For you, you need to consider when you would like to help, half an hour after arriving home? or after dinner? For him, he needs to consider what his goal is. To finish in one month? Or in two months? Help him getting his target in line with reality--he suffers from the pressure of a too-high goal.
I was like him. My husband helped me slow down. His point is simple: take care of myself first. If I got myself too stretched trying to finish something, it does not worth.
I feel a bit low today--come to my beloved 'coffer bar' here... There are quite a few new ideas to me on making the relationship fun and enjoyable for both husband/wife. To singles, it's also fun to read-
thanks for recommending! will try it with my new ereader~ where did u get the book?
ps.I think I have SAD too..or used to. It's raining here today. But I feel fine. I guess that's because I've sth to look forward to. (food and ereader)
For you, you need to consider when you would like to help, half an hour after arriving home? or after dinner? For him, he needs to consider what his goal is. To finish in one month? Or in two months? Help him getting his target in line with reality--he suffers from the pressure of a too-high goal.
Dear, I'm little worried about you. It seems to me that you already suffer from the tension even before they come. Why? Aren't there anything in them that can help you like them? It's going to be very difficult to live together if you don't like them at all.
For another, they are coming to help you. I didn't see any appreciation from your posts...
thanks for recommending! will try it with my new ereader~ where did u get the book?
ps.I think I have SAD too..or used to. It's raining here today. But I feel fine. I guess that's because I've sth to look forward to. (food and ereader)
Food? Hehe, I thought you wanted to get slimmer... :P
I found out why I'm low--thanks to Jolin! I didn't not get much progress on work these days, which is always a major source of excitements for me.
Dear, I'm little worried about you. It seems to me that you already suffer from the tension even before they come. Why? Aren't there anything in them that can help you like them? It's going to be very difficult to live together if you don't like them at all.
For another, they are coming to help you. I didn't see any appreciation from your posts...
See, you meet his expectation--get as far away from the childhood pain as possible. But the book has some other theory--the pain is not gone. It's always there. But it's hidden. It would do a lot good if the pain is recognized and the hidden crying child (in the unconscious mind) is soothed and ultimately satisfied.
thanks for recommending! will try it with my new ereader~ where did u get the book?
ps.I think I have SAD too..or used to. It's raining here today. But I feel fine. I guess that's because I've sth to look forward to. (food and ereader)
I got the pdf from the beginning of this post ah...
just found out that a lot of ereaders can do text to speech. then once u have an ereader like that, u can learn spelling and pronouciation from merely ebook!
just found out that a lot of ereaders can do text to speech. then once u have an ereader like that, u can learn spelling and pronouciation from merely ebook!
Food? Hehe, I thought you wanted to get slimmer... :P
I found out why I'm low--thanks to Jolin! I didn't not get much progress on work these days, which is always a major source of excitements for me.
i did get bigger! And i'm always craving for tasty, in other word, oily, heavily seasoned food. Just ate buffet Tue, now I feel for it again.... the only "good" thing is that I make peace with veg-only suppers..
Dear, I'm little worried about you. It seems to me that you already suffer from the tension even before they come. Why? Aren't there anything in them that can help you like them? It's going to be very difficult to live together if you don't like them at all.
For another, they are coming to help you. I didn't see any appreciation from your posts...
Thank you. Yes, I admit I am suffering from the tension. The main reason, I think, is that I don't trust my lg's ability of mediating between the two parties.
They are really good parents, having taken very good care of my lg. But I am raised to be a very independent person. I don't mind being bossed around as long as I think the "boss" is in charge. But I can not back of if the issue is related to my kids. In my mind being a mom is my right and responsibility.
Here the problem emerges. My father-in-law is very used to directing his son how to live. And the way my lg acts against his parent's opinion is to say yes but do the opposite. I don't think this will work if all of us live together and the direction is related to my kids.
Frankly speaking, I don't want this "help". I did not ask for this help. Only my lg wants it and my parents-in-law want to help us. So from my point of view, I am doing the favor instead of accepting one.
just found out that a lot of ereaders can do text to speech. then once u have an ereader like that, u can learn spelling and pronouciation from merely ebook!
Anyone know if Kindle can convert Chinese pdf? And, is there any place that Kindle can be physically played before buying?
I mean, now if we see an America drinking Coke, nobody complains that he should instead drink Tea.
Also as you said, 'honor culture' is the surface, the behind is rich vs. poor. Culture from the rich is always honored; and culture from the poor is disliked. ;P
my first instinct is that u should talk with ur hubby about all ur concerns and ur bottom line, also pointing out that his way of dealing with his parents may affect ur kids in their way of dealing with u two. but I don't know whether this is an effective way
Thank you. Yes, I admit I am suffering from the tension. The main reason, I think, is that I don't trust my lg's ability of mediating between the two parties.
They are really good parents, having taken very good care of my lg. But I am raised to be a very independent person. I don't mind being bossing around as long as I think the "boss" is in charge. But I can not back of if the issue is related to my kids. In my mind being a mom is my right and responsibility.
Here the problem emerges. My father-in-law is very used to directing his son how to live. And the way my lg acts against his parent's opinion is to say yes but do the opposite. I can not accept this way if all of us lives together and the direction is related to my kids.
Frankly speaking, I don't want this "help". I did not ask for this help. Only my lg wants it and my parents-in-law want to help us. So from my point of view, I am doing the favor instead of accepting one.
I think that it's cruel not letting a son enjoy some living-together time with his parents...
For your problem, simple:
1. It's all about negotiation. What you can let them act on the children, what you cannot. For example, it should be fine if they want to bring cheap books/things for the child than expensive ones, or complaining something is too expensive. Don't take those words as a sword, it's simply how they survived their life. 'Honor the culture'. :P You still do what you like, and handle everything calmly.
2. If your husband's technique works on his parents, why cannot you use it? If you expect them to be flexible, you'd better be a bit felexible yourself first. :)
3. Love is the remedy. You need to understand them and give them the love they want. Take care of them the way they enjoyed.
我觉得我很幸运啊
觉得自己真是很一般，怎么正好就歪打正着了
If you are really curious, check the book. The answer lies in his childhood and his parents.
Negotiation.
For you, you need to consider when you would like to help, half an hour after arriving home? or after dinner?
For him, he needs to consider what his goal is. To finish in one month? Or in two months? Help him getting his target in line with reality--he suffers from the pressure of a too-high goal.
嗯，蛮有道理的～
他的expectation太高，恨不得马上把所有东西都弄好；
我现在已经疲了，只要能住就行。
嗯，蛮有道理的～
他的expectation太高，恨不得马上把所有东西都弄好；
我现在已经疲了，只要能住就行。
急性子的人就是这样
让他慢慢来吧，一天弄一点，你也帮一点，这样大家压力都不太大
这个男人以前有暴力问题的，她都忍了，可悲
她没办法啊，这又不是在美国，离了婚能分到一笔钱可以保障孩子治病。
她老公那么狠，要房子，不要孩子，每月只肯一千块RMB给母子俩，她当然不想离婚了。
这个女人谈不上是可怜之人有可恨之处，看她以前的博客写儿子，心都碎了。
有暴力倾向...
我认为这个悲剧的关键问题不是小三
是这个男人人品太差。
嗯，蛮有道理的～
他的expectation太高，恨不得马上把所有东西都弄好；
我现在已经疲了，只要能住就行。
I was like him. My husband helped me slow down. His point is simple: take care of myself first. If I got myself too stretched trying to finish something, it does not worth.
她没办法啊，这又不是在美国，离了婚能分到一笔钱可以保障孩子治病。
她老公那么狠，要房子，不要孩子，每月只肯一千块RMB给母子俩，她当然不想离婚了。
这个女人谈不上是可怜之人有可恨之处，看她以前的博客写儿子，心都碎了。
问题是离婚这个事只要有一方坚持最后都是离的，她那样白白挨打又有什么意义呢？
老公有暴力倾向的，至少不能住一起了吧，离婚的事情可以拖
不是不同情她，就是觉得她疏忽了
你也太早了
问题是离婚这个事只要有一方坚持最后都是离的，她那样白白挨打又有什么意义呢？
老公有暴力倾向的，至少不能住一起了吧，离婚的事情可以拖
不是不同情她，就是觉得她疏忽了
她后来也同意离婚了，准备请律师打官司的，她这个老公太狠了。下手太毒了。
转女主朋友的贴子：
If you are really curious, check the book. The answer lies in his childhood and his parents.
他童年不是很开心
我和他父母是完全相反的人
我想要买一些汉语的童书，请gp这次带来。你们说，是我直接跟他们说好，还是我指示lg去说好。
sigh，其实真是不如自己掏钱从ems走。
一个真正内心强大的人不用fight back。因为肉糜的嘲笑没有在心里留下任何痕迹，那就不用fight back。
一个真正内心强大的肉糜既不会嘲笑别人也不会怕人家fight back
可他他天天唱我是幸福喜气福气猪
哈哈，好可爱。他是说你是猪还是他是猪啊？
哈哈，好可爱。他是说你是猪还是他是猪啊？
他说他自己
我钻牛角尖了，请大家帮我看看。
我想要买一些汉语的童书，请gp这次带来。你们说，是我直接跟他们说好，还是我指示lg去说好。
sigh，其实真是不如自己掏钱从ems走。
不提要求，啥都不说。
你要带的不多的话，不如我帮你带。
她后来也同意离婚了，准备请律师打官司的，她这个老公太狠了。下手太毒了。
转女主朋友的贴子：
最初由第1楼 的 tonimm 发表: 我和程MM认识的那么多日子，我一直和她说一个道理，男人不爱你了，请给自己尊严，不要再去纠缠，离开了，自己有好的工作也可以活的下去。
程MM一直认为完整的家庭是她有病儿子的一个重要的治疗基础，我不否认程MM非常偏执，抑郁，敏感，脆弱。但是到10月上旬，她认清了她老公只要房产不要孩子和不念旧情后，她也决定离婚了，聘请了律师（至少她这样和我说的），至少从一个角度来说，她愿意解决问题，期间她父母也表示了愿意帮助她带孩子，所以不存在死缠烂打的问题。
接着就是财产的问题：
1.男方出轨
2.孩子有先心
怎么说，我都觉得女方应该是弱势方，应该可以得到房产（以现金补偿给男方），但是我所知道的是男方在起诉书中说房产140W，并且举证女方忧郁症和种种家庭问题，要求分得房产并不要孩子的抚养权，一个女人和你孩子都生了，你连一套房子都不肯给他们母子，最后有没有开庭我不得而知。再后来就是男方杀了女方。
那些发帖子说程MM的人，我真的不知道你们是什么思想，一个女人大好的年华给你，给你生孩子，有错吗？你给人家一个住的地方，怎么样呢？毕竟你儿子也是你的骨肉啊。你收入也不低，为什么不能承担多一些呢？
准备离婚了为啥还住住一起啊
昨天我看到她的一段话，他老公一边外面搞小三，一边还没事人似的和她xx，这让一个男人把自己折磨成这个样子，是不是太包子了
不提要求，啥都不说。
你要带的不多的话，不如我帮你带。
那我绝对不去自己说了。
你千万别带了，把你家jolin照顾好就好了。
我还是脑子进水了。其实如果不是怕他们多心或者嫌我瞎花钱，我自己从ems走也不是操作不来，麻烦可能还小点。
看我签名档...
8cuo
我钻牛角尖了，请大家帮我看看。
我想要买一些汉语的童书，请gp这次带来。你们说，是我直接跟他们说好，还是我指示lg去说好。
sigh，其实真是不如自己掏钱从ems走。
那就自己掏钱走ems，省心！
一个真正内心强大的肉糜既不会嘲笑别人也不会怕人家fight back
fightback在肉糜心里没有留下任何痕迹，她才不怕呢～哈哈。
这个真是不容易，尤其是他还可以滚到小水坑里。他太有毅力了，我觉得我做不到。
黄继光那个，估计我被逼急了觉得自己早晚一死的时候还是可以做的。
我肯定做不到。我小时候看电影里地下党受刑就问我妈，你觉得你行吗？我妈很认真地想了好久，老实地跟我说她自己肯定做不了地下党。现在觉得我妈真可爱，那个时候可是都号召大家做英雄学先进的年代。
那我绝对不去自己说了。
你千万别带了，把你家jolin照顾好就好了。
我还是脑子进水了。其实如果不是怕他们多心或者嫌我瞎花钱，我自己从ems走也不是操作不来，麻烦可能还小点。
给娃买书还嫌你瞎花钱
I feel a bit low today--come to my beloved 'coffer bar' here...
There are quite a few new ideas to me on making the relationship fun and enjoyable for both husband/wife.
To singles, it's also fun to read-
thanks for recommending! will try it with my new ereader~
where did u get the book?
ps.I think I have SAD too..or used to. It's raining here today. But I feel fine. I guess that's because I've sth to look forward to. (food and ereader)
这个不是女人自己形成的啊，是社会洗脑的，社会也在变
人的 preference不同。我爹妈和周围都没谁跟我这样挑剔的，但是我自己还是自发变的越来越挑剔。才不改呢。
我肯定做不到。我小时候看电影里地下党受刑就问我妈，你觉得你行吗？我妈很认真地想了好久，老实地跟我说她自己肯定做不了地下党。现在觉得我妈真可爱，那个时候可是都号召大家做英雄学先进的年代。
好可爱～
他说他自己
这觉悟可真高
我家zt从来都唱我是猪，他自己是x帅帅
准备离婚了为啥还住住一起啊
昨天我看到她的一段话，他老公一边外面搞小三，一边还没事人似的和她xx，这让一个男人把自己折磨成这个样子，是不是太包子了
她是知青子女，和自己的父母不是很亲，以前有过一段日子和自己爹妈不来往，后来是为了带孩子，才恢复走动的，外婆白天来帮她带孩子。
她那来钱再去自己租房照顾孩子啊。
这事是国内法律不保护妇女儿童的结果之一，她老公对她暴力，她报过警的，有什么用，没人管的。
放在美国，可能吗？肯定是警察让老公搬出去住了。
不是她包子，是没有支持她的法律和法规。
在梦里，我和老公一起做飞机，然后飞机剧烈颠簸，空姐宣布，飞机马上就要坠毁了。我居然心情异常平静，和旁边的老公拉着手，相视一笑说：“真高兴这辈子认识你，和你在一起。” 再看一次还是美
好可爱～
是啊，她一定心理斗争了好久，正常的人性终于占了上风，哈哈。
那就自己掏钱走ems，省心！
sigh，发现自己真是脑子变成金鱼缸了，简简单单的事情被自己弄复杂。
主意是好主意。
就怕到时候光顾着看书单了，没时间看书了。
我昨天打算看完power of now的，一上网就。。。
哈哈。。我现在“想看的”书远远多于“看过的”书。。
那我绝对不去自己说了。
你千万别带了，把你家jolin照顾好就好了。
我还是脑子进水了。其实如果不是怕他们多心或者嫌我瞎花钱，我自己从ems走也不是操作不来，麻烦可能还小点。
公婆不是自己爹妈啊，能少要求就少要求。
你要的书不多不急，我完全可以帮你带的。
给娃买书还嫌你瞎花钱
我是怕不告诉他们，自己从ems走，回头收到书的时候，怪我瞎花运费。
人的 preference不同。我爹妈和周围都没谁跟我这样挑剔的，但是我自己还是自发变的越来越挑剔。才不改呢。
不是这个意思啊
就是说在过去相当长的时间内，如果一个女人家务做的井井有条，大家都会认为她是一个好女人，那么自己有意无意就往那里靠，别的就忽略了
一个真正内心强大的肉糜既不会嘲笑别人也不会怕人家fight back
肉糜内心强大就不嘲笑别人？肉糜的强大就在于嘲笑了别人而不自知
我是怕不告诉他们，自己从ems走，回头收到书的时候，怪我瞎花运费。
最多说几句贵呗
哈哈。。我现在“想看的”书远远多于“看过的”书。。
啊？难道不是一直这样？
我肯定做不到。我小时候看电影里地下党受刑就问我妈，你觉得你行吗？我妈很认真地想了好久，老实地跟我说她自己肯定做不了地下党。现在觉得我妈真可爱，那个时候可是都号召大家做英雄学先进的年代。
你妈妈真可爱！in every sense of 可爱！
不是这个意思啊
就是说在过去相当长的时间内，如果一个女人家务做的井井有条，大家都会认为她是一个好女人，那么自己有意无意就往那里靠，别的就忽略了
汗，太没效率才忽略别的事情吧。。。。。不是期望井井有条的错
他童年不是很开心
我和他父母是完全相反的人
u might be his ideal parent
肉糜内心强大就不嘲笑别人？肉糜的强大就在于嘲笑了别人而不自知
肉糜没打算嘲笑人，就bso来着，你们觉得被嘲笑了是你们的事～
公婆不是自己爹妈啊，能少要求就少要求。
你要的书不多不急，我完全可以帮你带的。
不要你带，我心疼你，带着小宝宝走那么长的旅途，事情越少越好。
Yes, see how we honor the Coke culture...
啊？啥coke culture?
肉糜没打算嘲笑人，就bso来着，你们觉得被嘲笑了是你们的事～
对呀。所以觉得被嘲笑了，其实是内心不够强大的表现。不论是肉糜的嘲笑还是包子的嘲笑。。。。包子好像也不是嘲笑free的
她是知青子女，和自己的父母不是很亲，以前有过一段日子和自己爹妈不来往，后来是为了带孩子，才恢复走动的，外婆白天来帮她带孩子。
她那来钱再去自己租房照顾孩子啊。
这事是国内法律不保护妇女儿童的结果之一，她老公对她暴力，她报过警的，有什么用，没人管的。
放在美国，可能吗？肯定是警察让老公搬出去住了。
不是她包子，是没有支持她的法律和法规。
租房子就租呗，如果自己人身安全都没有保障了，别的没法说。她也有正经工作，不是租不起吧
国内条件是没有美国好，不过这个时候人有本能的吧，一个人经常打你，你还能和他睡一张床...反正我是想不出来这是什么一个情况
我是怕不告诉他们，自己从ems走，回头收到书的时候，怪我瞎花运费。
那就不告诉他们，说拖别人带的，或者在美国买的，或者编个什么能混过去的理由
汗，太没效率才忽略别的事情吧。。。。。不是期望井井有条的错
家里有五个孩子，再有效率也不行啊
啊？难道不是一直这样？
现在更甚阿，因为知道更多书的存在。。
最多说几句贵呗
就是啊，我刚才发现自己傻了，目的只是买书而已，书运过来了，说两句我当听不到就好了。
这两天我真不适合做决定。
她没办法啊，这又不是在美国，离了婚能分到一笔钱可以保障孩子治病。
她老公那么狠，要房子，不要孩子，每月只肯一千块RMB给母子俩，她当然不想离婚了。
这个女人谈不上是可怜之人有可恨之处，看她以前的博客写儿子，心都碎了。
这个房子是他老公婚前财产么？ 否则法院判么。
Negotiation.
For you, you need to consider when you would like to help, half an hour after arriving home? or after dinner?
For him, he needs to consider what his goal is. To finish in one month? Or in two months? Help him getting his target in line with reality--he suffers from the pressure of a too-high goal.
给他端个茶送个水， 给他晚上做个香艳的按摩。。。
家里有五个孩子，再有效率也不行啊
谁让生5个，活该。。。。。。
给他端个茶送个水， 给他晚上做个香艳的按摩。。。
他全身疼，正是需要按摩～
u might be his ideal parent
我也是这么想的
其实这也是阴差阳错，他第一次见我的时候，以为我和他是差不多的人，然后有的感觉。再后来发现我完全不是他想的那样，却觉得自己很满足
那年头还不知道怎么避孕吧
这在说谁啊？我以为是一general statement，从前家里一窝小崽子还井井有条的不多哦
谁让生5个，活该。。。。。。
那年头还不知道怎么避孕吧
我肯定做不到。我小时候看电影里地下党受刑就问我妈，你觉得你行吗？我妈很认真地想了好久，老实地跟我说她自己肯定做不了地下党。现在觉得我妈真可爱，那个时候可是都号召大家做英雄学先进的年代。
我和老公看色戒的时候， 他就取笑我是绝对干不了地下活动的， 我这个人不会说谎。。
这在说谁啊？我以为是一general statement，从前家里一窝小崽子还井井有条的不多哦
说金婚啊
他全身疼，正是需要按摩～
带他一起做瑜伽，很有情趣的
她是知青子女，和自己的父母不是很亲，以前有过一段日子和自己爹妈不来往，后来是为了带孩子，才恢复走动的，外婆白天来帮她带孩子。
她那来钱再去自己租房照顾孩子啊。
这事是国内法律不保护妇女儿童的结果之一，她老公对她暴力，她报过警的，有什么用，没人管的。
放在美国，可能吗？肯定是警察让老公搬出去住了。
不是她包子，是没有支持她的法律和法规。
老毛一个知青， 又害了无数家庭和孩子， 现在还有后遗症。。。
不明白为什么她会认为房子会判给男的呢。。。。 直接走法律程序， 她什么也拿不到么？
那就不告诉他们，说拖别人带的，或者在美国买的，或者编个什么能混过去的理由
恩，谢谢。
这个房子是他老公婚前财产么？ 否则法院判么。
这个就不晓得了，MS是两人结婚后买的。
我对国内的法律很失望很失望。
前几天闲话有人贴了“宝贝回家”的网站，其实几年前我就知道“宝贝回家”的事，都是各地人贩子拐、抢孩子的事，几个千失去孩子的父母聚集在“宝贝回家”网站上商量怎么找孩子。很多地方的警察对这类报案都不管不顾的，甚至有人报警说某个乞讨的孩子可能是被拐来的，也没有警察去查一下。
老毛一个知青， 又害了无数家庭和孩子， 现在还有后遗症。。。
不明白为什么她会认为房子会判给男的呢。。。。 直接走法律程序， 她什么也拿不到么？
国内的法律程序，她离婚后拿不到房子的可能性还是非常大的，如果那个男的一定要争的话。
那我绝对不去自己说了。
你千万别带了，把你家jolin照顾好就好了。
我还是脑子进水了。其实如果不是怕他们多心或者嫌我瞎花钱，我自己从ems走也不是操作不来，麻烦可能还小点。
Dear, I'm little worried about you. It seems to me that you already suffer from the tension even before they come. Why? Aren't there anything in them that can help you like them? It's going to be very difficult to live together if you don't like them at all.
For another, they are coming to help you. I didn't see any appreciation from your posts...
老毛一个知青， 又害了无数家庭和孩子， 现在还有后遗症。。。
不明白为什么她会认为房子会判给男的呢。。。。 直接走法律程序， 她什么也拿不到么？
因为她认为男方会走关系。。。
这个顾虑不是没有可能，在国内么，关系大于法律。
因为她认为男方会走关系。。。
这个顾虑不是没有可能，在国内么，关系大于法律。
唉...
理解她的顾虑
thanks for recommending! will try it with my new ereader~
where did u get the book?
ps.I think I have SAD too..or used to. It's raining here today. But I feel fine. I guess that's because I've sth to look forward to. (food and ereader)
Food? Hehe, I thought you wanted to get slimmer... :P
I found out why I'm low--thanks to Jolin! I didn't not get much progress on work these days, which is always a major source of excitements for me.
关于这个妇女地位的问题
我有点糊涂
以前说经济基础决定上层建筑，以为只要女人和男人一样工作，就好了
现在中国工作的妇女比好多发达国家都多，怎么看起来还是没人权
Dear, I'm little worried about you. It seems to me that you already suffer from the tension even before they come. Why? Aren't there anything in them that can help you like them? It's going to be very difficult to live together if you don't like them at all.
For another, they are coming to help you. I didn't see any appreciation from your posts...
我觉得冬日宁愿自己辛苦一点，或者请保姆啥的，也不想有人干涉自己的生活吧
这次让他们来帮忙，可能也不是冬日的意思
他童年不是很开心
我和他父母是完全相反的人
See, you meet his expectation--get as far away from the childhood pain as possible. But the book has some other theory--the pain is not gone. It's always there. But it's hidden. It would do a lot good if the pain is recognized and the hidden crying child (in the unconscious mind) is soothed and ultimately satisfied.
thanks for recommending! will try it with my new ereader~
where did u get the book?
ps.I think I have SAD too..or used to. It's raining here today. But I feel fine. I guess that's because I've sth to look forward to. (food and ereader)
I got the pdf from the beginning of this post ah...
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/11/12 12:48:34编辑过]
关于这个妇女地位的问题
我有点糊涂
以前说经济基础决定上层建筑，以为只要女人和男人一样工作，就好了
现在中国工作的妇女比好多发达国家都多，怎么看起来还是没人权
我要说句话粗话。狗P。
让女人和男人一样工作，是新社会为了更好的剥削劳动力想出来的招。
付给男人的工资不够男人养家糊口，所以鼓励女人也加入到社会劳动中。
但是女人加入到社会劳动中，家庭劳动，养儿育女照顾家庭的劳动并没有减少。
现在的小三为什么这么多，不是中国女人贱赶着要做三，是社会地位低，是身负压力重，是法律不保护女人的利益所导致的。
中国的社会结构不是梭子型，是金子塔型的，大量的社会财富资源被掌握在极少数人手里，女人为了不受社会劳动和家庭劳动双重剥削，就削尖脑袋去攀这些掌握大部分社会财富资源的男人。
要不然，为什么农民工没有三主动找上门来？
我要说句话粗话。狗P。
让女人和男人一样工作，是新社会为了更好的剥削劳动力想出来的招。
付给男人的工资不够男人养家糊口，所以鼓励女人也加入到社会劳动中。
但是女人加入到社会劳动中，家庭劳动，养儿育女照顾家庭的劳动并没有减少。
现在的小三为什么这么多，不是中国女人贱赶着要做三，是社会地位低，是身负压力重，是法律不保护女人的利益所导致的。
中国的社会结构不是梭子型，是金子塔型的，大量的社会财富资源被掌握在极少数人手里，女人为了不受社会劳动和家庭劳动双重剥削，就削尖脑袋去攀这些掌握大部分社会财富资源的男人。
要不然，为什么农民工没有三主动找上门来？
just found out that a lot of ereaders can do text to speech. then once u have an ereader like that, u can learn spelling and pronouciation from merely ebook!
是计算机读的那种？
你妈妈真可爱！in every sense of 可爱！
And very brave! Risk herself to teach the child the most important thing in life.
我要说句话粗话。狗P。
让女人和男人一样工作，是新社会为了更好的剥削劳动力想出来的招。
付给男人的工资不够男人养家糊口，所以鼓励女人也加入到社会劳动中。
但是女人加入到社会劳动中，家庭劳动，养儿育女照顾家庭的劳动并没有减少。
现在的小三为什么这么多，不是中国女人贱赶着要做三，是社会地位低，是身负压力重，是法律不保护女人的利益所导致的。
中国的社会结构不是梭子型，是金子塔型的，大量的社会财富资源被掌握在极少数人手里，女人为了不受社会劳动和家庭劳动双重剥削，就削尖脑袋去攀这些掌握大部分社会财富资源的男人。
要不然，为什么农民工没有三主动找上门来？
也就是说中国一天不富裕，两级分化问题不解决，那妇女问题就解决不了？
啊？啥coke culture?
We honor Americans drinking Coke; nobody complained that it's not Chinese culture. :P
也就是说中国一天不富裕，两级分化问题不解决，那妇女问题就解决不了？
听上去只有o8的共产主义实现了，男女才能平等:P
Food? Hehe, I thought you wanted to get slimmer... :P
I found out why I'm low--thanks to Jolin! I didn't not get much progress on work these days, which is always a major source of excitements for me.
the only "good" thing is that I make peace with veg-only suppers..
good to see u r high again
We honor Americans drinking Coke; nobody complained that it's not Chinese culture. :P
可乐进入中国的时间有关，80年代，正好是打开国门没多久，觉得老外啥都是香的时候
And very brave! Risk herself to teach the child the most important thing in life.
是啊。
我还想过一个问题，“不为五斗米折腰”。饿死事小，失节事大。如果真到了这种境地，一边是个人生死，一边是国家尊严民族气节。你怎么选？
Dear, I'm little worried about you. It seems to me that you already suffer from the tension even before they come. Why? Aren't there anything in them that can help you like them? It's going to be very difficult to live together if you don't like them at all.
For another, they are coming to help you. I didn't see any appreciation from your posts...
Thank you. Yes, I admit I am suffering from the tension. The main reason, I think, is that I don't trust my lg's ability of mediating between the two parties.
They are really good parents, having taken very good care of my lg. But I am raised to be a very independent person. I don't mind being bossed around as long as I think the "boss" is in charge. But I can not back of if the issue is related to my kids. In my mind being a mom is my right and responsibility.
Here the problem emerges. My father-in-law is very used to directing his son how to live. And the way my lg acts against his parent's opinion is to say yes but do the opposite. I don't think this will work if all of us live together and the direction is related to my kids.
Frankly speaking, I don't want this "help". I did not ask for this help. Only my lg wants it and my parents-in-law want to help us. So from my point of view, I am doing the favor instead of accepting one.
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/11/12 14:54:07编辑过]
听上去只有o8的共产主义实现了，男女才能平等:P
就怕o8把美国搞穷了，美国妇女地位也不行了
And very brave! Risk herself to teach the child the most important thing in life.
yes! that's one aspect of 可爱。。。“最可爱的人”里面这个“可爱”应该对应英文哪个词？
也就是说中国一天不富裕，两级分化问题不解决，那妇女问题就解决不了？
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/11/12 13:00:40编辑过]
just found out that a lot of ereaders can do text to speech. then once u have an ereader like that, u can learn spelling and pronouciation from merely ebook!
Anyone know if Kindle can convert Chinese pdf? And, is there any place that Kindle can be physically played before buying?
也就是说中国一天不富裕，两级分化问题不解决，那妇女问题就解决不了？
社会模式是一方面，妇女自己觉醒呼吁也是一方面力量
资源有限也可以平分，法律需要改进得靠人不断呼吁推动，家庭劳动重到底还是无论男女都观念上觉得女的就该把家操持住、是本分，把家庭劳动的分担观念改了，就又解放一步
Anyone know if Kindle can convert Chinese pdf? And, is there any place that Kindle can be physically played before buying?
没试过。 没听说哪儿可以试，除了个人。
是计算机读的那种？
对，我还没让它读，想起要先充够12小时电，赶紧关上继续充电了。。
可乐进入中国的时间有关，80年代，正好是打开国门没多久，觉得老外啥都是香的时候
I mean, now if we see an America drinking Coke, nobody complains that he should instead drink Tea.
Also as you said, 'honor culture' is the surface, the behind is rich vs. poor. Culture from the rich is always honored; and culture from the poor is disliked. ;P
我要说句话粗话。狗P。
让女人和男人一样工作，是新社会为了更好的剥削劳动力想出来的招。
付给男人的工资不够男人养家糊口，所以鼓励女人也加入到社会劳动中。
但是女人加入到社会劳动中，家庭劳动，养儿育女照顾家庭的劳动并没有减少。
现在的小三为什么这么多，不是中国女人贱赶着要做三，是社会地位低，是身负压力重，是法律不保护女人的利益所导致的。
中国的社会结构不是梭子型，是金子塔型的，大量的社会财富资源被掌握在极少数人手里，女人为了不受社会劳动和家庭劳动双重剥削，就削尖脑袋去攀这些掌握大部分社会财富资源的男人。
要不然，为什么农民工没有三主动找上门来？
竖起两只大拇指！
就怕o8把美国搞穷了，美国妇女地位也不行了
No, it's just a matter of capital transferring. Some one get more, someone get less. I really hoped Hilary to win for the sake of women. :P
No, it's just a matter of capital transferring. Some one get more, someone get less. I really hoped Hilary to win for the sake of women. :P
3580, please
my first instinct is that u should talk with ur hubby about all ur concerns and ur bottom line, also pointing out that his way of dealing with his parents may affect ur kids in their way of dealing with u two.
but I don't know whether this is an effective way
[此贴子已经被作者于2009/11/12 13:14:21编辑过]
Thank you. Yes, I admit I am suffering from the tension. The main reason, I think, is that I don't trust my lg's ability of mediating between the two parties.
They are really good parents, having taken very good care of my lg. But I am raised to be a very independent person. I don't mind being bossing around as long as I think the "boss" is in charge. But I can not back of if the issue is related to my kids. In my mind being a mom is my right and responsibility.
Here the problem emerges. My father-in-law is very used to directing his son how to live. And the way my lg acts against his parent's opinion is to say yes but do the opposite. I can not accept this way if all of us lives together and the direction is related to my kids.
Frankly speaking, I don't want this "help". I did not ask for this help. Only my lg wants it and my parents-in-law want to help us. So from my point of view, I am doing the favor instead of accepting one.
I think that it's cruel not letting a son enjoy some living-together time with his parents...
For your problem, simple:
1. It's all about negotiation. What you can let them act on the children, what you cannot. For example, it should be fine if they want to bring cheap books/things for the child than expensive ones, or complaining something is too expensive. Don't take those words as a sword, it's simply how they survived their life. 'Honor the culture'. :P You still do what you like, and handle everything calmly.
2. If your husband's technique works on his parents, why cannot you use it? If you expect them to be flexible, you'd better be a bit felexible yourself first. :)
3. Love is the remedy. You need to understand them and give them the love they want. Take care of them the way they enjoyed.
4. Concord is very good on all these issues!
我要说句话粗话。狗P。
让女人和男人一样工作，是新社会为了更好的剥削劳动力想出来的招。
付给男人的工资不够男人养家糊口，所以鼓励女人也加入到社会劳动中。
但是女人加入到社会劳动中，家庭劳动，养儿育女照顾家庭的劳动并没有减少。
现在的小三为什么这么多，不是中国女人贱赶着要做三，是社会地位低，是身负压力重，是法律不保护女人的利益所导致的。
中国的社会结构不是梭子型，是金子塔型的，大量的社会财富资源被掌握在极少数人手里，女人为了不受社会劳动和家庭劳动双重剥削，就削尖脑袋去攀这些掌握大部分社会财富资源的男人。
要不然，为什么农民工没有三主动找上门来？
我觉得让女人和男人一样工作，跟女人都不工作只男人工作比，是进步。起码女人可以走出家门了。当然女人不得不工作，和女人有权利选择是否工作，还是有差距的。
农民工不是没有三，不少农民工是有三的，因为自己的另一半在家里，或者在不同的地方打工，于是就和在同一个地方打工的异性合着住，合着吃，这样可以多省下钱，还有个人照应。然后他们各自给家里寄钱，过年的时候各回各家，其实也挺心酸的。你说他们这样是否算背叛，应该算了。那家里的人是否在乎这种背叛，是希望他们留在家里一心一意，还是希望他们继续出去打工挣钱？中国的社会结构是有问题，可是改变起来很难的，咱们只能尽自己的绵薄之力了。
呵呵有这样的看法你怎么能自称肉糜呢。。。。。
concord自称沾了玉米面的肉糜
我觉得让女人和男人一样工作，跟女人都不工作只男人工作比，是进步。起码女人可以走出家门了。当然女人不得不工作，和女人有权利选择是否工作，还是有差距的。
农民工不是没有三，不少农民工是有三的，因为自己的另一半在家里，或者在不同的地方打工，于是就和在同一个地方打工的异性合着住，合着吃，这样可以多省下钱，还有个人照应。然后他们各自给家里寄钱，过年的时候各回各家，其实也挺心酸的。你说他们这样是否算背叛，应该算了。那家里的人是否在乎这种背叛，是希望他们留在家里一心一意，还是希望他们继续出去打工挣钱？中国的社会结构是有问题，可是改变起来很难的，咱们只能尽自己的绵薄之力了。
呵呵有这样的看法你怎么能自称肉糜呢。。。。。