he is distracting himself from this one thing that he needs to do, that is to take responsibility for himself. He is experiencing some difficulties in life and is unwilling to shoulder the burdens of unfulfilled expectations (yours and his own.) "I'm not the problem. Look at the things around me, so bleak."
To take responsibility for oneself requires thoughts and actions. Fixing blames takes up time and energy, thus less is spent on the thoughts and actions, less anxiety, feeling more secure.
Happiness is a choice. He has to choose being happy, which takes much more effort than choosing being unhappy.
He needs to love himself more and think of himself as worthy.
(How many young men in the old country want to be in his shoes?)
It is sad to feel like a foreigner in the land where you were born.
Learn some history, especially the American Revolution. America is an idea. You are an American by subscribing to that idea, no one can take that away from you.
问题有些傻。我家小的似乎从未有过任何埋怨，但大的近几年牢骚不断，埋冤学校，埋冤基础设施，埋冤整个文化、饮食等等。归根到底，埋怨我们把他生在美国。以为上了大学会好些，但是更严重了，看不惯男女同学sexual relationship , 看不惯喝酒，看不惯学校的某些政策等等。 大家的孩子都happy妈？我娃有什么问题？
is beat the crap out of you .......
he is distracting himself from this one thing that he needs to do, that is to take responsibility for himself. He is experiencing some difficulties in life and is unwilling to shoulder the burdens of unfulfilled expectations (yours and his own.) "I'm not the problem. Look at the things around me, so bleak."
To take responsibility for oneself requires thoughts and actions. Fixing blames takes up time and energy, thus less is spent on the thoughts and actions, less anxiety, feeling more secure.
Happiness is a choice. He has to choose being happy, which takes much more effort than choosing being unhappy.
He needs to love himself more and think of himself as worthy.
(How many young men in the old country want to be in his shoes?)
样样精通。
By being unhappy, he feels more secure. "Mom, see? how hard I'm trying."
If he ever tried to be happy, he feels uneasy.
He needs to be aware of his everyday thoughts, And question why he feels or thinks certain way, instead of just a reflex.
Self-awareness is a sign of maturity.
Knowing the problem is half way toward solving it.
Realize that reflex conditioned since childhood is very hard to change.
It is sad to feel like a foreigner in the land where you were born.
Learn some history, especially the American Revolution. America is an idea. You are an American by subscribing to that idea, no one can take that away from you.
我们在这里缺亲少友，没有什么家人走动，孩子感到孤独很自然，有个知心好友情况会好不少。 我比较关心这一点，从小学低年级就开始抓，帮助他交朋友（约playdate) 。 结果倒是从小学到高中基本都有至少一个好朋友。实际上孩子小时候有过与好朋友相处的经历，大一点（初中，高中）也就会自己找了。
孩子有个业余爱好，作为精神寄托也很重要。有了这两点，孩子生活快乐充实一些，可能就没那么多负面想法了