转一篇刑事犯罪普法网站的文章。华人上很多高知，自己读一下其中关于discipline的段落吧。有点震撼，这网上竟然很多人觉得对四岁孩子忍受不了就动手没问题，还拿“圣母”之类的反语来攻击反对者。 是，这种教育方式在中国的文化环境下是允许的，也没人管。在美国，这种管教行为至少是游走在法律边界线的。即使被政府起诉，这里贫困线以上的家长有钱请好律师，也不至于真的被判罪或是取消孩子的监护权，但是，请读一下相关法律常识，无论有什么理由，你们下次再想手打脚踢小孩的时候，最好先清醒一下，你现在生活在一个法治国家，有很多法律保护小孩子不受虐待的。https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/crime-penalties/federal/Child-Abuse.htm Child Abuse Charges While all states have laws that govern physical attacks against children, such as battery or homicide, many others also have laws that specifically address child abuse. Though the language of these laws differs widely, they all prohibit any type of cruelty towards a child, such as physical attacks, mental abuse, and neglect. Many states also have crimes that specifically address other abusive situations involving children, such as sexual abuse. Child abuse laws cover the same conduct regardless of the state in which the abuse occurs. Assault. Child abuse laws criminalize physical attacks against children or actions that result in harm to the child. Minor injuries, such as bruises, or more serious injuries, such as burns or broken bones, are all abusive if the adult intends to inflict them upon the child. Even if the adult does not intend to cause the injury, or causes no injury at all, intentionally assaulting a child is abusive. Discipline. Child abuse charges often arise out of cases where a parent or caregiver attempts to discipline a child. Courts have determined that acts of discipline must be considered under the circumstances of the event, and the parent or custodian must act in the best interests of the child. An adult can use reasonable actions to discipline a child, but unreasonable acts are usually considered abusive. However, what is reasonable in one situation may not be reasonable in another. Courts consider the reasonableness of disciplinary actions based on factors such as the age of the child, the severity of the actions, the extent of any harm or potential harm the child suffered, and even the sociocultural background of the family.Sexual abuse. Sexual actions against a child are abusive. Children are not capable of granting consent, and when an adult engages in sexual activity with a minor, it is often charged as child abuse. Sexual abuse can be the result of lying, coercion, bribery, or demands—proving physical acts of force isn''t necessary. Neglect. Accidental harm to a child is not considered abusive. However, accidents are not the same as careless or negligent actions, and such actions are covered under abuse laws. Leaving children in a home to care for themselves, for example, can be an abusive act if the children are too young to look after themselves. Failing to provide regular medical care, adequate shelter, or emotional support can also count as abuse. Threats. Many state laws include verbal threats and emotional abuse as child abuse. In these situations, the child does not need to suffer any actual physical harm for an act to be abusive. A caregiver who, for example, repeatedly humiliates or terrorizes a child has committed child abuse. Parents who subject their children to the sight of physical or verbal attacks may also commit child abuse.
“the parent or custodian must act in the best interests of the child”“unreasonable acts are usually considered abusive““Courts consider the reasonableness of disciplinary actions based on factors such as the age of the child, the severity of the actions, the extent of any harm or potential harm the child suffered” 法律并没说不能用体罚管教，而是说这种惩罚方式要reasonable，得根据孩子犯错的性质和潜在的危险断定。至于是不是真正“in the best interest of the child”——“对孩子最好”，这个不能靠家长自己说，得由法院来判。在这，大家看的很气，是因为当事人孩子年龄太小，还没懂事，所遭受的对待跟孩子的年龄和各项发育完全不相称。另外，那位楼主实在是太自以为是了，被骂不但不反省，还莫名其妙地觉得自己被亲妈踹出去那种都是正常的爱，真是冥顽不灵。不给她搬出法律相关的消息，她还觉得自己做得没错。
Child Abuse Charges While all states have laws that govern physical attacks against children, such as battery or homicide, many others also have laws that specifically address child abuse. Though the language of these laws differs widely, they all prohibit any type of cruelty towards a child, such as physical attacks, mental abuse, and neglect. Many states also have crimes that specifically address other abusive situations involving children, such as sexual abuse. Child abuse laws cover the same conduct regardless of the state in which the abuse occurs. Assault. Child abuse laws criminalize physical attacks against children or actions that result in harm to the child. Minor injuries, such as bruises, or more serious injuries, such as burns or broken bones, are all abusive if the adult intends to inflict them upon the child. Even if the adult does not intend to cause the injury, or causes no injury at all, intentionally assaulting a child is abusive. Discipline. Child abuse charges often arise out of cases where a parent or caregiver attempts to discipline a child. Courts have determined that acts of discipline must be considered under the circumstances of the event, and the parent or custodian must act in the best interests of the child. An adult can use reasonable actions to discipline a child, but unreasonable acts are usually considered abusive. However, what is reasonable in one situation may not be reasonable in another. Courts consider the reasonableness of disciplinary actions based on factors such as the age of the child, the severity of the actions, the extent of any harm or potential harm the child suffered, and even the sociocultural background of the family. Sexual abuse. Sexual actions against a child are abusive. Children are not capable of granting consent, and when an adult engages in sexual activity with a minor, it is often charged as child abuse. Sexual abuse can be the result of lying, coercion, bribery, or demands—proving physical acts of force isn''t necessary. Neglect. Accidental harm to a child is not considered abusive. However, accidents are not the same as careless or negligent actions, and such actions are covered under abuse laws. Leaving children in a home to care for themselves, for example, can be an abusive act if the children are too young to look after themselves. Failing to provide regular medical care, adequate shelter, or emotional support can also count as abuse. Threats. Many state laws include verbal threats and emotional abuse as child abuse. In these situations, the child does not need to suffer any actual physical harm for an act to be abusive. A caregiver who, for example, repeatedly humiliates or terrorizes a child has committed child abuse. Parents who subject their children to the sight of physical or verbal attacks may also commit child abuse.
美国很多地方“惩罚”孩子并不违法。十年前听同学说，他家亲戚spank自家小孩，坐标加州，我跟他说这是违法的，他说不违法，虐童违法，但是父母惩罚孩子不违法。我很多美国学生都表示小时候被spank过，不过十年前我学生小时候是至少二十年多前吧。
那个视频不该口诛笔伐？除了拿衣架打，没有别的办法了？把孩子打成ptsd，一切问题都解决了。真好撒花。 以后育儿书籍，按家庭收入分类好了。
你有好方法可以说，你问我？我觉得那个条件下家长没别的办法，如果有钱他会雇个baby sitter，这对于有钱人来说是方法，对穷人不适用。
我记得莫泊桑还是谁，有一篇短篇小说提到母亲用黄肥皂洗小孩的嘴作为惩罚。 显然在西方历史上是有这么一回事的。
那不是他没别的办法，是他不会，不动脑筋就会动手好不好 全球的父母都需要教育孩子去水边要小心，按你的话说，如果没有钱雇人，都得拿起衣架狠狠打孩子 这样的话，超市应该会卖 ”打去玩水的孩子的衣架，便宜结实打不坏，进口材料”
法律并没说不能用体罚管教，而是说这种惩罚方式要reasonable，得根据孩子犯错的性质和潜在的危险断定。至于是不是真正“in the best interest of the child”——“对孩子最好”，这个不能靠家长自己说，得由法院来判。在这，大家看的很气，是因为当事人孩子年龄太小，还没懂事，所遭受的对待跟孩子的年龄和各项发育完全不相称。另外，那位楼主实在是太自以为是了，被骂不但不反省，还莫名其妙地觉得自己被亲妈踹出去那种都是正常的爱，真是冥顽不灵。不给她搬出法律相关的消息，她还觉得自己做得没错。
看过圣诞电影a Christmas story里面小男孩打架了好像被母亲罚含肥皂。好像是西方惩罚小孩的一个办法，现在应该被禁止了吧，就像spank小孩一样
说了半天你也没有其它办法，说“不行”其实很简单，随便找个理由，或者干脆诛心就好了。但是要说什么“可行”是很困难的，因为这就比较专业，键盘侠们自然做不到。
我就好奇你小时候是被拿衣架打，还是父母雇人看着的啊 我家没钱雇人，就是觉得当小孩儿老被人看着也挺没意思的
美国保护儿童的法律在过去几十年里变化很大的。
不是在哪里长大的问题吧，动手就是不对的。 我父母再怎么生气也不会打我，我们家对于家庭成员之间动手都是0容忍，我爸妈连我小学老师对我一点言语伤的打击都直接告诉我这是不对的
那三个娃，确实很皮实
对，我同学和我强调的就是spank 不等于 abuse，abuse不合法，出于教育目的的spank合法
那三个娃的爸，确实下得去手
这个好像现在也一直有。。。之前有个帖子里，我还质疑，这样不会中毒么。。。
每个州不一样吧？大概十年前有个特别轰动的案子，是德州的一个法官经常spank自己成年的女儿，好像就是用自己的皮带抽，忘了这个案子最后怎么判的。这个新闻特别轰动，加上很多恐怖电影背景就是德州，于是德州给我留下了特别野蛮落后的印象。
不用打，至少可以说服教育，如果孩子一定要玩水，可以告诉孩子那些地方相对安全，那些地方不能去。 打孩子，一无法改变孩子已经去河里玩水的事实；二不能确保制止孩子今后去河里玩水；三不能提高孩子今后玩水的安全性。 而且，孩子偷偷玩水后但是安全返回了，家长还要暴打孩子，从孩子角度来说，家长打孩子的目的就是为了打孩子，和孩子是不是从事了危险活动关系不大。今后孩子还是可能去偷偷玩水，但是可能会注意不被家长发现。
你又怎么知道那个家长没有“说服”教育过？说服如果能解决所有问题，就不会有监狱了，说服一下杀人犯和强奸犯就可以了，甚至可以说服一下川普去把拖欠的税款交了，费那么大劲弹劾他干啥呢。人类的差异性注定无法用一种方法解决所有“人的问题”，有的孩子天生同理心很差，有些偏执，有些甚至原生变态，教育的目的就是防止孩子犯错，如果都能说服，没有家长愿意打孩子（虐待情况除外），毕竟动动嘴谁愿意下手打亲骨肉呢？例如那个把婴儿丢下楼的女童，我就是支持打一顿的。
你都没意识到自己说的有什么问题吗？富人有钱请律师和解是纠错？纠的什么错？不听话的孩子不指望有一天意识到错误，家长也不能指望一直不管有一天孩子就自己长成了。隔壁楼主还敢公开说自己踢孩子，是有多狂妄冷漠。
虐待孩子的事显然哪里都有那么一回事，但文明程度进步了呀
孩子跟成年人根本不是一回事，小孩是可以靠说理教育，成年人三观什么的基本都定型了，当然很难靠说理。就好比一颗小树，你可以让它长歪，也可以把它拗直，但是大树就没办法掰直了。
去看看豆瓣的父母皆祸害小组，就知道toxic父母伤害了多少孩子，精神上、言语上、身体上的abuse，都给孩子留下很大的阴影。之前版上讨论，还说是父母那一代不会教育孩子，说那一代的父母经历了文革戾气太重，没想到现在居然这么多人又在为abuse孩子来辩解。
你说我说的有问题，然后一个问句接着一个问句，我实在想不明白你在哪里指出我的问题。富人孩子即便杀了人，还是可以轻轻松松把这段肮脏历史抛到脑后，衣着光鲜的进名校大公司，这是即便在司法体制很完善的发达国家都无法避免的。更别说在落后的第三世界国家。穷人孩子犯一点小错可能要用一辈子来偿还，失去的远比得到的多。因此穷人在教育孩子的时候不能指望孩子主动意识到红线在哪里，而是通过体罚，形成条件反射被动的选择正确方式。固然悲哀，但这是事实。