Conflict between Family Members in the Event There Is No POA
What are the consequences of not having a power of attorney prepared in the case of incapacitation? Generally, decisions about a person’s financial and medical management are made according to the laws of the state they live in. In the event of medical incapacitation, usually a family member will be called upon to make any important decisions in the absence of a power of attorney. In this situation, difficulties can arise if there is more than one family member and they differ on the course of medical action.
Even more difficulties can arise if there are no family members available at all. In this case, medical decisions will be made by attending medical staff according to what they feel is in the best interest of the patient, and this might not always be what the patient actually wanted, but the absence of any durable power of attorney makes this inevitable.
上次我爸住院，病房对面住了个老印老太，白天老印老头时时站在病房门口无助地看着人来人往，晚上老头回家，老太常常整夜叫唤也没人管。有一天我问候了老头几句，才知道老太癌症晚期全身扩散，痛得不行但是护士没工夫细调止痛药，所以晚上嗷嗷叫。他们想回家hospice但老头一个人弄不了 (子女都在外地)。我建议他去找 In patient hosoice，但老头说要求了但没人理他，自己又不会办。我把机构名称电话写给他了，让他要求社工帮着办出院转去 in patient hospice. 后来怎么样了我也没跟踪。
授权委托书（Power of Attorney)的重要性。
美国养老院的故事 | www.wenxuecity.com
前几天我一个香港朋友和她老公来我家，要我在他们的POA申请文件上作证人签字。
她老公的那份，她和俩个儿子是执行人。
她那份，只有两个儿子是执行人。
她老公比她小几岁，有顾虑正常的。虽然他现在都听她的，以后也有可能什么都听别人的。
挺好的，我老公也在，我以前还没想到可以这样做。
三人的，决定事情要表决通过还是必须三人全同意？
全通过方法：比如房子，一人不签字，房子永远不可卖直到死亡。
表决方法：2:1， 后妈占弱势
看到这里二婚的喜欢动脑筋把家产留给亲生子女，我最近看到的两个例子都是后婚的配偶比亲生子女靠谱多了。
一个是老中女离婚后嫁了老美男，有一个上了大藤工作也好的优秀前婚儿子。她后来不幸得了癌症，所有求医看病都是二婚夫全心全意照料。后来快不行了儿子才回来看她，最后临终看护还不如这女的几个老中邻居上心。
第二个例子是我前同事和朋友，老白女。她年轻时嫁了个离了婚有两个娃的男同学。老大女娃跟前妻，老二儿子是她帮着养大的。她老公很能干，自己开公司挣了不少钱。这几年她老公癌症，到处奔波所有治疗都是这女的操办，两娃在外地，就偶尔打个电话问问。后来也是癌症扩散选择hospice. 儿子伤了腰没法坐飞机来最后看老爸, 女儿倒是带着三个外孙子女来了，但一个星期就去看了老爸短暂的两三次，其他时间忙着和朋友聚会和shopping. 她来的目的就是确保自己和娃在老爸的遗嘱里。
当然也有配偶不靠谱的。和人的关系是要长期 Cultivate的，不能等老病不行了才想着靠这个靠那个
狗来的：
Conflict between Family Members in the Event There Is No POAWhat are the consequences of not having a power of attorney prepared in the case of incapacitation? Generally, decisions about a person’s financial and medical management are made according to the laws of the state they live in. In the event of medical incapacitation, usually a family member will be called upon to make any important decisions in the absence of a power of attorney. In this situation, difficulties can arise if there is more than one family member and they differ on the course of medical action.
Even more difficulties can arise if there are no family members available at all. In this case, medical decisions will be made by attending medical staff according to what they feel is in the best interest of the patient, and this might not always be what the patient actually wanted, but the absence of any durable power of attorney makes this inevitable.
给血亲的一半是立马给，其他的trust慢慢给
90以后就随便了，进养老院差不多就是等死了
小病从医，大病从死。每个人都应该为自己的一生负责。
上次我爸住院，病房对面住了个老印老太，白天老印老头时时站在病房门口无助地看着人来人往，晚上老头回家，老太常常整夜叫唤也没人管。有一天我问候了老头几句，才知道老太癌症晚期全身扩散，痛得不行但是护士没工夫细调止痛药，所以晚上嗷嗷叫。他们想回家hospice但老头一个人弄不了 (子女都在外地)。我建议他去找 In patient hosoice，但老头说要求了但没人理他，自己又不会办。我把机构名称电话写给他了，让他要求社工帮着办出院转去 in patient hospice. 后来怎么样了我也没跟踪。
后来我一个医生朋友说，病人有保险cover的话医院留着病人好赚钱，谁费那个劲去帮你转啊，还损失income。人生病了一定要有人为病人advocate，否则就是系统的刀俎
我被招去做副校长秘书的assistant， 有钱拿的， 每周有多少小时。
副校长对我们很好， 感恩节， 我们还去她家搞活动啥的。
有次， 我要去加拿大就和副校长聊天了， 她反正算特别， 特别帮忙的那种。
我很感谢她， 然后， 她说， 她对国际学生都很帮忙， 因为好多老师， 教授的奖金， 部分工资都是要靠国际学生的学费来分发的。中国的国际学生学费是学校的可观的资金来源。。。
我第一次听到有年长， 有一定威望的人和我从这个角度聊的， 所以， 特别震惊， 也牢牢记住了