翻译首禅诗:“春有百花秋有月夏有凉风冬有雪”(中译英)

p
pilingjushi
楼主 (北美华人网)
春有百花秋有月, 夏有凉风冬有雪。 若无闲事挂心头, 便是人间好时节。
宋·无门慧开禅师
Spring has flowers and fall the full moon, Summer has cool breezes and winter snow. There is in every season a beautiful tune, To hear it, try clearing your mind of its woe.
(毗陵居士译)
p
pilingjushi
前两句翻译基本直译,但后两句如果直译, If you have no frivolous things bothering your mind, any season in life is a good season 是字面意思,但我觉得诗意不够,也没有押韵,所以翻译时发挥了一点,可能有失“信达雅”?
p
pilingjushi
另外一个version, ABBA韵:
Spring has many flowers and fall the moon, Summer has cool breezes and winter snow. If you can clear the mind of all of its woe, Every season you live is life’s precious boon.
z
ziranjuan
Spring has a hundred flowers and autumn has a moon. In summer there is a cool breeze and in winter there is snow. If there are no idle matters on your mind Then it is a good time on earth.
p
pilingjushi
Spring has a hundred flowers and autumn has a moon. In summer there is a cool breeze and in winter there is snow. If there are no idle matters on your mind Then it is a good time on earth.
ziranjuan 发表于 2021-04-25 00:47

Pretty good!