试译 Because I could not stop for Death

j
jianshen
楼主 (文学城)

因为我无法为死神止步
艾米莉·迪金森
试译:jianshen

因为我无法为死神止步
他于是友善地为我伫足
马车只载着我俩
和永生

我们缓缓而行 —— 他不急着赶路
我因此抛开
劳作和闲暇
回应他的礼遇

我们驶过学校,那里正是课间休息
孩童们在操场上嬉闹
我们驶过田野,麦穗抬头凝视
我们驶过落日

抑或 —— 落日途经我们
寒露袭来,我瑟瑟发抖
因为我身着蛛丝般的长袍
我的披肩薄如轻纱 

我们在一座屋前停下
那屋子看似鼓起的地面
屋顶模模糊糊
屋檐埋在地下 

自那时,几个世纪已过
却仿佛比一天还短
我一开始就预料,死神之车的马头
朝向永恒

Because I could not stop for Death
by Emily Dickinson

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –
We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed Us –
The Dews drew quivering and Chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity –

尘凡无忧
沙发。欢迎新朋友。。。:)
尘凡无忧
赞美译。:)这首诗的最后一段,我赞同忒绿的理解。。。
忒忒绿
第三个HE是落日,理解独特,very interesting
j
jianshen
代词指代前面的名词,所以第四段 He指 the Setting Sun。这段指落日之后的暗夜,暗喻死亡濒临。
j
jianshen
而第一段He 指Death, 因"He" is right after "Death"
j
jianshen
多谢版主!我固执己见,因最后一段是回应第一段与死神初遇。Eternity 对应 Immortality。
n
nearby
翻译得很妙!小k、冯兄、王兄、绿绿,都请快来欣赏评论,你们是专家
n
nearby
+2
n
nearby
解释得也很好
n
nearby
+2
j
jianshen
多谢版主鼓励!版主们辛苦了。
n
nearby
希望常来发帖
尘凡无忧
厉害,没上论坛首页就这么多点击了。。。:)
甜虫虫
翻译得很棒!同意你对he 的理解,赞!
j
jianshen
I appreciate your "sweet" encouragement! 并谢二位版主楼上留言。
E
EuphoriaF
赞!可能你对原句的理解最为准确,中间he指落日最make sense, totally agree最后一段(倒2段坟冢

暗示人生的马车已经到达最后一站:永恒。最后一段已经在永恒(埋地里几个世纪如同一天)。

j
jianshen
谢鼓励,不敢当。解得好!马车里一直有永生相伴The ending ties back to the beginning