我想起来为什么我说她是亚洲老板了，三个月前有一次我处理同事间冲突处理得很好，当时全程都给她通气了，她说我做得好。 昨天她说当时我可以再多说些什么把事情处理做得更好。我觉得三个月前她夸我做得好，现在评估升职时就说还不够。就说我已经做到我的那部分了，甚至超出了， 她建议的那些话应该由那个同事的line manager 来说。她很不高兴，说why can''''t you talk to your colleagues like normal person? 我觉得她是在吹毛求疵，就说了you just like a asian boss/manager.然后她就冲出房间找HR去举报我了。 她一直是这个pattern, 到评估就说一些以前从没提过的负面反馈。 我觉得我应该举报说她说我不象正常人。 说亚裔确实是因为她经常说亚裔女性什么的。我不知道我说她会这么敏感，不然我就说她是个严厉的老板了。
龙沙宝石 发表于 2025-07-30 12:48 我想起来为什么我说她是亚洲老板了，三个月前有一次我处理同事间冲突处理得很好，当时全程都给她通气了，她说我做得好。 昨天她说当时我可以再多说些什么把事情处理做得更好。我觉得三个月前她夸我做得好，现在评估升职时就说还不够。就说我已经做到我的那部分了，甚至超出了， 她建议的那些话应该由那个同事的line manager 来说。她很不高兴，说why can''t you talk to your colleagues like normal person? 我觉得她是在吹毛求疵，就说了you just like a typical asian boss/manager.然后她就冲出房间找HR去举报我了。 她一直是这个pattern, 到评估就说一些以前从没提过的负面反馈。 我觉得我应该举报说她说我不象正常人。 说亚裔确实是因为她经常说亚裔女性什么的。我不知道我说她会这么敏感，不然我就说她是个严厉的老板了。
据我们公司的training，当你说"typical xxx" 而 XXX 是a group of people的时候，就已经构成了discrimination because of unconscious bias。 所以你现在应该就不承认说过这种话，就坚持她听错了，比如你说的是“typical unfair/bias boss” 之类的。千万不要承认你的原话。
你应该抓住是manager先说的why can''t you talk to your colleagues like normal person, 她说你不是正常人，你的应激反应，激起你的心理创伤了，而且英语也不是你的母语，完全没有歧视的意思，另外要像其他人建议的那样，把自己长期收到manager的不公平待遇和retaliation使劲哭诉一下，就控告对方想借机赶你走，威胁他们你要找律师控诉这种职场bully。反正就是话的确说的不合适，但是坚决不能认歧视，更不能签字任何你歧视别人的文件
不能任由HR的人说。 公司肯定有各种 discrimination/ harassment/civil treatment policies and protocols (often in Employee''s guidebook), 是时候翻出来仔细看看了。告诉他们不能不做 thorough investigation 就 reach conclusion based on one side story. That itself is discrimination. 把之前烙印女上司的言行逐条对号入座一下，肯定能找到各种 unfair treatment 罪状，一 一列上。也不用去重复你自己说过那句话，重点放在逐条罗列她对你的 mistreatment 上，注意语言清晰有力 and remain professional. Use bullet items to present your point. 这种种都很难对证，但不妨碍你表明态度，让HR知道你不是啥都不知道任人拿捏不会为自己正当权益争取的。
你不要解释的太多太细致，也不要反咬，只简单明了的说你完全没有任何歧视的意思，feel sorry she felt that way, it was never my intention to upset or insult anyone。 你对美国的规则了解的不够，你每一个挣扎说的每句话都在稳准狠的踩雷。 你说完这句以后其他的都不用再说了，在公司结论下来之前辞职。
My goodness. That Indian Bitch said you are not a normal person and reported to HR that you showed race discrimination to her. Definitely You should fight back. Her saying " you are not normal person": that is language abuse, insulting and disrespectful. The Indian manger demonstrated her unprofessionalism and misdemeanor. You responded " typical Asian boss" that has nothing to do with race discrimination. The Indian manger always say Asian women in daily talking, so you said "Asian boss". If you are a racist, she is a racist first and not better than you at all. The Indian manger''''s doing is a retaliation and abusive management , which is so flagrant and heinous. Talk to HR politely: based on what happened, obviously the manager totally had wrong-doings. Why you are a victim? You need reasonable explanation. You should emphasize: her verbal abuse triggered you to say "She is a typically harsh Asian boss ".
From AI: I’m not a legal expert, but I can offer some general guidance to help you navigate this situation thoughtfully. Your comment about your boss being a “strict and demanding Asian boss” may have been interpreted as perpetuating a stereotype, even if you didn’t intend it negatively. Since you’re both Asian, it’s understandable you might have thought the comment was harmless or relatable, but workplace sensitivity around race and stereotypes can lead to misunderstandings, especially when reported to HR. Here’s a breakdown of whether you did anything “wrong” and steps you can take: Did You Do Anything Wrong? Intent vs. Impact: Your intention wasn’t to discriminate, but the impact of your words may have been perceived as reinforcing a stereotype about Asian work culture (e.g., being overly strict or demanding). Workplace policies often focus on how comments are received, not just the intent behind them. Context Matters: Mentioning race in a workplace complaint, even casually, can be risky. Comments tying behavior to race (e.g., “Asian boss”) can be seen as inappropriate, even if you share the same background, because they may imply a racial generalization. Company Policy: Many companies have strict policies against comments that could be interpreted as discriminatory or stereotypical, regardless of the speaker’s background. Your boss’s report to HR suggests they felt the comment crossed a line. You likely didn’t intend harm, but the comment may have been perceived as unprofessional or insensitive, especially in a workplace setting where such remarks can be scrutinized. What Should You Do? Here are practical steps to address the situation: Reflect on the Situation: Consider how your comment might have been received. Even if you meant it as a cultural observation or shared experience, it could have come across as stereotyping or unprofessional. Acknowledge to yourself that workplace discussions about performance or treatment should ideally focus on specific behaviors, not racial or cultural references. Prepare for the HR Investigation: Be Honest and Respectful: When speaking with HR, explain your perspective calmly. Emphasize that you didn’t intend to offend or discriminate, and clarify that you were trying to express frustration about work dynamics, not make a racial comment. Apologize for the Misunderstanding: You can express regret for how your words were perceived without admitting to intentional wrongdoing. For example: “I’m sorry if my comment came across as inappropriate. I didn’t mean to offend or stereotype, and I’ll be more mindful in the future.” Provide Context, Not Excuses: Explain that you were referring to shared cultural experiences as an Asian employee but acknowledge that tying it to race was a mistake in a professional setting. Avoid Defensiveness: Don’t argue that your boss is overreacting or that being Asian yourself exempts you from scrutiny. This could escalate the situation. Instead, focus on your commitment to a respectful workplace. Learn About Workplace Policies: Review your company’s HR policies on discrimination and workplace conduct. This will help you understand the framework HR is using and show you’re taking the matter seriously. If your company offers diversity or sensitivity training, consider participating to demonstrate good faith. Address the Relationship with Your Boss: If appropriate (and after the HR matter is resolved), consider a private, sincere conversation with your boss. Acknowledge the misunderstanding, apologize for any offense, and express your intent to maintain a positive working relationship. Example: “I’m sorry if my comment came across the wrong way. I value working with you and didn’t mean to offend. I’d like to move forward respectfully.” Seek Support: If you’re unsure how to handle the HR process, consult a trusted mentor or colleague (without sharing sensitive details) for advice on navigating workplace conflicts. If the situation escalates or you feel unfairly treated, consider seeking legal advice from an employment lawyer, but only after exhausting internal resolution options. Be Mindful Moving Forward: When discussing workplace issues, focus on specific behaviors or actions (e.g., “I feel my work isn’t being recognized” rather than “you’re acting like a strict Asian boss”). This keeps the conversation professional and avoids misinterpretation. Be aware that workplace sensitivity around race, even among people of the same background, can vary widely. Key Considerations HR’s Role: HR will likely investigate to determine if your comment violated company policy. They’ll consider the context, your intent, and how the comment was perceived. Be cooperative and professional during this process. Cultural Nuance: While you may feel the comment was culturally relatable, others (including your boss or HR) may see it as reinforcing a stereotype, which can be problematic in a professional setting. Your Background: The fact that you’re Asian may provide context for your comment, but it doesn’t automatically exempt it from being seen as inappropriate. HR will likely focus on the comment’s impact, not just your shared identity. Final Thoughts You likely didn’t intend to discriminate, but your comment may have been misinterpreted as unprofessional or stereotypical. Approach the situation with humility, apologize for the misunderstanding, and focus on clear, professional communication in the future. Cooperate with HR, learn from the experience, and take steps to rebuild trust with your boss if needed. If you have specific details about your company’s policies or the HR process that you’d like me to consider, feel free to share, and I can tailor the advice further. Good luck!
劳工部法院判她歧视了吗？
yes!
这没啥，再下一秒美国人带枪上门突突的太多了。 不必自恨。让劳工部帮忙查查公司内部通讯，程序也够她们喝一壶的。说不定要settle.
typical sexual harassment.
不要签任何字，不接受任何分手包裹。
如果你有她和HR私人关系铁的证据的话，HR本人不该处理这事。当你向老板提你被bully的时候，她说你想多了，这非常不professional, 没有leadship，离开前保留好所有证据，即使离开后也可以找律师告公司。
前阵子我跳槽，前公司同项目的人立马也跳了过来，然后告诉大家他之前和我共事。其实我俩之前工作上没来往也不熟，但是我在前公司信誉非常好。紧接着这人立马为了挣表现踩我，我当时怀孕反应慢也只能硬着头皮抗。和这些人只能斗，不然怎么死的都不知道。
应该是，也难为她等了我那么久。上个星期我生日，她还又是拥抱，又是生日快乐的。每次中期或年终评估时都是这样，她好话好事说个没完，等写到纸上，我突然有一堆的问题，如果我不同意，她就拉脸软硬兼施，总之让我快点签。每次评估都或多或少地不愉快。
这就是HR in favor of manager的典型案例，要是反过来你老板对你说了同样的话，HR绝不会给她停职！
我也不知道她怎么搭上线的，一个月不到，她就出入新CEO办公室了。
所以我惨了啊🥲
你太厉害了，能说说怎么斗的吗？我真希望自己能早点长点见识。
开除 哪来的包裹？告的成功率微乎其微 别新闻看多了以为很容易。
都这么多次了，你还没看清她的嘴脸嘛？这种嘴上说得好，纸面上给你下绊子的事情，出现第二次的时候你就应该彻底认清她，开始完全防备她了，你竟然几次被这样对待还对她心存幻想，以后记住了这个教训吧，这个人显然是等着你的把柄很久了，否则你只是说了她常说的话，她竟然当场出门找人事告你？不是故意的是啥？
事已至此，你就咬死了她平常经常对你满口亚女，你听多了有样学样而已，她要是死不承认你就咬她说谎，反正也要走了，往死里咬她呗
说的在理。我觉得目前楼主的priority应该是理清自己的思路，好好处理结尾的事。路上遇到狗被咬了一口，也不用一直纠结那条狗为什么会咬人，move on就完了。
不能同意更多
跟HR谈的时候态度好一点 但如果文件上有什么出入千万不签
来而不往非礼也 到这个严重程度 如果是真的她黑你 你还不黑她吗 抵死不承认 印度人说谎话大话世人皆知 只不过在公司里面一级一级反馈太慢 如果是马上就要见结果的商务 他们说谎话大话面不改色你听了都觉得恍若隔世不在一个地球上 抵死不承认 告诉你上级她对你从来不认可 然后你赶紧找工作 你承认了你就是歧视传出去别人听到就是歧视 你不承认传出去别人认为你跟她那是分歧
我也是这么觉得，应该还有其他什么原因楼主没有提。不可能就这样莫名其妙的一个原因。
她一直是这个pattern, 到评估就说一些以前从没提过的负面反馈。
我觉得我应该举报说她说我不象正常人。
说亚裔确实是因为她经常说亚裔女性什么的。我不知道我说她会这么敏感，不然我就说她是个严厉的老板了。
没有文字的证据
HR 很严厉，不允许我说任何多余的话。当时我完全懵了。
重点来了，每次项目做完后，她以前许诺的东西一点也没有，比如在中期评估中， 总是临时加入很多过去半年从没听她提过的负面反馈， 还说还有很多负面反馈，简直一言难尽，但是她都帮我挡了没写上去， 我还得感谢她的意思。而且中期评估交上去也不会有人看，她的评估里也有很多负面的，她都觉得没有什么， 不用在乎。总之催我赶紧签字。还有一次连口头上都不愿意承认我的贡献了，说反正项目已经做完了， 这个客户也没有钱了正在裁员，以后也不会回来。
去年年终我问过她，为什么负面反馈当时不说，要等到评估时才说， 她说她也刚收到。那就是其他同事憋了三四个月，到年终一起投诉我？
我今年年初要求换老板了，公司不同意啊。然后她升了职。越说越觉得这个公司就是个屎坑。
烙印最擅长肚子空空，然后四处问人，二传手，然后适当时候，就对对手下死手。珍爱生活，远离烙印，必要时候，也狂踩烙印，不给他们任何学习工作的机会才是正经事
据我们公司的training，当你说"typical xxx" 而 XXX 是a group of people的时候，就已经构成了discrimination because of unconscious bias。 所以你现在应该就不承认说过这种话，就坚持她听错了，比如你说的是“typical unfair/bias boss” 之类的。千万不要承认你的原话。
你就立刻回信说你没说过这句话，然后把群里网友给你出的点子，用chatgpt润色一下，发给hr，倒打一耙，要hr必须调查retaliation的问题
这种时候了，为啥不能说烙印女. 真老实. 你这个事情挺严重的，千万别承认.
真急人 大家都在教你 你还一直说你已经承认了 你现在开始书面上一律不要回复 开始反咬一口 及时止损 反正也要走人了 怎么也要反告她一次 出出气 告她歧视 一直说你是Asian woman 不确定怎么写 列出bullet point 用chatgpt润色 然后自己辞职走人
另外，公司就是私有制和等级制度的地方；楼主最好走人准备，积极找工作；混个教训。
美国公司这边 烙印都充斥着HR, 其他人种很多连简历都递不进来….HR 代表的是 公司头的一方，不代表是公司弱势一方。
还有下次别提总族啊！！！！！！
你应该抓住是manager先说的why can''t you talk to your colleagues like normal person, 她说你不是正常人，你的应激反应，激起你的心理创伤了，而且英语也不是你的母语，完全没有歧视的意思，另外要像其他人建议的那样，把自己长期收到manager的不公平待遇和retaliation使劲哭诉一下，就控告对方想借机赶你走，威胁他们你要找律师控诉这种职场bully。反正就是话的确说的不合适，但是坚决不能认歧视，更不能签字任何你歧视别人的文件
就事论事，其他不用扯了。走人为上策。
问问这个，我正在转组，烙印老板让我教烙印接手我做的，我给了个文档但是老板要我手把手教，把我会的都教给他，怎么弄
确实，公司里的印度女的超级强势还喜欢pua
不能任由HR的人说。
公司肯定有各种 discrimination/ harassment/civil treatment policies and protocols (often in Employee''s guidebook), 是时候翻出来仔细看看了。告诉他们不能不做 thorough investigation 就 reach conclusion based on one side story. That itself is discrimination. 把之前烙印女上司的言行逐条对号入座一下，肯定能找到各种 unfair treatment 罪状，一 一列上。也不用去重复你自己说过那句话，重点放在逐条罗列她对你的 mistreatment 上，注意语言清晰有力 and remain professional. Use bullet items to present your point. 这种种都很难对证，但不妨碍你表明态度，让HR知道你不是啥都不知道任人拿捏不会为自己正当权益争取的。
你不要解释的太多太细致，也不要反咬，只简单明了的说你完全没有任何歧视的意思，feel sorry she felt that way, it was never my intention to upset or insult anyone。 你对美国的规则了解的不够，你每一个挣扎说的每句话都在稳准狠的踩雷。 你说完这句以后其他的都不用再说了，在公司结论下来之前辞职。
My goodness. That Indian Bitch said you are not a normal person and reported to HR that you showed race discrimination to her.
Definitely You should fight back.
Her saying " you are not normal person": that is language abuse, insulting and disrespectful. The Indian manger demonstrated her unprofessionalism and misdemeanor.
You responded " typical Asian boss" that has nothing to do with race discrimination. The Indian manger always say Asian women in daily talking, so you said "Asian boss". If you are a racist, she is a racist first and not better than you at all.
The Indian manger''''s doing is a retaliation and abusive management , which is so flagrant and heinous.
Talk to HR politely: based on what happened, obviously the manager totally had wrong-doings. Why you are a victim? You need reasonable explanation. You should emphasize: her verbal abuse triggered you to say "She is a typically harsh Asian boss ".
I’m not a legal expert, but I can offer some general guidance to help you navigate this situation thoughtfully. Your comment about your boss being a “strict and demanding Asian boss” may have been interpreted as perpetuating a stereotype, even if you didn’t intend it negatively. Since you’re both Asian, it’s understandable you might have thought the comment was harmless or relatable, but workplace sensitivity around race and stereotypes can lead to misunderstandings, especially when reported to HR.
Here’s a breakdown of whether you did anything “wrong” and steps you can take:
Did You Do Anything Wrong? Intent vs. Impact: Your intention wasn’t to discriminate, but the impact of your words may have been perceived as reinforcing a stereotype about Asian work culture (e.g., being overly strict or demanding). Workplace policies often focus on how comments are received, not just the intent behind them.
Context Matters: Mentioning race in a workplace complaint, even casually, can be risky. Comments tying behavior to race (e.g., “Asian boss”) can be seen as inappropriate, even if you share the same background, because they may imply a racial generalization.
Company Policy: Many companies have strict policies against comments that could be interpreted as discriminatory or stereotypical, regardless of the speaker’s background. Your boss’s report to HR suggests they felt the comment crossed a line.
You likely didn’t intend harm, but the comment may have been perceived as unprofessional or insensitive, especially in a workplace setting where such remarks can be scrutinized.
What Should You Do? Here are practical steps to address the situation:
Reflect on the Situation: Consider how your comment might have been received. Even if you meant it as a cultural observation or shared experience, it could have come across as stereotyping or unprofessional. Acknowledge to yourself that workplace discussions about performance or treatment should ideally focus on specific behaviors, not racial or cultural references.
Prepare for the HR Investigation: Be Honest and Respectful: When speaking with HR, explain your perspective calmly. Emphasize that you didn’t intend to offend or discriminate, and clarify that you were trying to express frustration about work dynamics, not make a racial comment.
Apologize for the Misunderstanding: You can express regret for how your words were perceived without admitting to intentional wrongdoing. For example: “I’m sorry if my comment came across as inappropriate. I didn’t mean to offend or stereotype, and I’ll be more mindful in the future.” Provide Context, Not Excuses: Explain that you were referring to shared cultural experiences as an Asian employee but acknowledge that tying it to race was a mistake in a professional setting.
Avoid Defensiveness: Don’t argue that your boss is overreacting or that being Asian yourself exempts you from scrutiny. This could escalate the situation. Instead, focus on your commitment to a respectful workplace.
Learn About Workplace Policies: Review your company’s HR policies on discrimination and workplace conduct. This will help you understand the framework HR is using and show you’re taking the matter seriously. If your company offers diversity or sensitivity training, consider participating to demonstrate good faith.
Address the Relationship with Your Boss: If appropriate (and after the HR matter is resolved), consider a private, sincere conversation with your boss. Acknowledge the misunderstanding, apologize for any offense, and express your intent to maintain a positive working relationship. Example: “I’m sorry if my comment came across the wrong way. I value working with you and didn’t mean to offend. I’d like to move forward respectfully.”
Seek Support: If you’re unsure how to handle the HR process, consult a trusted mentor or colleague (without sharing sensitive details) for advice on navigating workplace conflicts.
If the situation escalates or you feel unfairly treated, consider seeking legal advice from an employment lawyer, but only after exhausting internal resolution options.
Be Mindful Moving Forward: When discussing workplace issues, focus on specific behaviors or actions (e.g., “I feel my work isn’t being recognized” rather than “you’re acting like a strict Asian boss”). This keeps the conversation professional and avoids misinterpretation.
Be aware that workplace sensitivity around race, even among people of the same background, can vary widely.
Key Considerations
HR’s Role: HR will likely investigate to determine if your comment violated company policy. They’ll consider the context, your intent, and how the comment was perceived. Be cooperative and professional during this process.
Cultural Nuance: While you may feel the comment was culturally relatable, others (including your boss or HR) may see it as reinforcing a stereotype, which can be problematic in a professional setting.
Your Background: The fact that you’re Asian may provide context for your comment, but it doesn’t automatically exempt it from being seen as inappropriate. HR will likely focus on the comment’s impact, not just your shared identity.
Final Thoughts You likely didn’t intend to discriminate, but your comment may have been misinterpreted as unprofessional or stereotypical. Approach the situation with humility, apologize for the misunderstanding, and focus on clear, professional communication in the future. Cooperate with HR, learn from the experience, and take steps to rebuild trust with your boss if needed.
If you have specific details about your company’s policies or the HR process that you’d like me to consider, feel free to share, and I can tailor the advice further. Good luck!
别害怕，这是个公司，不是法院，也不是警察，这件事上你和他们有多少牵扯完全取决于你愿意有多少牵扯。你在他们那里就是挣钱，你要是决定不要那个钱，那就是你最大 😂 他们不能把你怎么样，你倒是能把他们当个屁放了。 书面的东西不要签。这不过就是一个你曾经打过工的地方罢了。
摸摸，几个人围你一个。 这个三姐就是overreacting, 乘机整人，其实大家都知道， 你比她位置还低好几级，一个小姑娘，就是说话slip of the tongue， 造成不了什么实质危害。 这个HR和她一伙的，不是什么好人，你在他们这里不可能拿到公平和宽容。
有录音吗？就算有录音，没有你的同意也不合法吧。再说，法庭审案还多的是当庭翻供的被告呢，就算你公然反口，他们又能怎样？可以说当时被他们逼迫着，情绪激动加害怕，根本不记得自己说过啥，英语不是母语，听错了，交流中有误解，太正常了。没说过就是没说过，楼主还觉得被老板和HR霸凌了呢……
Good luck and best wishes. Years later, when you reflect back, it would be part of your personal growth. Stay strong.