In your old job, you were driven by fear, fear of not having enough. Nothing is wrong to be driven by fear; most are.
Now, that fear has diminished due to accumulated wealth. So your mind is less focused.
Your mind needs an external reference point. It used to be fear. Can it now be something else, such as seeing your children have a full time mother?
The ideal case is to move that reference point into your self, i.e., ask what do I want for myself. But that requires too much change, almost impossible.
Not making a decision is a decision in itself. Taking responsibility for oneself is often the hardest.
On the bright side, many wish they had your problem.
That's so true for me. Thanks so much for pointing out
My problems and your suggestions.
移民美国后,因为害怕,I studied extremely hard to get my degree. 因为那是我在美国唯一的出路,我不希望一辈子打工厂或者商店工作。毕业了,工作了,生娃了,买房子,经济有压力,工作努力,fear driven again. 娃爸公司被acquired 后,我就变得越来越不专心,越来越不想工作了,但又不甘心不工作,纠结,我以为我中年危机了。
Treat yourself better because you are worthy (Don't leave that job to anyone else.) Also, you're setting an example for your children, on how they should treat themselves, thus how they want to be treated by others.
you feel more secure only when you're busy working or taking care of things. It may have stemed from your childhood when your parents' approval came only when you were doing your chores. It conditioned a reflex in you that connects feeling secure (安全感)and being busy. Or putting it the other way: you feel insecure if you don't feel busy.
When you feel lethargic at work, it might be your unconscious self telling you: hey, I've been used long enough; I need some pampering too.
去年,辞职,搬家,旅行,安置小孩上学,忙得不过来。日子过得非常快。
当所有的事安顿好,觉得自己离退休还有很长一段时间,就又上班了,几个月下来,心无法定下来,很难专心工作。开始烦工作,想着不干了。但是怕自己又后悔。
纠缠。
1 do you need the money
2 do you need the job (vs sleeping at home...)
现在没动力了。
觉得自己还年轻,不甘心。
还有孩子的爸爸是否支持你退休?
那还有啥悬念啊。。。每天只睡两觉。。。
一觉从晚上到早上。。。
一觉从早上到晚上。。。
如果好好的投资应该可以。我没什么消费,对包包珠宝完全无感。一年也化不了几个钱。
我妈说我,我在你这个年龄才来美国工作,再说女人自己赚钱,说话有中气。回去上班。
小命儿一条,算了,物质要求不高,就这样混混吧
有趣的事很多,值得我们去做的事也很多。
也普遍缺安全感。我认识的好多都够资格(经济上)退休了年龄也差不多到了,有的身体也不太好但是死活抓住一份工作不放手。
觉得自己特别忙,忙生活,忙自己的爱好,忙运动。。。。
我妈觉得我还能工作,不要随便放弃。没工作整个人很容易变颓废。
你有小孩,做饭接送上学,接送课外活动,这些事有规律,也花时间,乘年轻多花时间给自己,给家庭很好的。
年纪大了,体力不如以前了,力不从心的话,何必还要去给别人打工?自己的身心健康比钱重要多了,而且你也不缺钱。
you don't want to be the one making the decision.
In your old job, you were driven by fear, fear of not having enough. Nothing is wrong to be driven by fear; most are.
Now, that fear has diminished due to accumulated wealth. So your mind is less focused.
Your mind needs an external reference point. It used to be fear. Can it now be something else, such as seeing your children have a full time mother?
The ideal case is to move that reference point into your self, i.e., ask what do I want for myself. But that requires too much change, almost impossible.
Not making a decision is a decision in itself. Taking responsibility for oneself is often the hardest.
On the bright side, many wish they had your problem.
解决问题要解决根本,治病要治本,不能只治表。
So just quit the job, 每天去图书馆读读书,回家做做饭,多陪陪孩子,时间不要太好打发了。
多美好的日子哦
My problems and your suggestions.
移民美国后,因为害怕,I studied extremely hard to get my degree. 因为那是我在美国唯一的出路,我不希望一辈子打工厂或者商店工作。毕业了,工作了,生娃了,买房子,经济有压力,工作努力,fear driven again. 娃爸公司被acquired 后,我就变得越来越不专心,越来越不想工作了,但又不甘心不工作,纠结,我以为我中年危机了。
Treat yourself better because you are worthy (Don't leave that job to anyone else.) Also, you're setting an example for your children, on how they should treat themselves, thus how they want to be treated by others.
("Mom, see? how little I need?")
Fear again. I was afraid that I had mid-life crisis. I really need to work on my fear.
听他的。
假如他希望你在家好好照顾小孩, 那就呆家里呗。
一天一天, 过的好快的
如果我真的不开心,quit.
问题是我想工作,但就是无法专心。每天无比的纠结。
我都退休2年多了, 最近还有电话, 短信问工作的事情。
我想, 工作市场应该还ok的, 不然, 不会有人找。
your unconscious self might get a lift. As a result, you may feel more energy at work and decide to continue for a while more.
It's not easy to decide for sure since you have invested a lot in it.
Godspeed.
之前我退了差不多一年。这上班才两个月,无法专心工作,纠结无比。又不甘心从此不工作。
有可能其实你不想工作?
有可能你不喜欢这份工作?
如果不是为养家而工作,要想上班的话,找份part-time挺好的。这个工作可以是你爱好的,也可以是你想发挥专业之长的,也可以是为社会社区服务的,也可以两者、三者都具备的。
漂亮的包包,珍宝?我物欲不大。
娃爸说我需要个新的goal. ,他说我以前的愿望都有了。我以前的愿望就是有个能养家糊口的工作,老公孩子暖坑头的生活。
本想建议你骑驴找马,可你不差钱的话没必要让自己不舒服
如果这个工作是你喜欢的,那就再辛苦个三五个月,适应了就好了
我不敢说自己不差钱,但工作带给我的成就感和满足是其他任何事情无法取代的,所以我是不想早退休的
不上班以后,我对孩子们有很多耐心和时间,跟他们对话交流,带他们参加各类活动,带他们买衣服(我儿子女儿最近疯涨,衣服一会儿就短了),收拾他们的房间衣柜,带他们出去吃喝玩乐...
如果我上班,收入会高一些,但是人的精力是有限的,我不可能会有充沛的精力教养孩子。
关于安全感,现在的衣食住行我还能manage。将来老了,空巢了,我就去超市收银。我发现超市有很多年龄大的工作人员。
就是数数钱够了,人就一辈子,为啥还要干活挣钱。
我纠结过,因为我现在的体能,完全能承担正常的工作,但是纠结了一年多,放下了。
生不带来 死不带去的,不工作了,好好过余生吧。
就是你还实在太年轻。
因为不专心,我休了一段时间,回去上班,还是不专心。所以我要想办法调整。换工作不是办法。
反正, 家里目前的钱是没问题了, 但是,你目前不专心, 是不是考虑
1.孩子爸爸今后的生活目标和你不一致?
2.怕关系走坏, 两人分手,你再回不到职场目前的好位置?
3.你个人名下的钱, 够不够你过余生?
4.家里钱多, 孩子爸爸会不会又鼓捣一个新公司?新公司盈利和亏损可是很快的一件事。盈利, 大家开心。亏损, 是不是要用你口袋里的钱帮助渡过难关?
我觉得你的关键点还是对孩子爸爸有顾虑, 因为人是动态的, 怕靠不住。
看看我帮着分析的对不对?
你不用回答, 自己去想, 去做决定就可
you feel more secure only when you're busy working or taking care of things. It may have stemed from your childhood when your parents' approval came only when you were doing your chores. It conditioned a reflex in you that connects feeling secure (安全感)and being busy. Or putting it the other way: you feel insecure if you don't feel busy.
When you feel lethargic at work, it might be your unconscious self telling you: hey, I've been used long enough; I need some pampering too.
最好是饭来张口, 衣来伸手, 家里还有用不完的钱, 一个人过, 就没事的。
有一个家, 有孩子, 有配偶, 那就不是一个人那么简单了。
假如你不想工作, 你觉得是都你自己最好的, 但是, 配偶觉得你应该工作。你不工作, 他不爽, 在家里, 给你个冷脸子, 这是对你最好的?
另外的案例, 就是家里小孩小, 男的喜欢女的在家管小孩。女的就在家了, 从此以后, 男的认为是自己赚钱, 就是老大, 开始对老婆态度不好了, 你觉得这是对自己身心最好的?
人是动态的, 要结合方方面面给出相对最好的决定, 然后, 走着瞧。
反正年龄还轻, 有时间矫正的, 楼主不用太纠结了
哈哈哈。如果是我,我只要家里不需要我这份钱,我就不干了。当然,enjoy工作的人除外。。。