俺以身作则一下，small talk的audio打算周末听完。书我看过几遍，笔记没有记完整，先贴部分。 Winning at small talk 1. I have joined or participated in at least one club or group activity in order to develop new business friendships or to meet new people this year 2. I’m conscious of “taking turns” in most conversations so that I can learn more about others and help them get to know me 3. In the past year, I have used to my contacts to help at least two people find a new job, get a date, hook up with potential customers and clients, or I have provided information for other networking purposes. 4. I go to at least two functions a month where I can meet people in my profession/industry or who are potential decision-makers. 5. If someone is friendly toward me, it is easy to be friendly back. However, I don’t wait to make sure someone is friendly before I am friendly toward him or her. 6. When someone asks me, “what’s new?” instead of saying “Not much” I often talk about something exciting in my life 7. At meetings, parties, job fairs and such, I introduce myself to people I don’t know and come away knowing the names of at least three new people
People spend money for two reasons: 1. To solve a problem or fill a need 2. To gain good, positive feelings. In safe situations, make it a point to talk to strangers Introduce yourself Silence is impolite It’s up to you to start a conversation It’s up to you to assume the burden of conversation Business icebreakers 1. Describe a typical day on the job 2. How did you come up with this idea? 3. What got you started in this industry/area of practice? 4. What got you interested in marketing/research/teaching? 5. What do you enjoy most about your profession? 6. What separates you and your firm from your competition? 7. Why does your company ___? 8. Describe some of the challenges of your profession.’ 9. What do you see as the coming trends in your business? 10. What ways have you found to be most effective for promoting your business? 11. Describe your most important work experience. 12. What advice would you give someone just starting in your business? 13. What one thing would you do if you knew your could not fail? 14. What significant changes have you seen take place in your business since your start? 15. Describe the strangest incidence you’ve experienced in your business. 16. What was the best job you ever had? What was the worst? 17. What’s the most difficult part of your job? 18. How has the internet impact your work/profession? 19. Do you know someone who can help me ___? 20. Describe how the economy/election/summer impacts your work. Social/general icebreakers 1. What do you think of the movie/restaurant/party? 2. Tell me about the best vacation you’ve ever taken 3. What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day? 4. If you could replay any moment in your life, what would it be? 5. What one thing would you really like to own? Why? 6. Tell me about one of your favorite relatives? 7. What was it like in the town where you grew up? 8. What would you like to come back as in your next life? 9. Tell me about your kids. 10. What do you think is the perfect age? Why? 11. What is a typical day like for you? 12. Of all the places you’ve lived, tell me about the one you like the best. 13. What’s your favorite holiday? What do you enjoy about it? 14. What are some of your family traditions that your particularly enjoy? 15. Tell me about the first car you ever bought. 16. How has the internet affected your life? 17. Who were your idols as a kid? Have they changed? 18. Describe a memorable teacher you had. 19. Tell me about a movie/book you’ve seen or read more than once 20. What’s your favorite restaurant? Why? 21. Tell me why you were named ___. What is the origin of your last name? 22. Tell me about a place you’ve visited that you hope never to return to. 23. What’s the best surprise you’ve ever received? 24. What’s the nearest surprise you’ve ever planned and pulled off for someone else? 25. Skiing here is always challenging. What are some of your favorite places to ski? 26. Who would star as you in a movie about your life? Why that person? 27. Who is the most famous person you’ve met? 28. Tell me about some of your New Year’s resolutions. 29. What’s the most antiestablishment thing you’ve ever done? 30. Describe a costume that you wore to a party. 31. Tell me about a political position you’d like to hold. 32. What song reminds you of an incident in your life? 33. What’s the most memorable meal you’ve eaten? 34. What’s the most unforgettable coincidence you’ve experienced or heard about? 35. How are you able to tell if that melon is ripe? 36. What motion picture star would you like to interview? Why? 37. Tell me about your family. 38. What aroma brings forth a special memory? 39. Describe the scariest person you ever met. 40. What’s your favorite thing to do alone? 41. Tell me about a childhood friend who used to get you in trouble. 42. Tell me about a time when you had too much to eat or drink. 43. Describe your first away-from-home living quarters or experience. 44. Tell me about a time that you lost a job 45. Share a memory of one of your grandparents. 46. Describe an embarrassing moment you’ve had. 47. Tell me something most people would never guess about you. 48. What would you do if you won a million dollars? 49. Describe your ideal weather and why. 50. How did you learn to ski/hang drywall/play piano? The best way to get people comfortable enough to open up and express themselves was to look them in the eye and ask What’s your name? Making eye contact and placing the emphasis on the word your, rather than the word name, signaled to the person that they were important.
Chapter 3: Take the plunge, start the conversation. Name: Stay focused during introduction. Repeat the name back in your greeting. Nice to meet you, Debra. To help yourself commit the name to memory, immediate use the person’s name in the conversation. Refrain from thinking about your reply and concentrate on the other person’s name. Focus on the name, repeat it, and then formulate your answer. If you do get distracted during the introduction and miss the name, confess! Don’t go through the whole conversation pretending your know the person’s name. It’s better to say something like Excuse me, I’m not sure I got your name. Never, ever fake it! If you run into someone you’ve met previously whose name you cannot recall as your are standing in line at the movie theatre. Don’t wait for divine inspiration. Say I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten your name. Please remind me. Never put off requesting a name reminder before moving on to chatting, or you will forget it. Remembering names is well worth the effect. In fact, learning names is part of hosting the conversation. A host is always expected to know and use every person’s name, since the host is responsible for making introductions as new individuals enter the conversation. Acting as the host puts everyone at ease and creates an atmosphere of warmth and appreciation that naturally encourages conversation. It is also positions you as a leader in the group. It’s better to give than to receive. It’s just as important to give your name when you meet someone – even if you’ve met him or her previously and think they should remember your name. Consider it a random act of kindness. Extend your hand. Hi, Patrick, Debra Fine. How are you? Don’t ever assume that someone who sees you infrequently will remember your name, especially when they see you out of context. Cut him/her some slack and offer your name when you say hello. Chapter 4. Keep the conversation going. Remember, instead of sitting back and waiting for another kind soul to start a conversation, take the lead. Think of it as if you invited that person to your home for dinner. As host, it is your job to see that your guest is comfortable. The same is true in conversation – try to make your guest as comfortable as possible. When you talk into a party or a gathering, find a person to meet. It’s much easier to engage one person rather than enter a group conversation, so begin by looking for the “approachable person”. Starting with a statement: 1. What a beautiful day. What’s your favorite season of the year? 2. I was truly touched by that movie. How did you like it? Why? 3. This is a wonderful restaurant. What is your favorite restaurant? Why? 4. What a great conference! Tell me about the sessions you attended. 5. I was absent last week. What did I miss? 6. That was an interesting program after lunch. What did you think? 7. Presidential campaigns seem to start immediately after the inauguration. What do you think of the campaign process? 8. I am so frustrated with getting this business off the ground. Do you have any ideas? 9. I am excited about our new mayor. How do you think her administration will be different from her predecessor’s? 10. Your lawn always looks so green. What is your secret? 11. We’ve been working together for months now. I’d like to get to know you better. Tell me about some of your outside interests. 12. You worked pretty hard on that stair stepper. What other equipment do you use? 13. You always wear such attractive clothes. What are your favorite stores? 14. What a beautiful home. How do you manage to run a house with four children? 15. I read in the newspaper that our governor has taken another trip overseas. What do you think of all his travel?
Chapter 5. Let’s give them something to talk about Chapter 6. Hearing aids and listening devices Chapter 7. Prevent pregnant pauses with preparation Chapter 8. Conversational Clout Chapter 9. Crimes and Misdemeanors Chapter 10. The graceful exit Chapter 11. The conversational ball is in your court! Chapter 12. Make the most of networking events! Chapter 13. Surviving the singles scene Chapter 14. Feel-good factor Chapter 15. Holiday party savvy Chapter 16. Carpe Diem
KP同学脾气较认真，写短文总结来了。关于 The fine art of small talk. (Debra Fine) 我看这个书是跟另外一本叫what southern women know about flirting，和7habits的public victory，一起看的，后来又和Dale Carnegie的How to win friends and influence people一起考虑了一下。 1。small talk从技术技巧方面解决了跟人讲话没有话题啊，转换话题之类的问题，作为技术学习很好。 2。flirt其实不是指男女的flirt，更是描绘了一种小女人的撒娇，和对人亲切的可爱态度。有的人可能不同意这个做法。我本人在内。但是的确亲见这样做的人得到实惠，所以打算看看有没有办法在不违反自己内心的条件下靠拢靠拢。 3。7habits这个挺有名我不用多说。从private victory到public victory，这里比较它关于于人相处的三种习惯。网上评论很多我不具体说了。 4。carnegie系列：主要是小故事和key point提点与人相处的时候避免和promote哪些行为。虽然是本老书，还是有值得学习的东西。缺点是虚伪的厉害。但是who knows,不断reinforce这些观点也许会变成自己真心的想法。 当然这几本各有不同侧重。它们跟7habits有重大不同，就是推崇虚伪。哪怕心里不太同意也跟人虚与委蛇。7habits说的是要真诚。我本人没有找到这中间的平衡。
KP同学脾气较认真，写短文总结来了。关于 The fine art of small talk. (Debra Fine) 我看这个书是跟另外一本叫what southern women know about flirting，和7habits的public victory，一起看的，后来又和Dale Carnegie的How to win friends and influence people一起考虑了一下。 1。small talk从技术技巧方面解决了跟人讲话没有话题啊，转换话题之类的问题，作为技术学习很好。 2。flirt其实不是指男女的flirt，更是描绘了一种小女人的撒娇，和对人亲切的可爱态度。有的人可能不同意这个做法。我本人在内。但是的确亲见这样做的人得到实惠，所以打算看看有没有办法在不违反自己内心的条件下靠拢靠拢。 3。7habits这个挺有名我不用多说。从private victory到public victory，这里比较它关于于人相处的三种习惯。网上评论很多我不具体说了。 4。carnegie系列：主要是小故事和key point提点与人相处的时候避免和promote哪些行为。虽然是本老书，还是有值得学习的东西。缺点是虚伪的厉害。但是who knows,不断reinforce这些观点也许会变成自己真心的想法。 当然这几本各有不同侧重。它们跟7habits有重大不同，就是推崇虚伪。哪怕心里不太同意也跟人虚与委蛇。7habits说的是要真诚。我本人没有找到这中间的平衡。
有空再具体一条一条说。
southern women flirting很厉害么？地域坑。 [此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:52:23编辑过]
KP同学脾气较认真，写短文总结来了。关于 The fine art of small talk. (Debra Fine) 我看这个书是跟另外一本叫what southern women know about flirting，和7habits的public victory，一起看的，后来又和Dale Carnegie的How to win friends and influence people一起考虑了一下。 1。small talk从技术技巧方面解决了跟人讲话没有话题啊，转换话题之类的问题，作为技术学习很好。 2。flirt其实不是指男女的flirt，更是描绘了一种小女人的撒娇，和对人亲切的可爱态度。有的人可能不同意这个做法。我本人在内。但是的确亲见这样做的人得到实惠，所以打算看看有没有办法在不违反自己内心的条件下靠拢靠拢。 3。7habits这个挺有名我不用多说。从private victory到public victory，这里比较它关于于人相处的三种习惯。网上评论很多我不具体说了。 4。carnegie系列：主要是小故事和key point提点与人相处的时候避免和promote哪些行为。虽然是本老书，还是有值得学习的东西。缺点是虚伪的厉害。但是who knows,不断reinforce这些观点也许会变成自己真心的想法。 当然这几本各有不同侧重。它们跟7habits有重大不同，就是推崇虚伪。哪怕心里不太同意也跟人虚与委蛇。7habits说的是要真诚。我本人没有找到这中间的平衡。
有空再具体一条一条说。
虚伪 or not depends on us .
If one cares about others and really want to help/cheer others, then skills won't lead to 虚伪 [此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:55:17编辑过]
OMG....话说paula 年轻时候很漂漂的。。。 Not my cup of tea, but i have seen young mm behave like this and get a lot of favors, that's my motivation for this book. 读完了也还是做不到，违反本性太厉害。只能尽量让自己开朗些算了。所以也不是要推荐那本书，只是说说自己读的感受罢了。
我的问题是：天哪，大家想像一下四维几何体是个什么样子的吧
我只能想象出一个运动的的立方体
我的问题是：天哪，大家想像一下四维几何体是个什么样子的吧
我只想象成书上图26的样子，投影后的样子。
今天才5号，6月楼就有2000多贴了。。。。。。seal可怜巴巴问问题也没人回答:P
书里说这个问题是不可能回答的，我不敢肯定不可能，但肯定不想灌水一样随便就是一瓢吧
我只能想象出一个运动的的立方体
similar
我想的是一个长条，长边是时间
ps. seal真是大喘气
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 13:49:08编辑过]
今天才5号，6月楼就有2000多贴了。。。。。。seal可怜巴巴问问题也没人回答:P
我得回家慢慢想
只要是涉及空间想象力的我就彻底歇菜。我现在对自己的这个limit看得很清楚了
me too.
It could be ur breakthrough point though
看水帖里的架式，要比现在水更多。。。一起名“灌水专用”，大家就真灌水了，搞不好还是不得不把需要讨论的话题发回这个帖来
有点frustrating，尤其是想讨论问题，嚷嚷半天都被淹没在大水中的时候
similar
我想的是一个长条，长边是时间
ps. seal真是大喘气
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 13:49:08编辑过]
写多了怕丢
我只能想象出一个运动的的立方体
时间是一直存在的，二维人也有时间轴的
有点frustrating，尤其是想讨论问题，嚷嚷半天都被淹没在大水中的时候
不是我不想讨论你的问题，主要是现在你提的那几本书都没看过，如果大家都看过，肯定会讨论的。这个月主题是123无穷大，大家在主攻这本呢
不是我不想讨论你的问题，主要是现在你提的那几本书都没看过，如果大家都看过，肯定会讨论的。这个月主题是123无穷大，大家在主攻这本呢
不光是我自己的问题。。。。。比如橘子同学推了几本小说，我不知道有几个喜欢看小说的筒子还能看见那个推啊。。。。。。。
只要是涉及空间想象力的我就彻底歇菜。我现在对自己的这个limit看得很清楚了
神话不就是人想出来的么，我们这么想，说不定能想出一部科幻
有点frustrating，尤其是想讨论问题，嚷嚷半天都被淹没在大水中的时候
人多嘴杂
不是我不想讨论你的问题，主要是现在你提的那几本书都没看过，如果大家都看过，肯定会讨论的。这个月主题是123无穷大，大家在主攻这本呢
嗯，是，KP想讨论的问题都没看呢
不光是我自己的问题。。。。。比如橘子同学推了几本小说，我不知道有几个喜欢看小说的筒子还能看见那个推啊。。。。。。。
这时候楼主就出来了，放到第一页！
不光是我自己的问题。。。。。比如橘子同学推了几本小说，我不知道有几个喜欢看小说的筒子还能看见那个推啊。。。。。。。
推书的放在电梯里吧。
都同时看是不可能的，主看一本，剩下的自己挑吧。
不光是我自己的问题。。。。。比如橘子同学推了几本小说，我不知道有几个喜欢看小说的筒子还能看见那个推啊。。。。。。。
楼主会把这个推荐做到电梯里去，这还是看得到的吧
写多了怕丢
我长帖都用word或者notepad，然后点“发表回复”之前再copy一下内容，基本丢不料了
推书的放在电梯里吧。
都同时看是不可能的，主看一本，剩下的自己挑吧。
现在人少只能这样了。如果有很多人，就可以同时开始讨论不同的书，看哪本讨论哪本，一本书一个帖子
电梯，只有本来就参与了的人才能看的懂吧。。。。。。。。我如果没参与灌水，只看电梯，就觉得满难catch up，估计自己理解能力太差不能怪别人哈。。。。。
不会吧，别的不说，推荐书目还是很清楚的
现在人少只能这样了。如果有很多人，就可以同时开始讨论不同的书，看哪本讨论哪本，一本书一个帖子
这是我的终极梦想了~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
我长帖都用word或者notepad，然后点“发表回复”之前再copy一下内容，基本丢不料了
难怪你总写那么多
现在人少只能这样了。如果有很多人，就可以同时开始讨论不同的书，看哪本讨论哪本，一本书一个帖子
到这个气候，就可以申请专版了，任重道远啊。
不会吧，别的不说，推荐书目还是很清楚的
看来还是我自己理解能力太差了。。。。。。我从来看不懂电梯，也看不懂前几个月的。。。。所以一直不敢参与啊555555555
看来还是我自己理解能力太差了。。。。。。我从来看不懂电梯，也看不懂前几个月的。。。。所以一直不敢参与啊555555555
这和理解能力有关系吗
我看了一下上个月的电梯，有两个表格就是推荐书目啊
难怪你总写那么多
其实还是我rp比你好
很多时候不用notepad、点了刷新也不会丢
要不可以在这里灌水涨WW，去组里发贴讨论书
对了，那里明明有100多个member也
看来还是我自己理解能力太差了。。。。。。我从来看不懂电梯，也看不懂前几个月的。。。。所以一直不敢参与啊555555555
不会吧！！！
要不可以在这里灌水涨WW，去组里发贴讨论书
这可以试试
看来还是我自己理解能力太差了。。。。。。我从来看不懂电梯，也看不懂前几个月的。。。。所以一直不敢参与啊555555555
推荐书目比较容易看到
但是讨论精华我也觉得不容易follow，一片字没有来龙去脉，很难说有多少新来的人能踏下心读
要不可以在这里灌水涨WW，去组里发贴讨论书
support!
要不可以在这里灌水涨WW，去组里发贴讨论书
也不错
话说我咋还是２威望阿，申请过了呀
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:10:33编辑过]
对了，那里明明有100多个member也
咱们这样的group，active/member的比例已经很好了。
我觉得，现在这个状况，既不分散人气，又能便于信息总结，只能先自觉限制纯净水，自觉限制跟书无关的话题。
filter的建议很好，不知道华人支持不？
推荐的书，看不出来category，有时候也没有说为什么推荐，而且p1好大的一片字啊，我经常都不敢看。。。。。还是我自己的问题，心不静啊
前面说过推荐书要写个简单的推荐文，然后做个link连过去就行了。可是好多人来推荐书就说个书名，也不说为啥推荐，lz也不好弄
其实还是我rp比你好
很多时候不用notepad、点了刷新也不会丢
话不要说的太满哦
对了，那里明明有100多个member也
都是去下书的
前面说过推荐书要写个简单的推荐文，然后做个link连过去就行了。可是好多人来推荐书就说个书名，也不说为啥推荐，lz也不好弄
嗯，来段网上copy的也行，不一定非要自己写推荐文。
这可以试试
那里的帖子好像可以删的，水贴也不怕了，挤掉水就是了
也不错
话说我咋还是２威望阿，申请过了呀
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:10:33编辑过]
谁让你的名字叫蜗牛呢
前面说过推荐书要写个简单的推荐文，然后做个link连过去就行了。可是好多人来推荐书就说个书名，也不说为啥推荐，lz也不好弄
要奖励机制，如果说有个推荐文的就奖50/50/50，保证就有了
要奖励机制，如果说有个推荐文的就奖50/50/50，保证就有了
cow! u have 威望：17
KP 威望：20
What do u guys care? Can u redeem that for cake?
要奖励机制，如果说有个推荐文的就奖50/50/50，保证就有了
现在没人发分了。
原来莲妈一直爬楼发分的，好的关于书的讨论都有分赚。
当然我们看书说书也不是为了赚分。
cow! u have 威望：17
KP 威望：20
What do u guys care? Can u redeem that for cake?
care 不care也是自动给的呀。。。。。
也不错
话说我咋还是２威望阿，申请过了呀
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:10:33编辑过]
跳跳要攒一段时间的申请人数，才一起给批了。
那里的帖子好像可以删的，水贴也不怕了，挤掉水就是了
那嫩就要辛苦了，多去挤水了
cow! u have 威望：17
KP 威望：20
What do u guys care? Can u redeem that for cake?
好东西都是不嫌多的
现在没人发分了。
原来莲妈一直爬楼发分的，好的关于书的讨论都有分赚。
当然我们看书说书也不是为了赚分。
可以让楼主登记汇报么？
可以让楼主登记汇报么？
莲妈最近很忙，其他版面都没见到她来
有个土办法不知道成不成，每个常来的先占一楼， p1-p3估计够了，自己把自己的JH贴过去就是了
这个好，减轻楼主负担
可以让楼主登记汇报么？
或者自己申请奖励，每月一奖
那嫩就要辛苦了，多去挤水了
只要不是挤奶就不辛苦
有个土办法不知道成不成，每个常来的先占一楼， p1-p3估计够了，自己把自己的JH贴过去就是了
这个法子挺好的，每人copy自己有关书的发言过去。
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
带娃看医生去了，先闪。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:26:07编辑过]
有个土办法不知道成不成，每个常来的先占一楼， p1-p3估计够了，自己把自己的JH贴过去就是了
有个问题就是照样还是丈二和尚摸不着头脑
这个法子挺好的，每人copy自己有关书的发言过去。
would work
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:26:04编辑过]
有个问题就是照样还是丈二和尚摸不着头脑
那就需要自己写清楚让别人能看啊，顺便提高表达能力
咱们这样的group，active/member的比例已经很好了。
我觉得，现在这个状况，既不分散人气，又能便于信息总结，只能先自觉限制纯净水，自觉限制跟书无关的话题。
filter的建议很好，不知道华人支持不？
水至清则无鱼呀， 同学们
哈哈我发现我为什么觉得难读了，推荐书在最下面，还没翻到那里我就被吓回去了，根本就没看到该看的部分～～～～～～～～～～
有个问题就是照样还是丈二和尚摸不着头脑
如果是讨论书有关的问题还是要自己跟进，光看结论肯定不行
我知道站着说话容易，老大们整理这些信息肯定是非常不容易的，
水至清则无鱼呀， 同学们
嗯，我觉得有话还是要说，要是大家都觉得是水不灌了，精华也没有了
是的是的，辛苦大大们了，连随便翻都不容易，别说要整理分类信息了~~~~~跪拜一个先
莲妈最近很忙，其他版面都没见到她来
莲妈也在考试好像
跟健身版一样，月底自己报告自己的成果拿钱~~~~~~~~
有钱拿就好
Winning at small talk
1. I have joined or participated in at least one club or group activity in order to develop new business friendships or to meet new people this year
2. I’m conscious of “taking turns” in most conversations so that I can learn more about others and help them get to know me
3. In the past year, I have used to my contacts to help at least two people find a new job, get a date, hook up with potential customers and clients, or I have provided information for other networking purposes.
4. I go to at least two functions a month where I can meet people in my profession/industry or who are potential decision-makers.
5. If someone is friendly toward me, it is easy to be friendly back. However, I don’t wait to make sure someone is friendly before I am friendly toward him or her.
6. When someone asks me, “what’s new?” instead of saying “Not much” I often talk about something exciting in my life
7. At meetings, parties, job fairs and such, I introduce myself to people I don’t know and come away knowing the names of at least three new people
People spend money for two reasons:
1. To solve a problem or fill a need
2. To gain good, positive feelings.
In safe situations, make it a point to talk to strangers
Introduce yourself
Silence is impolite
It’s up to you to start a conversation
It’s up to you to assume the burden of conversation
Business icebreakers
1. Describe a typical day on the job
2. How did you come up with this idea?
3. What got you started in this industry/area of practice?
4. What got you interested in marketing/research/teaching?
5. What do you enjoy most about your profession?
6. What separates you and your firm from your competition?
7. Why does your company ___?
8. Describe some of the challenges of your profession.’
9. What do you see as the coming trends in your business?
10. What ways have you found to be most effective for promoting your business?
11. Describe your most important work experience.
12. What advice would you give someone just starting in your business?
13. What one thing would you do if you knew your could not fail?
14. What significant changes have you seen take place in your business since your start?
15. Describe the strangest incidence you’ve experienced in your business.
16. What was the best job you ever had? What was the worst?
17. What’s the most difficult part of your job?
18. How has the internet impact your work/profession?
19. Do you know someone who can help me ___?
20. Describe how the economy/election/summer impacts your work.
Social/general icebreakers
1. What do you think of the movie/restaurant/party?
2. Tell me about the best vacation you’ve ever taken
3. What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
4. If you could replay any moment in your life, what would it be?
5. What one thing would you really like to own? Why?
6. Tell me about one of your favorite relatives?
7. What was it like in the town where you grew up?
8. What would you like to come back as in your next life?
9. Tell me about your kids.
10. What do you think is the perfect age? Why?
11. What is a typical day like for you?
12. Of all the places you’ve lived, tell me about the one you like the best.
13. What’s your favorite holiday? What do you enjoy about it?
14. What are some of your family traditions that your particularly enjoy?
15. Tell me about the first car you ever bought.
16. How has the internet affected your life?
17. Who were your idols as a kid? Have they changed?
18. Describe a memorable teacher you had.
19. Tell me about a movie/book you’ve seen or read more than once
20. What’s your favorite restaurant? Why?
21. Tell me why you were named ___. What is the origin of your last name?
22. Tell me about a place you’ve visited that you hope never to return to.
23. What’s the best surprise you’ve ever received?
24. What’s the nearest surprise you’ve ever planned and pulled off for someone else?
25. Skiing here is always challenging. What are some of your favorite places to ski?
26. Who would star as you in a movie about your life? Why that person?
27. Who is the most famous person you’ve met?
28. Tell me about some of your New Year’s resolutions.
29. What’s the most antiestablishment thing you’ve ever done?
30. Describe a costume that you wore to a party.
31. Tell me about a political position you’d like to hold.
32. What song reminds you of an incident in your life?
33. What’s the most memorable meal you’ve eaten?
34. What’s the most unforgettable coincidence you’ve experienced or heard about?
35. How are you able to tell if that melon is ripe?
36. What motion picture star would you like to interview? Why?
37. Tell me about your family.
38. What aroma brings forth a special memory?
39. Describe the scariest person you ever met.
40. What’s your favorite thing to do alone?
41. Tell me about a childhood friend who used to get you in trouble.
42. Tell me about a time when you had too much to eat or drink.
43. Describe your first away-from-home living quarters or experience.
44. Tell me about a time that you lost a job
45. Share a memory of one of your grandparents.
46. Describe an embarrassing moment you’ve had.
47. Tell me something most people would never guess about you.
48. What would you do if you won a million dollars?
49. Describe your ideal weather and why.
50. How did you learn to ski/hang drywall/play piano?
The best way to get people comfortable enough to open up and express themselves was to look them in the eye and ask What’s your name? Making eye contact and placing the emphasis on the word your, rather than the word name, signaled to the person that they were important.
Chapter 3: Take the plunge, start the conversation.
Name:
Stay focused during introduction. Repeat the name back in your greeting. Nice to meet you, Debra. To help yourself commit the name to memory, immediate use the person’s name in the conversation. Refrain from thinking about your reply and concentrate on the other person’s name. Focus on the name, repeat it, and then formulate your answer.
If you do get distracted during the introduction and miss the name, confess! Don’t go through the whole conversation pretending your know the person’s name. It’s better to say something like Excuse me, I’m not sure I got your name. Never, ever fake it!
If you run into someone you’ve met previously whose name you cannot recall as your are standing in line at the movie theatre. Don’t wait for divine inspiration. Say I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten your name. Please remind me.
Never put off requesting a name reminder before moving on to chatting, or you will forget it.
Remembering names is well worth the effect. In fact, learning names is part of hosting the conversation. A host is always expected to know and use every person’s name, since the host is responsible for making introductions as new individuals enter the conversation. Acting as the host puts everyone at ease and creates an atmosphere of warmth and appreciation that naturally encourages conversation. It is also positions you as a leader in the group.
It’s better to give than to receive. It’s just as important to give your name when you meet someone – even if you’ve met him or her previously and think they should remember your name. Consider it a random act of kindness. Extend your hand. Hi, Patrick, Debra Fine. How are you? Don’t ever assume that someone who sees you infrequently will remember your name, especially when they see you out of context. Cut him/her some slack and offer your name when you say hello.
Chapter 4. Keep the conversation going.
Remember, instead of sitting back and waiting for another kind soul to start a conversation, take the lead. Think of it as if you invited that person to your home for dinner. As host, it is your job to see that your guest is comfortable. The same is true in conversation – try to make your guest as comfortable as possible.
When you talk into a party or a gathering, find a person to meet. It’s much easier to engage one person rather than enter a group conversation, so begin by looking for the “approachable person”.
Starting with a statement:
1. What a beautiful day. What’s your favorite season of the year?
2. I was truly touched by that movie. How did you like it? Why?
3. This is a wonderful restaurant. What is your favorite restaurant? Why?
4. What a great conference! Tell me about the sessions you attended.
5. I was absent last week. What did I miss?
6. That was an interesting program after lunch. What did you think?
7. Presidential campaigns seem to start immediately after the inauguration. What do you think of the campaign process?
8. I am so frustrated with getting this business off the ground. Do you have any ideas?
9. I am excited about our new mayor. How do you think her administration will be different from her predecessor’s?
10. Your lawn always looks so green. What is your secret?
11. We’ve been working together for months now. I’d like to get to know you better. Tell me about some of your outside interests.
12. You worked pretty hard on that stair stepper. What other equipment do you use?
13. You always wear such attractive clothes. What are your favorite stores?
14. What a beautiful home. How do you manage to run a house with four children?
15. I read in the newspaper that our governor has taken another trip overseas. What do you think of all his travel?
Chapter 5. Let’s give them something to talk about
Chapter 6. Hearing aids and listening devices
Chapter 7. Prevent pregnant pauses with preparation
Chapter 8. Conversational Clout
Chapter 9. Crimes and Misdemeanors
Chapter 10. The graceful exit
Chapter 11. The conversational ball is in your court!
Chapter 12. Make the most of networking events!
Chapter 13. Surviving the singles scene
Chapter 14. Feel-good factor
Chapter 15. Holiday party savvy
Chapter 16. Carpe Diem
如果是讨论书有关的问题还是要自己跟进，光看结论肯定不行
我赞成active member前排占座，然后可以给自己引领或者感兴趣的话题，写一段小结；也不用限制，同样的话题可以几个人都写，各个观感不一样，但要求是有小标题，独立成文，总结楼里讨论的性质的。从个人的角度，可以把自己的思路或者所得整理一下；从大众的角度，几十页的楼浓缩成几段观感不同的有头有尾的小文，也差不多得到精华了。
楼主再去找发钱的人商量，根据前排浓缩版发钱奖励。
楼主的电梯保证一下各个点的涵盖就好了。
有个土办法不知道成不成，每个常来的先占一楼， p1-p3估计够了，自己把自己的JH贴过去就是了
我觉得可行。
水至清则无鱼呀， 同学们
是呀，所以别把人气散了。
俺以身作则一下，small talk的audio打算周末听完。书我看过几遍，笔记没有记完整，先贴部分。
kp啊，你自己都说看到那么长的电梯不敢往下看，你这一大篇，敢往下看的可能也不多
kp啊，你自己都说看到那么长的电梯不敢往下看，你这一大篇，敢往下看的可能也不多
也是，对别人来说也没有用。small talk跟速读啊什么的一样是种skill，只能自己亲自读了来训练，别人的转述用处不大。所以也很难讨论书本身，只能顺带灌水:P
kp啊，你自己都说看到那么长的电梯不敢往下看，你这一大篇，敢往下看的可能也不多
我觉得长文短文最好都有， 有时间大家就看长文， KP这个总结长文， 对没时间看书的也可以把精神领悟一下， 最好在有几个短文，吧自己最有感悟的几点下下来，分析一下等等。
刚想了一下按书分贴的问题，只有看的时候才有讨论的激情，看之前当然讨论不了。只有正在或者刚看完的时候还能参与讨论，这就是为什么一月一本可以建这样的高楼但是文艺版就很冷清了。有办法能平衡一下吗？
如果文艺版的人都愿意看同一本书然后讨论估计也很旺，还是要人气
我很钦佩kp认真做笔记的精神。你有没有读书blog啊？
没有啊，我的blog是每个把月就换个主题，因为无长性。。。。。。。
也是，对别人来说也没有用。small talk跟速读啊什么的一样是种skill，只能自己亲自读了来训练，别人的转述用处不大。所以也很难讨论书本身，只能顺带灌水:P
Admire ur notes
How about sharing ur experience applying it in life? That would lead good discussion
姜还是老的辣呀。。。 哈哈哈。。。赞自己一下
没有啊，我的blog是每个把月就换个主题，因为无长性。。。。。。。
这样也很好啊。挑几篇po出来吧。
我看这个书是跟另外一本叫what southern women know about flirting，和7habits的public victory，一起看的，后来又和Dale Carnegie的How to win friends and influence people一起考虑了一下。
1。small talk从技术技巧方面解决了跟人讲话没有话题啊，转换话题之类的问题，作为技术学习很好。
2。flirt其实不是指男女的flirt，更是描绘了一种小女人的撒娇，和对人亲切的可爱态度。有的人可能不同意这个做法。我本人在内。但是的确亲见这样做的人得到实惠，所以打算看看有没有办法在不违反自己内心的条件下靠拢靠拢。
3。7habits这个挺有名我不用多说。从private victory到public victory，这里比较它关于于人相处的三种习惯。网上评论很多我不具体说了。
4。carnegie系列：主要是小故事和key point提点与人相处的时候避免和promote哪些行为。虽然是本老书，还是有值得学习的东西。缺点是虚伪的厉害。但是who knows,不断reinforce这些观点也许会变成自己真心的想法。
当然这几本各有不同侧重。它们跟7habits有重大不同，就是推崇虚伪。哪怕心里不太同意也跟人虚与委蛇。7habits说的是要真诚。我本人没有找到这中间的平衡。
有空再具体一条一条说。
KP同学脾气较认真，写短文总结来了。关于 The fine art of small talk. (Debra Fine)
我看这个书是跟另外一本叫what southern women know about flirting，和7habits的public victory，一起看的，后来又和Dale Carnegie的How to win friends and influence people一起考虑了一下。
1。small talk从技术技巧方面解决了跟人讲话没有话题啊，转换话题之类的问题，作为技术学习很好。
2。flirt其实不是指男女的flirt，更是描绘了一种小女人的撒娇，和对人亲切的可爱态度。有的人可能不同意这个做法。我本人在内。但是的确亲见这样做的人得到实惠，所以打算看看有没有办法在不违反自己内心的条件下靠拢靠拢。
3。7habits这个挺有名我不用多说。从private victory到public victory，这里比较它关于于人相处的三种习惯。网上评论很多我不具体说了。
4。carnegie系列：主要是小故事和key point提点与人相处的时候避免和promote哪些行为。虽然是本老书，还是有值得学习的东西。缺点是虚伪的厉害。但是who knows,不断reinforce这些观点也许会变成自己真心的想法。
当然这几本各有不同侧重。它们跟7habits有重大不同，就是推崇虚伪。哪怕心里不太同意也跟人虚与委蛇。7habits说的是要真诚。我本人没有找到这中间的平衡。
有空再具体一条一条说。
southern women flirting很厉害么？地域坑。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:52:23编辑过]
哈哈哈哈。。。
姜还是老的辣呀。。。 哈哈哈。。。赞自己一下
啥事啊
southern women flirting很厉害么？地域坑。
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:52:23编辑过]
你知道food tv的paula dean么？就是那么个感觉。。。。。
KP同学脾气较认真，写短文总结来了。关于 The fine art of small talk. (Debra Fine)
我看这个书是跟另外一本叫what southern women know about flirting，和7habits的public victory，一起看的，后来又和Dale Carnegie的How to win friends and influence people一起考虑了一下。
1。small talk从技术技巧方面解决了跟人讲话没有话题啊，转换话题之类的问题，作为技术学习很好。
2。flirt其实不是指男女的flirt，更是描绘了一种小女人的撒娇，和对人亲切的可爱态度。有的人可能不同意这个做法。我本人在内。但是的确亲见这样做的人得到实惠，所以打算看看有没有办法在不违反自己内心的条件下靠拢靠拢。
3。7habits这个挺有名我不用多说。从private victory到public victory，这里比较它关于于人相处的三种习惯。网上评论很多我不具体说了。
4。carnegie系列：主要是小故事和key point提点与人相处的时候避免和promote哪些行为。虽然是本老书，还是有值得学习的东西。缺点是虚伪的厉害。但是who knows,不断reinforce这些观点也许会变成自己真心的想法。
当然这几本各有不同侧重。它们跟7habits有重大不同，就是推崇虚伪。哪怕心里不太同意也跟人虚与委蛇。7habits说的是要真诚。我本人没有找到这中间的平衡。
有空再具体一条一条说。
虚伪 or not depends on us .
If one cares about others and really want to help/cheer others, then skills won't lead to 虚伪
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-6-5 14:55:17编辑过]
啥事啊
我就是自己得色一下， 人一天没解决的问题， 我20分钟就搞掂了
你知道food tv的paula dean么？就是那么个感觉。。。。。
OMG....话说paula 年轻时候很漂漂的。。。
我就是自己得色一下， 人一天没解决的问题， 我20分钟就搞掂了
赞，多余的时间就能来灌水了
OMG....话说paula 年轻时候很漂漂的。。。
Not my cup of tea, but i have seen young mm behave like this and get a lot of favors, that's my motivation for this book. 读完了也还是做不到，违反本性太厉害。只能尽量让自己开朗些算了。所以也不是要推荐那本书，只是说说自己读的感受罢了。