Love or not is irrelevant. If a couple can live together till the end, it's success, even if they don't like each other 100% or even 50%. If you can tolerate a person for 40, 50 years, that is enough to prove everything. Most people would run off long before that, an average marraige lasts less than 7 years and over 50% ends in divorce.
The fact is no one can love another person as much as they love their own offspring. Because this another person started with you as a stranger and has no shared DNA with you. You love your children more than him/her because you gave birth to them and raised them up, that's a huge difference. So you choose to stay put partly because this person you chose before and whom you no longer feel in love with , he/she also has shared DNA with your children. Without this critical link, there's almost no other reason to hold onto a relationship or a marraige, even with the best intentions
Sexual love is for proliferation and reproduction. Once the goal is reached, or not ever being able to reach the goal, it's dead.
现在的年青人有很多奇葩观点,观点之一就是婚姻是爱情和自由的坟墓。另一个观点更奇葩,竟然说婚姻会影响自己的生活质量,难道一个人生活质量很高?我不知道这个质量是啥意思,如果说一个人生活更自由,那是没错的,可孤独终老难道是有质量的生活?
其实老话里包含很多智慧,因为那是千百年生活经验沉淀的精华。比如少是夫妻老来伴,妥妥的就是生活真理。那些认为婚姻是爱情的坟墓的人就是没明白这个理。再美好的爱情也有退潮的时候,罗密欧和朱丽叶如果不自杀,结婚后也不会总爱的那么热烈。贾宝玉如果真和黛玉结婚了,肯定也会打的一地鸡毛。就凭黛玉那小心眼,估计婚后宝玉都不能和其他女孩来往,否则会被黛玉哭哭啼啼闹个没完。:)
成功的婚姻有很多种,像梁鸿与孟光那种相敬如宾,齐眉举案当然算是成功的婚姻。《人世间》里周家儿子的婚姻和周老爷子的婚姻都也是成功的婚姻,而我家大院邻居林叔和吴姨的婚姻在我看来也是成功的婚姻。吴姨不生育,林叔和吴姨一辈子抱养了两个孩子,可俩人一辈子恩恩爱爱,连拌嘴都很少,养女和养子和亲生的一样孝顺。
所以,我对成功的婚姻的看法很简单,就是两个人过到最后变成了亲人,而且一起共同养育了几个小亲人。
变成三体文明了
1) 辞职 / 不工作
2) 没婚姻
3) 不生育
还有, 脱水 – 浸泡 – 脱水 – 浸泡 …… 长生不老
现在的很多爱情剧就是毒鸡汤。
我也out了?
茶坛的多元性是迷人的~~
”婚姻是爱情和自由的坟墓“这句话,真的是老掉牙了。承认了这一句,”婚姻会影响自己的生活质量“就顺理成章了
那么慢的节奏,看得昏昏欲睡。
我在很久以前就看过了刘慈欣的所有东东。久的都忘记年头了!但觉得很不怎么样。
最后还是订了中文的
彼此吸引才能长相厮守一辈子
Love or not is irrelevant. If a couple can live together till the end, it's success, even if they don't like each other 100% or even 50%. If you can tolerate a person for 40, 50 years, that is enough to prove everything. Most people would run off long before that, an average marraige lasts less than 7 years and over 50% ends in divorce.
The fact is no one can love another person as much as they love their own offspring. Because this another person started with you as a stranger and has no shared DNA with you. You love your children more than him/her because you gave birth to them and raised them up, that's a huge difference. So you choose to stay put partly because this person you chose before and whom you no longer feel in love with , he/she also has shared DNA with your children. Without this critical link, there's almost no other reason to hold onto a relationship or a marraige, even with the best intentions
Sexual love is for proliferation and reproduction. Once the goal is reached, or not ever being able to reach the goal, it's dead.
Dead to its roots.
这也是为啥一个人生活更好的原因,至少有自由能自主,至少不受伤,至少不用照顾别人,为别人负责。只照顾自己为自己负责,生活就会变得简单快乐很多。不管结婚与否,生活的本质是健康快乐,如果一个人能做到就没必要冒险去结婚。
当然,每个人对生活的理解不同,所以要自己评估自己的能力做决定。