Thank you for you comments, yueyueyue :) 我的profile(short version for app and long version for match/eharmony/OK Cupid)有参照小麦mm的文章写draft并拍照+选照片, 再请用online dating apps/website成功找到另一半并且订婚的好朋友, 还有另外一位好友的曾经用过online dating apps/website的未婚夫和他的男性友人，一起帮我逐字review,像改CV / cover letter一样 (3位都是native speaker并都有graduate degree, 所以文法和用字遣词/sentence structure应该还行)修订我的内容, 也请两位男士帮我挑照片/排序，如果不好意思给板上姐妹们看+也没有其他用dating app/websites成功的闺蜜的话，我还可以如何做呢?
另一方面，很有可能是聊天内容不够有趣/flirty，所以对话无法进展到让男生约我见面, 我贴一下几个之前的对话，大家帮我看看? 我这方面真的悟性很差，也不知道要如何在短期之内快速提高, 年龄越来越大，真的好着急，小麦mm之前的文章有cover一些见面后的对话，但这个部分比较没有着墨，那几本推荐的书也没有着墨这个”如何发有趣的短信让男人想跟你见面”，之前有看一位mm分享(“这半年Online dating 20多人一点实战经验和个人看法 。如何发短信”)，无奈我资质愚钝，还是领悟不来，大家可以分享一下你们是如何提高的吗? 感谢!
Sample 1: Guy: trying to watch as much golf and nfl as possible! ur projects def. sound exciting! Me: How long have you been playing golf? Are you really good at it? Haha, they are super exciting projects :D Any plans for your holidays? Guy: like 20 years I think - i used to be good, but was terrible last weekend! No big plans for the week, what about u Me: 20 years! It's a long time! Yeah, you don't practice it, you lose it. I just came back from XXX. Spend my holidays with my family :) Will relax this week :) 然后男生就不理我了…
Sample 2: Guy: Hi XXXXXX! What’s something you’ve learned to cook recently? Me: I’ve tried miso salmon tofu recently. Sooooo good!!! And you? Guy: Oh wow that sounds great! I’m a big salmon eater. I’m not a great chef but I found a seafood paella recipe online recently, and it turned out really well! Easier than I thought. Me: I feel that cooking is like doing the scientific experiment….but you can eat the final product :D Guy: Haha true! I think it’s also a creative expression. So I guess it’s both an art and a science! A piece of art that exists only for a few minutes and then is gone forever Me: haha, exactly!!! :D 然后男生就不理我了, again…
Guy: trying to watch as much golf and nfl as possible! ur projects def. sound exciting! Haha watch vs play? 然后男的就会接话我play的怎么怎么样 然后你接 Hey let me introduce you Ms misohiro(your name), who knows nothing about golf but you’ve successfully sold gold to her. I feel like i have so much to learn! You have to teach me from beginning! What kind of club should I choose? 接下去男的开始夸夸其谈，你只要顺着说就好了，接着问那怎么挥杆啊什么的，然后如果你对这个人感兴趣，就跟他说，不明白啊，你看看我家附近有没有好的球场，我请你，你来教教我呀！这就顺理成章开始约会了嘛。
第一段对话感觉问题在 “ you don't practice it, you lose it". 一般男生喜欢听吹捧一点吧， 尤其是他说自己玩20年了并且”used to be good", 只是上个星期没发挥好， 这时候一般解题思路是1. 顺着他夸他， 或者2. 安慰他并表示上周肯定只是意外。 如果想要有进展一点可以在1或者2后表示自己很感兴趣， 但不会或者玩得不好， 如果有机会对方可以教你。 这样对方如果对你有好感就能趁机约你出来， 尤其是对方已经表示了自己这个weekend/holiday "no big plan" lz你说完”lose it“后立刻换话题看起来就像你打击了一下对方后， 由于对golf（对方的兴趣爱好）完全没兴趣， 于是赶紧转移话题
Guy: trying to watch as much golf and nfl as possible! ur projects def. sound exciting!
Haha watch vs play?
然后男的就会接话我play的怎么怎么样
然后你接 Hey let me introduce you Ms misohiro(your name), who knows nothing about golf but you’ve successfully sold gold to her. I feel like i have so much to learn! You have to teach me from beginning! What kind of club should I choose? 接下去男的开始夸夸其谈，你只要顺着说就好了，接着问那怎么挥杆啊什么的，然后如果你对这个人感兴趣，就跟他说，不明白啊，你看看我家附近有没有好的球场，我请你，你来教教我呀！这就顺理成章开始约会了嘛。 yueyueyue 发表于 1/3/2020 7:14:39 AM
girl: oh, any big games recently? guy: last weekend it was XXX, xxx girl: thatsounds like a great game! I never played gold but I always wantto . do you think it'stoo late for me to start? what's trickyabout it? xxx guy: the key to play golf is blablabla. I don't think it's too late. i can teach you if you want（如果对你有兴趣的话男生一般都会接这个茬）. 看，第二个date有了吧。 如果说足球： girl：yeah i know - hot football season right now and all guys are glued to the sofa and beers. which one is your team/what's your fav team? guys: xxx 你就可以顺着问他: how's your team been doing this season then? when's the next game? which team are they playing? xxx （如果你不懂足球的话） i always wanted to understand football more. sounds like a pretty complex game? 然后男生就开始滔滔不绝告诉你football怎么回事，你再来回问点细节问题。然后约着下次一起看球。 说你的project sounds exciting 之后，你可以接： girl: yeah i am very excited about it. how about you? any exciting projects you have been working on? 然后话头又转回给男生了 说cooking的时候，那个男生都说了他新找到一个receipe做的很好吃但其实很简单，你应该顺着就接下去问： girl：I love paella! never tried to make it myself - looks complicated. how did you do it? 然后男生就开始blabla讲怎么做这个菜。你可以穿插着问一些细节，这个天就聊下去了。末了你再说： girl: that still sounds complicated to me! you must be a very experienced cook！i always have trouble dealing with the xxxx. (如果你看他有兴趣的话可以给他讲一个你的cooking的小故事。）或者：that does sound not too bad at all. I'm gonna give it a try this week too. have you tried xxx? 总的来说你跟人聊天要对他聊的这个topic有兴趣，能够形成一来一往的针对于这个话题的conversation。你的目的是have a good conversation and have a good time, 顺带考察这个人，而不是oh let's get a second date and get married. 还有关键要给男生扔一个open question，让他有机会滔滔不绝。这样既可以让他开心，有显摆的机会，又可以伺机多了解他一些。 btw这种聊天方式适合于任何社交环境。 祝好运。
个人建议，仅供参考啊！ Sample 1 前几句没有什么问题。这里： Guy: like 20 years I think - i used to be good, but was terrible last weekend! No big plans for the week, what about u Me: 20 years is a long time, you must be a pro! You should teach me some basics of golfing sometimes. I always wanted to learn, but never had the opportunity. Most of my friends are homebodies, or like shopping too much. Regarding the week, I just got back from XXX. Spent some time with my family. Would you have time for a quick coffee or lunch this weekend? Maybe we can get to know each other a little bit more 😊 Sample 2: Guy: Hi XXXXXX! What’s something you’ve learned to cook recently? Me: I’ve tried miso salmon tofu recently. Sooooo good!!! What type of food you like? Guy: Oh wow that sounds great! I’m a big salmon eater. I’m not a great chef but I found a seafood paella recipe online recently, and it turned out really well! Easier than I thought. Me: Paella sounds amazing, it requires many different kinds of seafood to make though. I am pretty good at doing science, so I am pretty good in the kitchen too! Guy: Haha true! I think it’s also a creative expression. So I guess it’s both an art and a science! A piece of art that exists only for a few minutes and then is gone forever Me: definitely, would you be interested cooking something together? My kitchen is pretty nice. 如果觉得第一次见面到家里不合适的话可以： I have heard great things about this xxx market, would you like to go to check it out this weekend?
Thank you for you comments, yueyueyue :)
我的profile(short version for app and long version for match/eharmony/OK Cupid)有参照小麦mm的文章写draft并拍照+选照片, 再请用online dating apps/website成功找到另一半并且订婚的好朋友, 还有另外一位好友的曾经用过online dating apps/website的未婚夫和他的男性友人，一起帮我逐字review,像改CV / cover letter一样 (3位都是native speaker并都有graduate degree, 所以文法和用字遣词/sentence structure应该还行)修订我的内容, 也请两位男士帮我挑照片/排序，如果不好意思给板上姐妹们看+也没有其他用dating app/websites成功的闺蜜的话，我还可以如何做呢?
另一方面，很有可能是聊天内容不够有趣/flirty，所以对话无法进展到让男生约我见面, 我贴一下几个之前的对话，大家帮我看看? 我这方面真的悟性很差，也不知道要如何在短期之内快速提高, 年龄越来越大，真的好着急，小麦mm之前的文章有cover一些见面后的对话，但这个部分比较没有着墨，那几本推荐的书也没有着墨这个”如何发有趣的短信让男人想跟你见面”，之前有看一位mm分享(“这半年Online dating 20多人一点实战经验和个人看法 。如何发短信”)，无奈我资质愚钝，还是领悟不来，大家可以分享一下你们是如何提高的吗? 感谢!
Sample 1:
Guy: trying to watch as much golf and nfl as possible!
ur projects def. sound exciting!
Me: How long have you been playing golf? Are you really good at it? Haha, they are super exciting projects :D Any plans for your holidays?
Guy: like 20 years I think - i used to be good, but was terrible last weekend!
No big plans for the week, what about u
Me: 20 years! It's a long time! Yeah, you don't practice it, you lose it. I just came back from XXX. Spend my holidays with my family :) Will relax this week :)
然后男生就不理我了…
Sample 2:
Guy: Hi XXXXXX! What’s something you’ve learned to cook recently?
Me: I’ve tried miso salmon tofu recently. Sooooo good!!! And you?
Guy: Oh wow that sounds great! I’m a big salmon eater. I’m not a great chef but I found a seafood paella recipe online recently, and it turned out really well! Easier than I thought.
Me: I feel that cooking is like doing the scientific experiment….but you can eat the final product :D
Guy: Haha true! I think it’s also a creative expression. So I guess it’s both an art and a science! A piece of art that exists only for a few minutes and then is gone forever
Me: haha, exactly!!! :D
然后男生就不理我了, again…
而且我一般不谈有的没的，直接问我感兴趣的，大家一般没有时间和陌生人谈些平淡的内容。当然如果我对男生不感兴趣，我就会趋向像朋友一样聊天，或者刚开始不确定，就从朋友开始尝试，然后迅速决定要不要进一步发展。如果一直像朋友一样，对方可能会lose attention
lz估计回去消化研究去了
不过还是要赞一下lz对各个dating app的总结
哇! 这位MM比我会聊天多了，真希望我也有像你这样的功力!
Good idea, thank you :)
Agree, 也有可能是这样
楼主不会聊天啊，很dry，两句话就聊死了。比如那个男生说喜欢看高尔夫的时候，你可以往下接：
girl: oh, any big games recently? guy: last weekend it was XXX, xxx girl: thatsounds like a great game! I never played gold but I always wantto . do you think it'stoo late for me to start? what's trickyabout it? xxx guy: the key to play golf is blablabla. I don't think it's too late. i can teach you if you want（如果对你有兴趣的话男生一般都会接这个茬）.
看，第二个date有了吧。
如果说足球：
girl：yeah i know - hot football season right now and all guys are glued to the sofa and beers. which one is your team/what's your fav team? guys: xxx 你就可以顺着问他: how's your team been doing this season then? when's the next game? which team are they playing? xxx （如果你不懂足球的话） i always wanted to understand football more. sounds like a pretty complex game? 然后男生就开始滔滔不绝告诉你football怎么回事，你再来回问点细节问题。然后约着下次一起看球。
说你的project sounds exciting 之后，你可以接： girl: yeah i am very excited about it. how about you? any exciting projects you have been working on? 然后话头又转回给男生了
说cooking的时候，那个男生都说了他新找到一个receipe做的很好吃但其实很简单，你应该顺着就接下去问： girl：I love paella! never tried to make it myself - looks complicated. how did you do it? 然后男生就开始blabla讲怎么做这个菜。你可以穿插着问一些细节，这个天就聊下去了。末了你再说： girl: that still sounds complicated to me! you must be a very experienced cook！i always have trouble dealing with the xxxx. (如果你看他有兴趣的话可以给他讲一个你的cooking的小故事。）或者：that does sound not too bad at all. I'm gonna give it a try this week too. have you tried xxx?
总的来说你跟人聊天要对他聊的这个topic有兴趣，能够形成一来一往的针对于这个话题的conversation。你的目的是have a good conversation and have a good time, 顺带考察这个人，而不是oh let's get a second date and get married. 还有关键要给男生扔一个open question，让他有机会滔滔不绝。这样既可以让他开心，有显摆的机会，又可以伺机多了解他一些。
btw这种聊天方式适合于任何社交环境。
祝好运。