柳宗元五绝《江雪》英文版

忒忒绿
楼主 (文学峸)

《江雪》
The River and the Snow


作者:柳宗元 (唐代)
By Liu Zong-Yuan

翻译:忒绿
Translated by Tweeting Green


千山鸟飞绝
Left all the mountains around empty all birds flew away,

万径人踪灭。
And none and nobody could be sighted on each pathway. 

孤舟蓑笠翁,
Only a whitebeard in a straw raincoat sits on a lone boat,

独钓寒江雪。
Fishing alone amid the river on this chilly and snowy day.



 

忒忒绿
亲们,新一周愉快!
欲借嵯峨
这个得大赞!记得儿子高中学莎士比亚,我让他用fancy英文给翻译一下李白“ 静夜思”

我说你三岁时就会背这首诗了!儿子说爸爸,我连自己的中文名字都写不出来,你让我理解中国古代诗词的意境?Mission Impossible:)

忒忒绿
哈哈,欲哥真逗;)你幽默聪明,儿子更是青出于蓝而胜于蓝阿
b
beautifulwind
习惯性地找播放器,没找到,嘎嘎:)喜欢这个韵脚,第三句故意不在韵上,造成一种张力,让第四句有完美的结局:)
忒忒绿
非常欣赏你的nostalgia思乡吉他演奏
忒忒绿
小主好!习惯成自然了;)
忒忒绿
好久没有时间翻译诗词了,今儿抽空整了一首,供同学们批评挑错!就这个韵脚是在几个版本之后才最后形成的,老费劲了:),谢谢
忒忒绿
谢谢凤儿的欣赏水平这么令人惊艳!;)
忒忒绿
第三句碰巧有个内韵,增强了吟诵的旋律,嘎嘎:))
b
beautifulwind
真的吗?没听见,读出来!
b
beautifulwind
主要是因为近朱者赤嘛:)我在读新概念4的第8课,自己听得都错误百出,争取今天录出能见人的版本:)
b
beautifulwind
你翻译就成啦!
忒忒绿
哈哈哈,小主就是严于律己宽以待人啊,甭打自己戒尺哦;)))
忒忒绿
默诵:)
忒忒绿
是呀
H
Ha65494
翻译得很到位,原诗的意境都出来了。
天山晨
绿兄好译!意境到位!我随性跟译一下,好俗好直白哈

No bird is flying around the thousands mountains
No body is appearing on any of the countless trails
Only one senior with strawcoat is sitting on a lone boat
and fishing alone in one of the freezing and snowy rivers

忒忒绿
哈美好!谢谢来读诗,谢谢鼓励
忒忒绿
天山兄译文棒棒哒!理解准确、意境到位,大赞!!
忒忒绿
多提宝贵意见是盼:)
青松站
情懷^小绿^^

好像,好像再听到这些钢琴曲子的感觉^^

天山晨
不敢不敢,我刚才为了雅韵,搞出one of rivers了,仔细想想也蛮合理,视野里既然能看到千山,所以一定能看到万水!
移花接木
bird vanished, human trace was annihilated是不是更有毛骨悚然的意境

bird vanished, human trace was annihilated是不是更有毛骨悚然的意境 

忒忒绿
感谢松松!非常喜欢里查德·克莱德曼的钢琴曲,记得他的第一个盒带在大陆出来的时候,就买来听,很美好。谢谢在这里跟帖分享,可以边听钢
忒忒绿
花帅这忒棒了,算是第六绝,绝灭的意境体现更加震撼,看来基本都冻S了;),寒江之意也出来了,赞!
忒忒绿
琴边读诗了,赞!
青松站
是恐怖而不是安宁^^

也給移花一个^,

小绿,移花可能听过央视上,

网上《寒江雪》,古风中文歌,

我等会儿加进来^^

忒忒绿
哈哈哈,是花帅的恐怖片;)
青松站
Here is,what might be a spin-off of the original poem,,,^

A spin - off ,

very likely^^

忒忒绿
这么棒的周边衍生品,忒应景了,忒好听了!松松真是见多识广博学多识,沾手就来,感谢分享,大赞!
天山晨
太狠了,有点像译九阴真经
忒忒绿
也喜欢日本做的这个钢琴合辑,赞!
陶陶三
来个单词简单的:-)

Everywhere is covered with snow

All mountains without a bird show

Nobody in sight on any trails and roads

On an icy river sit a lonely boat

An older man with a straw raincoat

is fishing alone

 

 

 

 

 

忒忒绿
好译,大赞!
忒忒绿
谁来翻译一下题目?
青松站
Little Green-:)). .

River Snow, -:)),

Seems  to be a popular  choice on line..-:)).....

 

 

忒忒绿
That is funny;)
忒忒绿
I changed it into Snowy River. Any better ideas?
青松站
River Snow does seem to highlight the focus on

The snow, 

Overall, the focus does seem to be on the aftermath of the snow,,

I probably wiIl stick with River Snow,

River Snow,

River Snow,:) )

The beloved for the poet in -exile ,

It covered the tracks,kept the birds,and everyone else from entering this perfect, 

Heaven-sent sanctuary for the poet,....

忒忒绿
Thank you for deliberating on the title.
忒忒绿
There was a English poem titled The Man From Snowy River by Banj
忒忒绿
Banjo Paterson. A TV show was based on the poem.
忒忒绿
I feel like that snowy river addresses the river, a frigid river
青松站
A secluded sanctuary :)),If we put the focus on the " nouns ",

put the focus back to the poet himself,

like an oil - painting to the English readers,

they will then notice that everything about the surroundings,

is actually a reflection of his mental state,

serene,at peace,

one completly at ease with nature,, ( po et himself is the key ).........: )).........

忒忒绿
You gave me a reasonable explanation. Thank you.
忒忒绿
棒棒哒!把我们的讨论总结一下就是:诗的意境突出了两个字,冷、寂,冷生的寂。谢谢松松!
甜虫虫
Beautiful poem and a nice translation! Thumps up :)
甜虫虫
River Snow is a good title for it.
甜虫虫
I agree with what Songsong said here. :)
青松站
Thank u love,^ Little Green stays close to the core as well,^

as for my version,

I  used to. grow up near the West Lake,

poets,hermits, all left their tracks around  the area,

monasteries & site dotted the lake area,,

Little Green & all of us took  a trip back in time,

^ ^

my beloved West Lake^ ^, 

Regards to u & ur family ^_-,

Stay Safe &Take Care ^ ^, 

Just got this from the ktV forum tonight ^ ^, 

by -- 一荷^^^

甜虫虫
Thank you! You too have a good night!

You grew up near the West Lake? Nice! I love the West Lake! My hometown is not too far away from Hang Zhou either. :)

一荷 did a very nice rendition of the song. She has a beautiful voice. Thanks for sharing!

忒忒绿
Hi, Chong Chong, thanks to you for the generous praise. I know y
忒忒绿
you never failed to encourage me, but I like it.
青松站
A Wiseman-:).-little green--:)),check out the heart that

The heart that revealed in this version of translation-:))_ so wise &faithful-:))_-

Your translation-your version-is more

On the dynamic side of the poem as compared to his-:))..

Him-a wiseman of a poet-:_)-,Still water-like-,that runs deep-

You-,an energetic young man--swiral of energy--:)).

树的花花世界
没有大诗人的工整,被我弄成打油诗了,求斧正。怎么才能用英文表达古诗中留白的精妙呢?

千山鸟飞绝
No trace of flying bird to be spotted in deadly silent moutains 

万径人踪灭。
No footprint of living human to be seen on any pathway

孤舟蓑笠翁,
A oldman with a bamboo raincoat on sits in a canoe 

独钓寒江雪。
Fishing alone on the freezing river in a snowy day 

忒忒绿
花花好!译文非常精美了,如果第一句押上ay的韵脚就perfect了,大赞!
M
Marauders
This is fun

Mountain after mountain, no bird flying Path following path, no man treading A single dingy, a lone angler, straw cloak donning Alone on snow flurry river, fishing
树的花花世界
我偷个懒,用any pathways, 算和mountains 押上韵了吗?
树的花花世界
我是在大诗人的启发带领下,才开始试翻古诗的。对押韵这件事,完全没概念,求指教。
盈盈一笑间
赞忒绿诗人。还不到周五,就在版上掀起了翻译一首诗的活动。等有空,我也来玩玩。哈哈
天边一片白云
坐到地下室向名位学习观摩,这样的互相学习切磋太好玩了,我等看官又有福了。谢绿诗人掀起的又一高潮。

什么叫内韵?

忒忒绿
关于押韵一两句话说不清楚,以后另立题细说吧
忒忒绿
很别致,因别致而惊艳!需稍加工一下会是一个很好的翻译。
忒忒绿
盈盈好,你的译文呢?等着呢;)
忒忒绿
白云好,谢谢来读诗会。我也是一样跟大家相互学习。关于尾韵和内韵,花花也问同样的问题,一句话说不清楚,以后抽空再共同讨论。
忒忒绿
I was finally convinced by Song and Chong Chong, and decided to
忒忒绿
set the title as River Snow. Thanks to Song and Chong!
忒忒绿
A noun modified a noun made a phrase, metaphorically referring t
忒忒绿
the coldness as well as the silence.
M
Marauders
哈哈,好,那就麻烦你加工一下
忒忒绿
好的,给我些时间。我曾经写过一个用ing押韵的版本,没成功;)
忒忒绿
见内,

River Snow 

From hill to hill, no bird flying
From path to path, no man treading 
An old angler in a straw cloak, on a lone boat 
Alone on chilly and snowy river, fishing

压尾韵-ing,形式aaba,与原文一样在第一、二和第四句押韵。

音节格式 8/8/12/12。

第一次尝试全部使用名词短语结构,省略谓语动词。

b
beautifulwind
恭喜忒绿。首页进来,谢谢网管,柳宗元五绝《江雪》英文版 推荐成功
忒忒绿
谢谢小主和网管!
忒忒绿
不好意思,又占用名额。
L
LYJiang
You caught the mood, leaving something to the imagination.