我看过一本讲这方面的书，研究现在的孩子太脆了的原因 The Coddling of the American Mind 主要是爱护太过（夸夸夸文化）+没有适当的磨炼（不一定是挫折教育，就是自主选择和尝试太少） 外加social media的群体焦虑，群体受害者感受，让孩子特别容易给自己vulnerable的感觉
我看过一本讲这方面的书，研究现在的孩子太脆了的原因 The Coddling of the American Mind 主要是爱护太过（夸夸夸文化）+没有适当的磨炼（不一定是挫折教育，就是自主选择和尝试太少） 外加social media的群体焦虑，群体受害者感受，让孩子特别容易给自己vulnerable的感觉
我看过一本讲这方面的书，研究现在的孩子太脆了的原因 The Coddling of the American Mind 主要是爱护太过（夸夸夸文化）+没有适当的磨炼（不一定是挫折教育，就是自主选择和尝试太少） 外加social media的群体焦虑，群体受害者感受，让孩子特别容易给自己vulnerable的感觉
When he returned to school after summer break in September 2021, the rumor persisted, despite the fact that Reid was elected to be president of his dorm called the Dickinson House. His parents believe the election made some of his peers bitter, and they continued to spread the rumor further, they told the Times. The rumor was posted to a social media app popular among boarding school students days after Reid was voted president of the dorm, and Reid said the bullying continued to spread quickly online. The 17-year-old received a rape whistle and a book about how to make friends as a Secret Santa gift that year, his parents told the Times. "Dad, will this ever go away?" William Reid recalled his son asking. "Will it ever get off the website?" William Reid told the Times that he and his wife think bullying "is much more devastating to kids," especially when compounded with the "echo chamber of the internet and everybody knowing. In his son's case, he said, the bullying "produced a very impulsive act." On April 30, the day Reid died by suicide, a student who was disciplined for bullying Reid was expelled for violating school rules in an unrelated incident. Lawrenceville "allowed him to return to Dickinson House largely unsupervised where students gathered, including some who said harsh words about Jack," the school said in its statement negotiated as part of a settlement with the Reid family, the Times reported. "School administrators did not notify or check on Jack. That night, Jack took his life, telling a friend that he could not go through this again," the statement continued. "The School acknowledges that bullying and unkind behavior, and actions taken or not taken by the School, likely contributed to Jack’s death." The school has since made efforts to improve training and educational programs, House culture and healthy socializing, disciplinary protocols and general health and wellness. It will also contract with a school bullying specialist, contribute to the Jack Reid Foundation established by his family to help prevent bullying, hire a Dean of Campus Wellbeing and take other steps to prevent a similar tragedy in the future, according to Lawrenceville's statement. https://www.foxnews.com/us/elite-us-boarding-school-admits-failure-halt-bullying-led-student-suicide 确实令人心碎，学校责任无可逃避。网络的力量不可小看。
Jack experienced continual harassment by students, both in person and online, as the rumor spread like wildfire. During a Secret Santa gift exchange that holiday season he was gifted a rape whistle and a book about how to make friends. A classmate who had been previously disciplined for bullying Jack was expelled for an unrelated incident. While packing up his things — completely unsupervised — he falsely told other students that Jack was responsible for him being kicked out of school. That same night Jack put a Bible in his gym shorts pocket and wrote a note directing his parents to a Google Doc that outlined his helplessness before dying by suicide. 我觉得应该不是falsely吧。只是新闻不想得罪学校。 Before his death, Jack approached school officials trying to get them to intervene. Lawrenceville officials investigated the rumors and found them to be false — but never publicly shared their findings or told Jack, despite knowing how severe the bullying had gotten. 这个真的不能理解。学校都调查了，也不澄清和帮这个孩子正名。 Unlike public schools, which have to abide by state laws that regulate investigations and responses to bullying, private institutions have less strict rules for how they address bullying. 那么送孩子去私立的话，学校是否有针对fully的系列的policy，就应该是一个重要的考虑的因素。 https://nypost.com/2023/05/02/lawrenceville-school-student-jack-reids-parents-reveal-last-conversation-before-suicide/
白人家庭学校自由， 人和人之间更加本性毕露， 从小就是丛林社会斗出来的。
看来这种事还挺多，我身边也有一例悲剧
白人bully起别人来会更狠毒
白人也bully 亚裔啊，亚裔昨不为这个自杀？
这怎么会叫甩锅
原来是这样啊，我本来以为美国小孩更经造，运动队啥的
为啥亚裔同龄人之间少有很严重、或者说是严重到致命的bully呢？
看黑暗荣耀韩国也有严重bully
在美国亚裔一般都是搞个人活动，团体活动少，当captain或者学生会主席也少，自然冲突也少。
切, 难道所有白人都是社交中心? 28原则, 顶多也就20%的在社交顶端.
不知道大了一点的孩子怎么样 我娃四岁 已经很明显了 班上的白人孩子都能说会道、会social 会seek attention 有自己的小群体 能明显看出来哪个孩子有心机 哪个孩子爱孤立别人 亚裔孩子明显都是傻白甜， 都是萌萌小可爱。可能真的是种族差别。
我觉得不是，现在全球中产及以上阶级都是喜欢这种欣赏文化，这肯定不是主要原因，主要原因还是他们基因中精神有问题的比例高一些
这可真的不是种族差别，你到国内的幼儿园看一下，照样有孩子能说会道seek attention。到美国的亚裔可是经过层层筛选的，在层主身边的亚裔小朋友估计读书出来的多，就是遗传的nerdy，shy
Lawrenceville的学生，一年时间都被wrongly accuse of rape。最后自杀。这么悲惨的一件事情，怎么就跟白人对人际关系更在乎扯上关系了？
亚裔不在乎人际关系？难道亚裔学生在学校经常被无辜指控强奸别人而坚强的活着？
这件事情的关键难道不是冤枉一个无辜的生命，成本那么低。而一年时间学校，老师都不作为。任由一个年轻的生命活在被指控是一个强奸者的巨大压力，不公，和阴影之下。
这还是一个一年6万多的所谓顶级私校。这个学校的成年人，有做人的良知吗？没有一个人为这个被bully一年多的未成年人站出来。
精神伤害，羞辱，冤枉比身体上的伤害更严酷。因为这个未成年人有口难辨。他要承受的是名誉损害，是被冤枉的屈辱，是被孤立的痛苦。
很多亚裔在学校都被白人bully过。
bully jack reid 的人， 後來只是被學校勒令聽課幾天 然後回校 又繼續bully受害人 然後jack這個17嵗的男孩 就自殺了
我看了視頻和訪談 一家人顔值很高也很有教養 只能說 那個沒有受到重罰的 後面是不是關係很硬
白男之間的惡毒和言語 可以從他們中古時期的語言行爲 完全看得出來 這個bully不僅僅存在于男生之間 估計還有女生的鄙視 青春期的男孩 這一方面非常脆弱無助
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視頻在油管
报道没有写他的父母。但是我实在无法想象父母会让孩子待在这学校一年被bully。我作为一个成年人，如果公司有人如此恶毒的针对我，第一反应就是辞职，跳槽。竟然让孩子处在这么一个环境一年。能survive这种压力的那绝对都不是普通人。好比韩信忍胯下之辱了。可是一般人谁能成为韩信？
当然最可恶的就是学校，以及学校知情而无所作为的所有教职员工。真的是良心被狗吃了。
1 亞裔娃一般和亞裔娃抱團 亞男之間還是比較文雅友善的 和白男基本兩個團體 2 亞裔男娃對白女不那麽在意 不會以生命為代價 3 亞裔媽媽對娃的關心 可以用犧牲一詞代替 娃娃任何變化 媽媽可以第一時間覺察到 5 亞裔高中住校不算多在美國 不放心
這些導致了對亞裔男娃的反向保護
我是初中的时候被bully得很，一度想杀人，脑袋里设想了很多场景，幸亏忍住了。
我还看过一些娱乐明星的采访，比如席琳迪翁，谈到高中时被bully的经历，依旧充满怨念，可见被伤害的多深。
那说明心里更强大？？还是更脆弱？？
中国好学校少，烂学校流氓学校的bully很严重，初中就有堕胎自杀等等破事传出来了。
我认为是，亚裔视学业为自己价值的最高体现；而白人则为尊严，所谓士可杀不可辱。
那是以前，现在中国学校卷的，每天早早上学，7点多才回家，还有一堆作业，哪有时间想这些乱七八糟事情，前几年暑假带儿子回去顺便上我老家一个小县城一个小破学校上了一下，6月他们还没放暑假，学生们4年级已经跟我们当年高考时候似的，一节课一张卷子，每个人课桌上一沓子书，基本上整个学校都是nerd感觉，学生不像这边学校没有攻击性
其实就是主流人vs边缘人的区别。主流人都能说会道会来事，比如美国的白人孩子，中国的中国孩子，韩国的韩国孩子，，边缘人就就没那么会来事，比如美国的亚裔孩子。
所以真不要把孩子放在一个非常缺乏diversity的地方。一定要有足够的PoC的构成。我觉得白人文化里有不少toxic，往少了来说也是和我们家庭文化很不合的地方。
远比，可就未必。你认为被肉体bully这件事本身就不会带来精神伤害吗？肉体伤害就意味着双重伤害了。
这对父母的态度令人感动。没有哭天抢地的怨愤，而是想推动anti bully的制度上的改进，要求学校承认错误要求学校以后必须改进。这些确实都是很有积极意义的。私下里当然她们也会和任何失去孩子的父母一样痛苦。
我相信这样的父母教育出来的孩子应该大概率也是善良的。
是那个回到学校当晚继续bully Jack导致他自杀的孩子？
强大的杀出来， 弱小的被淘汰， 从小就是丛林社会。
是的，这件事学校的不作为简直是令人发指。
The rumor was posted to a social media app popular among boarding school students days after Reid was voted president of the dorm, and Reid said the bullying continued to spread quickly online. The 17-year-old received a rape whistle and a book about how to make friends as a Secret Santa gift that year, his parents told the Times.
"Dad, will this ever go away?" William Reid recalled his son asking. "Will it ever get off the website?" William Reid told the Times that he and his wife think bullying "is much more devastating to kids," especially when compounded with the "echo chamber of the internet and everybody knowing. In his son's case, he said, the bullying "produced a very impulsive act."
On April 30, the day Reid died by suicide, a student who was disciplined for bullying Reid was expelled for violating school rules in an unrelated incident. Lawrenceville "allowed him to return to Dickinson House largely unsupervised where students gathered, including some who said harsh words about Jack," the school said in its statement negotiated as part of a settlement with the Reid family, the Times reported. "School administrators did not notify or check on Jack. That night, Jack took his life, telling a friend that he could not go through this again," the statement continued. "The School acknowledges that bullying and unkind behavior, and actions taken or not taken by the School, likely contributed to Jack’s death."
The school has since made efforts to improve training and educational programs, House culture and healthy socializing, disciplinary protocols and general health and wellness. It will also contract with a school bullying specialist, contribute to the Jack Reid Foundation established by his family to help prevent bullying, hire a Dean of Campus Wellbeing and take other steps to prevent a similar tragedy in the future, according to Lawrenceville's statement.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/elite-us-boarding-school-admits-failure-halt-bullying-led-student-suicide
确实令人心碎，学校责任无可逃避。网络的力量不可小看。
A classmate who had been previously disciplined for bullying Jack was expelled for an unrelated incident. While packing up his things — completely unsupervised — he falsely told other students that Jack was responsible for him being kicked out of school. That same night Jack put a Bible in his gym shorts pocket and wrote a note directing his parents to a Google Doc that outlined his helplessness before dying by suicide. 我觉得应该不是falsely吧。只是新闻不想得罪学校。
Before his death, Jack approached school officials trying to get them to intervene. Lawrenceville officials investigated the rumors and found them to be false — but never publicly shared their findings or told Jack, despite knowing how severe the bullying had gotten. 这个真的不能理解。学校都调查了，也不澄清和帮这个孩子正名。
Unlike public schools, which have to abide by state laws that regulate investigations and responses to bullying, private institutions have less strict rules for how they address bullying. 那么送孩子去私立的话，学校是否有针对fully的系列的policy，就应该是一个重要的考虑的因素。
https://nypost.com/2023/05/02/lawrenceville-school-student-jack-reids-parents-reveal-last-conversation-before-suicide/
大部分人，成年人或小孩，都是一肚子坏水。因为一肚子坏水，所以没法摆脱恶劣的生活环境，因为生活环境恶劣，所以一肚子坏水。如此循环而已。
bully是几乎所有人的本性。真能个别做到不bully的，要么就是因为在bully底层，一直被bully，要么就是方方面面超脱出平常人了。
越是善良的人越容易被bully，职场也是这样的，也许父母教会了孩子善良，却没给他武装牙齿
我们初中也有一个女生这样受bully。学习还挺好的。
就是要自己变强，bully可以是最好的动力。
那个被开除的孩子因为被开除在学校收拾东西准备滚蛋，按说这种情况应该是house supervised 监督他收拾走人就行了，不知道为什么变成了一个欢送仪式，大家和他一起到house 外面跑步然后照相留念，期间有人对Jack 埋怨，因为这个被开除的孩子第一次拿学校处分就是因为欺负Jack 被Jack 告了拿的。第二次拿处分因为作弊。Lawrenceville 的policy 是两次处分就要被开除。所以这孩子走人和Jack 没关系。但是大家的敌意成了压倒Jack 的最后的稻草。 校方在这件事里责任真得很大，从任何一个阶段其实都是可以避免惨剧发生的。
听上去真的很诡异。
一个造成了这么严重后果的孩子被开除了，反而这么得人心？也许有一些新闻报道里面没有提及的其他信息吧。不然真有点难以想象。
我看到报道里面还说他选上了宿舍的president，那应该人缘并不差的啊？不然怎么选得上。父母也说他是有朋友的。他也找过学校求助，但是学校好像有了结果也不公布。各种信息和最后的结果结合起来真的有点奇怪。
这个对Jack bully 的主要人物是一个打冰球的中国孩子，那一个宿舍楼的孩子大部分都是打冰球的，就是文章中提到的Dickenson House, 但Jack 不是打冰球的，只是碰巧分到那个House. 那个house 的house master 之一也担任冰球队教练。选上house President 也是恶作剧中的一个，就是我们选你上，但是都不买你的帐，前后种种吧， 所以为什么说学校难辞其咎呢…
前几年，俄亥俄一个被bully的亚裔女孩（初中生还是高中生，我忘记了），就自杀了。
当然有，新闻不少
认识有打冰球的在那个学校的华人孩子，倒禁吸冷
白人群体里面估计bully很严重。如果老师和学校不作为，年幼的孩子心灵脆弱一些的估计很容易觉得人生没有希望。
我好奇那个被开除的打冰球孩子最后怎么样了…午夜梦回有没有后悔自己做过的这些事…
中国很多家长的确很像小学里的bully，心理发育没成熟过。