to be in this mood. You have been in this mood for so long that is the only mood you know how to position yourself in and feel secure, even though it made you feel terrible.
People around you, including your daughter, play roles in the drama you created.
The only way to extricate yourself is YOU love yourself. DO NOT Expect anyone else to do the job for you!
That job should have been done by your mother long time ago. But she didn't do it. The time has long passed. You are the only one left if this job is to be done.
Put yourself as Priority #1. This is not being selfish. This is being responsible and accountable for yourself. So far you have been off-loading that burden onto your daughter by seeking her love that you didn't get from your own mother. You became a co-dependent she can manipulate and control just as your own mother did to you so long ago and still doing.
Reclaim your own life. You are worthy of your love. Don't leave that job to anyone else.
比如我和我女儿冷战好几天了 昨天刚刚好 可是出门她还是给我脸色看 一路甩脸子给我
回来我妈妈又骂我了我 我昨晚心情很不好 然后想我为什么做这么多可是结果都是这么坏的
没有人爱我 我哭了一会儿 我要爱一下我自己 明天去吃我想吃的餐厅
然后早上就和女儿说我要去吃我自己的餐厅了 过去一直你喜欢的餐厅没有一家我喜欢 我吃完在回来陪你
然后女儿就生气了
我不是早上又有了小情绪了 我这么控制自己的情绪
吃完回来我又忍不住在房间大哭了一会儿 说是大哭其实就是狂流眼泪没声音的所以女儿和我妈不知道
这种事我一般都迁就娃。娃喜欢去哪家，如果没有其他不去的理由，那就去啊。除非想去的那家明显不好，那我就否决，提个其他建议，大家都说好那就去了。
实在控制不了你自己走开一会儿。
她一点空间，她现在跟你的矛盾是因为你步步紧逼，她现在对你没有那种温情，你的任何举动她都会反感。你先放手，她自己会走出青春期的。另外你妈妈在你们的生活里是什么角色我不知道，不知道你的情绪问题是不是原生家庭造成的。有网友建议你看一下心理医生也是有道理的。
会觉得你说的一直去自己不喜欢的餐馆而怪到自己身上。其实遇到这样的情况心里委屈是正常的，你自己大哭一下对自己也好。可以冷静下来跟女儿好好谈谈，也让女儿说出她对你的不满，切记这时候只听不要再吵起来
娃说朋友介绍的，review怎么怎么好。那我们就跟他去了啊。进去里面其实地方挺大，人也挺多。现烤的烤肉串的确好吃。所以以后还会再去。
和前夫离婚后整个人就像船没有锚一样。再婚之后心又有了归属感就像船又有了锚一样，情绪也就稳定了。
就高高兴兴的享受。你的决定，你的言语，你的行为，你要100% 负责， own it 100%, 跟他人无关。不喜欢的，事先就说出来，跟孩子事先就好好商量。一旦决定了，事后事中间你都要100% own it, 不要把任何的不好推给别人。做一个有担当的人。
你就想着，自己比她站得高，心胸大，可以包容她，你带她到这个世界的，好好对她：）
to be in this mood. You have been in this mood for so long that is the only mood you know how to position yourself in and feel secure, even though it made you feel terrible.
People around you, including your daughter, play roles in the drama you created.
The only way to extricate yourself is YOU love yourself. DO NOT Expect anyone else to do the job for you!
That job should have been done by your mother long time ago. But she didn't do it. The time has long passed. You are the only one left if this job is to be done.
Put yourself as Priority #1. This is not being selfish. This is being responsible and accountable for yourself. So far you have been off-loading that burden onto your daughter by seeking her love that you didn't get from your own mother. You became a co-dependent she can manipulate and control just as your own mother did to you so long ago and still doing.
Reclaim your own life. You are worthy of your love. Don't leave that job to anyone else.
I don't care if any of my kids are mad. They get mad all the time.
No big deal.
不过我建议你转移注意力， 去看看你人生的清单上还有哪些自己的梦想或自己特别想去做的事情， 把自己的注意力转移去自己想做的事情上。 每一个人的生活都是自己经历出来的，给孩子自己走路的机会跌倒的机会失败的机会，越小经历这些成本越小，天塌不下来，可能反而学会了成长和感恩，因为没有什么事情是必然和必须的。
你妈妈要是和你女儿一起反对你，你肯定有理也变没理。先把你妈妈搞定。告诉她你管自己的女儿的时候她不应该干涉，如果她有建议也不能当你女儿的面骂你。可以私下和你商量。她如果做不到就请她回自己家，不要在你家搅合。
你去吃自己喜欢的餐厅有什么错？你女儿生气就让她气去吧。你难道不是人不能有自己的喜好？你上餐厅花她的钱了还要看她的脸色？你下次还去你自己喜欢的餐厅。多气气就习惯了。你活得越卑微，她越不尊重你。