I think you can just give some gift to the coming baby's parents in private (if you have not given before). No need to attend such a strange shower--unless your hubby wants to hang out with his colleagues there. Plus, it's probably not wise to attend parties in flu season...
I think you can just give some gift to the coming baby's parents in private (if you have not given before). No need to attend such a strange shower--unless your hubby wants to hang out with his colleagues there. Plus, it's probably not wise to attend parties in flu season...
I understand you are trying to help. But I still feel being judged unfairly.
I am really sorry to say that. But all I am asking is whether I should ship Chinese books by myself or ask a favor from my parents-in-law instead.
I really don't need advices on "how to be a good daughter-in-law" or "how to love your parents-in-law"
Dear 冬日, I'm so sorry--I guess that I unconsciously judged. I did not mean it. I'd be very happy to take any words back if they hurt you. I just try to present my view of the matter--I know nothing about the reality. You know best yourself. I thought that viewing the matter from a different view might help. But apparently I didn't help on it--in fact only making it worse.
Thank you. Yes, I admit I am suffering from the tension. The main reason, I think, is that I don't trust my lg's ability of mediating between the two parties.
They are really good parents, having taken very good care of my lg. But I am raised to be a very independent person. I don't mind being bossed around as long as I think the "boss" is in charge. But I can not back of if the issue is related to my kids. In my mind being a mom is my right and responsibility.
Here the problem emerges. My father-in-law is very used to directing his son how to live. And the way my lg acts against his parent's opinion is to say yes but do the opposite. I don't think this will work if all of us live together and the direction is related to my kids.
Frankly speaking, I don't want this "help". I did not ask for this help. Only my lg wants it and my parents-in-law want to help us. So from my point of view, I am doing the favor instead of accepting one.
When I had babies, I thought asking for GC saved my friends time and energy. Then I realized I missed the chance of having them spend the pleasant caring time for me choosing a gift they like to give...
When I had babies, I thought asking for GC saved my friends time and energy. Then I realized I missed the chance of having them spend the pleasant caring time for me choosing a gift they like to give...
My 3-yr old nowadays claim all the bad things she did was done by her favorite stuff animal. I think that it's a very natural reaction. I'm practicing what works for this issue. I read a children picture book yesterday about a girl lied to others that she was a real princess (from the royal family). The day that all the kids claimed that she lied, her grandma helped in an interesting way--she pretended to be a queen to cover the lie. Then the girl herself admitted to everyone that she lied. The Grandma was very happy. Very inspiring to me. I think that's the way to raise an independent, self-respected child.
I hope 大家和我较真, seriously. I'm very happy that I learned the lesson today (well, feel a little guilty having my pleasure but hurting others). I want to grow through 较真.
我也没办婚礼,不过我没遗憾,因为觉得办婚礼太累了,不适合我这样的懒人。
我也基本上算是没有
看到kp贴的图,想起来最近才知道圣诞老人红衣服白胡子是可口可乐搞的鬼
不懂
看到kp贴的图,想起来最近才知道圣诞老人红衣服白胡子是可口可乐搞的鬼
啊,是可口可乐干的?
不懂
就是有个鬼子告诉我,他小时候圣诞老人什么颜色的衣服都穿,也不一定是大胡子,现在只穿红衣服留白胡子是可口可乐商业运作的结果
至于为啥看到你贴那几个图让我想起这个,我也不知道,我的思维太发散了
我也没办婚礼,不过我没遗憾,因为觉得办婚礼太累了,不适合我这样的懒人。
婚礼我倒是无所谓
就是因为突发事件蜜月都没度成
我也郁闷,别人结婚和生娃我们送了无数,一次也都100-150的,又收不回来,亏~~~~
Don't give anymore...
My own experience, a real gift is better than GC, emotionally and economically. It's a trade of warm caring time for cold money.
就是有个鬼子告诉我,他小时候圣诞老人什么颜色的衣服都穿,也不一定是大胡子,现在只穿红衣服留白胡子是可口可乐商业运作的结果
至于为啥看到你贴那几个图让我想起这个,我也不知道,我的思维太发散了
我们家有一套disney出的pooh bear扮的各国的圣诞老人,就是各种各样的衣服。
婚礼我倒是无所谓
就是因为突发事件蜜月都没度成
补办吧。出去玩儿。
Don't give anymore...
My own experience, a real gift is better than GC, emotionally and economically. It's a trade of warm caring time for cold money.
对方都列出来list了,也没啥warm caring time了吧?
要不我还得去研究买几件凑个合适价钱
要生娃那家和我们住一个小区,还算熟悉。不过主办人和其他客人我都不认识
I think you can just give some gift to the coming baby's parents in private (if you have not given before). No need to attend such a strange shower--unless your hubby wants to hang out with his colleagues there. Plus, it's probably not wise to attend parties in flu season...
另外,她列的那个list上最贵的东西是60,是不是说我们就给50-60刀就行了,还是要多给?
每次要随人情礼都不知道给多少合适
If close--the most expensive--$60; if not, the median should work fine.
那怎么看出来是圣诞老人的呢?
圣诞老人的装扮,而且标签上也注明了是哪国的圣诞老人。
我们家有一套disney出的pooh bear扮的各国的圣诞老人,就是各种各样的衣服。
那怎么看出来是圣诞老人的呢?
Don't give anymore...
My own experience, a real gift is better than GC, emotionally and economically. It's a trade of warm caring time for cold money.
嗯
我觉得不太熟的,就是去吃顿饭那种,把饭钱cover不吃白食就行了
就是有个鬼子告诉我,他小时候圣诞老人什么颜色的衣服都穿,也不一定是大胡子,现在只穿红衣服留白胡子是可口可乐商业运作的结果
至于为啥看到你贴那几个图让我想起这个,我也不知道,我的思维太发散了
原来如此
Don't give anymore...
My own experience, a real gift is better than GC, emotionally and economically. It's a trade of warm caring time for cold money.
啊?我就不喜欢礼物。。。。。。。they are rarely what i need ya....esp housing warming stuff, 别人送家装,结果跟家里那是万分的不搭,还要想办法regift出去。。。。。。。
补办吧。出去玩儿。
有机会一定要
一个是budget的问题,还有一个是要等长假
那应该给多少
My very close friends gave us $100 GC--I stupidly asked for GC. Not so close friends or colleagues gave things around $25.
I myself likes getting something nice in the discount stores (Marshalls) as gifts to others.
圣诞老人的装扮,而且标签上也注明了是哪国的圣诞老人。
那个鬼子告诉我,以前的圣诞老人都不一定是老头装扮,各式各样都有
I think you can just give some gift to the coming baby's parents in private (if you have not given before). No need to attend such a strange shower--unless your hubby wants to hang out with his colleagues there. Plus, it's probably not wise to attend parties in flu season...
我刚才很邪恶的想,要不要提醒他们流感季节不要办聚会了呢。。。
啊?我就不喜欢礼物。。。。。。。they are rarely what i need ya....esp housing warming stuff, 别人送家装,结果跟家里那是万分的不搭,还要想办法regift出去。。。。。。。
所以现在参加婚礼我都送check,不参加的寄个giftcard。
有机会一定要
一个是budget的问题,还有一个是要等长假
蜜月也不是指满满当当一个月吧?
我们每年一次两周左右的旅行我都把它当蜜月了。。。
所以现在参加婚礼我都送check,不参加的寄个giftcard。
万一check兑现不了呢?从前有个室友给我们的电费check,我们去银行存发现她把账户关了,我们银行还扣了我们5刀。。。。
我们参加婚礼都是红包里面包现金
万一check兑现不了呢?从前有个室友给我们的电费check,我们去银行存发现她把账户关了,我们银行还扣了我们5刀。。。。
我们参加婚礼都是红包里面包现金
我的account是不会没钱的~不过倒真是有一个goofy朋友给我们的check被bounce了,真是不断印证她的goofiness。。。
以下是引用冬日阳光灿烂在11/12/2009 1:40:00 PM的发言:
I understand you are trying to help. But I still feel being judged unfairly.
I am really sorry to say that. But all I am asking is whether I should
ship Chinese books by myself or ask a favor from my parents-in-law
instead.
I really don't need advices on "how to be a good daughter-in-law" or
"how to love your parents-in-law"
Dear 冬日, I'm so sorry--I guess that I unconsciously judged. I did not mean it. I'd be very happy to take any words back if they hurt you. I just try to present my view of the matter--I know nothing about the reality. You know best yourself. I thought that viewing the matter from a different view might help. But apparently I didn't help on it--in fact only making it worse.
也就是说中国一天不富裕,两级分化问题不解决,那妇女问题就解决不了?
中国还有比妇女问题更重要的问题。
蜜月也不是指满满当当一个月吧?
我们每年一次两周左右的旅行我都把它当蜜月了。。。
就两周
以前他闲的时候,没钱,现在又忙又没钱,以后不知道能不能圆满
就两周
以前他闲的时候,没钱,现在又忙又没钱,以后不知道能不能圆满
以后肯定有很多机会
再怎么说退休了那还不是大把大把的时间
Thank you. Yes, I admit I am suffering from the tension. The main reason, I think, is that I don't trust my lg's ability of mediating between the two parties.
They are really good parents, having taken very good care of my lg. But I am raised to be a very independent person. I don't mind being bossed around as long as I think the "boss" is in charge. But I can not back of if the issue is related to my kids. In my mind being a mom is my right and responsibility.
Here the problem emerges. My father-in-law is very used to directing his son how to live. And the way my lg acts against his parent's opinion is to say yes but do the opposite. I don't think this will work if all of us live together and the direction is related to my kids.
Frankly speaking, I don't want this "help". I did not ask for this help. Only my lg wants it and my parents-in-law want to help us. So from my point of view, I am doing the favor instead of accepting one.
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/11/12 14:54:07编辑过]
take a step back, 什么问题他们的做法你觉得会对孩子有害?
是啊。
我还想过一个问题,“不为五斗米折腰”。饿死事小,失节事大。如果真到了这种境地,一边是个人生死,一边是国家尊严民族气节。你怎么选?
反正我是先折腰, 要是还不行, 那只能饿死了。。
以后肯定有很多机会
再怎么说退休了那还不是大把大把的时间
哈哈
到时候年年度蜜月
No, it's just a matter of capital transferring. Some one get more, someone get less. I really hoped Hilary to win for the sake of women. :P
从一个侧面反映美国的种族歧视现象远远没有性别歧视来的严重
对方都列出来list了,也没啥warm caring time了吧?
要不我还得去研究买几件凑个合适价钱
When I had babies, I thought asking for GC saved my friends time and energy. Then I realized I missed the chance of having them spend the pleasant caring time for me choosing a gift they like to give...
take a step back, 什么问题他们的做法你觉得会对孩子有害?
我再发散一下,在国内,每当小孩子摔倒了,摔到地上老人打两下地,说地坏,磕到桌角就打桌子说桌子坏,这不是从小就教育孩子推卸责任么
我再发散一下,在国内,每当小孩子摔倒了,摔到地上老人打两下地,说地坏,磕到桌角就打桌子说桌子坏,这不是从小就教育孩子推卸责任么
咱不都这样长大的么。。。。。。。
嗯
我觉得不太熟的,就是去吃顿饭那种,把饭钱cover不吃白食就行了
Hehe, my hubby did calculated the expense of holding a birthday party and divide it by number of people attending as a guide to us choosing gifts.
咱不都这样长大的么。。。。。。。
所以咱们心理都这么健康多不容易啊
我再发散一下,在国内,每当小孩子摔倒了,摔到地上老人打两下地,说地坏,磕到桌角就打桌子说桌子坏,这不是从小就教育孩子推卸责任么
这么做,绝对是错的
When I had babies, I thought asking for GC saved my friends time and energy. Then I realized I missed the chance of having them spend the pleasant caring time for me choosing a gift they like to give...
好吧,以后再碰到baby shower,对方没列list的俺们就不送GC了。。。
我再发散一下,在国内,每当小孩子摔倒了,摔到地上老人打两下地,说地坏,磕到桌角就打桌子说桌子坏,这不是从小就教育孩子推卸责任么
这个好象是非常不好的~
咱不都这样长大的么。。。。。。。
不是吧,我摔的时候,从来没有大人怪地不好的
呵呵有这样的看法你怎么能自称肉糜呢。。。。。
concord 和我对国家大事的看法其实都不肉糜的
啊?我就不喜欢礼物。。。。。。。they are rarely what i need ya....esp housing warming stuff, 别人送家装,结果跟家里那是万分的不搭,还要想办法regift出去。。。。。。。
Heihei, exactly my thoughts when asking friends for GC. Then I found my best friend hated giving GC--she did not say but I felt it.
Anyway, different people like different things.
我再发散一下,在国内,每当小孩子摔倒了,摔到地上老人打两下地,说地坏,磕到桌角就打桌子说桌子坏,这不是从小就教育孩子推卸责任么
我觉得是,还培养一种anger
我刚才很邪恶的想,要不要提醒他们流感季节不要办聚会了呢。。。
Hehe, I might do it....
concord 和我对国家大事的看法其实都不肉糜的
农民的三问题你也这样看》
从一个侧面反映美国的种族歧视现象远远没有性别歧视来的严重
No, Hilary was not as a smart politician as her husband nor Obama.
所以咱们心理都这么健康多不容易啊
很少见谁在这方面有大问题的啊,可见这不是啥大不了的。。。。。
Heihei, exactly my thoughts when asking friends for GC. Then I found my best friend hated giving GC--she did not say but I felt it.
Anyway, different people like different things.
我从前送东西的时候,跟best friend相互送自己认为应该送的东西,其实根本就是相反的人,她喜欢好看没用的东西,我相反,结果。。。。。。呵呵。。。。。。现在离远了,送万能gc,方便的很
不是吧,我摔的时候,从来没有大人怪地不好的
我们家大人没有,不过我公婆会这么做。有一次我们家老大碰到桌子哭了,然后我公公就说:“宝宝打桌子,桌子坏。”
很少见谁在这方面有大问题的啊,可见这不是啥大不了的。。。。。
什么是大问题?
如果每次自己遇到挫折都怪到外界条件上不自省,不是什么好事吧
什么是大问题?
如果每次自己遇到挫折都怪到外界条件上不自省,不是什么好事吧
你看我是这样的啊?谢谢你的insight我还从不知道我是这样的
很少见谁在这方面有大问题的啊,可见这不是啥大不了的。。。。。
就闲话上这样的帖子就不少啊,不是很大的问题,但是遇到问题找替罪羊的不少
等我想一个
对了,就那个配眼镜自己没看清楚总价就签字了,回来抱怨诊所黑他还问要不要让信用卡拒付的
你看我是这样的啊?谢谢你的insight我还从不知道我是这样的
不是啊
我就是general一说
我们家大人没有,不过我公婆会这么做。有一次我们家老大碰到桌子哭了,然后我公公就说:“宝宝打桌子,桌子坏。”
你lg是个一遇到挫折就怪外界环境的人么?
你lg是个一遇到挫折就怪外界环境的人么?
我猜不是
他老公在他家不是太受宠的那个吧
那还是生儿子好
反正在美国长大的娃,也不指望将来给我们养老
儿子也不花老少。 蓬蓬那个婚礼都是她婆婆办的吧
一般家庭的, 也要给的,很多还帮着付房子的首期呢。。戒指啊, 蜜月啊啥的
我再发散一下,在国内,每当小孩子摔倒了,摔到地上老人打两下地,说地坏,磕到桌角就打桌子说桌子坏,这不是从小就教育孩子推卸责任么
My 3-yr old nowadays claim all the bad things she did was done by her favorite stuff animal. I think that it's a very natural reaction. I'm practicing what works for this issue. I read a children picture book yesterday about a girl lied to others that she was a real princess (from the royal family). The day that all the kids claimed that she lied, her grandma helped in an interesting way--she pretended to be a queen to cover the lie. Then the girl herself admitted to everyone that she lied. The Grandma was very happy. Very inspiring to me. I think that's the way to raise an independent, self-respected child.
我这辈子是没啥别致的婚礼了,万一将来生个女儿,也不知道有没有经济实力给办个别致的
也还好, 便宜的2,3万也能办。贵的就不封顶了
就闲话上这样的帖子就不少啊,不是很大的问题,但是遇到问题找替罪羊的不少
等我想一个
对了,就那个配眼镜自己没看清楚总价就签字了,回来抱怨诊所黑他还问要不要让信用卡拒付的
这人怪信用卡的起因就是小时候摔跤父母说是地不好,桌子不好?
我猜不是
他老公在他家不是太受宠的那个吧
那得,大致可以推翻“小时候摔跤怪地怪桌子”和“长大逃避责任”的因果关系了。纯逻辑
Don't give anymore...
My own experience, a real gift is better than GC, emotionally and economically. It's a trade of warm caring time for cold money.
nod。 我同意这个的。
我从前送东西的时候,跟best friend相互送自己认为应该送的东西,其实根本就是相反的人,她喜欢好看没用的东西,我相反,结果。。。。。。呵呵。。。。。。现在离远了,送万能gc,方便的很
Yes choosing the right gift is an art...
nod。 我同意这个的。
家里一堆用不上的礼物,扔也不合适,留着占地方,怎么搞?
我要烦死了,一屋子的老印,扒拉扒拉扒拉,都在打手机,我都没法干活,还有老板,发疯呀,没完没了了,
你听ipod不就不吵了?
我刚才很邪恶的想,要不要提醒他们流感季节不要办聚会了呢。。。
不去就不去吧, 这个这个也太啥了, 还有孕妇吧。。 这个想法不太好啊
也还好, 便宜的2,3万也能办。贵的就不封顶了
我见过一家人家刚给子女办完婚礼,人家一年不到就离了
闹心啊
家里一堆用不上的礼物,扔也不合适,留着占地方,怎么搞?
Donate.
Donate.
麻烦。麻烦。喜欢GC喜欢现金。。。。。。。。:P
那得,大致可以推翻“小时候摔跤怪地怪桌子”和“长大逃避责任”的因果关系了。纯逻辑
这个条件可能导致这个结果,因为别的影响因素还是很多的
就两周
以前他闲的时候,没钱,现在又忙又没钱,以后不知道能不能圆满
以后有钱没时间, 酱紫。我已经任命了。。
这个条件可能导致这个结果,因为别的影响因素还是很多的
哈哈那么多父母得到causation结论是多么的容易。。。。。。。。。。。
以后有钱没时间, 酱紫。我已经任命了。。
bitini说退休以后还有大把时间呢
你老公忙成那样了?
Wish that I did not ruin WinterSun's day...
你听ipod不就不吵了?
他们要跟我说话呀,要使各干各的,就好了
这么做,绝对是错的
小小孩嘛, 这个也没什么吧。。 我小时候我妈老说我是垃圾堆捡来的, 我也好好长大了。。 不比美国方法出来的有啥心理阴影
麻烦。麻烦。喜欢GC喜欢现金。。。。。。。。:P
Hehe, then ask for GC. I did it. I was not killed. :P
Yes choosing the right gift is an art...
多少人喜欢送bar set啊,家里n套。screwdriver, drill 之类tool set,很多。吃的,鲜花,植物,酒,当场大家消掉就不错。permanent的,不容易选好。新婚送水晶什么什么frame之类,又重又不知道有什么用:P
农民的三问题你也这样看》
是呀。。。 农民工那和海外留学的临时夫妻都是类似的情况啊。。
不去就不去吧, 这个这个也太啥了, 还有孕妇吧。。 这个想法不太好啊
我想起来
我们这儿有人冒充自己家里有小baby去打猪流感疫苗的
而且她自己都得过了还打
不去就不去吧, 这个这个也太啥了, 还有孕妇吧。。 这个想法不太好啊
哪啥了?我是真的拎着一管子流感病毒去那里释放了还是怎么了?
还有孕妇不是更该提醒他们这个季节办聚会要小心吗?
多少人喜欢送bar set啊,家里n套。screwdriver, drill 之类tool set,很多。吃的,鲜花,植物,酒,当场大家消掉就不错。permanent的,不容易选好。新婚送水晶什么什么frame之类,又重又不知道有什么用:P
I like bar set, I like Crystal. :)
Girls, if I unconsciously judged/judge at any time, please help me to point them out. I hope to learn from the lessons.
Wish that I did not ruin WinterSun's day...
patpat
我也常常满嘴跑火车,不过好在大家也没和我较真
哪啥了?我是真的拎着一管子流感病毒去那里释放了还是怎么了?
还有孕妇不是更该提醒他们这个季节办聚会要小心吗?
i agree with you
I like bar set, I like Crystal. :)
haha i can imagine。。。。。就是跟我相反的类型啊。。。。。。。。。。
我见过一家人家刚给子女办完婚礼,人家一年不到就离了
闹心啊
这个和婚礼有啥关系?
家里一堆用不上的礼物,扔也不合适,留着占地方,怎么搞?
捐掉, 退掉, 一般有receipt的
小小孩嘛, 这个也没什么吧。。 我小时候我妈老说我是垃圾堆捡来的, 我也好好长大了。。 不比美国方法出来的有啥心理阴影
我家人也说过
不过我从来不信,我和我爹一个模子倒出来的,哈哈
小小孩嘛, 这个也没什么吧。。 我小时候我妈老说我是垃圾堆捡来的, 我也好好长大了。。 不比美国方法出来的有啥心理阴影
我从小我妈就给我讲她从姥姥家走到二院生我的光辉事迹。然后我7岁那年跟我爸坐火车去福州看爷爷奶奶,坐对面的一个叔叔非说我是垃圾堆捡来的,我很不屑地说:“我是我妈在北京西绒线胡同儿的第二医院早上8点20分生的,你才是垃圾堆捡来的呢,你知道你自己在哪个医院几点生的吗?”结果周围的叔叔阿姨都哄堂大笑。
是呀。。。 农民工那和海外留学的临时夫妻都是类似的情况啊。。
那你干啥看别人夫妻问题总是很鸡血
I like bar set, I like Crystal. :)
话说这个更到底是谁的马甲?
捐掉, 退掉, 一般有receipt的
从来没有。中国人学人家的传统嘛,学的一般象
这个和婚礼有啥关系?
这钱也没少花啊
下次还要花
我从小我妈就给我讲她从姥姥家走到二院生我的光辉事迹。然后我7岁那年跟我爸坐火车去福州看爷爷奶奶,坐对面的一个叔叔非说我是垃圾堆捡来的,我很不屑地说:“我是我妈在北京西绒线胡同儿的第二医院早上8点20分生的,你才是垃圾堆捡来的呢,你知道你自己在哪个医院几点生的吗?”结果周围的叔叔阿姨都哄堂大笑。
你太牛了~~~~~~~~~~~~~~替广大的儿童给了无聊的叔叔门一记无形的重击
我从小我妈就给我讲她从姥姥家走到二院生我的光辉事迹。然后我7岁那年跟我爸坐火车去福州看爷爷奶奶,坐对面的一个叔叔非说我是垃圾堆捡来的,我很不屑地说:“我是我妈在北京西绒线胡同儿的第二医院早上8点20分生的,你才是垃圾堆捡来的呢,你知道你自己在哪个医院几点生的吗?”结果周围的叔叔阿姨都哄堂大笑。
厉害的~~~~
patpat
我也常常满嘴跑火车,不过好在大家也没和我较真
I hope 大家和我较真, seriously. I'm very happy that I learned the lesson today (well, feel a little guilty having my pleasure but hurting others). I want to grow through 较真.
哪啥了?我是真的拎着一管子流感病毒去那里释放了还是怎么了?
还有孕妇不是更该提醒他们这个季节办聚会要小心吗?
I'm with you. :)
这钱也没少花啊
下次还要花
以后要是生了女儿我可得跟她说好,只给办一次婚礼,想清楚了基本能过一辈子再结婚
你太牛了~~~~~~~~~~~~~~替广大的儿童给了无聊的叔叔门一记无形的重击
要牛也是我妈牛,讲得那么详细,我连还有个孩子是8点10分生的,全产房除了一个男孩,其他都是女孩都知道。还有一个生第7胎的。