His tender mind has been flooded. Just like a real flood, a mess is left in its wake. He is too tired to initiate and organize his thoughts.
Get him a copy of children's version of the Bible that fits his 9th grade reading level. By reading a book, his brain gets a chance to pause and think.
Get him interested in history and WWII, much material is in German. Or visit the country.
He is young and has the intelligence, but his world is too small in both time and space. He needs to realize there's a big world out there, full of Good and Evil and other fascinating stuff.
Intended or not, he is creating his own world where he is the master by covering his eyes with a screen and his ears with a headset. But how long can he do this before he has to face the real world?
Use a calm, even tone. Focus on your words (you want him to focus on your words too) because you want to tell him that your words are adequate enough. Repeat your words with a smile.
Do not show disappointment or frustration.
Praise him more. Make him a smoothy after he mows the lawn.
Go get an ice cream and share a moment together, mother and son. Show that you appreciate him being in your life.
Maybe leave your son alone for a while, and put aside what you wanted him to do. Make your own life better first.
Meanwhile,
Work on his empathy. When you are together with him, point out the difficulties and hardships others may be experiencing, like: Do you see yourself delivering that Uber Eats in this weather? She needs this job to put food on the table for her kids...
His indifference toward you is concerning. He has to care first, before all the other things you wanted him to do. Hope it's just a phase.
男娃，从小性格非常活泼开朗，跟陌生人说话一点儿不怵那种，每天都唠唠叨叨从早说到晚的话唠一个。自从上中学以后越来越沉默寡言，天天关在房间里打游戏，上网。耳机24小时戴着，睡觉也不摘下来，最近还导致耳朵发炎，耳道里面疼。现在9年级了，好像每天都没有动力做事情，除了每周踢几次球，任何活动都没有。英语成绩很差，作业和小考得过两次C-，总成绩是B。其他科目倒都是A+，包括两门AP。老师说他的二外德语非常突出，要给他额外加餐那种，我也不知道是怎么回事，因为他英语和中文都很差。他说喜欢德语。从小数学最好，也确实很聪明，魔方玩儿得眼花缭乱，但是现在感觉他跟废了一样，没有motivation，没有目标，除了游戏和TikTok，对其他的事情没有什么热情。问他想上个好大学吗？不知道。问他要不要看心理医生？不知道。疫情期间的网课对他影响很大，就他的mental health咨询过儿医，儿医说他的社交和成绩没有什么问题，后来就没有什么跟进了。现在娃的状态正常吗？感觉也不像抑郁，经常看着手机傻笑，也跟朋友hangout，就是对我要求他做的事情不感兴趣。我觉得我自己都要被他整抑郁了。大家看看这孩子正常吗？
游戏多点学习当然更好了，也对未来是个更好的准备
这个肯定不正常。没有跟孩子说好每天off screen的时间吗？
九年级两门AP这是在卷高啊。
我反正不相信一心多用multi tasking 能比single taksing 更专心更高效。 能做到的都是能人，但不是我们家的普通人
我感觉你家孩子的问题应该是你们没有在他小的时候建立起足够的权威和界限。
家长自己要学会self care，不要把悲观情绪传给娃
His tender mind has been flooded. Just like a real flood, a mess is left in its wake. He is too tired to initiate and organize his thoughts.
Get him a copy of children's version of the Bible that fits his 9th grade reading level. By reading a book, his brain gets a chance to pause and think.
Get him interested in history and WWII, much material is in German. Or visit the country.
He is young and has the intelligence, but his world is too small in both time and space. He needs to realize there's a big world out there, full of Good and Evil and other fascinating stuff.
Intended or not, he is creating his own world where he is the master by covering his eyes with a screen and his ears with a headset. But how long can he do this before he has to face the real world?
他们在学校到底经历了什么
并且已在寻找解决办法
祝成功
Use a calm, even tone. Focus on your words (you want him to focus on your words too) because you want to tell him that your words are adequate enough. Repeat your words with a smile.
Do not show disappointment or frustration.
Praise him more. Make him a smoothy after he mows the lawn.
Go get an ice cream and share a moment together, mother and son. Show that you appreciate him being in your life.
因为他是聪明人， 就像前面的网友说的现在他活在自己小小的王国世界里面，拒绝外界交流， 所以可以尝试和你先建立其愉快的连接沟通，再外延到大世界，热爱生活才会探索世界才会改变世界。
费用0 ～$几百刀，问卷大概有几十道～100道问题，1小时左右。心理医生会给出诊断（心理疾病有很多种）
What's his attitude toward what you have to say?
Maybe leave your son alone for a while, and put aside what you wanted him to do. Make your own life better first.
Meanwhile,
Work on his empathy. When you are together with him, point out the difficulties and hardships others may be experiencing, like: Do you see yourself delivering that Uber Eats in this weather? She needs this job to put food on the table for her kids...
His indifference toward you is concerning. He has to care first, before all the other things you wanted him to do. Hope it's just a phase.
家长肯定是很焦虑的,经历过..当时肯定是觉得天塌下来，到处想办法,还想着去parenting 咨询.. anyway, 现在回想起来, 其实都是很常见的, 家长要学会给孩子空间，我们越紧张, 他们就越历害.. 当我们把孩子往好处想想，他们就会往好的方向发展..这是俺的经验。
为此监督了一段时间。主要是缺乏动力，有机会带他认识一些牛蛙，有可能就知道努力了
Teens are all like that. My daughter is 13, talk to me no more than two sentences in a day. Video game, meet app with friends, go to bed after 1 am.
Boys are the same.
还好，他好像有一两个。最近不时请到家里玩，也一起玩出去。这就放心些了。