Negotiation for what, there is no way you can gain if you keep in touch with toxic people. The longer you stay in contact, the more the loss.
Just cut loss and move on. There is nothing you can gain. If I were you, I will talk to the lawyer, and find the quickest solution as long as the condition is okay.
It is a very hard move. But you have right to choose who you want to live with, they clearly don't care about your feeling at all. It has been proven again and again to you. It is a very hard move, but it is the end of a misfortune and a tragedy direction. The misfortune part is that you signed the marriage contract with someone who does not care about you at all and who never even grow up.
Everyone get a life to live, it is completely completely unfair for someone live twice of their live. When they live together and ignore your feeling, they build up their happiness on your suffer. It is like they take life from you for so many years. If you can let them pay back, do it without mercy. Otherwise, just cut loss.
Marriage sometimes is a curse and most unfair. When you sign the strongest contract with someone who is extremely selfish and have no sympathy, you will be burned and marriage is probably the worst contract you can ever have. But you only need a place to live and some money to make you feel safe, stuck with some toxic people is much worse. The only thing is your kid, as long as your kid is okay, there is nothing to worry, just move on.\ I still cannot understand the stupid thing about a grow-up has to live with their parents. If everyone like this, the grandpa needs to live with father, father needs to live with son, son needs to live grandson. Now there is also female side, multiple generations. So in the end, the whole world need to live together since everyone will be connected at some point. We only need one house and stay in one city with billions of people living together. There must be some asshole who only wants to enjoy their own life with the suffering of others. I just cannot believe, at least, it is not something everyone has to agree to.
Negotiation for what, there is no way you can gain if you keep in touch with toxic people. The longer you stay in contact, the more the loss.
Just cut loss and move on. There is nothing you can gain. If I were you, I will talk to the lawyer, and find the quickest solution as long as the condition is okay.
It is a very hard move. But you have right to choose who you want to live with, they clearly don't care about your feeling at all. It has been proven again and again to you. It is a very hard move, but it is the end of a misfortune and a tragedy direction. The misfortune part is that you signed the marriage contract with someone who does not care about you at all and who never even grow up.
Everyone get a life to live, it is completely completely unfair for someone live twice of their live. When they live together and ignore your feeling, they build up their happiness on your suffer. It is like they take life from you for so many years. If you can let them pay back, do it without mercy. Otherwise, just cut loss.
Marriage sometimes is a curse and most unfair. When you sign the strongest contract with someone who is extremely selfish and have no sympathy, you will be burned and marriage is probably the worst contract you can ever have. But you only need a place to live and some money to make you feel safe, stuck with some toxic people is much worse. The only thing is your kid, as long as your kid is okay, there is nothing to worry, just move on.\ I still cannot understand the stupid thing about a grow-up has to live with their parents. If everyone like this, the grandpa needs to live with father, father needs to live with son, son needs to live grandson. Now there is also female side, multiple generations. So in the end, the whole world need to live together since everyone will be connected at some point. We only need one house and stay in one city with billions of people living together. There must be some asshole who only wants to enjoy their own life with the suffering of others. I just cannot believe, at least, it is not something everyone has to agree to.
千万别心软，听律师的，一定不要手软，当心渣男报复你。到了这一步一定不能再回头了。自己和女儿过会更开心！
我绝不是在为你老公开脱。他动手当然不对。那是他的问题。不过，说到这儿了，他动手你都全力反击，看来算势均力敌？不知道是他太瘦弱还是他没用全力。因为事实上男生比女生劲儿大好多，男生动手是会伤害到女生的，也会让女生害怕。这才是为什么法律比较保护女生，对家暴男比较严格。你的情况还不是这样。不过again，动手是婚姻里的大忌。你不应该一直在这样的婚姻里还没作为。
你公婆不是你们婚姻破裂的原因。你和你老公才是。如果你说话有效，你老公不让他家人来，那公婆的影响就根本不存在。出于种种考虑，你年年（被迫）同意你公婆来，还（允许你老公）给他们办绿卡。那我只能说，是你把自己弄到这个地步的。影响你生活质量的事，你都不能决定的话，为什么不趁早离婚。对了，你六七年前就决定不让公婆来了。所以不要说是你孝顺，决定再让他们来6年。你不想的。却还是同意了。真不知道你怎么把自己在家里的地位弄到这样。而且我更不敢相信，就这样，你前几年还想要老二！
你跟女儿说的不再婚什么的也很不对。人活着多么不容易，应该被人爱也爱人。你就是不追求生活质量，才到了今天这个地步。以后为什么不能开始为自己活得更好些呢？看见合适的当然可以再婚。你若看人准，他不会欺负你女儿的。
总之lz早该离婚或做出改变的。但为时不晚，祝你下半辈子很幸福很平和。
抱抱mm. 祝越过越好 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
别相信楼上说的什么送公婆去养老院什么的，不可能的。一是公婆肯定恨死你，二是ex就算妥协了也会恨你，埋下更大的炸弹。三是养老院要排队不是说进就能竜进去的，一旦缓兵之策，你回去了就会再拖个好几年。真的不值得的!
大招要用到关键时候，而且要有把握达到目的。现场报警，如果对方身上也有伤，很有可能就被认定两人互殴，家里老人再作证是女方挑起的，丢了孩子监护权都有可能。留证据，给点震慑，现阶段足够了
搞清对方底线和手里的筹码再决定怎么谈判，一早把事做绝，才自找麻烦自绝后路。
谢谢大家，让楼主感受到了温暖，这里是个热情阳光的大社区大家庭！
（啪！歪哥100码时速杀到：你怎么抢我的台词！）
支持！看出来你是心软的人，现在不是软的时候。如果你心软同情他，将来可以在经济上资助他。但是现在一定要争，只有这一次机会。而且法庭不会偏袒任何一方，法庭支持你的，就是你应得的。
bless楼主顺求summary
估计楼主是特别容易心软的人，每次老公几句好话或者是央求就同意公婆来了。
别的不说，就这个家暴一条，就可以分了。还加上两个不懂事的老人！
楼主真不能再包子了，离婚一定要公事公办听律师的。
还有应该把老公和公婆赶出去租房子，你和女儿住家里！
凭什么自己的房子让给别人！
对啊，43页居然没人引用，让我们抱一起哭一下
我也是，我家老大半岁，我和我婆婆闹矛盾我晚上也住酒店。从此再不要她带娃，情愿自己累的和 狗一样。偶尔来住住可以，但是不会一起生活的 ！
Just cut loss and move on. There is nothing you can gain. If I were you, I will talk to the lawyer, and find the quickest solution as long as the condition is okay.
It is a very hard move. But you have right to choose who you want to live with, they clearly don't care about your feeling at all. It has been proven again and again to you. It is a very hard move, but it is the end of a misfortune and a tragedy direction. The misfortune part is that you signed the marriage contract with someone who does not care about you at all and who never even grow up.
Everyone get a life to live, it is completely completely unfair for someone live twice of their live. When they live together and ignore your feeling, they build up their happiness on your suffer. It is like they take life from you for so many years. If you can let them pay back, do it without mercy. Otherwise, just cut loss.
Marriage sometimes is a curse and most unfair. When you sign the strongest contract with someone who is extremely selfish and have no sympathy, you will be burned and marriage is probably the worst contract you can ever have. But you only need a place to live and some money to make you feel safe, stuck with some toxic people is much worse. The only thing is your kid, as long as your kid is okay, there is nothing to worry, just move on.\
I still cannot understand the stupid thing about a grow-up has to live with their parents. If everyone like this, the grandpa needs to live with father, father needs to live with son, son needs to live grandson. Now there is also female side, multiple generations. So in the end, the whole world need to live together since everyone will be connected at some point. We only need one house and stay in one city with billions of people living together. There must be some asshole who only wants to enjoy their own life with the suffering of others. I just cannot believe, at least, it is not something everyone has to agree to.
mm你的英语真好,我也无法理解一大家子非要住一起..............这都什么时代了
要是我会给我女儿做好榜样，0容忍家暴行为. 该要的要，不为你也要为你女儿
二十年? 我以为我看错了。我在第二年就看明白了我的前夫，立马把他像垃圾一样倒掉了。二十年太长，不过也永远不晚。我相信你现在的心情和我当时一样: 自由得想要飞!!
离这件事是定了！第一他是不会说什么好话的，第二，什么话也改变不了我的决定。我就跟大梦初醒一样，觉得日子原来也可以这么过。
"悲哀啊找律师说家暴。让她老公和他父母长住吧，最后同埋吧！"
MM, 虽然说婚姻是两个人的relationship, 中国人都说一个巴掌拍不响，可是不管对错，当suffer 大于 happy, 当日子过得太痛苦的时候，无所谓多错， 放手吧。
如果我是你，我现在唯一考虑的会是孩子，stay in or get out, 自己受的苦或者不幸，到自己这里就结束吧，孩子还要有自己的future。
祝你趁早离了吧。
你老公连你亲女儿洗澡用水都克扣，你还能忍这么久，最后到多次动手才要离婚，说明你想法跟正常人不一样，正常人没法预测。
一般人夫妻吵架失控一时动手能忍的很多，但是克扣到小孩头上还能忍的很少。
是啊，说话改变不了你的决定，但万一人家不但说好话，还把父母送走，另外给你全部身家之类甜头，就不一定了。就算分居也还能复婚，你老公又不是没求你不要离婚过。
这事主动权看这口气在你那老公手里，取决于人家是早嫌弃你了，还是不想离婚。
你口口声声说你多爱小孩，亲爹连女儿洗澡水都克扣，你居然能忍，那只能说明你更爱男人呗。
这样忍无可忍的时刻估计你之前也有过类似的，但不知种种原因，或许你心软，或许你准前夫下矮桩声泪俱下，你又稀里糊涂地回去继续过日子。你在他们心中的地位就这样螺旋式下降低至尘埃低无可低了。
对你的建议，既然你的精神力量偏弱势，那么在这个特殊时刻，就应该斩钉截铁地寻求帮助。律师，社区组织，家暴妇女组织，警察，朋友，公益组织，多多说出你的困境，寻求帮助，千万不要瞻前顾后，你越是孤立自己，怕东怕西，施暴者就会越无所顾忌，肆无忌惮。特别是被家暴妇女组织，每个City都有的，找到她们，她们会教你应对措施的。
首先，钱是好东西，但是我不愿意用命换钱。其次，我跟他在一起唯一的原因就是想给孩子一个完整的家。至于还爱他，那就真是开玩笑了，我不恨他都算我想得开了。不过谢谢mm苦口婆心，我知道你这么说是为了让我坚定信心。
妹妹分析的挺对的，我现在在律所，等见律师，就是要他给我出出主意，我现在脑子转的不灵了，需要有人给我一些建议。谢谢你。
谢谢阿姨的建议了！的确只有他们一家人才适合长长久久的相处！
☆ 发自 iPhone 华人一网 1.14.05
楼上有位66岁的妈妈说 跟律师说家暴。律师是管不了家暴的，警察和法官管。楼主对老公和他父母的为人应该是很了解了，你觉得自己不想闹太僵， 离了婚也不要当仇人。事实是，你们不离婚就已经和仇人差不多了。离了婚，有这样的绿卡公婆，只会变得更敌视仇恨，他们何曾替你想过？
在离婚中，楼主但凡有“妇人之仁”，最后就是经济上受损失，女儿的监护时间至少会有一半或更多被老公以及公婆拿走。在后面女儿成长的岁月里，他们会用那一半的监护时间荼毒孩子。这个可能会让楼主最心痛。所以，楼主以为自己不想为敌，对方就不会为敌，其实你在婚姻中步步后退，退到无路可退，奋起离婚，竟然又想折中保守，不可能两全的。离婚是只此一次的为自己和女儿抗争的战役，是见识低劣人性的至暗时刻。楼主此时若是软弱懈怠，后面可能要糟心很多很多年。对方有三个成年人在对付你，楼主清醒一下，你的忍让和一厢情愿的不愿为敌，都是自我麻痹。想想从前的意难平，怎么会奢望他们在离婚后体谅你？你还怕影响老公的前途，女人太傻啊....
同觉得，对方不是善类，退让对方也不会感激，只是觉得楼主软弱可欺。
楼主这种情况离婚了，跟他们三个人肯定已经是仇人了。不论你在做什么都没有用。最好就是把烂人彻底踢出你的生活。不要再想着还为孩子保留父亲那边的亲情。
楼主应该多咨询一下律师， 怎么争取抚养权？
妹妹分析的很有道理！他们现在见到我已经是杀父仇人一般，是我自己一厢情愿不愿为敌。既然如此，我也不必客气了。咨询过律师，他给我补充了一些专业知识，非常有帮助。这个周末搬家以后，我需要花点时间了解一下抚养权和财产分割，但是一搬就需要先file divorce petition, 先把手续走起。
你和孩子已经搬出来住了？终于走出这一步，给你一个赞