My lg is terrible on games. Whenever he got something new, I beat him (I'm terrible too, but still better than him) quickly. Then he lost interest in the game forever.
Thank you. Yes, I admit I am suffering from the tension. The main reason, I think, is that I don't trust my lg's ability of mediating between the two parties.
They are really good parents, having taken very good care of my lg. But I am raised to be a very independent person. I don't mind being bossed around as long as I think the "boss" is in charge. But I can not back of if the issue is related to my kids. In my mind being a mom is my right and responsibility.
Here the problem emerges. My father-in-law is very used to directing his son how to live. And the way my lg acts against his parent's opinion is to say yes but do the opposite. I don't think this will work if all of us live together and the direction is related to my kids.
Frankly speaking, I don't want this "help". I did not ask for this help. Only my lg wants it and my parents-in-law want to help us. So from my point of view, I am doing the favor instead of accepting one.
1. Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to mothing 2. Don't die with your music still in you 3. You can't give away what you don't have 4. Embrace silence 5. Give up your personal history 6. You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it 7. There are no justified resentments 8. Treat yourself as if you already are what you'd like to be 9. Treasure your divinity 10. Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weakens you
I think that it's cruel not letting a son enjoy some living-together time with his parents...
For your problem, simple:
1. It's all about negotiation. What you can let them act on the children, what you cannot. For example, it should be fine if they want to bring cheap books/things for the child than expensive ones, or complaining something is too expensive. Don't take those words as a sword, it's simply how they survived their life. 'Honor the culture'. :P You still do what you like, and handle everything calmly.
2. If your husband's technique works on his parents, why cannot you use it? If you expect them to be flexible, you'd better be a bit felexible yourself first. :)
3. Love is the remedy. You need to understand them and give them the love they want. Take care of them the way they enjoyed.
The way they want may not be the way you want. What to do next?
But, isn't it also cruel to force someone to live with other parties that she is pretty sure to have conflicts with?
I did not know the real problem. I was a bit too worried--she seemed so bothered all the time. But I can see that she's very clear what to do now. Well, maybe my negative 'help/hurt' helped in a strange way? BTW it seems to me now what bother WinterSun most is her hubby's attitude, not her gp. Once she get it solved (looks very promising to me), she'll be very fine. She's very capable on handling relatives.
I think that it's cruel not letting a son enjoy some living-together time with his parents...
That is why I am doing the favor. But for me to enjoy this kind of family time needs efforts from all three parties. It is also cruel to be commanded on how to raise your own kids.
For your problem, simple:
1. It's all about negotiation. What you can let them act on the children, what you cannot. For example, it should be fine if they want to bring cheap books/things for the child than expensive ones, or complaining something is too expensive. Don't take those words as a sword, it's simply how they survived their life. 'Honor the culture'. :P You still do what you like, and handle everything calmly.
I can negotiate and honor others' culture. But such kind of job is really not a favor to appreciate.
2. If your husband's technique works on his parents, why cannot you use it? If you expect them to be flexible, you'd better be a bit felexible yourself first. :)
The ocean + phone played tricks. That is why the old way worked. Now I will lost the ocean. To be commanded to feed honey to a newborn? Sorry, here is where my firm boundary lies. If my lg still nods, I definitely would stand out to say "NO!"
千万不要给1岁以前的孩子喂蜂蜜！！！！！！
3. Love is the remedy. You need to understand them and give them the love they want. Take care of them the way they enjoyed.
I don't think I will treat them with no respect.
4. Concord is very good on all these issues! In my case, all parties are good-will and warmhearted. As you said, I really have no base to teach my parents-in-law how to behave.
My lg is terrible on games. Whenever he got something new, I beat him (I'm terrible too, but still better than him) quickly. Then he lost interest in the game forever.
remind me of the stupid high school english text: 老婆卖了头发给劳工的gold watch买个链条啥的，劳工卖了表给老婆的头发买了个梳子什么的。当时就bs这个故事觉得是俩天生一对天下头号傻子 我想起另一个故事，一对老夫妇，一个爱吃鱼头，于是一辈子给另一位夹鱼头吃。另一个爱吃鱼尾，于是一辈子给对方夹鱼尾吃。合着他们一辈子都吃自己不喜欢吃的东西，问一句就那么难吗？
I also try to seduce my hubby to grow with me. I told him what I learned, what I thought; then he might agree, or disagree. I would not argue--it's important for us to express the ideas. Then he knows me better and I know him better. Very helpful on solving conflicts. In fact, I also learned what argument does not work on him, what does.
我多尝试吧。。要说，我现在express idea then work out的经验也不少，但心里还是觉得简单地express idea（i.e.不够激烈/严肃/一本正经）只会被人shrugged off...
大家都没意见，那我就来figure时间地点了 ～～
re！
My lg is terrible on games. Whenever he got something new, I beat him (I'm terrible too, but still better than him) quickly. Then he lost interest in the game forever.
我老公新游戏上手非常快，我老被他打的一败涂地
没明白，这样就觉得对男人宽容女人要求高了？
因为大家没有评论男方，我就情感上感觉大家认为男方不需要改进orz
前面的同意。
黄字部分，有，真的有。男的不挣多少钱，有三个女的。重婚罪暴露之后，三个女的都争相说他好，好得不得了。三个女的都是倒贴钱养这个男的。
段正淳
或者说比段正淳段数还高
好像是我的一贯做法？对自己的判断和标准不确定，随时准备听取外界意见、承认错误、改进，或者说，如果外界不明确反馈给我“你有道理”，那我就默认自己没道理，就要改，同时情感上可能还没通，就要纠结分裂。
尤其是和其他人有分歧的时候，有另外的标准系统摆在眼前，外界如果只评论我、不评论对方，我就默认对方是对的、无懈可击的vs我是错的、有漏洞的，我得向对方学习
很奇怪。
我的一贯做法是，这个是我想的，我表达清楚了没有？如果你没有误解我的意思，好吧，能告诉我你怎么想吗？
然后一直问到我没有误解对方的意思；最后两个人一起找解决问题的方法。
好像我们的默认是两个人都有道理，就是经验和理解不一样，所以要沟通。
因为大家没有评论男方，我就情感上感觉大家认为男方不需要改进orz
明白了
男人的问题让他们自己解决
我们解决我们的
我们评论男人与否，和男人自己改不改进好像没有逻辑关系
还不错。看来我眼神有问题。我一直以为是“示好”的意思。
狗来的是“我可要生气了，鼻孔里已经冒火了”
天，我一直理解的是，小样儿，我要开pia了。
Thank you. Yes, I admit I am suffering from the tension. The main reason, I think, is that I don't trust my lg's ability of mediating between the two parties.
They are really good parents, having taken very good care of my lg. But I am raised to be a very independent person. I don't mind being bossed around as long as I think the "boss" is in charge. But I can not back of if the issue is related to my kids. In my mind being a mom is my right and responsibility.
Here the problem emerges. My father-in-law is very used to directing his son how to live. And the way my lg acts against his parent's opinion is to say yes but do the opposite. I don't think this will work if all of us live together and the direction is related to my kids.
Frankly speaking, I don't want this "help". I did not ask for this help. Only my lg wants it and my parents-in-law want to help us. So from my point of view, I am doing the favor instead of accepting one.
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/11/12 14:54:07编辑过]
sigh。人在江湖，身不由己呀。
内心强大的人，想要offer help，就offer。管你接受的人想不想要。
天，我一直理解的是，小样儿，我要开pia了。
你理解的和Google出来的意思一样啊
你看的很准
好奇怪
如果你是包子，因该对别人表情很敏感的，看来你不是真包子
让我想起，lie to me了。里面那个天生的读表情女，据说就是因为小时候被abuse。
了解了解。
是不是家长太强势的结果？？？
咋从内来调整自己这种mode呢？
咋从内来调整自己这种mode呢？
每天早上起来自己对自己说10句表扬自己的话？
今天的讨论让我明白了一个重要的道理嘿嘿。。。。。。。包子和肉糜之间屹立着目标
肉糜认为不需要去reach middleground，也不需要改变自己，是咋样就咋样。
1. Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to mothing
2. Don't die with your music still in you
3. You can't give away what you don't have
4. Embrace silence
5. Give up your personal history
6. You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it
7. There are no justified resentments
8. Treat yourself as if you already are what you'd like to be
9. Treasure your divinity
10. Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weakens you
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/11/13 9:48:38编辑过]
等着看详细分解
天，我一直理解的是，小样儿，我要开pia了。
你理解的对呀。
I think that it's cruel not letting a son enjoy some living-together time with his parents...
But, isn't it also cruel to force someone to live with other parties that she is pretty sure to have conflicts with?
肉糜认为不需要去reach middleground，也不需要改变自己，是咋样就咋样。
pia ~~~~ 爱蓝说你理解错了
But, isn't it also cruel to force someone to live with other parties that she is pretty sure to have conflicts with?
肉糜怎么看，包子怎么看，牛人怎么看？
这句话对喜欢否定自己的同学很有用啊
大家都没意见，那我就来figure时间地点了 ～～
做什么？
8. Treat yourself as if you already are what you'd like to be
这句话对喜欢否定自己的同学很有用啊
我咋就想到一个胖子穿了紧身衣服在照镜子，明明难看的要死还觉得自己很美的景象呢。。。。。。。。。。。。
很奇怪。
我的一贯做法是，这个是我想的，我表达清楚了没有？如果你没有误解我的意思，好吧，能告诉我你怎么想吗？
然后一直问到我没有误解对方的意思；最后两个人一起找解决问题的方法。
好像我们的默认是两个人都有道理，就是经验和理解不一样，所以要沟通。
我是这样的。
pia ~~~~ 爱蓝说你理解错了
唉，我记得xyin说的一件事（xyin不介意我在这里说吧？）
就是他老公睡觉怕热要吹风扇，但是她自己关节啥的也不好不能被吹的，但是她没让他老公关风扇...
我当时听了，很感慨的，这样的老婆，多好啊
I think that it's cruel not letting a son enjoy some living-together time with his parents...
For your problem, simple:
1. It's all about negotiation. What you can let them act on the children, what you cannot. For example, it should be fine if they want to bring cheap books/things for the child than expensive ones, or complaining something is too expensive. Don't take those words as a sword, it's simply how they survived their life. 'Honor the culture'. :P You still do what you like, and handle everything calmly.
2. If your husband's technique works on his parents, why cannot you use it? If you expect them to be flexible, you'd better be a bit felexible yourself first. :)
3. Love is the remedy. You need to understand them and give them the love they want. Take care of them the way they enjoyed.
The way they want may not be the way you want. What to do next?
4. Concord is very good on all these issues!
正因为人之间不是透明的，所以要交流
你说的那种做了客人不爱吃的饭的情况再交流不畅的情况下才会发生吧
从没听说有人请客非和客人口味拧着来的
其实这个很tricky。请人吃饭，如果彼此不是非常非常熟悉的话，总有沟通问题的。
就算是主人先问，到我家来吃饭，你喜欢吃什么呀？
这个问题客人是很难回答的，我喜欢吃粉蒸排骨。
主人会做还好，不会做，只能说，呀，我不会做这个，你看这样好不好，我照着菜谱做，你将就？或者说，我不会，你能另点个菜吗？再或者，我会做土豆烧牛肉，你吃这个能行吗？
客人不喜欢土豆烧牛肉，也不愿意尝试实验性的“粉蒸排骨”，上面的对话换个菜名继续进行，直到主人会做同时客人也喜欢吃结束。
But, isn't it also cruel to force someone to live with other parties that she is pretty sure to have conflicts with?
只要有人，就有矛盾，别管是跟老公，还是孩子，还是自己的父母，还是公婆。
没人能被强迫和别人住，都是自己的选择，不管是经济上的原因也好，还是亲情的原因。
既然自己做了决定要一起住，就高高兴兴地一起住，有矛盾解决矛盾。如果觉得矛盾不可调和，那就说清楚为什么不能一起住，看有没有解决的办法。
大家都是成年人了，其实没什么被强迫的问题了。
唉，我记得xyin说的一件事（xyin不介意我在这里说吧？）
就是他老公睡觉怕热要吹风扇，但是她自己关节啥的也不好不能被吹的，但是她没让他老公关风扇...
我当时听了，很感慨的，这样的老婆，多好啊
why don't u think it's baozi? it seems very baozi to me
But, isn't it also cruel to force someone to live with other parties that she is pretty sure to have conflicts with?
I did not know the real problem. I was a bit too worried--she seemed so bothered all the time. But I can see that she's very clear what to do now.
BTW it seems to me now what bother WinterSun most is her hubby's attitude, not her gp. Once she get it solved (looks very promising to me), she'll be very fine. She's very capable on handling relatives.
以下是引用Cyprus在11/12/2009 1:15:00 PM的发言：
I think that it's cruel not letting a son enjoy some living-together time with his parents...
That
is why I am doing the favor. But for me to enjoy this kind of family
time needs efforts from all three parties. It is also cruel to be
commanded on how to raise your own kids.
For your problem, simple:
1.
It's all about negotiation. What you can let them act on the children,
what you cannot. For example, it should be fine if they want to bring
cheap books/things for the child than expensive ones, or complaining
something is too expensive. Don't take those words as a sword, it's
simply how they survived their life. 'Honor the culture'. :P You still
do what you like, and handle everything calmly.
I can negotiate and honor others' culture. But such kind of job is really not a favor to appreciate.
2.
If your husband's technique works on his parents, why cannot you use
it? If you expect them to be flexible, you'd better be a bit felexible
yourself first. :)
The
ocean + phone played tricks. That is why the old way worked. Now I will
lost the ocean. To be commanded to feed honey to a newborn? Sorry, here
is where my firm boundary lies. If my lg still nods, I definitely would stand out to say "NO!"
千万不要给1岁以前的孩子喂蜂蜜！！！！！！
3. Love is the remedy. You need to understand them and give them the love they want. Take care of them the way they enjoyed.
I don't think I will treat them with no respect.
4. Concord is very good on all these issues!
In
my case, all parties are good-will and warmhearted. As you said, I
really have no base to teach my parents-in-law how to behave.
so far大家说交流和尊重，然后按自己喜欢的来 :PPPPPP
肉糜怎么看，包子怎么看，牛人怎么看？
和老公商量，让inlaw来，但是是探亲不是帮忙，住3个月而不是6个月
肉糜怎么看，包子怎么看，牛人怎么看？
Ah, shall I fit myself in the seat of 牛人? Kakaka...
我咋就想到一个胖子穿了紧身衣服在照镜子，明明难看的要死还觉得自己很美的景象呢。。。。。。。。。。。。
你不用觉得你美（如果你觉得自己难看），但是可以对自己很好，是不？
My lg is terrible on games. Whenever he got something new, I beat him (I'm terrible too, but still better than him) quickly. Then he lost interest in the game forever.
sigh，我只成功的让我lg从此不打大富翁。
why don't u think it's baozi? it seems very baozi to me
她自己决定了这么做，而且她没有抱怨。
包子是自己心里想让对方关电扇，还死活不说，或者违心地说你不用关不用关，然后心里抱怨。
她自己决定了这么做，而且她没有抱怨。
包子是自己心里想让对方关电扇，还死活不说，或者违心地说你不用关不用关，然后心里抱怨。
她没抱怨到处疼什么的？
你不用觉得你美（如果你觉得自己难看），但是可以对自己很好，是不？
我说的镜头，是what not to wear里面一个经典镜头。美丑是相对的，对错是相对的，自己爱干妈干妈，别人说的都是耳旁风。 :P
"The way they want may not be the way you want. What to do next?"
For me, I would try to find some common ground. I can only offer the love I CAN give. I guess that's the so-called boundary.
因为大家没有评论男方，我就情感上感觉大家认为男方不需要改进orz
我的感觉是，评论男的也没有用，他又看不到，所以这个方面是out of my control；那什么是我能做的呢，就是商量该怎么跟对方沟通，或者怎么改变自己的做法。
"The way they want may not be the way you want. What to do next?"
For me, I would try to find some common ground. I can only offer the love I CAN give. I guess that's the so-called boundary.
在别人看来就是你没给他他想要的东西呗。然后“你”还觉得：kao我都尽量在朝你靠拢了，你还不满意，你想怎么样？？？？？
她没抱怨到处疼什么的？
她说了自己疼，但是她自己说她愿意承担这样的后果，因为她不想自己一个人睡，也不想老公不吹风扇。
这么说吧，我对我老公的亲戚的为人处事也有看法，但是这是我自己的选择，我嫁了老公就要承担这样的后果，说出自己承担的后果，和包子是完全不同的两个概念。
why don't u think it's baozi? it seems very baozi to me
因为她不是抱怨啊，她愿意承担关节炎变严重的后果
包子是答应了，但是心里100个不愿意..
她说了自己疼，但是她自己说她愿意承担这样的后果，因为她不想自己一个人睡，也不想老公不吹风扇。
这么说吧，我对我老公的亲戚的为人处事也有看法，但是这是我自己的选择，我嫁了老公就要承担这样的后果，说出自己承担的后果，和包子是完全不同的两个概念。
我怎么觉得是totally缺乏沟通呢。。。。。。
在别人看来就是你没给他他想要的东西呗。然后“你”还觉得：kao我都尽量在朝你靠拢了，你还不满意，你想怎么样？？？？？
If I cannot give, I don't worry anymore. Because I cannot. And I tell him that sorry I cannot, would you like anything else?
我说的镜头，是what not to wear里面一个经典镜头。美丑是相对的，对错是相对的，自己爱干妈干妈，别人说的都是耳旁风。 :P
赞
我怎么觉得是totally缺乏沟通呢。。。。。。
remind me of the stupid high school english text: 老婆卖了头发给劳工的gold watch买个链条啥的，劳工卖了表给老婆的头发买了个梳子什么的。当时就bs这个故事觉得是俩天生一对天下头号傻子
她没抱怨到处疼什么的？
她说疼，我们给她分析是吹风吹的
我怎么觉得是totally缺乏沟通呢。。。。。。
不是缺乏沟通呀。她老公不吹风扇睡不着觉。她吹风扇会关节疼。她自己选择了跟老公一起睡，让老公吹风扇。
貌似这个沟通没问题呀。
sigh。人在江湖，身不由己呀。
内心强大的人，想要offer help，就offer。管你接受的人想不想要。
其实如果是我爸妈，我就直接据了；啥时候来玩可以，帮忙，谢谢，但我暂时不需要。
lg的爸妈，我连据了三回，再据，我就不通常理了。
我怎么觉得是totally缺乏沟通呢。。。。。。
沟通以后的结果1.关电扇2.分开睡
她不愿意关电扇（太热，老公没法睡）
也不愿意分开睡
remind me of the stupid high school english text: 老婆卖了头发给劳工的gold watch买个链条啥的，劳工卖了表给老婆的头发买了个梳子什么的。当时就bs这个故事觉得是俩天生一对天下头号傻子
我想起另一个故事，一对老夫妇，一个爱吃鱼头，于是一辈子给另一位夹鱼头吃。另一个爱吃鱼尾，于是一辈子给对方夹鱼尾吃。合着他们一辈子都吃自己不喜欢吃的东西，问一句就那么难吗？
不过这个故事和xyin的故事不同，xyin很明确地知道她老公不吹风扇睡不着觉。
唉，我记得xyin说的一件事（xyin不介意我在这里说吧？）
就是他老公睡觉怕热要吹风扇，但是她自己关节啥的也不好不能被吹的，但是她没让他老公关风扇...
我当时听了，很感慨的，这样的老婆，多好啊
哇，我不一直都这样做的～这里的包子这样做的不少吧，不bso而已～
我想起另一个故事，一对老夫妇，一个爱吃鱼头，于是一辈子给另一位夹鱼头吃。另一个爱吃鱼尾，于是一辈子给对方夹鱼尾吃。合着他们一辈子都吃自己不喜欢吃的东西，问一句就那么难吗？
不过这个故事和xyin的故事不同，xyin很明确地知道她老公不吹风扇睡不着觉。
而且估计xyin说了，老公就算热的睡不了觉，也会关电扇，xyin也不愿意这样
哇，我不一直都这样做的～这里的包子这样做的不少吧，不bso而已～
这么说吧，xyin不愿意老公关电扇的
如果你老公改成迁就你，你愿意吗？
我觉得这就是区别
这么说吧，xyin不愿意老公关电扇的
如果你老公改成迁就你，你愿意吗？
我觉得这就是区别
肉糜迁就别人是发自内心的，
包子迁就别人是不情愿的。
肉糜迁就别人是发自内心的，
包子迁就别人是不情愿的。
re!
这么说吧，xyin不愿意老公关电扇的
如果你老公改成迁就你，你愿意吗？
我觉得这就是区别
这不就是sacrifice吗？
肉糜迁就别人是发自内心的，
包子迁就别人是不情愿的。
这个也太简单化了吧～
我就是心甘情愿的迁就别人的。
这不就是sacrifice吗？
是爱啊
自己愿意给，给得起
我是这样的。
我lg以前不是这样认为的。他以前的理解是，我说我是这么想的，潜台词就是他那么想是错的，可怜我，连他在怎么想都不知道；冲突一两次之后，大家搞明白了，我说我怎么想，没有指责你的意思，而是想弄明白你在怎么想。告诉我，你不说，我怎么知道呢。大家又不是一个模子造出来的。
看，我像唐僧吧。不过，那个是磨合好了，现在他跟他父母的方式，也是这种方式的来源，摆在我们面前了。（昨天改造了一天，目前看效果良好）
是爱啊
自己愿意给，给得起
不理解为啥这个例子会让你们感动成这样。。。
在爱里面的人不应该都是这样的吗。。。
只要有人，就有矛盾，别管是跟老公，还是孩子，还是自己的父母，还是公婆。
没人能被强迫和别人住，都是自己的选择，不管是经济上的原因也好，还是亲情的原因。
既然自己做了决定要一起住，就高高兴兴地一起住，有矛盾解决矛盾。如果觉得矛盾不可调和，那就说清楚为什么不能一起住，看有没有解决的办法。
大家都是成年人了，其实没什么被强迫的问题了。
这个我同意，我不能接受的是，一提及有矛盾，立刻是你应该爱你的父母，你应该爱你的家人，只要爱，就可以了。
矛盾是客观存在的，有矛盾的潜台词不是我不爱他们，因为爱，所以要寻求解决矛盾或者避免矛盾的良好方式。
这个也太简单化了吧～
我就是心甘情愿的迁就别人的。
那就行，自己愿意也没啥遗憾的吧
这个也太简单化了吧～
我就是心甘情愿的迁就别人的。
那你就不是包子呀。
那你就不是包子呀。
我还是会很难拒绝别人呀，可是我就认了呗。
不理解为啥这个例子会让你们感动成这样。。。
在爱里面的人不应该都是这样的吗。。。
我觉得很了不起啊
难道大家都能做到？是我落后了
我还是会很难拒绝别人呀，可是我就认了呗。
你这样不是心甘情愿啊
你这样不是心甘情愿啊
为什么不是啊？我答应了就心甘情愿的做啊。虽然是包子很难拒绝别人。
为什么不是啊？我答应了就心甘情愿的做啊。虽然是包子很难拒绝别人。
那我问一句，你想拒绝别人吗？
so far大家说交流和尊重，然后按自己喜欢的来 :PPPPPP
就我自己来说，虽然碰到我的firm boundary我会立刻有反应，但我的firm boundary本身真的不算大。
所以交流和尊重就是大家都明白对方的firm boundary在哪里，soft boundary里面的大家就各让一步了。
例如，我知道我gg非常得意他的做饭水平，我个人对吃又没有特别高的标准（孕期除外），那我就准备全权放弃厨房。就算不太对胃口，我一个月找个机会出门自己下馆子也就解决问题了。但我不可能去说，爸，我喜欢吃我们家乡菜，您学学这个菜系好吗？或者，爸，您歇着，以后我来做菜吧。
谢谢！
那我问一句，你想拒绝别人吗？
看什么情况了～
就我自己来说，虽然碰到我的firm boundary我会立刻有反应，但我的firm boundary本身真的不算大。
所以交流和尊重就是大家都明白对方的firm boundary在哪里，soft boundary里面的大家就各让一步了。
例如，我知道我gg非常得意他的做饭水平，我个人对吃又没有特别高的标准（孕期除外），那我就准备全权放弃厨房。就算不太对胃口，我一个月找个机会出门自己下馆子也就解决问题了。但我不可能去说，爸，我喜欢吃我们家乡菜，您学学这个菜系好吗？或者，爸，您歇着，以后我来做菜吧。
那可不可以说爸，今天我有时间，您歇着，我来
或者说爸，你这菜真不错，要是淡点（咸点）就更好了
或者他不常做你爱吃的什么东西，可以说，爸，我嘴馋了，想吃XX行不？
不是缺乏沟通呀。她老公不吹风扇睡不着觉。她吹风扇会关节疼。她自己选择了跟老公一起睡，让老公吹风扇。
貌似这个沟通没问题呀。
他lg知不知道她吹风会关节疼呢？因为这个关节炎，我个人觉得还是挺严重的。
他lg知不知道她吹风会关节疼呢？因为这个关节炎，我个人觉得还是挺严重的。
是，我觉得这个应该是属于不注意自己的身体了，应该批评，不是感动。
看什么情况了～
在你想拒绝的情况下，因为没拒绝成，你也心甘情愿做
他lg知不知道她吹风会关节疼呢？因为这个关节炎，我个人觉得还是挺严重的。
我估计她lg不知道...
她有个风吹草动，老公很紧张的
在你想拒绝的情况下，因为没拒绝成，你也心甘情愿做
要是很想拒绝，不会拒绝不成的。
我是那种：这件事也没损害我什么，能帮就帮吧。所以是心甘情愿的。
I also try to seduce my hubby to grow with me. I told him what I learned, what I thought; then he might agree, or disagree. I would not argue--it's important for us to express the ideas. Then he knows me better and I know him better. Very helpful on solving conflicts. In fact, I also learned what argument does not work on him, what does.
我多尝试吧。。要说，我现在express idea then work out的经验也不少，但心里还是觉得简单地express idea（i.e.不够激烈/严肃/一本正经）只会被人shrugged off...
要是很想拒绝，不会拒绝不成的。
我是那种：这件事也没损害我什么，能帮就帮吧。所以是心甘情愿的。
那你为什么认为你是包子？
非包子也不是整天把no挂在嘴边的
heihei, xiao red
那你为什么认为你是包子？
非包子也不是整天把no挂在嘴边的
非包子没我那么好说话啊。
那可不可以说爸，今天我有时间，您歇着，我来
或者说爸，你这菜真不错，要是淡点（咸点）就更好了
或者他不常做你爱吃的什么东西，可以说，爸，我嘴馋了，想吃XX行不？
第三个可行啊，谢谢，真遇到了，我就这么说。
sigh，一提起吃，我发现我想吃的，都在国内啊
bravo， 蓬蓬。
她的很多话，前提都把女性放在男性之下。然后女性努力爬到男性的位置，就是成功。。。。
我收回我昨天建议小red看她帖子的建议， 要是罗罗和蓬蓬看完是这个看法的话， 小red 最好现在当下是不要看。
他老公之前常打她来着
你看那个老婆的博客和短信就知道了。
女人强大起来， 是为了自己呀。
我收回我昨天建议小red看她帖子的建议， 要是罗罗和蓬蓬看完是这个看法的话， 小red 最好现在当下是不要看。
小red可能真的不适合看。我看完的感觉跟罗罗和蓬蓬一样。女人要是修炼得雌雄同体了，人直接进化成螳螂就好了。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/11/13 11:44:18编辑过]
小red可能真的不适合看。我看完的感觉跟罗罗和蓬蓬一样。女人要是修炼得雌雄同体了，人直接进化成蟑螂就好了。
为什么是蟑螂？？
第三个可行啊，谢谢，真遇到了，我就这么说。
sigh，一提起吃，我发现我想吃的，都在国内啊
我有一招杀手锏就撒娇，百试不爽，特别是对有家长做风的人
到时候万一气氛紧张，就使出来
非包子没我那么好说话啊。
那是因为人家不想啊
你不想的时候也能拒绝就不是包子
为什么是蟑螂？？
sorry，想着螳螂来着。
要是很想拒绝，不会拒绝不成的。
我是那种：这件事也没损害我什么，能帮就帮吧。所以是心甘情愿的。
me too。
我有一招杀手锏就撒娇，百试不爽，特别是对有家长做风的人
到时候万一气氛紧张，就使出来
rt这招我要练习一下。
你看那个老婆的博客和短信就知道了。
女人强大起来， 是为了自己呀。
唉
谁都能不爱自己，自己不能不爱啊
参见昨天关于送书的讨论：送了对方不喜欢的书，so what? not my problem. beat it.
你真会理解。。。。我最后解释一次。
原意是这样的： 我了解的人， 我知道他们大概喜欢什么书， 有些人我都知道他们会去买那几本书， 那我就买了送他们。 这个情况下， 有可能送的对方不是特别满意， 这个情况是会发生的， 但是我相信他们会appreciate 我的心意， 我也不会因为有礼物对方会不是特别喜欢， 就从此不送任何人书。
送别人葡萄酒啥的， 很容易的， 一般不会出错， 也不用费什么特别的心思。 书， 就不同， 我花了心思的， 也努力去希望送的是对方喜欢的。对我， 这是发自内心的， 这个礼物就是很可贵的。 当然， 如果我随便看到一本书便宜， 就买了随便送谁， 那这个礼物就没有能量， 对方也不会感动。
肉糜爱的能力很强大，如果肉糜要爱，一定让你在爱里爆炸
我昨天就说了，我要是男人，一定跟肉糜
问题是你得是肉糜选择爱的那个，你光想跟她不行的，人家可能不甩你。
谁说的， 我甩， 我甩爱兰的。。 很和我胃口的。。
那是因为人家不想啊
你不想的时候也能拒绝就不是包子
可我还是觉得我是包子～
就是说做肉糜的客人，绝不可能发生你爱吃东北菜，她给你福州菜的事
是的。 一般我做饭，开始肯定是对方爱吃的， 这个中间慢慢加一点儿自己认为对方爱吃的， 不会什么他爱的都不做， 光做我爱吃的菜。。 一旦我Introuduce的他爱吃了， 这个以后会再做， 不爱的话， 就此不做了。要是自己很爱吃呢， 我也会偶尔做给自己。 酱紫。
所以婚前还是挺重要的， 我们婚前就知道两个人胃口太像了。 没说的。俩中国老乡的胃口都没我们这么近的
这话我同意，否则肉糜根本不会请你当客人，要请你，就让你开开心心的。
请客之前都要通过各种渠道问问对方喜欢吃什么的。。 这个是一定的。