楼梯还差点儿摔了个跟头,我就来这儿了。”
阿兰旁边听完还是有些糊涂,一把拉过电脑:“让我看看,到底哪些是真人啊?不是说只虚拟一些男生吗?”
熊师傅说:“当然男女都要有的!我们网站一上线就要让人看到是正规的,男女用户都已经很多了!别的网站也都是类似的做法,夸大用户数量,点击率注水。这些都是互联网行业的标准作法啊!”
阿兰不关心那么多技术上的细节,她依次点开了几个图片,吃惊地说:“这人我知道啊,叫唐唐!哎呀,还有阿美……梦梦……水水……毛毛!这个也好面熟,是西西!也有桐桐!你这都是从哪里找来的美女照片啊?"
“个别的是我在网上闲逛时找来的,大部分是会员申请时自己上传的!自从我们上个星期推出了半年免费优惠,突然注册进来了好多的男男女女,我还没来得及仔细看呢!”师傅又呲牙露出了得意的笑容。
阿兰常去一个叫文学城的网站,几次注册都失败了,只好潜水听别人唱歌,但也慢慢熟悉了那个网站上活跃的人。现在很意外这些人竟然这么快就成了自家网站的注册会员了,看来师傅的网站还真比文学城好用多了。她又好奇地点开了几个看着非常帅气的男生。“性格沉稳,爱干家务,偶尔唱唱快歌,无其他不良嗜好。这个听上去很靠谱呢!”阿兰自言自语道。“哇,这还有一个曾师从歌星屠某刚的北京人,摇滚民谣都擅长,英俊少年啊!……哟,这一个帅得还有头衔呢,美男比赛冠军!喜欢踢足球……这里又是个高富帅!腿长一米八,大公司保安主管,会吉他,口琴,身体健康,喜欢走路,每天八英里,天呐!”阿兰一惊一乍地边看边描述,仿佛她是电视里的体育解说。
瓜总对这些分不清真假的人已经失去了兴趣,看饭菜已经陆续上桌,就摆摆手让熊师傅把电脑收起来,招呼大家吃饭。他叫华老板给大家开了一瓶陈年五粮液。三个人碰杯,祝贺公司的成功上线,也互祝圣诞和新年快乐。熊师傅还不合时宜地加了一句:“祝昏哥桃花好运!”
几杯酒之后,熊师傅的话又变多起来。他举着筷子比划着说:“你们不要担心现在还没有用户的一分钱进来,那些大公司谷歌、亚马逊,脸书,哪个不是一开始都好多年不赚钱的?看看现在,股票都翻了不知有多少倍了?今天你们担心的是钱不够花,将来你们这些原始股东就会有新的忧愁了,不知道钱要花在什么慈善事业上了!”
阿兰用敬佩的目光看着熊师傅,心想以前还真是看错了,这个熊师傅可比能说会道的昏哥靠谱多了。等将来有钱了,先要把那个文学城买下来,注册他十个八个马甲!也要自己当网管,蒙面活动再也不会一头雾水了。也顺便看看那些马甲背后是否有什么暗藏的秘密!
大家边吃边聊过去一年的快乐和失望,也期待明年国内的疫情能尘埃落定,终于能回去看看家乡的亲人。瓜总说他很怀念家乡的咸鱼饭,阿兰说她想吃煎饼果子了,熊师傅说他家乡这个季节最适合吃杀猪菜,但最想念的是母亲烧的家常菜。“马上就要春节了,母亲却说千万别现在回去!她已经自我封闭在家里了,不敢出门。刚刚不久前她还说被封在家里不让出门!如果夏天能回去看看,已经是整整四年没见到家人了!唉,人生这么短,这一晃就是四年啊!”说着说着熊师傅的眼圈都红了。
没有留意之中店里的其他客人慢慢地散去了,时钟的指针也快接近午夜了。熊师傅全身放松懒散地坐在椅子里,用手揉了揉滚圆的肚子。阿兰拆开了所有的幸运饼,读了里面不痛不痒的字条,觉得没有一个值得念出来的。瓜总打着响嗝从钱包里拿出了几个大票要结账。“呼啦”一声大门拉开,打破了安静,大跨步进来的正是昏哥。
昏哥似乎有一点点的尴尬快步地走了过来。他疲惫的脸冻得红彤彤的,湿漉漉的头发贴在大大的额头上,不知道挂满的是汗水,还是融化了的雪水。脖子上很显眼地扎着一条崭新的驼色博柏利条格围巾,上面还留着些雪花。阿兰一眼就认出围巾是昏哥不久前黑五打折时买的,自己还帮他挑选了颜色。他当时还说要对自己好点儿了。
但昏哥身上最夺目的是怀里抱着的超大一束鲜艳的黄玫瑰。看他狼狈又有些滑稽的样子,阿兰强忍住笑,故作平静地问,“我们这儿都要撤了,你怎么这么晚才来啊?”
“我特意给你们买花儿去了。”昏哥毫无犹豫。
(剧终,影片定格餐馆画面,拉远。曼哈顿的街道,雪花飞舞。滚动字幕打出演职员表,Last Christmas 歌声再起…… )
祝朋友们圣诞快乐!感谢你们的支持和鼓励,感恩有你们在虚拟空间的陪伴!希望这篇小文能为你们的节日增添一点点的快乐!
※※※※※※※※※※※※ Ooh -ooh Hey yeah, mmh Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Once bitten and twice as shy I keep my distance But you still catch my eye Tell me, baby Do you recognize me? Well, it's been a year It doesn't surprise me Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it With a note saying, "I love you" I meant it Now, I know what a fool I've been But if you kiss me now I know you'd fool me again, whoa Last Christmas, I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away) This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special (special) Oh oh, last Christmas, I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) But the very next day you gave it away (you gave it away) This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special (special) Ooh-ooh Oh, ohh Hey, hey, hey A crowded room, friends with tired eyes I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice My god, I thought you were someone to rely on Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on A face on a lover with a fire in her heart A woman under cover but you tore me apart (ooh) And now, I've found a real love you'll never fool me again Oh, last Christmas, I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) But the very next day, you gave it away (oh, you gave it away) This year, to save me from tears I'm gon' give it to someone special (special) Last Christmas, I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away) This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special (special) A face on a lover with a fire in her heart (gave you my heart) A woman under cover but you tore me apart I'll give it to someone special (special) I'll give it to someone special Ooh Ohh, ohh I'll give it to someone special (special), mmh我也想知道那些马甲背后是否有什么暗藏的秘密
说个搞笑的,刚才想打财源滚滚,结果打错了一个声母,出来成了:裁员混混。。。
确实是一无所有,也不怕“露富”
好高兴你第一个给我打招呼
中央公园溜冰场偶遇并一见钟情的阿链或阿翠呢。
中断戒网上来再赞好帖。祝各位朋友圣诞快乐。
了。。。
但,师傅的大作让我笑了个够值回票价,觉得在家窝着也挺好
圣诞快乐!!!
弄不好就动真格的了。
伤感的清晰非常温暖,就是这样藏起来,不应该:))
话说,最近看了一个电影《last Christmas》,还蛮好看,看到最后才旷然大悟。
被笼罩,被驾驭,被征服
真心期待着师傅开新篇!一定会更加精彩~~~
我们有师傅陪着我们玩,好荣幸~!!
祝才华横溢的大熊猫新年快乐!