不judge本身就是个伪命题，每个人每天都是由无数个judgements组成的，任何事情任何人都会有judgement，这太正常不过了，除非你是个完全没有想法的人。而我们也无时无刻不在被别人judge。但是我能做到的是别人的生活，别人的事情，除非对方问我的意见和建议，不评论不提供unsolicited advice，keep my opinion to myself。至于我自己的生活，别人的意见对我没有任何影响。
不judge本身就是个伪命题，每个人每天都是由无数个judgements组成的，任何事情任何人都会有judgement，这太正常不过了，除非你是个完全没有想法的人。而我们也无时无刻不在被别人judge。但是我能做到的是别人的生活，别人的事情，除非对方问我的意见和建议，不评论不提供unsolicited advice，keep my opinion to myself。至于我自己的生活，别人的意见对我没有任何影响。 bellamia 发表于 2023-09-27 16:05
有句歌词是，放过对错才知答案 人生里除了少数的是非原则道德底线，剩下有什么是绝对的对错呢？用什么标准去judge呢？你怎么知道你的标准就是对的呢？ It’s not my business当然比多管闲事强，但是心底里的judge和看不惯还在哪里。lz问怎么能做到不judge，真正的不judge必须是能接受各种选择，觉得什么样的都OK，哪怕跟自己的选择不一样。 true test就是如果你的孩子跟你不一样，你会怎么看待和处理。 我反正做不到
有句歌词是，放过对错才知答案 人生里除了少数的是非原则道德底线，剩下有什么是绝对的对错呢？用什么标准去judge呢？你怎么知道你的标准就是对的呢？ It’s not my business当然比多管闲事强，但是心底里的judge和看不惯还在哪里。lz问怎么能做到不judge，真正的不judge必须是能接受各种选择，觉得什么样的都OK，哪怕跟自己的选择不一样。 true test就是如果你的孩子跟你不一样，你会怎么看待和处理。 我反正做不到
The Great Gatsby ~by F. Scott Fitzgerald~ chapter 1 In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” He didn’t say any more, but we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. Most of the confidences were unsought—frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon; for the intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally at birth.
翻翻字典： judgmental: 1, of or concerning the use of judgment. 这是个中性词，judgment的adjective form，比如judgmental error. 2, having or displaying an excessively critical point of view, a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason.
有句歌词是，放过对错才知答案 人生里除了少数的是非原则道德底线，剩下有什么是绝对的对错呢？用什么标准去judge呢？你怎么知道你的标准就是对的呢？ It’s not my business当然比多管闲事强，但是心底里的judge和看不惯还在哪里。lz问怎么能做到不judge，真正的不judge必须是能接受各种选择，觉得什么样的都OK，哪怕跟自己的选择不一样。 true test就是如果你的孩子跟你不一样，你会怎么看待和处理。 我反正做不到
update： 谢谢， 意见都很中肯，受益.
心里不judge，才能嘴上不judge。
很难
Judge 是一种乐趣
但跑去和对方说，就完全是另一个问题了。
既然别人问了，就是想听听意见。如果想说就说吧，至于对方听不听，那是对方的事。说了之后尊重对方的选择就是。
咋可能不judge，我看到绿教包头的不要judge死，但我不会说出来。
尊重
你就想关我屁事
就行了
尊重别人的生活方式 接受别人的生活方式 不关我事
把耳朵蒙上，眼睛闭上，在家上班，同学聚会从来不去，邻居打招呼装作英语不好。
re judge难免的，但是可以做到设身处地的理解和闭上自己的嘴巴就很好了。
人生里除了少数的是非原则道德底线，剩下有什么是绝对的对错呢？用什么标准去judge呢？你怎么知道你的标准就是对的呢？
It’s not my business当然比多管闲事强，但是心底里的judge和看不惯还在哪里。lz问怎么能做到不judge，真正的不judge必须是能接受各种选择，觉得什么样的都OK，哪怕跟自己的选择不一样。
true test就是如果你的孩子跟你不一样，你会怎么看待和处理。
我反正做不到
孩子是会尊重， 我能做的不judge 这个和对外人不大一样 对娃是无论她选择错了 我觉得也没啥. 对娃能闭嘴
对外人 ，就爱指手画脚， 明知对方不听， 自己嘴刹不住车. 楼上建议都很好， 闭上嘴就好了
少说多听 Judge别人大多站在自己或某个利益立场上 你当初看破或认为的事 有可能过几年或阅历增加后看法不一样了
The Great Gatsby ~by F. Scott Fitzgerald~ chapter 1 In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
He didn’t say any more, but we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. Most of the confidences were unsought—frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon; for the intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally at birth.
翻翻字典：
judgmental: 1, of or concerning the use of judgment. 这是个中性词，judgment的adjective form，比如judgmental error.
2, having or displaying an excessively critical point of view, a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason.
好喜欢这句歌词，放过对错才知道答案。
杨定一倡导的“臣服“和“参”就是这个道理。人生短短几十年，接触的东西都有限，judge 别人或自己其实是管中窥豹盲人摸象。想学会不judge，就要打开眼界和思路，多从更大的时空范围来看问题
可是在这点上能知行合一真的不容易啊…一不小心就又沉沦到自己的局限中了，就爬出来又跌进去，会对自己很失望。希望自己的意识真的是螺旋上升的…
得到灵感，我还自己总结了激励自己的屁论：除了健康其它都是屁。
共勉💕😄