但那是因为父母供不起，其实也是帮父母减轻负担。姊妹兄弟之间没有义务，而且你说的你弟弟的情况，我觉得那是一个无底洞。你看他们困难想帮一下可以理解，他们明目张胆问你要，不给还生气是另一回事，要我就理都不理。
每年5000块直到死是很多钱，你到了年龄就知道你也有挣不到钱的一天。
又心起内疚，主动贴上去许诺帮侄子的忙...
你的弱点已经被他们抓得牢牢的，有这次还会有下一次，吃定你了；
当然，给了就不要不爽后悔，这样是吃力不讨好。索性不如不给，就当没有这个弟弟。
你女儿对你这些事的看法是什么？
也类似这种感觉。她是家里的老大，在美国生活工作比较久了，她把父母移民办过来了有几年了。她父母就老给她压力，让她负担她国内的公务员弟弟一家，也把弟弟一家移民办过来。她也是纠结很久，因为弟弟一家要办来，会给她一家压力很大，她自己有两个孩子上大学要养，她和老公两个工作很辛苦。但是她也觉得自己有责任，担心不办的话，弟弟一家会说她。我就劝她，弟弟一家要说就说去吧，你能堵住他们的嘴让他们不说？肯定是做不到的。不要在意他们说什么，不理就好。她就是不行，老想着怕他们说。上次问她，她说为她弟弟一家移民的事见了律师了，卡在一些个问题上。
我觉得楼主的这种情况，还是要把自己的内心问题理顺了，又尽到责任，又不至于大包大揽，帮忙帮到自己也可以接受的限度，于心无愧，就可以了。
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你有老公的话，还轮不到你弟弟。
但那是因为父母供不起，其实也是帮父母减轻负担。姊妹兄弟之间没有义务，而且你说的你弟弟的情况，我觉得那是一个无底洞。你看他们困难想帮一下可以理解，他们明目张胆问你要，不给还生气是另一回事，要我就理都不理。
每年5000块直到死是很多钱，你到了年龄就知道你也有挣不到钱的一天。
又心起内疚，主动贴上去许诺帮侄子的忙...
你的弱点已经被他们抓得牢牢的，有这次还会有下一次，吃定你了；
当然，给了就不要不爽后悔，这样是吃力不讨好。索性不如不给，就当没有这个弟弟。
你女儿对你这些事的看法是什么？
也类似这种感觉。她是家里的老大，在美国生活工作比较久了，她把父母移民办过来了有几年了。她父母就老给她压力，让她负担她国内的公务员弟弟一家，也把弟弟一家移民办过来。她也是纠结很久，因为弟弟一家要办来，会给她一家压力很大，她自己有两个孩子上大学要养，她和老公两个工作很辛苦。但是她也觉得自己有责任，担心不办的话，弟弟一家会说她。我就劝她，弟弟一家要说就说去吧，你能堵住他们的嘴让他们不说？肯定是做不到的。不要在意他们说什么，不理就好。她就是不行，老想着怕他们说。上次问她，她说为她弟弟一家移民的事见了律师了，卡在一些个问题上。
我觉得楼主的这种情况，还是要把自己的内心问题理顺了，又尽到责任，又不至于大包大揽，帮忙帮到自己也可以接受的限度，于心无愧，就可以了。
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你有老公的话，还轮不到你弟弟。