楼主，建议你在家里装上全套的alarm system with video surveillance，比如ring+YI HOME那种，不要引起怀疑，可以录到平时她骂孩子的录音，作为verbal abuse的证据。开始和孩子打好关系，表示理解她们，和孩子的老师打好关系，你做的每一顿饭现在开始做照片记录。这样能充分证明你对孩子的身体健康和精神健康上都是巨大的支持。
楼主，建议你在家里装上全套的alarm system with video surveillance，比如ring+YI HOME那种，不要引起怀疑，可以录到平时她骂孩子的录音，作为verbal abuse的证据。开始和孩子打好关系，表示理解她们，和孩子的老师打好关系，你做的每一顿饭现在开始做照片记录。这样能充分证明你对孩子的身体健康和精神健康上都是巨大的支持。
Sometimes in custody disputes, one parent attempts to get a leg up in the custody case by bad-mouthing the other parent to the children. Additionally, in more extreme cases, a parent in a litigation may even try to persuade a child to make false claims of abuse or neglect against the other parent. Courts take these matters very seriously and this type of behavior is strictly prohibited. In New Jersey, judges will often include a “Childrens’ Bill of Rights” directly into court orders to prohibit parents from discussing any litigation or drawing their children into disputes with the other parent. Unfortunately, because these activities occur behind the scenes, it can be difficult to prove that these events are actually occurring. A parent faced with this problem can bring a custody or divorce action or he or she can file a post-judgment motion to preclude this conduct or to modify an existing order. A family court judge in New Jersey has the authority to order compensatory, make-up parenting time. A family court judge also has the authority to reduce or limit the custodial rights and parenting time of the offending parent if it can be proven that the alienating behavior is causing harm to the children. Most of the time, if a parent raises these types of claims against another parent, these claims may only be litigated in the family part. This means that other than possible awards of counsel fees, or court sanctions there would be no substantial money damages awarded against the offending parent for this type of conduct. A New Jersey appellate court in Segal v. Lynch, 413 N.J. Super. 171 (App. Div. 2010), addressed whether or not a parent could seek civil redress against the other parent for emotional damages relating to custody and parenting time cases. In Segal, a mother had had made frequent numerous alienating statements to the parties’ children, which resulted in the loss of the relationship between the father and his two children. The father brought a civil tort suit against the mother, alleging that the mother committed intentional infliction of emotional distress. The lower court dismissed the action. A New Jersey appellate court reviewed the decision of the lower court. The appellate court held that parents should not be permitted to routinely bring civil suits against each other for alienation of the affections of their children. The Court stated that routine claims of intentional infliction of emotional distress arising out of one parent’s alienation of the affections of the children were against public policy. The Court explained that these claims would almost always require the children to act as witnesses against one or both of their parents and it would not be in the best interests of the children for these cases to proceed. However, interestingly, the appellate court left the door open for one parent to file a civil action against the other parent in extreme cases. The appellate court in Segalspecifically noted that civil redress would be appropriate when “one parent falsely and intentionally accuses the other parent of sexually abusing the child.” Id. at 189. The appellate court explained that a false accusation that a parent has sexually abused his or her own child is “so despicable and so destructive in its effect on the innocent parent that it cries out for compensation which is not available in the Family Part or even in the criminal courts.” Id. at 189. Another Court in an unpublished decision in Monmouth County New Jersey held that a grandparent who colluded with a parent to withhold a child in another country and advised the child that his parent had abandoned him, could also potentially be liable in a civil claim. Ordinarily, a parent is precluded from bringing claims of emotional distress against the other parent in New Jersey. However, in extreme cases, a parent who has been alienated from his children by the other parent may bring a civil action for damages against that parent if the claims of alienation include false accusations of sexual abuse or otherwise lying to a child about one of their parents. Anyone seeking to bring this type of claim must recognize that this relief is very limited and the circumstances must be extreme.
楼主，建议你在家里装上全套的alarm system with video surveillance，比如ring+YI HOME那种，不要引起怀疑，可以录到平时她骂孩子的录音，作为verbal abuse的证据。开始和孩子打好关系，表示理解她们，和孩子的老师打好关系，你做的每一顿饭现在开始做照片记录。这样能充分证明你对孩子的身体健康和精神健康上都是巨大的支持。
家里打扫卫生一个月一次？猪窝么？
夫妻关系好，才可能和双方父母相处好。不好本末倒置
这班上很多大妈田园女权，只要是个女人就一定有道理，殊不知这种想法是女权最大的障碍
男生比女生更往前看。如果没法把娃从水深火热里捞出来，那也只能回国拼创业再生娃。
不要追杀我，确实是男生心理。
扔菜刀啊 ～～～
说的是实情
这位妈妈太要强，问题是你要强你要在自己身上啊，要在娃身上算什么神经病啊
我说了呀，哪个都不insane，我说扔菜刀对了吗，还有你知道为啥发这么大火呀？ ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
至于吃糖和零食我支持你老婆。我娃小时候从来不让吃糖，当然我们的态度比较好，是讲道理那种。糖对孩子的大脑发育很不好。你读读research.
扔菜刀有可能失手死人 ～～～
这数学不及格也不能让大白兔奶糖背锅 ～～～
你女儿都8岁了，不应该你带着洗澡和游泳了啊，这个妈妈真是心大啊。我儿子3岁开始我就不带着洗澡和游泳了，都是爸爸带。女儿小时候也都是我自己弄，这个辛苦必须的，不能偷懒啊
纯讨论，不是抬扛哈。因为想起我表妹，孩子现在8岁多了，愣是一天电视都没看过，就是一家人在一起过年看春晚都要把孩子引到另外房间讲故事那种。理由当然也是一堆理论依据支持，看电视对娃大脑发育不好，可是我们都觉得娃好可怜
虽然平时很讨厌男的这么干，这次特殊情况，支持。娃已毁了，爹别也被毁了
不合适就离吧，这种长期精神折磨会导致抑郁的，与其被折磨死，不如辛苦一点，起码还有未来可以希望
带游泳没事，八岁娃自己会洗澡。
做好一切准备，请好的离婚律师，进行离婚。
人活着只有一次，不要活成这样，你明白这一点，所以才会发帖求助。你的孩子们可能已经在心理上被她妈妈造成了不可逆的影响（没有安全感脾气暴躁等等都是潜移默化的），要及时止损。你不希望你的孩子将来的伴偶也来论坛里求助如何离婚吧。
加油，你和你的孩子都值得更开心的生活。而你的老婆也需要不破不立来意识到自己的性格缺陷。
天哪！这还叫生活吗？这只能叫苟且的活着。
漂亮的生完小孩一样漂亮。
再说小孩也漂亮的。
想到那个段子：我妈把推我的力气花在自己身上，我早成富二代了
LZ要是这样做，跟老婆肯定就成仇了，对小孩更不好，而且我觉得这样子处心积虑感觉对她老婆有点太残忍，等事情turn out他老婆都要绝望了。我觉得还是好好谈谈吧，然后一起看心理医生或婚姻咨咨询。
因为她推娃这么拼命，所以需要你做饭，不然她哪有精力啊？
我建议你分担一些项目，挑你擅长的一种，然后把做饭的N分之一给她。如果这一项你的效果被她好，以后就这么安排了。
如果你有能力分担好几个项目都比她强，那么做饭多分给她一些。
理由必须是“娃的效率利益最大化”。
漂亮身材好就舍不得离婚，如果过得下去。
也就是 competition 占巨大优势。
但楼主的问题是过不下去啊。这个不是 competition 的问题而是 qualification 的问题，属于无证上岗。
要是不论对错，你也别在这儿单方面控诉了，你俩多明显的三观不合，赶紧离吧，放彼此一条生路。谁让你当年看脸结婚不找soulmate，搞到今天也正常。至于你家娃就自求多福，只能说运气不好摊上你们这种明显三观不和都能结婚生子的爹妈。
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈😄
无语
别搞笑了，法官还管这？
不一定，你们自己协议的话怎么都行。
美国一般不支持把兄弟姐妹分开
精神虐待谈不上，这样整自己孩子妈就过分了
既然你回覆我，就解答一下，這叫parental alienation, 別以身試法
求你了，別再回我了，我們明顯不在一個世界裡
你娃一周最多只有一般时间跟你，所以，离婚不是出路
公共论坛，你可以不回我啊。我回不回你需要你批准？
哦。那还蛮鼓励楼主采纳你的建议，果断离，再找其他女的生新娃。如果LZLP了解楼主是来真的，也许会有所收敛。大美女40拖2个小娃，前景比楼主暗淡多了。楼主当初能搞定美女，想必实力不差。
赞同
谢谢您！ 你说的是”法官不会让她诋毁父亲的“。 请问告倒前妻的难度如何？有什么consequences？何况这关我什么事，我以身试什么法？莫名其妙
Sometimes in custody disputes, one parent attempts to get a leg up in the custody case by bad-mouthing the other parent to the children. Additionally, in more extreme cases, a parent in a litigation may even try to persuade a child to make false claims of abuse or neglect against the other parent. Courts take these matters very seriously and this type of behavior is strictly prohibited. In New Jersey, judges will often include a “Childrens’ Bill of Rights” directly into court orders to prohibit parents from discussing any litigation or drawing their children into disputes with the other parent. Unfortunately, because these activities occur behind the scenes, it can be difficult to prove that these events are actually occurring. A parent faced with this problem can bring a custody or divorce action or he or she can file a post-judgment motion to preclude this conduct or to modify an existing order. A family court judge in New Jersey has the authority to order compensatory, make-up parenting time. A family court judge also has the authority to reduce or limit the custodial rights and parenting time of the offending parent if it can be proven that the alienating behavior is causing harm to the children. Most of the time, if a parent raises these types of claims against another parent, these claims may only be litigated in the family part. This means that other than possible awards of counsel fees, or court sanctions there would be no substantial money damages awarded against the offending parent for this type of conduct. A New Jersey appellate court in Segal v. Lynch, 413 N.J. Super. 171 (App. Div. 2010), addressed whether or not a parent could seek civil redress against the other parent for emotional damages relating to custody and parenting time cases. In Segal, a mother had had made frequent numerous alienating statements to the parties’ children, which resulted in the loss of the relationship between the father and his two children. The father brought a civil tort suit against the mother, alleging that the mother committed intentional infliction of emotional distress. The lower court dismissed the action. A New Jersey appellate court reviewed the decision of the lower court. The appellate court held that parents should not be permitted to routinely bring civil suits against each other for alienation of the affections of their children. The Court stated that routine claims of intentional infliction of emotional distress arising out of one parent’s alienation of the affections of the children were against public policy. The Court explained that these claims would almost always require the children to act as witnesses against one or both of their parents and it would not be in the best interests of the children for these cases to proceed. However, interestingly, the appellate court left the door open for one parent to file a civil action against the other parent in extreme cases. The appellate court in Segalspecifically noted that civil redress would be appropriate when “one parent falsely and intentionally accuses the other parent of sexually abusing the child.” Id. at 189. The appellate court explained that a false accusation that a parent has sexually abused his or her own child is “so despicable and so destructive in its effect on the innocent parent that it cries out for compensation which is not available in the Family Part or even in the criminal courts.” Id. at 189. Another Court in an unpublished decision in Monmouth County New Jersey held that a grandparent who colluded with a parent to withhold a child in another country and advised the child that his parent had abandoned him, could also potentially be liable in a civil claim. Ordinarily, a parent is precluded from bringing claims of emotional distress against the other parent in New Jersey. However, in extreme cases, a parent who has been alienated from his children by the other parent may bring a civil action for damages against that parent if the claims of alienation include false accusations of sexual abuse or otherwise lying to a child about one of their parents. Anyone seeking to bring this type of claim must recognize that this relief is very limited and the circumstances must be extreme.
找合适的机会和你妻子好好谈谈吧，把你的顾虑告诉她。看得出来，她是个很上进的妈妈，除了推娃，必定也关心孩子的心理健康，建议你买些教育孩子的书和她一起看，一起交流。不是要改掉她的坏脾气，而是让她改善对待孩子的方式。
你们都是爱孩子的父母，又都舍得付出，只要共同努力，应该能有所改善的。
管，如果有证据双亲中一方故意离间孩子跟另一方的感情，诬陷对方，而对方想要争抚养权的话（即使是离婚时裁决了physical监护时间，以后也可以要求变更），很大程度上法庭会倾向于给更多的时间给对方，有过case是诬陷对方被抓住证据的，法庭取消了她独自监护孩子的时间，只给有人监护下的探视，都不许她独自跟孩子在一起，以免她教坏孩子。当然那个诬陷比较恶劣，是诬陷孩子的亲爹性骚扰孩子，从而想得到完全的监护权，男的比较有资源，请了专家，侦探和律师来对打，拿到了女方造假和coach孩子的明确证据。
看看别人家事再反省自身问题。。。。
我虽然没有这个妈妈那么极端
但也和她接近了，
这些天也是为了一些家事“在调解”。。
好好调节情绪，放低要求，放弃一些要求。。。
希望楼主可以找到正确的解决方法
反啥转呀，人老婆根本忙的不上华人
家里最操心的lz背地里来抱怨 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
是菜刀帮吗？
对情绪把控不了又有极端方式宣泄情绪的人，只能远离。非常理解楼主的痛苦点，离婚后自己能脱离苦海，可是孩子还是无法避免要跟妈妈接触。先把自己解脱出来才能帮到孩子。 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
照你这么说，有时间上华人的就是家里更闲的那个？大概上华人的女ID都是家里闲的那个？有逻辑么
优柔寡断估计下不了狠心离婚。
☆ 发自 iPhone 华人一网 1.14.04
跟我做朋友吧
美女+性格贤惠温柔，是很可以marry up，lz这个级别hold不住的。一般人都是 美/贤惠 选一个
工作也是一样的，要讲究方式方法
年轻时是这样的，男的弱势所以捧着女的。现在反转了，楼主要认清形势
mark一下
明显是年岁上来了，又生了俩娃，每天全力推娃，对自己不太上心捯饬了呗
估计就像前面层主说的一个老师一个陪练，lz对孩子教育不上心，没搞清楚状况，如果觉得课时不够也就是在同一个老师那里加课时，没老师接受还在其他老师那里同时上课的学生的。
lz对教育不上心还在于一点，吃爆米花吃糖偶尔都没问题，但基本规矩lz老婆定的是不吃，那么父母要至少表象上一致，偶尔特殊情况需要孩子先问可不可以，lz老婆是primary caregiver，当然要问lz老婆先，lz直接overwrite了这个规矩。孩子表现非常正常，犯了规矩被抓包难道不吐出来？谁作弊被抓还继续的 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
我爸我妈现在对小时候管教我不允许的东西都强权般的零容忍政策很后悔。物极必反
听说过这样的：老婆用相框砸老公，没有砸到，被小学高年级的儿子举报了，进去了。出来一样家暴
呃这个着实过分了 ---发自Huaren 官方 iOS APP
缺德吧你就，所以说女人害女人最狠了
发觉家庭里总是一个好脾气的一个差脾气的。真心无解。
请个老师， 请个陪练还合理点， 父母不会弹琴， 有人能给指导下， 不会一错到底一周时间浪费了， 否则请两个老师， 弹不同的曲子， 每个练新曲子进度都慢一倍，总进度还是不变，图什么呢？如果要比较老师的话早就该能挑出哪个好了。
我建议楼主强势一些，在觉得你老婆教育娃方式不对的时候出面干涉一下。或者要求你来负责某些科目。
可惜孩子没妈很可怜， 一般男的也没能力带好两个孩子， 离婚了， 孩子境况可能更差， 就算抚养权全归爸， 以后有了后妈， 这么面的男人也保护不了孩子的。 这个亲妈再差还是管孩子爱孩子的。
想知道生活里，楼主除了做饭，还做什么？看你写的这些，如果你真的是个男的，不是挖坑的话，我觉得你是个非常计较的人。装午饭这件小事都值得拿来说，真是服了你。
是不是其他所有事情包括管娃推娃都是你妻子在做啊？如果是这样，我觉得你妻子也很可怜。一个大美女，忙里忙外，为了孩子，连午饭都没得吃，还赚不了你一点好，真是太不值了。但凡你帮她分担一些，也许她情绪就没这么差。