Toddler 娃是不是身心受伤了

m
menganiu
楼主 (北美华人网)
一个月前开始上幼儿园。一周前老人因家里出事立即改签提前回国,没有准备。娃在幼儿园不合作,这可以理解,
现在是晚上睡觉11点左右开始到 2、3 点频繁哭闹。
关键是一直闭着眼睛,叫也叫不醒,也没有啥眼泪,就是干哭,
声音很大,得哭个半个小时,再睡个半小时又哭
然后跟不认识我一样,不让我碰他,不让我说话的
感觉娃的心理是不是受创很厉害?白天我还能做些什么?
e
eling820
最近做了好多睡眠研究,这种闭着眼睛哭闹的很可能是night terror, 楼主你研究下。好像和白天的stress level and anxiety有关。
胡桃小丸子
直觉就是娃清醒的时候多陪,其他的问问专业人士吧。
xixipaopao
白天有没有over tired。我家娃太累了也会这样的。
刚上幼儿园也这样半夜哭了好久
m
menganiu
回复 2楼eling820的帖子

谢谢!
icylava
一个月前开始上幼儿园。一周前老人因家里出事立即改签提前回国,没有准备。娃在幼儿园不合作,这可以理解,
现在是晚上睡觉11点左右开始到 2、3 点频繁哭闹。
关键是一直闭着眼睛,叫也叫不醒,也没有啥眼泪,就是干哭,
声音很大,得哭个半个小时,再睡个半小时又哭
然后跟不认识我一样,不让我碰他,不让我说话的
感觉娃的心理是不是受创很厉害?白天我还能做些什么?

menganiu 发表于 9/13/2019 12:09:57 PM


night terror ,蛮常见的。跟白天经历没什么直接关系。长大点就好了。
大鱼Michelle
应该是白天有点over tired,至少是还没有适应幼儿园,有点压力,再加上家里的环境产生变化很容易导致晚上噩梦或者惊醒,我家娃晚上哭醒也差不多这样,不会求安慰的,不让抱,就是闭着眼哭。这时候你就拍拍他,轻声细语说些安慰的话,或者就讲故事,讲能逗他笑的故事,然后慢慢他就平复心情继续睡了。你试试看
m
menganiu
回复 7楼大鱼Michelle的帖子

这个我试了,我一碰到他,他哭的声音就立马大了,然后反抗,小声说话也不行。
晚上醒来后却会甜甜的喊”妈妈“。
wannaquit
啊,我家就是,还会哭到choke,我都害怕她要背过气去了……
m
menganiu
回复 9楼wannaquit的帖子

你家多久了?采取什么措施了吗?
gdd3606
我儿子刚上学也有几天这样,哄也没有用,抚摸也没有. 后来我干脆开灯,他很快彻底醒了,上个厕所就能继续睡了
w
wingofdream
白天好好陪陪
macha
night terror,我家小时候也会,哄他他更哭,像发脾气一样。我后来总结出来了,让他哭一会,快结束了进去哄哄,就好了。
mmerer
我觉得你能做的就是就算老人从国内再回来了也不要让老人带娃,自己多带。
妈妈爱娃娃
听daycare老师说过,老人主力带娃突然回国,娃就会这样。
c
cliu706
night terror,我家小时候也会,哄他他更哭,像发脾气一样。我后来总结出来了,让他哭一会,快结束了进去哄哄,就好了。
macha 发表于 9/13/2019 6:31:38 PM


re这个
Zigzag123
回复 13楼macha的帖子

要是每晚都这样呢
sad2019
我们以前娃每晚都这样。然后5岁就好了。


回复13楼 macha 的帖子
要是每晚都这样呢

Zigzag123 发表于 9/13/2019 7:16:00 PM
lucyyan
正常,我家有一段就这样。night terror. lz自己search一下,有什么情况能引起,如何处理。
s
shellie
night terror,没有什么好办法,只能等自己grow out 我女儿半夜哭五六七八次一直到三岁,我带着看了三四个美国医生,国内中医,小儿推拿,算命的我都去了,全都没用,给我折磨的每天脾气都很不好,现在5岁了,半夜还是会经常哭醒来找我。但是除了睡觉,各方面都是很正常的小孩,也挺聪明伶俐的。

我儿子刚上学也有几天这样,哄也没有用,抚摸也没有. 后来我干脆开灯,他很快彻底醒了,上个厕所就能继续睡了
ecnanif
night terror, 三四岁时常有,没办法。
刚上幼儿园肯定睡梦不好。
h
hohowenzi
Night terror 不要尝试叫醒 不要哄 不要抱 不要去碰他 在旁边保证安全就好 我家刚上幼儿园头两个月也是这样 我就睡在他房间地板上保证他夜惊安全 之后自己就好了 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
desktop
一个月前开始上幼儿园。一周前老人因家里出事立即改签提前回国,没有准备。娃在幼儿园不合作,这可以理解,
现在是晚上睡觉11点左右开始到 2、3 点频繁哭闹。
关键是一直闭着眼睛,叫也叫不醒,也没有啥眼泪,就是干哭,
声音很大,得哭个半个小时,再睡个半小时又哭
然后跟不认识我一样,不让我碰他,不让我说话的
感觉娃的心理是不是受创很厉害?白天我还能做些什么?

menganiu 发表于 9/13/2019 12:09:57 PM


好多回复都说night terror,这个在孩子小的时候很常见。Hand in Hand有篇文章详细地讨论这个话题,而且也给出非常有效的办法,最后还附了一个家长的实践经历。我给你转过来:
https://www.handinhandparenting.org/article/talking-about-nightmares-and-night-terrors/

nightmares and night terrors
Q. My three-and-a-half-year-old has started waking every night around the same time, and screaming. I think he’s in the middle of a nightmare. He’s really frightened, and I don’t really know what to do. Not much seems to help—often, I’ll bring him in bed with me, but that doesn’t change the situation long-range. He keeps waking up really scared. Is there any way to help him get through this? All of us experienced nightmares at some point in our childhood. Usually, nightmares are an occasional thing. Your son probably is experiencing what they call “night terrors,” which go on night after night for a period of time, and usually entail a recurrent dream, or at least, recurrent feelings of fear. Here’s my picture of what happens to cause nightmares, and night terrors. Your child has an acutely sensitive internal monitoring system that signals strong emotional and physical alarm at the slightest hint of danger, injury, or threat. And because little children don’t understand yet how the world works, their minds register many situations as threatening. Their emotional alarms can go off daily. For instance, a baby might feel afraid while sitting facing the rear in her car seat, because she can’t see anyone there. More challenging situations—going through a struggle at birth, facing a long separation from a parent, or having a scary accident—register deeper fears. When an experience has caused fear, a child will either go very quiet and lock down his emotional system until it seems safe again, or will scream and cry with all his might. That screaming and crying serves an important purpose! If an adult can come close, hold the child, and let him know that he’s safe now, the child will cry and thrash and keep expressing fear until the fear has been fully expressed. At that point, a child’s system is able to understand that the threat is over. He doesn’t remain afraid. Many times, at least some of that feelings of fear stays stuck in the child’s emotional memory. The feeling lasts because at the moment the child is frightened, there isn’t the time or the support for the child to really finish expressing how frightened he became. Parents who want to help him will try to hush his expression of fear, because we’ve all been taught that the parent is supposed to hush crying and talk (or threaten) a child out of expressing his feelings. So the feelings of fear that the child didn’t finish expressing are stashed, uncomfortably, in memory. these emotional memories don’t just sit there. they cause trouble. A child’s stored moments of fear can be kicked into play by little everyday things. A child can become afraid of having his teeth brushed, afraid to wash his hair, or afraid to go into a room by himself, as a way of signaling that he still carries fear within him. When children are awake, they can stay one step ahead of the feelings of fear they still harbor by being active. Children who harbor big fears tend to be very active—constant activity distracts their minds from the feelings that linger under the surface. But things like the start of school, a parent taking a business trip, a thunder storm, or a tense time in the family can easily trip the stored feelings of fear. The child distracts himself during the day, but in sleep, there’s no escaping the fact that feelings are rankling inside. The mind portrays the fear in the form of a nightmare. It weaves a story or an image with the feelings that were embedded some time ago. When a child wakes from nightmares crying and screaming, he’s doing exactly what he needs to do to offload his stored feelings. Crying, trembling, perspiring, and thrashing wildly are the way children dispel the power that fear exerts in their minds. They need to scream. They need to thrash. They need to show you how desperate and terrified they feel. And they need a parent to be close to them, to hold them, and to keep them safe while they get rid of those awful fears. Your job, as parent, is to hold the child and be his emotional anchor. Make sure a bit of light is in the room so he can see you if and when he opens his eyes. Put your arms around him, pull him onto your lap, or sit very close and keep him right with you. Let him move. Try to tune in to the deep feeling he is expressing, but don’t panic yourself. He needs you to know that he’s in the middle of an emotional bad dream, and to love him and trust that the bad dream will pass. Pour your love and your confidence that all is well into him. What you might say while he’s wild with upset: “I’m right here, and I’ll keep you safe.”
“Nothing is going to happen to you. I have you in my arms. You are OK.”
“Whatever frightened you is over. It’s never going to happen again.”
“I’ll stay with you until you can tell you’re safe.”
“I am protecting you. I’m watching over you every minute.”
“If you look into my eyes, you will see that I am right here. If you can, take a look.” be patient Working through a big chunk of fear takes time. The kinder and more confident you are, the harder he will cry and thrash, but then, eventually, he’ll feel OK. The bad dream will lift. He’ll be glad to go back to sleep again. And he’ll wake up bright and cheerful in the morning. Night terrors happen when the fear a child is trying to offload is not a small one. So the child’s mind cooks up a frightening image night after night to set up a chance to work through and be finally rid of the fear that sits so uncomfortably in his memory. Children who have spent time in neonatal intensive care, who have had accidents, or who have been through other overwhelming experiences often have night terrors. Their instinct is to heal fully from frightening experiences, and night terrors help a child to do this difficult but liberating emotional work. You have great power to assist your child’s emergence from old fearful experiences if you stay, listen, and guide their emotional release process. We call this kind of help Staylistening. If it’s difficult for you to do, because your child seems so distraught, then it’s smart to find a listening partner. Our booklet, Listening Partnerships for Parents, outlines how you can arrange an exchange of listening time with a friend or another interested parent.
sleep Patty Wipfler talks about helping children sleep.

We parents are, understandably, saddened and sometimes frightened by our children’s raw moments. We love them so much, and, by and large, we haven’t ever taken on the job of helping someone while they face their worst fears. It’s difficult. But a listening partnership can give a parent the emotional wherewithal to help a child heal fully from the fearful experiences he’s had. here’s how it can work: My son had an accident that split his hand open when he was just a year old. We rushed him to the emergency room. My husband and I were frightened and shocked, and I’m sure seeing us so stricken added to his fear in the situation. In the emergency room, they drugged him, strapped him to a board, and stitched him up. I was with him every moment, but the whole experience was not what you would wish for a twelve-month-old child! He cried a few times in the next few days, but he didn’t have a huge emotional reaction to the incident at the time. When he was three years old, he began to have night terrors. For several months, he would wake screaming and fearful every single night at about 10:30 pm. I figured that he was probably finally tackling the fear from his accident, but there was no way to know for sure why he kept working so hard on fear. He couldn’t really tell me anything while he was screaming, fighting, sweating and trembling. And when he would finish, the fear banished for the night, he would just cuddle a bit and go back to sleep. One night, he screamed so loudly that the neighbors over the back fence knocked on our door to make sure everyone was OK. Every night, I reassured him, held him, and told him that whatever had scared him was over and it would never happen again. He would thrash and scream. It was as if he couldn’t hear or process any of the reassurance I was offering, but I knew that it was important to be his anchor, to supply a steady counterweight to his fears with my confidence that he was OK. He was fine in the mornings—the emotional episodes didn’t seem to leave any residue to taint the next day. During this time, he had the same wildly fearful response to any tiny physical injury—any scuff on his knee, or bump on his head. When I could, I did the same, holding him and offering him a safe, close place and time to process his emotional memories of that earlier accident. He had his terrors every night, like clockwork, until his mind finally was rid of the fear, and didn’t send up any more bad dreams. And throughout this period, a deep seriousness and watchfulness that seemed to be his personality gave way to more laughter, more sparkle, and more appetite for adventure and humor. He began to play with more abandon, and to seek out more daring adventures. Being held and reassured through his night terrors was lifting the heavy weight of caution, and allowing him to see the world as a safer place.
d
dongy
我家的这样哭过几天 我们要开灯把他抱出房间走走就不哭了 平复以后要稳定一会再回房间睡觉 如果回早了会再哭一轮 不过抱出房间走走对我们很有效
qiyuegege
回复23楼desktop的帖子
多谢分享 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
gem
刚开始上幼儿园是会这样,回家动不动就melt down,晚上做梦哭,我觉得白天一天看不到父母是很stressful的一件事。
m
marssoil
回复22楼hohowenzi的帖子
re这个,我查的也是不要叫醒。有可能是环境改变,也有可能是白天的压力,很多种可能因素。 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
niggy
我家娃小时候有一阵子就是这样,大概两三岁的时候,一哭半个小时,你抱他跟他说话都没有用,得让人家哭完才行

☆ 发自 iPhone 华人一网 1.14.05
smile1027
你家孩子习惯跟老人睡嘛?如果是喜欢跟老人睡老人走了这反映太正常了
l
lilac1
我家宝宝在daycare被挠了以后有好几晚也是这样,一两周之后就好了。确实是越抱哭的越凶,拼命把你推开,还叫妈妈那种。