I hardly ever give perfect scores, but this is well-earned! You paid close attention to details and evidence throughout the project, and your ending reflects your effort. It's SO well-written and engaging, and your inclusion of creative details adds so much to the reader's engagement in the story. It is clear that you put in a lot of thought and revision to create an excellent project. Thank you for sharing your talents with us - I enjoy reading your work!
我女儿7年级的一个作业的节选。
"I'm sorry, but if I may, I might have to present this case to everyone," I say.
I could feel faint, moist sweat on the face of my forehead. It's a bold claim. I don't know if I crossed a line. Helene seemed peeved, and I couldn't tell if she was to cut my paycheck or veto me. I'd instead do a public presentation anyway. Even if it was in private, I was a bit threatened by the presence of Helene Shaw. Her glaring jade cat eyes and almost tacky purple outfit were too much for me. I nervously clicked my blue ballpoint pen, tightly secured in my sweaty palms.
Helene's eyebrows slowly raised, and she looked somewhat confused by my statement. She walked in my direction and stopped about a foot away from me.
"Very well then, but make it quick. I need this to be done before the art investors arrive, which would be around the evening..." Helene trails off, and I can only sigh quietly in relief. She dramatically opened her violently violet folding fan and began slowly fanning herself. I direct my eyes to the portrait on my left. Titus and Jasper Shaw both gazed at me with those emotionless eyes. I stare back at Helene, who is waiting for my response.
"Thank you. I'll try my best to make it quick," I respond quickly, bowing my head slightly. I wouldn't normally do something so cliché, but it was worth the risk if I could get some extra bucks from the citizens. I open the door to reveal the crowd near the city hall. Squinting my brown eyes, I could see the suspects---all lined up in the front. I sighed and readjusted my navy blue cap, which reminded me all too well of the taxi driver.
It was finally time to reveal who committed the crime.
~.~
It's not an exaggeration when I say that the place was crowded. Even more than when Mayor Killian was making her speech, which was a bit of a surprise. I suppose some citizens favour other political candidates. There were so many people I had to squeeze by a few people. I pushed through the crowd---that smelled of anger and fear, and suddenly saw a familiar face.
"Hello, detective! Fancy seeing you here, I hear you're making your final verdict. One word of advice--- the citizens of Graywick can get a bit... Rowdy and impatient," the taxi driver replies. He gives me a soft smile and adjusts his sunglasses. His smile turns into a deadpan expression as he faces the front of the city hall. Huh. I always find it odd whenever we meet, the taxi driver gives me advice. Though, this time will be the last he'll ever do it.
"Hey---aren't you that detective fellow everyone's been yabbering about? I'd advise you better go up to the front." Said the old lad (from when I met Alissandra) coincidentally next to me.
"Uh, yeah," I reply, giving a nervous grin. Honestly, I'm just glad he didn't say something like, "It's a small world." My biggest pet peeve is when someone says it when they've only met the person twice.
I awkwardly shimmied down the traffic of people before I ended up at the front. I could feel everyone's gaze fixed on me. I clenched my notes tightly in my left hand and the pen in the right. This was it. After this, it was going to be over. The anticipation was killing me, and the air fell quiet as the crowd watched me stumble to the front. This was the moment I told what I believed to be the truth when I revealed my sightings, and this is where this case will end. No matter what, I had to stand and say my claim loud and clear. I looked at the boisterous crowd, relaxed my shoulders, took a deep breath and began my case.
"Citizens of Graywick. As you know, I am the sole detective working on the #findthefish case, and I believe I'm ready to tell my case." I began, almost gagging at the "#findthefish" part and not because of the stupid hashtag. I could already tell it would be rough since I have ichthyophobia---a fear of fish. Honestly, it boggles me why I even did this case on a... Stolen fish statue.
"Anyway, I have gathered the suspects today to identify who stole the Icon. I truly want to build a world where you can rest safely and not be afraid of criminals that can appear at any moment, so please do not be afraid and keep calm," I add. I could hear some murmurs amongst the crowd.
"Now, during the vernissage---there were some interesting events that were occurring," I say, stroking my chin like I had a Gandalf beard.
"From my witnesses, I found that Minerva Constantine and Alissandra Killian were the ones to leave the earliest," I remarked. I could see the crowd shifting their eyes to the both of them---who were slouching over, avoiding the crowd's piercing glare.
"...But there is exculpatory proof they didn't commit the crime," I continued. "First of all, from my first two witnesses," I quickly sneak a glance at Bill and Ed, who were nervously twiddling their thumbs. "I found that the mayor was quick to leave. However, this was disproved when my third witness saw musical mallets sticking out of her bag. This could mean many things, but another key piece of evidence is... She doesn't quite care about the... Fish statue. To elaborate, my first and second witnesses, on the night of the crime, were taking a photo of Alissandra in front of the statue---except it wasn't the correct statue. Why behave this way? From her behavioural actions, she couldn't have stolen it." I end, allowing myself to take a deep breath. I could see Alissandra exhaling so loudly I could feel a gust of wind.
I sigh quietly with relief. I was worried I was using the words of my witnesses---Bill, Ed, and Maverick a few more times than necessary. However, I trust their words because they're all innocent civilians. Well, some of them.
I click the blue ballpoint pen on my chin and readjust my notes to reach eye level.
"Next suspect to discuss is Minerva Constantine," I say, pausing at the end for dramatic effect. I don't know if it worked, but the crowd seemed rowdy, so I'll assume it did.
"Now, there isn't much proof that she is innocent, but there is one detail that stands out from the rest. From my witness description of the criminal, the person was described as skinny, tall, and weirdly agile, and in their hand was the Graywick Icon." I start, pursing my lips. "Now, Minerva is considerably close in age to Titus Shaw---who unfortunately recently passed away. It wouldn't make sense if she were to be agile as an old woman, correct?" I say, waiting for the crowd to answer. Some spoke in nods, while others verbally said "yes," but it seemed they all had a similar response.
"What if she had an accomplice?" A voice shouts from the crowd. The people of Graywick go silent, waiting for my response. I shuffle through my notes about Minerva---before making eye contact with the people.
"You make a good point, but there's practically no proof that Minerva had ever had an accomplice. To me, it seems that she is more of a red herring than anything." I reply. It was sloppy reasoning, yes, but during my five-day vacation here, there wasn't much that suggested Minnie was suspicious. I could see some skeptical eyes in the crowd.
"Now, to move on to the people who exited moderately later," I stated, licking my finger and flipping my notes to the next page. "Maverick Danthrope, Bill and Ed, " I call their names. I glance at Maverick, and much to my dismay, his hair looks greasier and his complexion paler than the last time I saw him.
"From Danthrope's testimony, he exited not long after Alissandra and visited the back of Shaw Manor to gaze at the... pond near Bill and Ed's boat," I mentioned, giving an awkward look to the audience, "And found a secret back entrance to Shaw Manor while observing, " I add, tracing the paper with my finger.
"Which means someone well-versed in the layout would know about this secret entrance, which could be the potential thief, as Helene Shaw saw it missing fairly quickly," I grimly state, and Helene nods slightly.
"Moving onto Bill and Ed themself, they were the last ones to exit during Titus Shaw's vernissage a few days ago. To put it short---they are innocent. Helene Shaw can confirm when I say this, but they were with her the entire time. Do you agree, Ms. Shaw?" I call out to her nervously.
"Indeed," she said, "they were in my presence the entire time, but how are you so sure they're innocent?" She scoffed at me, narrowing her emerald eyes.
"You make a good point, Ms Shaw, but allow me to explain. During my interview, they didn't show signs of guilt, fear, or any emotion indicating it. From my past years of experience: Some are confident, some are cocky, some are emotional, and some are good at hiding it. But in this case, the last example is quite rare. I'm not saying it's fully impossible, but unless I can get another witness, I will declare them innocent. Besides that, I have proof of who committed the crime," I retort. I pause for a second before pursing my lips. The crowd fixated their eyes on me.
"But now let's talk about which one of these people stole the Graywick Icon," I say, gazing at the suspects. The eyes of the crowd, who were glaring at me, directed their stares to the suspects.
"From the night, I learnt that shortly after Bill and Ed leave, they found a figure running with an object that appears to be similar to the Graywick Icon. 15″ and reflected in the moonlight---a near-perfect description. My notes suggest that the figure went through the back door and stole the Graywick Icon. Only a person well-versed in the layout of Shaw Manor would know it exists---which leads me to my next point." I declare. The crowd already started shouting who they believed did it, "Minnie! It's Minnie! Why else would she have visited Titus so much?" and, "It's Helene! She's doing it for attention."
"Silence," I hiss. The people go silent. "All of you have wonderful ideas---but allow me to enter a new candidate in this scenario, Jasper Shaw. The son of the late Titus Shaw and Helene Shaw, I believe he committed the crime. Constantine---while yes, she does know Titus, I doubt they would be talking about anything apart from dimes. Jasper Shaw knows the layout of the Shaw Manor perfectly and would be able to commit the crime from his perspective," I say.
"Isn't that right, taxi driver?" I ask, directing my gaze to the taxi driver, replicating his signature smile. Unfortunately, I received silence as his response.
"Oh, but that's not all. There is another criminal amongst us---Maverick Danthrope. Not only did Shaw commit the crime, but so did Danthrope," I add to my statement. I could hear some gasps, some gossip, and some doubts. Though, I would make sure to clear them.
"Allow me to prove this. From my witnesses, the figure was tall and deathly. It matches Maverick's description, and his overall appearance looks very malnourished---which aligns with what I said. During his interview, he was nervous when discussing who the criminal could be, which was odd considering he was confident beforehand. Not only that, Bill and Ed show a clear disdain for him. Though Maverick never shared this hatred, I find it weird the people who dislike him are my only witnesses who saw the criminal. Danthrope's alibi doesn't make much sense and is all over the place. This makes me think he is guilty, not just for one crime." I volubly spoke.
"Visiting his pet store, you find a variety of exotic animals---some of which do not belong in a cage. It's questionable why he's not in jail yet, but there is a reason. Maverick is a newcomer to Graywick, so he would've run away from many places before arriving here. Keyword: run. He likely has had previous experiences of running away from authorities, so it would be crystal clear why he could run away as soon as he spotted my witnesses. Danthrope naturally has night vision as well because when I visited him, the lights were off, and he was awake. So he could've stolen the Graywick Icon, went near Bill and Ed's house to get an alibi, and escaped through the forest," I explain.
"Now, I'll discuss the taxi driver. Firstly, when I visited Danthrope, he coincidentally happened to be there. But anyway, I caught a glimpse of his eyes, blue and jade---just like Jasper. The odds of that being possible is less than 0.001% since less than 1% of the population have heterochromia, especially since they even have the same gender and eye colour. So, I can concur that they are the same person. Now, to prove he committed the crime. Firstly, during the night of the crime, he waited in front of Shaw Manor in his taxi cab. It was clear he was waiting for someone to come, and he stood like that until the vernissage was over. Another detail is his odd dislike towards Bill and Ed. From his tone, I can tell he doesn't exactly like them. Which is weird because, from my 5-day journey, he enjoyed the people of Graywick---except them." I add, making sure to take a breath. "A bit coincidental, right? The only people he shows disdain for are the ones who witnessed Maverick steal the statue," I continue explaining.
"So that is who I believe stole the Graywick Icon, Maverick Danthrope and the taxi driver---or Jasper Shaw," I conclude, giving a soft bow to the audience. Helene stares at me- not a glare but rather one of satisfaction.
"Thank you, detective. I'll be certain to inform the authorities and the art investors," Helene snarkily says, flashing me what appears to be a million-dollar smile. Only her smile was instead a 2-dollar one.
I sigh, flipping open my list of cases to be done. I check off the Graywick Enigma case with my ballpoint pen and redirect my fingers to the next mystery...
也可能走的很深。反之亦然。对12岁以上的孩子都适用，对CS，数学，文学，音乐，艺术，体育应该都同样适用
他俩的英语，从小（grade 4开始）好到现在。作业一般都是满分。
老师的评语：
100/100
I hardly ever give perfect scores, but this is well-earned! You paid close attention to details and evidence throughout the project, and your ending reflects your effort. It's SO well-written and engaging, and your inclusion of creative details adds so much to the reader's engagement in the story. It is clear that you put in a lot of thought and revision to create an excellent project. Thank you for sharing your talents with us - I enjoy reading your work!
我女儿7年级的一个作业的节选。
"I'm sorry, but if I may, I might have to present this case to everyone," I say.
I could feel faint, moist sweat on the face of my forehead. It's a bold claim. I don't know if I crossed a line. Helene seemed peeved, and I couldn't tell if she was to cut my paycheck or veto me. I'd instead do a public presentation anyway. Even if it was in private, I was a bit threatened by the presence of Helene Shaw. Her glaring jade cat eyes and almost tacky purple outfit were too much for me. I nervously clicked my blue ballpoint pen, tightly secured in my sweaty palms.
Helene's eyebrows slowly raised, and she looked somewhat confused by my statement. She walked in my direction and stopped about a foot away from me.
"Very well then, but make it quick. I need this to be done before the art investors arrive, which would be around the evening..." Helene trails off, and I can only sigh quietly in relief. She dramatically opened her violently violet folding fan and began slowly fanning herself. I direct my eyes to the portrait on my left. Titus and Jasper Shaw both gazed at me with those emotionless eyes. I stare back at Helene, who is waiting for my response.
"Thank you. I'll try my best to make it quick," I respond quickly, bowing my head slightly. I wouldn't normally do something so cliché, but it was worth the risk if I could get some extra bucks from the citizens. I open the door to reveal the crowd near the city hall. Squinting my brown eyes, I could see the suspects---all lined up in the front. I sighed and readjusted my navy blue cap, which reminded me all too well of the taxi driver.
It was finally time to reveal who committed the crime.
~.~
It's not an exaggeration when I say that the place was crowded. Even more than when Mayor Killian was making her speech, which was a bit of a surprise. I suppose some citizens favour other political candidates. There were so many people I had to squeeze by a few people. I pushed through the crowd---that smelled of anger and fear, and suddenly saw a familiar face.
"Hello, detective! Fancy seeing you here, I hear you're making your final verdict. One word of advice--- the citizens of Graywick can get a bit... Rowdy and impatient," the taxi driver replies. He gives me a soft smile and adjusts his sunglasses. His smile turns into a deadpan expression as he faces the front of the city hall. Huh. I always find it odd whenever we meet, the taxi driver gives me advice. Though, this time will be the last he'll ever do it.
"Hey---aren't you that detective fellow everyone's been yabbering about? I'd advise you better go up to the front." Said the old lad (from when I met Alissandra) coincidentally next to me.
"Uh, yeah," I reply, giving a nervous grin. Honestly, I'm just glad he didn't say something like, "It's a small world." My biggest pet peeve is when someone says it when they've only met the person twice.
I awkwardly shimmied down the traffic of people before I ended up at the front. I could feel everyone's gaze fixed on me. I clenched my notes tightly in my left hand and the pen in the right. This was it. After this, it was going to be over. The anticipation was killing me, and the air fell quiet as the crowd watched me stumble to the front. This was the moment I told what I believed to be the truth when I revealed my sightings, and this is where this case will end. No matter what, I had to stand and say my claim loud and clear. I looked at the boisterous crowd, relaxed my shoulders, took a deep breath and began my case.
"Citizens of Graywick. As you know, I am the sole detective working on the #findthefish case, and I believe I'm ready to tell my case." I began, almost gagging at the "#findthefish" part and not because of the stupid hashtag. I could already tell it would be rough since I have ichthyophobia---a fear of fish. Honestly, it boggles me why I even did this case on a... Stolen fish statue.
"Anyway, I have gathered the suspects today to identify who stole the Icon. I truly want to build a world where you can rest safely and not be afraid of criminals that can appear at any moment, so please do not be afraid and keep calm," I add. I could hear some murmurs amongst the crowd.
"Now, during the vernissage---there were some interesting events that were occurring," I say, stroking my chin like I had a Gandalf beard.
"From my witnesses, I found that Minerva Constantine and Alissandra Killian were the ones to leave the earliest," I remarked. I could see the crowd shifting their eyes to the both of them---who were slouching over, avoiding the crowd's piercing glare.
"...But there is exculpatory proof they didn't commit the crime," I continued. "First of all, from my first two witnesses," I quickly sneak a glance at Bill and Ed, who were nervously twiddling their thumbs. "I found that the mayor was quick to leave. However, this was disproved when my third witness saw musical mallets sticking out of her bag. This could mean many things, but another key piece of evidence is... She doesn't quite care about the... Fish statue. To elaborate, my first and second witnesses, on the night of the crime, were taking a photo of Alissandra in front of the statue---except it wasn't the correct statue. Why behave this way? From her behavioural actions, she couldn't have stolen it." I end, allowing myself to take a deep breath. I could see Alissandra exhaling so loudly I could feel a gust of wind.
I sigh quietly with relief. I was worried I was using the words of my witnesses---Bill, Ed, and Maverick a few more times than necessary. However, I trust their words because they're all innocent civilians. Well, some of them.
I click the blue ballpoint pen on my chin and readjust my notes to reach eye level.
"Next suspect to discuss is Minerva Constantine," I say, pausing at the end for dramatic effect. I don't know if it worked, but the crowd seemed rowdy, so I'll assume it did.
"Now, there isn't much proof that she is innocent, but there is one detail that stands out from the rest. From my witness description of the criminal, the person was described as skinny, tall, and weirdly agile, and in their hand was the Graywick Icon." I start, pursing my lips. "Now, Minerva is considerably close in age to Titus Shaw---who unfortunately recently passed away. It wouldn't make sense if she were to be agile as an old woman, correct?" I say, waiting for the crowd to answer. Some spoke in nods, while others verbally said "yes," but it seemed they all had a similar response.
"What if she had an accomplice?" A voice shouts from the crowd. The people of Graywick go silent, waiting for my response. I shuffle through my notes about Minerva---before making eye contact with the people.
"You make a good point, but there's practically no proof that Minerva had ever had an accomplice. To me, it seems that she is more of a red herring than anything." I reply. It was sloppy reasoning, yes, but during my five-day vacation here, there wasn't much that suggested Minnie was suspicious. I could see some skeptical eyes in the crowd.
"Now, to move on to the people who exited moderately later," I stated, licking my finger and flipping my notes to the next page. "Maverick Danthrope, Bill and Ed, " I call their names. I glance at Maverick, and much to my dismay, his hair looks greasier and his complexion paler than the last time I saw him.
"From Danthrope's testimony, he exited not long after Alissandra and visited the back of Shaw Manor to gaze at the... pond near Bill and Ed's boat," I mentioned, giving an awkward look to the audience, "And found a secret back entrance to Shaw Manor while observing, " I add, tracing the paper with my finger.
"Which means someone well-versed in the layout would know about this secret entrance, which could be the potential thief, as Helene Shaw saw it missing fairly quickly," I grimly state, and Helene nods slightly.
"Moving onto Bill and Ed themself, they were the last ones to exit during Titus Shaw's vernissage a few days ago. To put it short---they are innocent. Helene Shaw can confirm when I say this, but they were with her the entire time. Do you agree, Ms. Shaw?" I call out to her nervously.
"Indeed," she said, "they were in my presence the entire time, but how are you so sure they're innocent?" She scoffed at me, narrowing her emerald eyes.
"You make a good point, Ms Shaw, but allow me to explain. During my interview, they didn't show signs of guilt, fear, or any emotion indicating it. From my past years of experience: Some are confident, some are cocky, some are emotional, and some are good at hiding it. But in this case, the last example is quite rare. I'm not saying it's fully impossible, but unless I can get another witness, I will declare them innocent. Besides that, I have proof of who committed the crime," I retort. I pause for a second before pursing my lips. The crowd fixated their eyes on me.
"But now let's talk about which one of these people stole the Graywick Icon," I say, gazing at the suspects. The eyes of the crowd, who were glaring at me, directed their stares to the suspects.
"From the night, I learnt that shortly after Bill and Ed leave, they found a figure running with an object that appears to be similar to the Graywick Icon. 15″ and reflected in the moonlight---a near-perfect description. My notes suggest that the figure went through the back door and stole the Graywick Icon. Only a person well-versed in the layout of Shaw Manor would know it exists---which leads me to my next point." I declare. The crowd already started shouting who they believed did it, "Minnie! It's Minnie! Why else would she have visited Titus so much?" and, "It's Helene! She's doing it for attention."
"Silence," I hiss. The people go silent. "All of you have wonderful ideas---but allow me to enter a new candidate in this scenario, Jasper Shaw. The son of the late Titus Shaw and Helene Shaw, I believe he committed the crime. Constantine---while yes, she does know Titus, I doubt they would be talking about anything apart from dimes. Jasper Shaw knows the layout of the Shaw Manor perfectly and would be able to commit the crime from his perspective," I say.
"Isn't that right, taxi driver?" I ask, directing my gaze to the taxi driver, replicating his signature smile. Unfortunately, I received silence as his response.
"Oh, but that's not all. There is another criminal amongst us---Maverick Danthrope. Not only did Shaw commit the crime, but so did Danthrope," I add to my statement. I could hear some gasps, some gossip, and some doubts. Though, I would make sure to clear them.
"Allow me to prove this. From my witnesses, the figure was tall and deathly. It matches Maverick's description, and his overall appearance looks very malnourished---which aligns with what I said. During his interview, he was nervous when discussing who the criminal could be, which was odd considering he was confident beforehand. Not only that, Bill and Ed show a clear disdain for him. Though Maverick never shared this hatred, I find it weird the people who dislike him are my only witnesses who saw the criminal. Danthrope's alibi doesn't make much sense and is all over the place. This makes me think he is guilty, not just for one crime." I volubly spoke.
"Visiting his pet store, you find a variety of exotic animals---some of which do not belong in a cage. It's questionable why he's not in jail yet, but there is a reason. Maverick is a newcomer to Graywick, so he would've run away from many places before arriving here. Keyword: run. He likely has had previous experiences of running away from authorities, so it would be crystal clear why he could run away as soon as he spotted my witnesses. Danthrope naturally has night vision as well because when I visited him, the lights were off, and he was awake. So he could've stolen the Graywick Icon, went near Bill and Ed's house to get an alibi, and escaped through the forest," I explain.
"Now, I'll discuss the taxi driver. Firstly, when I visited Danthrope, he coincidentally happened to be there. But anyway, I caught a glimpse of his eyes, blue and jade---just like Jasper. The odds of that being possible is less than 0.001% since less than 1% of the population have heterochromia, especially since they even have the same gender and eye colour. So, I can concur that they are the same person. Now, to prove he committed the crime. Firstly, during the night of the crime, he waited in front of Shaw Manor in his taxi cab. It was clear he was waiting for someone to come, and he stood like that until the vernissage was over. Another detail is his odd dislike towards Bill and Ed. From his tone, I can tell he doesn't exactly like them. Which is weird because, from my 5-day journey, he enjoyed the people of Graywick---except them." I add, making sure to take a breath. "A bit coincidental, right? The only people he shows disdain for are the ones who witnessed Maverick steal the statue," I continue explaining.
"So that is who I believe stole the Graywick Icon, Maverick Danthrope and the taxi driver---or Jasper Shaw," I conclude, giving a soft bow to the audience. Helene stares at me- not a glare but rather one of satisfaction.
"Thank you, detective. I'll be certain to inform the authorities and the art investors," Helene snarkily says, flashing me what appears to be a million-dollar smile. Only her smile was instead a 2-dollar one.
I sigh, flipping open my list of cases to be done. I check off the Graywick Enigma case with my ballpoint pen and redirect my fingers to the next mystery...
scholastic写作比赛，学校写作club的孩子七年级开始就参加写作比赛，不知道是不是scholatic
我应该找你家娃给我家的二哈当writing的tutor啊
别卷数学了，没什么意思，升学方面都知道是我们Asian的专利
我家有两个娃都得过重要的写作奖。