大家帮我填一个英文单词

吉木春
楼主 (北美华人网)
我在译写一个小故事,不会一个单词,下文下划线那里,要写的的是with 疑惑 on her face 或不解也行,请大家结合前文给写出那个单词,在这先谢谢了! A doctor was going to go home after the work was done,he went to the elevator,when the door open he saw a charming nurse inside and he came in.The elevator kept moving down when it had reached the ground,until to the B3 the door opened,a granny was standing there .The doctor rushed to press the door close button and the elevator moved on,the nurse asked with ___ on her face:''why did you not let her in?''
土dou
incredulity
z
zhengnengliang
我在译写一个小故事,不会一个单词,下文下划线那里,要写的的是with 疑惑 on her face 或不解也行,请大家结合前文给写出那个单词,在这先谢谢了!
A doctor was going to go home after the work was done,he went to the elevator,when the door open he saw a charming nurse inside and he came in.The elevator kept moving down when it had reached the ground,until to the B3 the door opened,a granny was standing there .The doctor rushed to press the door close button and the elevator moved on,the nurse asked with ___ on her face:''why did you not let her in?''

吉木春 发表于 4/10/2020 9:14:43 AM

第一句建议楼主不要用“电梯门开了,and he came in" 读着有性暗示。时态也要注意。

填空处____ to
你再读读你写的,B3那有歧义啊,医生到底是在电梯里还是不在,不在的话难道他灵魂出窍了?嗯,就这样。
w
welkin25

第一句建议楼主不要用“电梯门开了,and he came in" 读着有性暗示。时态也要注意。

填空处____ to
你再读读你写的,B3那有歧义啊,医生到底是在电梯里还是不在,不在的话难道他灵魂出窍了?嗯,就这样。

zhengnengliang 发表于 4/10/2020 9:33:26 AM

第一句的问题是,我们是站在医生视角看着医生进电梯的,所以应该是went in而不是came in。came in那得是叙述一开始就是从电梯内部开始
吉木春
回复2楼土dou 不是表达那个意思,那个护士是在奇怪。
m
moerym
curiosity
w
welkin25
回复2楼土dou
不是表达那个意思,那个护士是在奇怪。

吉木春 发表于 4/10/2020 9:39:12 AM


你的问题是为什么一定要这个句式,表情清清楚楚写在脸上真的让人想起“玩味的笑”“眼里闪过一道寒光”
简单的 Confused, the nurse asked, ... 就可以了
O
OatmealNuts
a puzzle. 整个翻译有很多小问题,如果只是随便讲个故事无所谓,如果是比较正式的,需要很多修改。
O
OroMedonte
Shock ?
t
thetisea
confusion?
m
mingcedargrove
surprise
吉木春
回复3楼zhengnengliang  谢谢仁兄的指导!那里是opens,我本来是把那个电梯门写成doors电梯是两扇门开合,后来想想不对,虽然理上是这样,但我更感觉是说door,doors 更像是两个独立分开的门,所以就改回door了但把动词忘了。B3那里经你这么一说我刚才看了下确实没表达好,没表达出我的本意,需要修改。
l
liumajia
感觉可以加入好多词,fear, shock, confusion, disgust, curiosity, hesitation
吉木春
回复4楼welkin25 当zhengnengliang在说这句的时候我和你想一块去了,后来再想了下我想到he walked in.
吉木春
谢谢楼上朋友们的留言,望大家继续帮忙填,我一定要找到那个precise one。
k
keren8891
The elevator kept moving down when it had reached the ground,until to the B3 the door opened,a granny was standing there . 这句好像时态也有问题吧 when后面为什么用过去完成时?然后又加了until?
M
Mimitu
整段有好几个时态错误
吉木春
受welkin25兄台的启示,我在译写的时候想起他说两句话,结果用在里面自我感觉那两句达到了precise的程度。暂时还没翻译出来,那两句难度也不小,和下划线那一样都先搁一搁,下次再说。下面是我刚才完成的大家都来看看,欢迎留言。最后谢谢welkin25兄台,一看兄台就像饱读小说之人,一出口就来了两句这么经典的,佩服!如果说的不对还请多包涵! A doctor was going to go home after the work was done,he went to the elevator,when the door opens he saw a charming nurse inside,he walked in and pressed the light of ground floor on,weirdly the elevator didn't stop when it had reached the ground and kept moving down until to the B3,the door opened,a granny was standing there .The doctor rushed to press the door close button and the elevator moved on.
  ''Why did you not let her in?'' The nurse asked with ___ on her face.
  ''Oh my god,She had the tab on her wrist!''Answered the docter in horror.
  ''What's wrong with it?''with more ___on the nurse's face.
  ''There has morgue in the basement and the dead bodies in it are marked with our hospital's tabs tying to their right wrist!Didn't you know that?''
  ''Oh please~,calm down that's not a big deal,i have it too.''The nurse pulled up her sleeve and raised her wrist to the docter with a 玩味的笑 on her face.
  ''OH FUCK!''The docter 眼里闪过一道寒光.
s
shinno
Disbelief. 但是这个小故事整体太撇了,白瞎了我这个disbelief。
吉木春
还望朋友们不吝赐教,除了最初的那个问题外,还有故事里那两句中文也给翻译翻译,我在这里说明下它们的意境。那个“玩味的笑”是一种意味深长、耐人寻味、神秘的笑,形似在露气缭绕的山涧,一二八佳人身披白色透明纱衣,雪白而又酥软的胴体若隐若现,望向远处的有情郎嘴角显露出来的一种让人难以察觉也让人难以琢磨的、似笑非笑的笑,只是形似这样的可能神态不会是类似的,不是由情欲而发的,而且只那么匆匆地微微一撇嘴,明显那些“Smile、laugh……”等等一定不适用了。第二句“眼里闪过一道寒光”,这句就不多说了,字面上的意思应该差不多了。
c
catgoose
第一句就读不下去,is going to go home?
S
Shengbing
with a perplexed look? 或者直接perplexedly. 不过这段英文从头开始就有点尴尬。
s
semiotics
打击一下,语法错误和用词不当的地方不少。楼上给的各种建议都不错。astonishment 有人说了吗?
吉木春
还有对楼上给我留言之前我没回复的朋友们说声对不住了,还请多多包涵!我想偷懒不愿意讨论那些。
t
tbaobao
Bewilderment?
g
greenishwampi
我在译写一个小故事,不会一个单词,下文下划线那里,要写的的是with 疑惑 on her face 或不解也行,请大家结合前文给写出那个单词,在这先谢谢了!
A doctor was going to go home after the work was done,he went to the elevator,when the door open he saw a charming nurse inside and he came in.The elevator kept moving down when it had reached the ground,until to the B3 the door opened,a granny was standing there .The doctor rushed to press the door close button and the elevator moved on,the nurse asked with ___ on her face:''why did you not let her in?''

吉木春 发表于 4/10/2020 9:14:43 AM


妹子, 这是adult school 的ESL level4-5的作业吗? 好多年前做过tutor, 这篇作文能用红笔由第一句开始一路X到底.
C
Cumberbitch
我在译写一个小故事,不会一个单词,下文下划线那里,要写的的是with 疑惑 on her face 或不解也行,请大家结合前文给写出那个单词,在这先谢谢了!
A doctor was going to go home after the work was done,he went to the elevator,when the door open he saw a charming nurse inside and he came in.The elevator kept moving down when it had reached the ground,until to the B3 the door opened,a granny was standing there .The doctor rushed to press the door close button and the elevator moved on,the nurse asked with ___ on her face:''why did you not let her in?''

吉木春 发表于 4/10/2020 9:14:43 AM

楼主你的问题是有太多 run on sentence。多用句号少用逗号。你这个看着喘不上气来。
一年明月
如果是我会填a puzzled expression,字数超了。 BTW这是鬼故事吗?
w
welkin25
还望朋友们不吝赐教,除了最初的那个问题外,还有故事里那两句中文也给翻译翻译,我在这里说明下它们的意境。那个“玩味的笑”是一种意味深长、耐人寻味、神秘的笑,形似在露气缭绕的山涧,一二八佳人身披白色透明纱衣,雪白而又酥软的胴体若隐若现,望向远处的有情郎嘴角显露出来的一种让人难以察觉也让人难以琢磨的、似笑非笑的笑,只是形似这样的可能神态不会是类似的,不是由情欲而发的,而且只那么匆匆地微微一撇嘴,明显那些“Smile、laugh……”等等一定不适用了。第二句“眼里闪过一道寒光”,这句就不多说了,字面上的意思应该差不多了。

吉木春 发表于 4/11/2020 12:53:05 AM

哈哈哈 加得很到位
玩味的笑可以是 a meaningful smile... 我觉得meaningful跟玩味一样啥意思都能往里面塞
吉木春
with a perplexed look? 或... Shengbing发表于20-04-11 00:57
   打击一下,语法错误和用词不当的地方不少。楼上给的... semiotics发表于20-04-11 01:03
  不会吧,俩位朋友有没有看完全贴?你们是在说原贴还是之后我修改后的。perplexed意思有点接近了,这个词的同词根名词好像不合适填在with ___on her face那里,用个组合的perplexed +某个单词填在那里虽然可以但是我不太想那样子也不是我原来想要的效果,况且这个单词也不是那个precise one。
  astonishment我就不多说了,估计兄台没看完全贴。
  最后还是谢谢你们的留言!也谢谢刚才 留言的朋友catgoose和tbaobao 也还请你们多多包涵!有些话题我就不回复讨论了,偷懒一下。
O
Outlookk
With a frown on her face. 这作者文笔很差
吉木春
回复26楼greenishwampi 兄台请看下面修改后的那篇。
吉木春
如果是我会填a puzzled expression,字数超了。 BTW这是鬼故事吗?
一年明月 发表于 4/11/2020 1:26:17 AM
我一定不会。个人觉得也有一半搞笑的成分。
吉木春
还望朋友们不吝赐教,除了最初的那个问题外,还有故事里那两句中文也给翻译翻译,我在这里说明下它们的意境。那个“玩味的笑”是一种意味深长、耐人寻味、神秘的笑,形似在露气缭绕的山涧,一二八佳人身披白色透明纱衣,雪白而又酥软的胴体若隐若现,望向远处的有情郎嘴角显露出来的一种让人难以察觉也让人难以琢磨的、似笑非笑的笑,只是形似这样的可能神态不会是类似的,不是由情欲而发的,而且只那么匆匆地微微一撇嘴,明显那些“Smile、laugh……”等等一定不适用了。第二句“眼里闪过一道寒光”,这句就不多说了,字面上的意思应该差不多了。

吉木春 发表于 4/11/2020 12:53:05 AM

哈哈哈 加得很到位
玩味的笑可以是 a meaningful smile... 我觉得meaningful跟玩味一样啥意思都能往里面塞

welkin25 发表于 4/11/2020 1:27:55 AM
meaningful 可以敷衍可,但不是我的风格了,smile也一样,而且我都说了不适应,你竟然还用上了。😳
吉木春
With a frown on her face. 这作者文笔很差
Outlookk 发表于 4/11/2020 2:20:12 AM
目前见到的最好的,还有没有,感觉还是差那么一点点。
F
FM96.5
Scoffing
Stoic
z
zicklingrad
lust