看些主流的counseling theories 的著作吧。书里会系统的讲人脑的工作，也讲parenting style对人影响，也讲counseling therapy theories 是怎么产生的，怎么作用的。我觉得当一个人了解了致病原理，才能知道自己该怎么走出来。也能回答之前有人发帖说自己被虐待，不想要孩子的难题。 静下心来读读书，learn about yourself, you will definitely feel better about finding "who you really are and where you are heading to".
我推荐下面两本书。 不需要买最新版本，ebay上老版本十几刀就可以买到。 https://www.amazon.com/Student-Manual-Practice-Counseling-Psychotherapy/dp/1305664477/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Theory+and+Practice+of+Counseling+and+Psychotherapy&qid=1604073331&s=books&sr=1-1
https://www.amazon.com/Life-Span-Development-Helping-Professionals/dp/0132942887