【唐诗英译】A poem written at a fall night for hermit Qiu《秋夜寄邱员外》

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WXCTEATIME
楼主 (文学峸)

《秋夜寄邱员外》

韦应物

怀君属秋夜,
散步咏凉天。
空山松子落,
幽人应未眠。

《A poem written at a fall night for hermit Qiu 》

Author: Wei, Yingwu [Tang Dynasty]

I was missing you at a fall night when
strolling and enjoying the cool weather.
Occasionally dropped pine cones broke the silence in the mountain,
you might hear it as you stayed awake.

————————————————————

附许渊冲及文学城网友们的翻译版本:

许渊冲的翻译版本:

To a hermit on an autumn night
Wei YingWu

Strolling when autumn night is still,
I think of you and softly sing.
As pine cones fall in empty hill,
Hermit, you must be listening.

慢兔的翻译版本:

An Autumn night like this makes me think of you

As I walk and sense the coolness of the air.

The sound of falling pine cones echoes in the mount.

What keeps you awake at the hour this late?


美国王过人的翻译版本:

To Hermit Qiu on an Autumnal Night

On such an autumnal night, I can not help missing you so badly.
Chanting about the desolate weather, I stroll around to and fro.
In the ethereal mountain, pine cones are falling randomly.
Alas! Hermit Qiu, my dear friend, you must be sleepless like me also.


ibelieu翻译的版本:

Thinking of you this autumn night happens to find me,

While strolling and crooning a poem about the chilliness.

Heard falling in deserted mountains pine cones can be,

This, I guess, must be causing our hermit to be sleepless.

东风再起翻译的:

Echoes are heard, among this deep mountain, of pine cones falling.

Alone and secluded, you must also be up, and listening.

Kirn翻译的:

Missing you at the autum night

Wondering upon cooling light

Empty mountain sees falling pine-cone bright

She stays sleepless tight

Leappad 翻译的:

Dropping pine cones into the depth of the mountain

Alone being there shall someone not falling in asleep

 

 

 

l
lovecat08
都不错!各有各的风味啊!
l
lovecat08
加上leappad的,看里面。。。。。。。。。

Dropping pine cones into the depth of the mountain

Alone being there shall someone not falling in asleep

W
WXCTEATIME
对的,各有特色,所以唐诗翻译也难也易:)
l
lovecat08
加上kirn 的,在里面。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Missing you at the autum night

Wondering upon cooling light

Empty mountain sees falling pine-cone bright

She stays sleepless tight

 

W
WXCTEATIME
只有两句吗?我想收录完整的翻译比较好一些,这也是没把东风兄的版本加进去的原因,望各位谅解:)
W
WXCTEATIME
she?还是he ?:)
l
lovecat08
比英文,也比对唐诗瞭解的,有多深?
l
lovecat08
加吧!重点在后两句的“功力” !
W
WXCTEATIME
放在一起比较,水平提升会更快:)
W
WXCTEATIME
累死我了:)
l
lovecat08
原味,she,让大家评,谁最用英文好,到深入。。。。。。。
l
lovecat08
写的才子,才女们,容你们可改原创更好,交给茶爷,放一起,收集,好比较!
鲁冰花
看了第三句马上想到“月出惊山鸟”,不知什么联系
l
lovecat08
多谢茶爷,费心了,好玩,网上兰亭序,哈!
l
lovecat08
意境,很大不同!
W
WXCTEATIME
我想到了王维的: 人闲桂花落,鸟鸣山更幽。
W
WXCTEATIME
没关系了。喊我茶就好:)
鲁冰花
串门去了。是“人闲桂花落,夜静春山空”,同是万籁俱寂,才能听到松子落地的声音
l
lovecat08
这诗妙在,空山(静)松子落(动)。静中才听得动声。猜,知己的睡否?友情的深挂思念。。。。。。。
l
lovecat08
好诗,古人真闲,桂花是闻的,这来了个“见”,对啊!要静,才感觉到山空。。。。。
W
WXCTEATIME
露馅了,:)谢谢指正。
浮云驰
总结的好!确实各有千秋,松子打破寂静字面后的意思也说了,后面几位韵脚押的妙
l
leappad
四句都译了

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四句全译,押韵的不够

怀君属秋夜

散步咏凉天

空山松子落

幽人应未眠

having you in my mind at this autumn night
wandering off, chanting cold moment  in my lyric
pine cones dropping into the depth of the mountain

Alone being there shall you not falling in sound asleep

k
kirn
哈哈,昨天读题不细,解题错误,我以为老韦是在怀春。改了改了---伯牙子期版

 伯牙子期版

Missing you at the autumn night 
Wondering upon cooling light 
Falling pine-cone keeps empty mountain quite

Who stays upright tonight?

怀春版

Missing you at the autumn night 

Wondering upon cooling light 

Empty mountain sees falling pine-cone bright 

She stays sleepless tight 

我对诗歌的理解非常狭隘-----没有韵脚,无以成歌。所以诗歌追求韵律是我的迷信教条

a
applebee3
茶兄这个帖子厉害,丰富充实!谢谢大家的创作!
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WXCTEATIME
添加了新增的版本,谢谢以上各位,不一一回复了:)
E
EuphoriaF
这样朴实的译法,很match诗中朴实的情感
糯米粥
看到这里,肚子都要笑痛了!
糯米粥
猫猫这是从哪个宫斗宅斗片出来的?“茶爷”给我的第一印象就是有俩丫头在给这位爷磨墨打扇呢
慢兔
赏读大家的译作,各有理解,各有千秋
n
nearby
茶兄有心!赞
C
CBA7
Beautiful, especially the last two sentences of yours!