高中最后一年了，找过无数体力工，目前找不到工作，麦当劳等都面试过，不能理解面试问题。她问我为什么我找不着工作啊，朋友们都打工，她找不到。我想着怎么也得高中毕业吧，说实话有时我想着如果学校都是网课多好，我替她做网课怎么也得高中毕业，她朋友开始申请大学early admission 材料，都讨论哪儿读大学，她问我她能不能也申请。我俩关系并不好，她脾气暴躁啥事都怪我，我每天搭配营养饭绞尽脑汁，我觉得自己都抑郁了。说话不能理解大人辛苦，没有共情能力，我做手术回来躺床上得慢慢起床她见我第一句话就是 where is my food?我这些年度日如年，天天想着让她搬走。
高中最后一年了，找过无数体力工，目前找不到工作，麦当劳等都面试过，不能理解面试问题。她问我为什么我找不着工作啊，朋友们都打工，她找不到。我想着怎么也得高中毕业吧，说实话有时我想着如果学校都是网课多好，我替她做网课怎么也得高中毕业，她朋友开始申请大学early admission 材料，都讨论哪儿读大学，她问我她能不能也申请。我俩关系并不好，她脾气暴躁啥事都怪我，我每天搭配营养饭绞尽脑汁，我觉得自己都抑郁了。说话不能理解大人辛苦，没有共情能力，我做手术回来躺床上得慢慢起床她见我第一句话就是 where is my food?我这些年度日如年，天天想着让她搬走。 jessiez 发表于 2021-10-18 07:26
高中最后一年了，找过无数体力工，目前找不到工作，麦当劳等都面试过，不能理解面试问题。她问我为什么我找不着工作啊，朋友们都打工，她找不到。我想着怎么也得高中毕业吧，说实话有时我想着如果学校都是网课多好，我替她做网课怎么也得高中毕业，她朋友开始申请大学early admission 材料，都讨论哪儿读大学，她问我她能不能也申请。我俩关系并不好，她脾气暴躁啥事都怪我，我每天搭配营养饭绞尽脑汁，我觉得自己都抑郁了。说话不能理解大人辛苦，没有共情能力，我做手术回来躺床上得慢慢起床她见我第一句话就是 where is my food?我这些年度日如年，天天想着让她搬走。 jessiez 发表于 2021-10-18 07:26
高中最后一年了，找过无数体力工，目前找不到工作，麦当劳等都面试过，不能理解面试问题。她问我为什么我找不着工作啊，朋友们都打工，她找不到。我想着怎么也得高中毕业吧，说实话有时我想着如果学校都是网课多好，我替她做网课怎么也得高中毕业，她朋友开始申请大学early admission 材料，都讨论哪儿读大学，她问我她能不能也申请。我俩关系并不好，她脾气暴躁啥事都怪我，我每天搭配营养饭绞尽脑汁，我觉得自己都抑郁了。说话不能理解大人辛苦，没有共情能力，我做手术回来躺床上得慢慢起床她见我第一句话就是 where is my food?我这些年度日如年，天天想着让她搬走。 jessiez 发表于 2021-10-18 07:26
高中最后一年了，找过无数体力工，目前找不到工作，麦当劳等都面试过，不能理解面试问题。她问我为什么我找不着工作啊，朋友们都打工，她找不到。我想着怎么也得高中毕业吧，说实话有时我想着如果学校都是网课多好，我替她做网课怎么也得高中毕业，她朋友开始申请大学early admission 材料，都讨论哪儿读大学，她问我她能不能也申请。我俩关系并不好，她脾气暴躁啥事都怪我，我每天搭配营养饭绞尽脑汁，我觉得自己都抑郁了。说话不能理解大人辛苦，没有共情能力，我做手术回来躺床上得慢慢起床她见我第一句话就是 where is my food?我这些年度日如年，天天想着让她搬走。 jessiez 发表于 2021-10-18 07:26
facebook上有些adhd父母的互助群，里面有不少很有用的信息。今天看到一篇ADHD的人自己写的觉得有用的tip，觉得很多都跟我对付我家娃的经验很重合，分享在这里。 == My name is Brian and I was diagnosed with ADHD in 1997. Since then I’ve completed school, attended University, served in the military and now work in the mental health field. All of the above wasn’t as easy for me as others perhaps but possible for anyone. I’ve been medicated and not medicated (mainly not) Now I’m looking at the next generation and I thought I would share my top 10 coping strategies. This is probably more focused towards teens. This is the group I consider most important but they aren’t in order of importance. Some were told to me some I worked out, some just happened by accident. 1. Time is everything - An ADHD brain finds it very difficult to subjectively judge the passing of time, especially when focused on a task. Devices like a phone or a clock on a computer are ok. But if you’re on another screen or your phone is in your pocket, you forget to check it. ADHD being close to an autism spectrum disorder, tactile reminders are great. Enter the wristwatch. I can feel it on my wrist and through habit development I check it all the time when I’m working or out and about. When it comes to deadlines or timings nothing will get you fired quicker than being late. As a parent if a child is doing something and they need to leave the house or bath etc. 15, 10 and 5 minute warnings go a LONG way. 2. Stay old school. Devices and screens are great tools however as above they lack a certain something when it comes to checking things. So chores or schedules etc. where possible make visual chart on paper or when noting something down in a diary etc. stick to paper and pen. There’s something about the visual and tactile elements working together that helps the information stick when compared to a device. For kids chores an actual physical chart of the weeks chores with times and colours etc. We will forget we need to take the bins out on Wednesday. We cant hold a schedule in our heads like that. And its a predictor of consequence and reward a huge factor in how our brains work. 3. Notebook Probably my number one. Similar to above. Have a list of tasks to do today? In the notebook. Say you’re going to do something? In the notebook. Noting things down, again combines the tactile and the visual and transferring that to a calendar provides the repetition for remembering the information. Also refer to point 10. 4. Read and re read. ADHD has been shown to be mainly an executive function disorder. The main part is “Working Memory” (please google what it is) ADHD people don’t have working memory or its very weak. It’s very difficult for use to hold a thought which makes comprehension very difficult. (Things like mental arithmetic are near impossible) When reading, read 2 -3 sentences then read them again (or more times). Slower yes but significantly more accurate. 5. Fidget focusing is hard. For most schoolwork or office tasks you’re going to be sitting still. For an ADHD brain this is torture. MOVE! If you can walk around the house and read schoolwork, do it. If you’re at work and have to take a call or make a call, take a walk (if you can). In situations where you must be in one spot. Use a fidget. I use a bike chain fidget or the most interesting feeling hair tie I can find. (In the military, on parade, standing perfectly still I used to wiggle my toes). 6. Routines. Due to the working memory issue and general distractions, routine, structure and habit development is key. Rather than adhering to times (eg shower at 7am) . I adhere to the steps Try and break tasks down into routines when it’s important not to forget. I used to forget to take my meds all the time. So now I have a routine around it and it’s done the same way each day (obviously items I need are always in the same spot. E.g. Shower, dry, MEDS, WRISTWATCH, kitchen, kettle on, coffee made, leave it on the bench, and get dressed. The 2 important ones are meds and wristwatch. But the markers after the key behaviour are just as important as the ones before it. If I see someone with a coffee or I feel like I want a coffee is a “backup reminder” and I can use my back up watch and back up meds that live in my work bag ( rarely used) This can be done with anything. It’s more about developing habits. We don’t have working memory, so the idea is to get it into our longer term memory and doing it so many times that we can’t get it wrong, so even when were absent minded we still to the right thing. (E.g. do you remember putting your seatbelt on in the car today or yesterday?) Most daily important tasks need to become the seatbelt. 7. Communicate. We are quick to get emotional. Non-physical emotions are hard for us to project (e.g. we’re angry we throw things and scream, we don’t pout.) This means others don’t pick up on how were feeling, until it's this extreme outward display. So tell people how you feel. Get used to the pattern of “When X happens, I feel Y”. The pattern keeps things calm and really helps you get your point across. Telling people what’s going on in your head and helps them understand and hopefully will build positive meaningful relationships. And people won’t be offended when your feelings seem out of sync with the situation. 8. Educate yourself Understand and learn how an ADHD brain works. Being able to tell people what’s going on in your head will help greatly in them understanding you. Even something simple like “ ADHD brains are quick to emotion, on a scale of 1-10 we tend to experience emotions at 8, 9, 10, its very hard for us to keep it between 1-7" Most people want to understand and are lovely about it. They just cant pick up on it. So tell them ( We don't do hints) To use an analogy. Non ADHD people are Leopards, they live on land, and they’re very good at climbing trees. You are a shark very good at swimming, the leopards can’t understand why you can’t climb trees. Your goal is to teach the leopards how to swim. 9. 1 thing at a time. Another feature of an ADHD brain is we aren’t good at future projecting (e.g. understanding that it takes 30 small steps to get to a goal, we dont even see the steps) which makes self-motivation hard. So often when we have a big job like cleaning a messy bedroom it’s too big and overwhelming to understand where to start. Train your brain and thought process to look at jobs as tiny sections. So don’t clean a room, you can’t do it all at once can you? What you can do is pick up the laundry, or dust a desk. (And remember this when writing your notebook). That comes into activities too, video games are attractive to us because they offer instantaneous feedback for an action we take in game. Consequences or reward. Remember this when your looking at hobbies you might like. (eg I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, instant consequences or reward) 10. Strengths and Confidence. People find it difficult to understand you. The stats are not in your favour. ADHD have a higher rate of schooling drop out, Marriage difficulties and inconsistent employment. You will face rejection. Learn to have a thick skin and be mentally bulletproof. NOT DISTANT from people, believe in yourself is what I’m saying. Learn to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. One of the benefits of the notebook is at the end of the day you can check it and see your accomplishments, which inherently self-esteem boosting. If someone you notice isn’t maybe good for your confidence or self-esteem let them go. You are different and that’s ok! You will find friends that don’t mind and they tend to be great people. As a parent, the number one thing is teaching them confidence. If they don't have high confidence and self esteem, the world will chew them up. At no point do I say I "suffer from ADHD" suffering is a choice not a state of being. Also telling someone they "suffer" is A ) potential limiting B ) against point 10. Edit: Apologies for spelling and grammar. I'm usually pretty good. But ofcourse I blasted this out in one go and didn't check it. Sorry Edit: Suffering point. Sorry again. **** Update***** Many apologies I can’t make it shareable in this group Was not expecting that kind of response. Just to be super clear I’m in no way perfect I still struggle sometimes and that’s ok.
高中最后一年了，找过无数体力工，目前找不到工作，麦当劳等都面试过，不能理解面试问题。她问我为什么我找不着工作啊，朋友们都打工，她找不到。我想着怎么也得高中毕业吧，说实话有时我想着如果学校都是网课多好，我替她做网课怎么也得高中毕业，她朋友开始申请大学early admission 材料，都讨论哪儿读大学，她问我她能不能也申请。我俩关系并不好，她脾气暴躁啥事都怪我，我每天搭配营养饭绞尽脑汁，我觉得自己都抑郁了。说话不能理解大人辛苦，没有共情能力，我做手术回来躺床上得慢慢起床她见我第一句话就是 where is my food?我这些年度日如年，天天想着让她搬走。 jessiez 发表于 2021-10-18 07:26
facebook上有些adhd父母的互助群，里面有不少很有用的信息。今天看到一篇ADHD的人自己写的觉得有用的tip，觉得很多都跟我对付我家娃的经验很重合，分享在这里。 == My name is Brian and I was diagnosed with ADHD in 1997. Since then I’ve completed school, attended University, served in the military and now work in the mental health field. All of the above wasn’t as easy for me as others perhaps but possible for anyone. I’ve been medicated and not medicated (mainly not) Now I’m looking at the next generation and I thought I would share my top 10 coping strategies. This is probably more focused towards teens. This is the group I consider most important but they aren’t in order of importance. Some were told to me some I worked out, some just happened by accident. 1. Time is everything - An ADHD brain finds it very difficult to subjectively judge the passing of time, especially when focused on a task. Devices like a phone or a clock on a computer are ok. But if you’re on another screen or your phone is in your pocket, you forget to check it. ADHD being close to an autism spectrum disorder, tactile reminders are great. Enter the wristwatch. I can feel it on my wrist and through habit development I check it all the time when I’m working or out and about. When it comes to deadlines or timings nothing will get you fired quicker than being late. As a parent if a child is doing something and they need to leave the house or bath etc. 15, 10 and 5 minute warnings go a LONG way. 2. Stay old school. Devices and screens are great tools however as above they lack a certain something when it comes to checking things. So chores or schedules etc. where possible make visual chart on paper or when noting something down in a diary etc. stick to paper and pen. There’s something about the visual and tactile elements working together that helps the information stick when compared to a device. For kids chores an actual physical chart of the weeks chores with times and colours etc. We will forget we need to take the bins out on Wednesday. We cant hold a schedule in our heads like that. And its a predictor of consequence and reward a huge factor in how our brains work. 3. Notebook Probably my number one. Similar to above. Have a list of tasks to do today? In the notebook. Say you’re going to do something? In the notebook. Noting things down, again combines the tactile and the visual and transferring that to a calendar provides the repetition for remembering the information. Also refer to point 10. 4. Read and re read. ADHD has been shown to be mainly an executive function disorder. The main part is “Working Memory” (please google what it is) ADHD people don’t have working memory or its very weak. It’s very difficult for use to hold a thought which makes comprehension very difficult. (Things like mental arithmetic are near impossible) When reading, read 2 -3 sentences then read them again (or more times). Slower yes but significantly more accurate. 5. Fidget focusing is hard. For most schoolwork or office tasks you’re going to be sitting still. For an ADHD brain this is torture. MOVE! If you can walk around the house and read schoolwork, do it. If you’re at work and have to take a call or make a call, take a walk (if you can). In situations where you must be in one spot. Use a fidget. I use a bike chain fidget or the most interesting feeling hair tie I can find. (In the military, on parade, standing perfectly still I used to wiggle my toes). 6. Routines. Due to the working memory issue and general distractions, routine, structure and habit development is key. Rather than adhering to times (eg shower at 7am) . I adhere to the steps Try and break tasks down into routines when it’s important not to forget. I used to forget to take my meds all the time. So now I have a routine around it and it’s done the same way each day (obviously items I need are always in the same spot. E.g. Shower, dry, MEDS, WRISTWATCH, kitchen, kettle on, coffee made, leave it on the bench, and get dressed. The 2 important ones are meds and wristwatch. But the markers after the key behaviour are just as important as the ones before it. If I see someone with a coffee or I feel like I want a coffee is a “backup reminder” and I can use my back up watch and back up meds that live in my work bag ( rarely used) This can be done with anything. It’s more about developing habits. We don’t have working memory, so the idea is to get it into our longer term memory and doing it so many times that we can’t get it wrong, so even when were absent minded we still to the right thing. (E.g. do you remember putting your seatbelt on in the car today or yesterday?) Most daily important tasks need to become the seatbelt. 7. Communicate. We are quick to get emotional. Non-physical emotions are hard for us to project (e.g. we’re angry we throw things and scream, we don’t pout.) This means others don’t pick up on how were feeling, until it's this extreme outward display. So tell people how you feel. Get used to the pattern of “When X happens, I feel Y”. The pattern keeps things calm and really helps you get your point across. Telling people what’s going on in your head and helps them understand and hopefully will build positive meaningful relationships. And people won’t be offended when your feelings seem out of sync with the situation. 8. Educate yourself Understand and learn how an ADHD brain works. Being able to tell people what’s going on in your head will help greatly in them understanding you. Even something simple like “ ADHD brains are quick to emotion, on a scale of 1-10 we tend to experience emotions at 8, 9, 10, its very hard for us to keep it between 1-7" Most people want to understand and are lovely about it. They just cant pick up on it. So tell them ( We don't do hints) To use an analogy. Non ADHD people are Leopards, they live on land, and they’re very good at climbing trees. You are a shark very good at swimming, the leopards can’t understand why you can’t climb trees. Your goal is to teach the leopards how to swim. 9. 1 thing at a time. Another feature of an ADHD brain is we aren’t good at future projecting (e.g. understanding that it takes 30 small steps to get to a goal, we dont even see the steps) which makes self-motivation hard. So often when we have a big job like cleaning a messy bedroom it’s too big and overwhelming to understand where to start. Train your brain and thought process to look at jobs as tiny sections. So don’t clean a room, you can’t do it all at once can you? What you can do is pick up the laundry, or dust a desk. (And remember this when writing your notebook). That comes into activities too, video games are attractive to us because they offer instantaneous feedback for an action we take in game. Consequences or reward. Remember this when your looking at hobbies you might like. (eg I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, instant consequences or reward) 10. Strengths and Confidence. People find it difficult to understand you. The stats are not in your favour. ADHD have a higher rate of schooling drop out, Marriage difficulties and inconsistent employment. You will face rejection. Learn to have a thick skin and be mentally bulletproof. NOT DISTANT from people, believe in yourself is what I’m saying. Learn to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. One of the benefits of the notebook is at the end of the day you can check it and see your accomplishments, which inherently self-esteem boosting. If someone you notice isn’t maybe good for your confidence or self-esteem let them go. You are different and that’s ok! You will find friends that don’t mind and they tend to be great people. As a parent, the number one thing is teaching them confidence. If they don't have high confidence and self esteem, the world will chew them up. At no point do I say I "suffer from ADHD" suffering is a choice not a state of being. Also telling someone they "suffer" is A ) potential limiting B ) against point 10. Edit: Apologies for spelling and grammar. I'm usually pretty good. But ofcourse I blasted this out in one go and didn't check it. Sorry Edit: Suffering point. Sorry again. **** Update***** Many apologies I can’t make it shareable in this group Was not expecting that kind of response. Just to be super clear I’m in no way perfect I still struggle sometimes and that’s ok. babyduck 发表于 2021-10-18 12:58
facebook上有些adhd父母的互助群，里面有不少很有用的信息。今天看到一篇ADHD的人自己写的觉得有用的tip，觉得很多都跟我对付我家娃的经验很重合，分享在这里。 == My name is Brian and I was diagnosed with ADHD in 1997. Since then I’ve completed school, attended University, served in the military and now work in the mental health field. All of the above wasn’t as easy for me as others perhaps but possible for anyone. I’ve been medicated and not medicated (mainly not) Now I’m looking at the next generation and I thought I would share my top 10 coping strategies. This is probably more focused towards teens. This is the group I consider most important but they aren’t in order of importance. Some were told to me some I worked out, some just happened by accident. 1. Time is everything - An ADHD brain finds it very difficult to subjectively judge the passing of time, especially when focused on a task. Devices like a phone or a clock on a computer are ok. But if you’re on another screen or your phone is in your pocket, you forget to check it. ADHD being close to an autism spectrum disorder, tactile reminders are great. Enter the wristwatch. I can feel it on my wrist and through habit development I check it all the time when I’m working or out and about. When it comes to deadlines or timings nothing will get you fired quicker than being late. As a parent if a child is doing something and they need to leave the house or bath etc. 15, 10 and 5 minute warnings go a LONG way. 2. Stay old school. Devices and screens are great tools however as above they lack a certain something when it comes to checking things. So chores or schedules etc. where possible make visual chart on paper or when noting something down in a diary etc. stick to paper and pen. There’s something about the visual and tactile elements working together that helps the information stick when compared to a device. For kids chores an actual physical chart of the weeks chores with times and colours etc. We will forget we need to take the bins out on Wednesday. We cant hold a schedule in our heads like that. And its a predictor of consequence and reward a huge factor in how our brains work. 3. Notebook Probably my number one. Similar to above. Have a list of tasks to do today? In the notebook. Say you’re going to do something? In the notebook. Noting things down, again combines the tactile and the visual and transferring that to a calendar provides the repetition for remembering the information. Also refer to point 10. 4. Read and re read. ADHD has been shown to be mainly an executive function disorder. The main part is “Working Memory” (please google what it is) ADHD people don’t have working memory or its very weak. It’s very difficult for use to hold a thought which makes comprehension very difficult. (Things like mental arithmetic are near impossible) When reading, read 2 -3 sentences then read them again (or more times). Slower yes but significantly more accurate. 5. Fidget focusing is hard. For most schoolwork or office tasks you’re going to be sitting still. For an ADHD brain this is torture. MOVE! If you can walk around the house and read schoolwork, do it. If you’re at work and have to take a call or make a call, take a walk (if you can). In situations where you must be in one spot. Use a fidget. I use a bike chain fidget or the most interesting feeling hair tie I can find. (In the military, on parade, standing perfectly still I used to wiggle my toes). 6. Routines. Due to the working memory issue and general distractions, routine, structure and habit development is key. Rather than adhering to times (eg shower at 7am) . I adhere to the steps Try and break tasks down into routines when it’s important not to forget. I used to forget to take my meds all the time. So now I have a routine around it and it’s done the same way each day (obviously items I need are always in the same spot. E.g. Shower, dry, MEDS, WRISTWATCH, kitchen, kettle on, coffee made, leave it on the bench, and get dressed. The 2 important ones are meds and wristwatch. But the markers after the key behaviour are just as important as the ones before it. If I see someone with a coffee or I feel like I want a coffee is a “backup reminder” and I can use my back up watch and back up meds that live in my work bag ( rarely used) This can be done with anything. It’s more about developing habits. We don’t have working memory, so the idea is to get it into our longer term memory and doing it so many times that we can’t get it wrong, so even when were absent minded we still to the right thing. (E.g. do you remember putting your seatbelt on in the car today or yesterday?) Most daily important tasks need to become the seatbelt. 7. Communicate. We are quick to get emotional. Non-physical emotions are hard for us to project (e.g. we’re angry we throw things and scream, we don’t pout.) This means others don’t pick up on how were feeling, until it's this extreme outward display. So tell people how you feel. Get used to the pattern of “When X happens, I feel Y”. The pattern keeps things calm and really helps you get your point across. Telling people what’s going on in your head and helps them understand and hopefully will build positive meaningful relationships. And people won’t be offended when your feelings seem out of sync with the situation. 8. Educate yourself Understand and learn how an ADHD brain works. Being able to tell people what’s going on in your head will help greatly in them understanding you. Even something simple like “ ADHD brains are quick to emotion, on a scale of 1-10 we tend to experience emotions at 8, 9, 10, its very hard for us to keep it between 1-7" Most people want to understand and are lovely about it. They just cant pick up on it. So tell them ( We don't do hints) To use an analogy. Non ADHD people are Leopards, they live on land, and they’re very good at climbing trees. You are a shark very good at swimming, the leopards can’t understand why you can’t climb trees. Your goal is to teach the leopards how to swim. 9. 1 thing at a time. Another feature of an ADHD brain is we aren’t good at future projecting (e.g. understanding that it takes 30 small steps to get to a goal, we dont even see the steps) which makes self-motivation hard. So often when we have a big job like cleaning a messy bedroom it’s too big and overwhelming to understand where to start. Train your brain and thought process to look at jobs as tiny sections. So don’t clean a room, you can’t do it all at once can you? What you can do is pick up the laundry, or dust a desk. (And remember this when writing your notebook). That comes into activities too, video games are attractive to us because they offer instantaneous feedback for an action we take in game. Consequences or reward. Remember this when your looking at hobbies you might like. (eg I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, instant consequences or reward) 10. Strengths and Confidence. People find it difficult to understand you. The stats are not in your favour. ADHD have a higher rate of schooling drop out, Marriage difficulties and inconsistent employment. You will face rejection. Learn to have a thick skin and be mentally bulletproof. NOT DISTANT from people, believe in yourself is what I’m saying. Learn to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. One of the benefits of the notebook is at the end of the day you can check it and see your accomplishments, which inherently self-esteem boosting. If someone you notice isn’t maybe good for your confidence or self-esteem let them go. You are different and that’s ok! You will find friends that don’t mind and they tend to be great people. As a parent, the number one thing is teaching them confidence. If they don't have high confidence and self esteem, the world will chew them up. At no point do I say I "suffer from ADHD" suffering is a choice not a state of being. Also telling someone they "suffer" is A ) potential limiting B ) against point 10. Edit: Apologies for spelling and grammar. I'm usually pretty good. But ofcourse I blasted this out in one go and didn't check it. Sorry Edit: Suffering point. Sorry again. **** Update***** Many apologies I can’t make it shareable in this group Was not expecting that kind of response. Just to be super clear I’m in no way perfect I still struggle sometimes and that’s ok. babyduck 发表于 2021-10-18 12:58
沃尔玛还有一些连锁超市经常收这种有些残障的人员，作为他们回报社会的一部分。我们nextdoor讨论过好几次。我自己也遇到过，帮着装箱装袋子（不需要收银）。就是能看出来ADHD，会莫名其妙的做一些动作，说一些活。应该比你女儿情况严重。
高中文凭对于她意义不大。可以尽快去超市面试。
可以去craiglist上找类似于painter，水管工这种的招工。比如水管工，好的单位都是1+1，其中一个人帮助打下手那种，不需要任何技术。割草。四处都在找人割草扫雪，留个手机就能暂时找到一些工作。
还有一个工作，对男生，就是去moving company，四处都在招人。
Walmart 没给面试，16，7的女孩水管工，割草等她不愿意申请这类，我也不能逼着申请。
再去别的连锁超市问问。
我觉得不应该嫌弃体力活。隔壁是一个大厂的老板，他家娃到14岁立刻送去打工，从底层搬东西干起。我家孩子也是，最低工资他们也干。
我从小就是add 我自己都不知道，就知道上课几乎从来不听课，特别是化学物理之类不感兴趣的，要不发呆神游要不看小说要不睡大觉， 晚自习基本解一道题就睡着了，醒了继续做又睡着了，一晚上做1-2道题。高中平时成绩很一般20名到40名徘徊。最后高考知道压力了，拼命学习，高考爆发考的很好。大学控制力慢慢提高了，更好了。
这东西遗传，所以现在家里也是有个ADHD, 很聪明，就是好动注意力不行丢三落四，情绪控制不行，执行力不行，各种 executive function 都不行。非常challenging, 对父母耐心考验极大。
有我自己的经验来说，做父母的不要太过于发愁，很多会outgrow. 我现在也好好的。
有点难，也是可以的。找到好的partner可以弥补一些，当然，找到好的partner本身就需要大量试错和社交能力。
美国讲平时成绩的体系对孩子考验更大
这个可能不仅仅是ADHD了。ADHD经常伴随其他mental disease 一同出现，还是问问医生吧
一把辛酸泪，我觉得白搭，得她觉得才行啊。我家老大14岁开始打工。这个老二懒得要死，有时候觉得她可怜有时候恨她，就是不体谅别人。很崩溃。
她有没有其它诊断？看上去共情能力差，不能理解面试题目，也有ASD的特征。学校提供IEP吗？一般可以在学区待到21岁做职业训练帮助找工作。
减少剂量。我偶尔睡不着会用半片，吃一片第二天会困
adhd会在某一领域特别牛，高度专注，这可以是任何领域，包括business。
肯定是医生诊断出来的啊，我家的从小就看专家，她有celiac disease,饮食调整。
近几年精神方面出问题的小孩特别多。认识的人里就一大把。自闭症，ADHD，焦虑和抑郁症为主。感觉一半家庭被这个东西困扰。
还是尽量帮她高中毕业吧，之后可以考虑先上社区大学啥的。
你说的这些我家孩子都有，除了学习还好。孩子更不容易，需要父母的理解和包容。我很反感老公成天对孩子说你这个不行那个不行的。孩子很受伤，昨天直接对爸爸说你不要管我升学的事了
别呀，我觉得还是要帮助她找到找到她的兴趣所在，ADHD的人对自己感兴趣的东西会非常专注完成非常好。让她都试试。不是谁都要当科学家，医生，律师，工程师的。看看音乐艺术等等有没有天分。
你的孩子们是不是程度比较严重的ADHD？他们有没有非常感兴趣的学科或者课外活动，能够吸引他们长时间保持专注的？
pat pat太辛苦了，看看孩子有什么喜欢和擅长的科目，扬长避短吧。很多ADHD的孩子都比较有创造力想象力，也许你的女儿更合适艺术或者文体类的工作，数学不擅长没什么的。
感觉你的女儿不是（或者不仅仅是）ADHD吧，是不是high functional autistic? 如果能确诊，可以联系当地的福利部门，会有一些给这些孩子的特殊职业培训和工作机会。
听着不仅是adhd的问题了吧。感觉是有其他行为上的问题。 说实话我听lz你的描述觉得这个孩子非常惹人厌。你还是让她找份工作搬走吧。
没觉得孩子有比父母更不容易的了。 我们小时候在国内没那么多adhd的讲究。父母严加管教，学校严格要求，很多也都慢慢进入正轨了。 美国这里虽说对这些孩子的同情心是好的，但很多时候因为这孩子有这个病，所以其他行为的问题也都忍了，这种应对方式对孩子也没帮助吧，至少我是不能容忍这孩子骂她母亲bitch的。
应该是程度有差别，最严重的似乎吃药都不太管用。
好妈妈真不容易，送上祝福
观察一下孩子脾气，有些孩子的脾气像小狗一样。没有贬义。她需要臣服信赖一个人（这个人先要驯服她），有这个人在，她遵从这个人的指令，哪怕不理解甚至觉得不对，但因为臣服属性也会认真去做。因为信赖，只要这个人在她就有安全感，情绪稳定，甚至会试图体贴人，虽然会贴错地方....... 如果没有这个人辖制，就作天作地，各种行为不当，不讲理什么都出来了。这个人一出现，立刻偃旗息鼓...... 任何决定，这种孩子都不能做的，脑子里一团乱麻，说不去不喜欢的，也许是她喜欢的；说喜欢的，也许是不喜欢的，都要她臣服的这个人给做决定才行，当然这个人要足够了解她，也要够严厉，压得住孩子的脾气。孩子发现每次这个人做的决定最后是对的，就更增加了孩子对这个人的信赖。
== My name is Brian and I was diagnosed with ADHD in 1997. Since then I’ve completed school, attended University, served in the military and now work in the mental health field. All of the above wasn’t as easy for me as others perhaps but possible for anyone. I’ve been medicated and not medicated (mainly not) Now I’m looking at the next generation and I thought I would share my top 10 coping strategies. This is probably more focused towards teens. This is the group I consider most important but they aren’t in order of importance. Some were told to me some I worked out, some just happened by accident. 1. Time is everything - An ADHD brain finds it very difficult to subjectively judge the passing of time, especially when focused on a task. Devices like a phone or a clock on a computer are ok. But if you’re on another screen or your phone is in your pocket, you forget to check it. ADHD being close to an autism spectrum disorder, tactile reminders are great. Enter the wristwatch. I can feel it on my wrist and through habit development I check it all the time when I’m working or out and about. When it comes to deadlines or timings nothing will get you fired quicker than being late. As a parent if a child is doing something and they need to leave the house or bath etc. 15, 10 and 5 minute warnings go a LONG way. 2. Stay old school. Devices and screens are great tools however as above they lack a certain something when it comes to checking things. So chores or schedules etc. where possible make visual chart on paper or when noting something down in a diary etc. stick to paper and pen. There’s something about the visual and tactile elements working together that helps the information stick when compared to a device. For kids chores an actual physical chart of the weeks chores with times and colours etc. We will forget we need to take the bins out on Wednesday. We cant hold a schedule in our heads like that. And its a predictor of consequence and reward a huge factor in how our brains work. 3. Notebook Probably my number one. Similar to above. Have a list of tasks to do today? In the notebook. Say you’re going to do something? In the notebook. Noting things down, again combines the tactile and the visual and transferring that to a calendar provides the repetition for remembering the information. Also refer to point 10. 4. Read and re read. ADHD has been shown to be mainly an executive function disorder. The main part is “Working Memory” (please google what it is) ADHD people don’t have working memory or its very weak. It’s very difficult for use to hold a thought which makes comprehension very difficult. (Things like mental arithmetic are near impossible) When reading, read 2 -3 sentences then read them again (or more times). Slower yes but significantly more accurate. 5. Fidget focusing is hard. For most schoolwork or office tasks you’re going to be sitting still. For an ADHD brain this is torture. MOVE! If you can walk around the house and read schoolwork, do it. If you’re at work and have to take a call or make a call, take a walk (if you can). In situations where you must be in one spot. Use a fidget. I use a bike chain fidget or the most interesting feeling hair tie I can find. (In the military, on parade, standing perfectly still I used to wiggle my toes). 6. Routines. Due to the working memory issue and general distractions, routine, structure and habit development is key. Rather than adhering to times (eg shower at 7am) . I adhere to the steps Try and break tasks down into routines when it’s important not to forget. I used to forget to take my meds all the time. So now I have a routine around it and it’s done the same way each day (obviously items I need are always in the same spot. E.g. Shower, dry, MEDS, WRISTWATCH, kitchen, kettle on, coffee made, leave it on the bench, and get dressed. The 2 important ones are meds and wristwatch. But the markers after the key behaviour are just as important as the ones before it. If I see someone with a coffee or I feel like I want a coffee is a “backup reminder” and I can use my back up watch and back up meds that live in my work bag ( rarely used) This can be done with anything. It’s more about developing habits. We don’t have working memory, so the idea is to get it into our longer term memory and doing it so many times that we can’t get it wrong, so even when were absent minded we still to the right thing. (E.g. do you remember putting your seatbelt on in the car today or yesterday?) Most daily important tasks need to become the seatbelt. 7. Communicate. We are quick to get emotional. Non-physical emotions are hard for us to project (e.g. we’re angry we throw things and scream, we don’t pout.) This means others don’t pick up on how were feeling, until it's this extreme outward display. So tell people how you feel. Get used to the pattern of “When X happens, I feel Y”. The pattern keeps things calm and really helps you get your point across. Telling people what’s going on in your head and helps them understand and hopefully will build positive meaningful relationships. And people won’t be offended when your feelings seem out of sync with the situation. 8. Educate yourself Understand and learn how an ADHD brain works. Being able to tell people what’s going on in your head will help greatly in them understanding you. Even something simple like “ ADHD brains are quick to emotion, on a scale of 1-10 we tend to experience emotions at 8, 9, 10, its very hard for us to keep it between 1-7" Most people want to understand and are lovely about it. They just cant pick up on it. So tell them
不ADHD的人中也有这种类型的人啊，所以就是性格吧，并不是所有的ADHD都一样，他们也性格各异。我认识一个ADHD女孩性格非常好，但是注意力要靠药
抱抱，真的是不容易啊。孩子和家长都好辛苦。看下来你的孩子应该不只是adhd，更像是asd呢。
奶茶店呢？我们这边奶茶店天天招人
Mark
Thank you for sharing that.
肯定申请了啊，我们这儿奶茶店也天天招人，几乎凡是招人的地方都申请了，人家要么不回她要么面试过不了。
我觉得还是不要这样指责父母吧。大多数人都是普通人，养孩子也是摸索的，可能受自己的能力限制，但是没有人想去祸害孩子的
这个说的特别好。我老公很明显就是，我看他也差不多是这样控制的，正常生活可以做到。觉得如果没有自信心支撑，这种孩子过得会很辛苦，希望儿子能够早点grow out吧。我家小孩的爷爷和太爷爷也是这样的。感觉是一种会遗传的脑回路。
你说她交流有问题，店里这种与人打交道多的职位确实是拿短板去面试了。她有哪些擅长的，有没有试过只需要低头做事的工作？
我家孩子感觉跟您家的很像，但是我们没有做过测试，老师也没建议去做。当然我家娃没有您家娃那么聪明。 我家的也是睡不着，睡的晚加上很难入睡，习惯很难养成，另外学东西都慢半拍。 我想知道您给孩子用药吗？如果药物帮助不大，我们也不想评估了，就靠着家长耐心的引导和鼓励，希望娃是个普通的孩子就行了，不想强推
听朋友说有ADHD微信群的，可以去家小发个帖子问问。
为何有的小孩很小就吃药 一旦吃药是要终身吗
我家暂时没有用药，他才四年级，个子偏小，功课还跟的上，医生有建议过，我看朋友家孩子用药效果很好，但是他家孩子个子已经比爸爸妈妈都高了，8年纪了，功课也更紧，我想再坚持几年，等发育好了，功课跟不上了再考虑用药。
睡眠我让他带运动手表天天看，发现运动量大的那天深度睡眠的时间会大大增加，所以要是没有sports那天就规定他跳绳1000个，感觉对提高睡眠质量有些作用，哪天手表显示睡眠时间太少，周末中午让他nap一会儿，或者晚上9点前上床睡觉。睡觉的时候屋子里放舒缓的背景音乐感觉也有些效果，我专门搞了个效果比较好的speaker在他屋里，以前用tablet放，后面发现他自己破解密码拿来玩游戏，就换成了最老式的mp3. 他自己觉得听音乐做作业和睡觉都有帮助。
做作业我整了个大桌子，我坐对面，一边工作一边陪，常常竖着耳朵听他鼠标的节奏，有时候一听就知道不是在干正事儿，试过远程到他电脑上实时看，看到不对的就关，坚持不了，太影响工作了，试着让他在我边上坐着，他常常被我屏幕上任何东西吸引，现在让老大坐他边上做一起作业，我坐对面，暂时看效果还可以，姐姐也会提醒他，就是有时候会跟姐姐聊天。但是桌子又不太够大，现在准备换个更大的桌子
问了，感谢妹妹
你女儿喜欢做手工吗？善于做手工可以esty上开店，或者去艺术大学把高等教育完成，然后做一些wfh的设计工作。有些艺术学校对学术成绩要求不高主要看portfolio。 我是比较严重adhd的，成绩一直中下，艺术动手能力还不错。社会上与人打交道的工作我最多做两年就辞职了，我可以社交也能交到朋友，可是人际关系让我很有压力很累很难受。
好像儿医都先给做evaluation，然后决定给不给refer？
谢谢
看了你的评论，我就放心了，谢谢
抱抱你，也抱抱楼主。。。家有ADD的孩子确实是对家长极大的挑战，太难了。 家长降低期望值是必须的，必须要让自己脱离华人家长互相攀比的环境，这样对自己对孩子都好。我现在觉得华人扎堆的地方有毒，不管孩子是不是ADHD，我都觉得那股骨子里的攀比会在不知不觉中就把你吃掉了，先吃了你，然后再吃你孩子。
mark