A Parents Plea for KINDNESS Forgive me for barging into your Nextdoor Newsfeed and Inboxes. I am not promoting my business -or- asking you to help find my pet -but- I am asking for my neighbors help. Our Son, an extremely high functioning Level 1 Autistic child (has the mildest of Aspergers type symptoms - you would hardly even know of his challenges). Truly a sweet kid -academically he excells- and has a few good friends - but perhaps is indeed perceived as 'different' than his school peers. Whether your child too is, Special Ed, has a different skin color, has different shaped eyes, wears religious apparel, is LGBTQ, a nerd - or whatever makes them 'different' - I beg you to remind your children to be kind. Our son is just entering the 9th grade - and unfortunately - like last year - he once again tells us the stories of the daily teasing and tormenting. I get it - sometimes kids can be cruel - life is sometimes cruel. But kids rarely see the downstream impacts of these unkind acts (stress, depression, crushed spirit, declining grades, social isolation - refusing to go to school). I am also attaching a post (I am not the original author) - I believe it captures my sentiment well. Thanks in advance - for considering - sharing this with your children. ============================= **We have a terrific school district and community - Please consider sharing and encouraging your children to be kind*** When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These kids have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organizations and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety, and assignments a battle ground at home. It is exhausting for parent and child alike. This is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness. For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not recognize their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Recognize that the "playing field" is not always a level surface. Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! Our world would be far less beautiful without them.
可能这个妈妈也不知道到底是哪个孩子teasing/bullying她儿子，否则直接找家长好好说可能更有效。 青春期的男孩，就算没有一点问题，也是有可能被bully。我觉得一般孩子最好的办法还是得有几个好朋友一起进出。人家也一般就leave you alone了。这个autism的孩子的不是说有几个好朋友，妈妈其实也可以拜托人家一起。 养娃就是修行啊。
我女儿小学的时候班上一直也有Special ED kids，大部分时间都是在自己的program里，有活动的时间就在一块。小朋友都很照顾Special ED kids，老师还说不要让她们把Special ED kids当baby，适度帮忙即可，不要事事帮他们干。 初中之后，有一堂课班上有个Special ED kid. Meeting with teacher 那天，因为都是家长，只有他爸妈带着那个孩子去的，老师上面讲，这个孩子在下面说，能看出来老师是有点着急了，因为一个老师一堂课也就几分钟时间。我回家问女儿，那个孩子是不是上课也这样，女儿说是的，但是大部分时间大家都是分组干自己的，不太会影响大家，但有时候确实会有打扰。 我想到高中之后，学习压力大，某些special ED kids可能会更难融入普通孩子。再加上青春期的小孩更是mean，所以真的挺难的。 以前在一个老美论坛上看到一个老美，提到自己有个special kid，说他孩子不可能有正常的社交，要安排自己的财产什么的给那个孩子更多的保障，很心酸。这还是在美国。
我女儿小学的时候班上一直也有Special ED kids，大部分时间都是在自己的program里，有活动的时间就在一块。小朋友都很照顾Special ED kids，老师还说不要让她们把Special ED kids当baby，适度帮忙即可，不要事事帮他们干。 初中之后，有一堂课班上有个Special ED kid. Meeting with teacher 那天，因为都是家长，只有他爸妈带着那个孩子去的，老师上面讲，这个孩子在下面说，能看出来老师是有点着急了，因为一个老师一堂课也就几分钟时间。我回家问女儿，那个孩子是不是上课也这样，女儿说是的，但是大部分时间大家都是分组干自己的，不太会影响大家，但有时候确实会有打扰。 我想到高中之后，学习压力大，某些special ED kids可能会更难融入普通孩子。再加上青春期的小孩更是mean，所以真的挺难的。 以前在一个老美论坛上看到一个老美，提到自己有个special kid，说他孩子不可能有正常的社交，要安排自己的财产什么的给那个孩子更多的保障，很心酸。这还是在美国。
Forgive me for barging into your Nextdoor Newsfeed and Inboxes.
I am not promoting my business -or- asking you to help find my pet -but- I am asking for my neighbors help.
Our Son, an extremely high functioning Level 1 Autistic child (has the mildest of Aspergers type symptoms - you would hardly even know of his challenges). Truly a sweet kid -academically he excells- and has a few good friends - but perhaps is indeed perceived as 'different' than his school peers.
Whether your child too is, Special Ed, has a different skin color, has different shaped eyes, wears religious apparel, is LGBTQ, a nerd - or whatever makes them 'different' - I beg you to remind your children to be kind.
Our son is just entering the 9th grade - and unfortunately - like last year - he once again tells us the stories of the daily teasing and tormenting. I get it - sometimes kids can be cruel - life is sometimes cruel. But kids rarely see the downstream impacts of these unkind acts (stress, depression, crushed spirit, declining grades, social isolation - refusing to go to school).
I am also attaching a post (I am not the original author) - I believe it captures my sentiment well.
Thanks in advance - for considering - sharing this with your children.
=============================
**We have a terrific school district and community - Please consider sharing and encouraging your children to be kind***
When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These kids have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organizations and clubs.
But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety, and assignments a battle ground at home. It is exhausting for parent and child alike.
This is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness.
For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not recognize their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people.
Recognize that the "playing field" is not always a level surface.
Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!!
Our world would be far less beautiful without them.
逃学打游戏不爱看书这些没法儿教，但待人好家长多叨叨他们可以听进去的
,然后喊一声： 早做检查早治疗。不要太担心治疗的钱。 很多州都有early intervention program . Therapy 的钱真的一分都不要自己出！ 越早干预越有可能在3岁之前可以有成效。
没用，如果十几岁了还在外面欺负弱者的话，绝对是教不好了，这东西必须从很小开始教，十四五岁这方面人格已经改不了了，相反逃学打游戏这些即使是十几岁也还是可以教好的
Teen前plea还有点用，毕竟小。 teen后就是个迷你社会，适应不了只能家长多担待，往好区送吧。 真相就是很扎心，special need，不让去正常学校，家长不乐意怕以后跟社会脱节。让去正常学校，多少有点不一样，很可能落单。Plea for kindness不是一封信发给大家就完事儿的。大家都是不看僧面看佛面，也要看看家长offer了多少kindness
你读不懂英文吗？读不懂就不要随便卖弄你自以为是很懂的样子！
确切点估计美国人才这样。欧洲白人不全是这个调调。 坐着五月花抛下过去从头开始的人，跟选择留在老家的人，mindset肯定很不一样。
希望所有孩子都被温柔以待，可是现实就不是这样。还是要让孩子更坚强一点才好。
非常多bully别人的孩子，首先自己就是被bully的对象。所以这是一个复杂的事情。
9岁可能行，9年级太晚了
是的，来美国的移民，从一开始到现在，都是筛选过的特定类型的人类
亚裔也一样的。 我们也是今年刚上9年级，有的课跟10年级孩子上的，对她们几个低年级最不友好的还是以前认识她们的abc，反倒是本来不认识的白人还有黑人对她们更nice。 这里的高中，确实社交压力很大，不像国内好几年都是同班，不需要每学期要从新适应。
對不能落單，落單的話，NT小孩也會被欺負。要麽就是孩子心理特別强大，不care
家里自家小孩子对打天天都有. 大人管不住啊。
我儿子小时候遇到的为数不多的几次bully以及现在偶尔遇到的不太nice的孩子都是华人孩子。
"往好区送" 并没有用. 大家不要有好区什么都好的迷思. 好区的孩子更聪明, bully得更巧妙. 而且好区的学习,升学压力大, 竞争强. 成绩好个性特别的孩子会被孤立打击. 普通的孩子反而没事. 这根本不是be kind的问题. 跟大家职场上的钩心斗角一样一样的. 美国的升学方式造成了校内竞争很残酷.
人类进化就是弱肉强食的过程、 哪个国家没有bully? 不要告诉我欧洲没有。
所谓的文明就是遮掩人本性的罩衣，克服人类本性里一些特点的得以群体进步。
家长却要怎么offer kindness? 到处送礼么？
我感触太深了上周末，排挤/落单真的是非常sutble的。我女儿上周末去合唱团表演，是个大集体活动，大部分孩子来自不同的地区。我送娃进去的时候，指定区域已经零零散散坐了一些女孩子们。我女儿就挑了个人少的一排走过去刚要坐下，一个白人小女孩立马用手挡着边上的座位不让她靠近。我女儿就撇撇嘴换了个地方。我女儿8岁，那片区域都是七八岁的女孩子们，白人女孩涵盖95%。当时我立马想起阿甘正传的一个片段，小阿甘在校车上那段。 我们家长很小就开始送各种文体课外活动，但真的从小就教育要being kind更重要更重要啊
初中之后，有一堂课班上有个Special ED kid. Meeting with teacher 那天，因为都是家长，只有他爸妈带着那个孩子去的，老师上面讲，这个孩子在下面说，能看出来老师是有点着急了，因为一个老师一堂课也就几分钟时间。我回家问女儿，那个孩子是不是上课也这样，女儿说是的，但是大部分时间大家都是分组干自己的，不太会影响大家，但有时候确实会有打扰。
我想到高中之后，学习压力大，某些special ED kids可能会更难融入普通孩子。再加上青春期的小孩更是mean，所以真的挺难的。
以前在一个老美论坛上看到一个老美，提到自己有个special kid，说他孩子不可能有正常的社交，要安排自己的财产什么的给那个孩子更多的保障，很心酸。这还是在美国。
不是弱肉强食。
bully人的熊孩子熊家长自身也是弱者，bully是弱的另一种表达。而且bully 被bully之间本来也有关联。说到底这些也是different的人，也需要帮助。
kind的才是强者。
为什么可以允许他们对打？我家从小就不允许。
这是个有趣的说法，很有道理啊，我以前从来没有想到过呢。
一般孩子，这一点可能父母可以尝试。
但是SPECIAL NEED的孩子，是很难做到简单的让孩子STRONG的。他们可能一辈子也不能达到想普通人那样可以defend自己的程度。
在中国这方面还差的很多很多。有特殊需求孩子的家庭，尤其经济条件不好的，真的就是没活路。
说的太好了。
BULLY的确实都是心理有某些问题的。
多volunteer多办活动，尽可能多认识neighborhood其他家长
这个年纪小熊孩子很多。。有个老美妈妈跟我抱怨，她家俩儿子一个上k一个三年级，第一天上学坐校车，那个三年级的不让弟弟坐旁边。。