He is becoming more self-aware and wants to keep a distance,
thus his long face, to repel you.
Any attempt to get close is viewed as wanting to subsume him again, (as what used to be.)
Treat him as an equal. Respect him as an individual. Give him space. Don't talk down on him. Hard to do for Chinese parents.
Remind him that happiness is a choice; one can always find things to be unhappy about if he wants to. Do not blame others. Be responsible for himself. Try to be helpful to others. Count the blessings and be grateful for the good fortune that he has to be alive here and now.
Read the Bible (children's version) and learn some history, because it all started long before he was born.
我儿子快到teen了,现在每天都沉着脸,我问他是不是要这要那,回答都是NO。问他要啥,回答Nothing,问他学校怎么,回答stuff
终于我忍不住了,前天对他大吼了一阵,说我不deserve your grumpy face
女儿说哥哥是moody teenage
我知道他不是针对我的,但我实在受不了他那张阴沉的脸...
跟一个老同学谈及此事。她说她已经被她teen女儿气得半死,在看心理医生。
他可以摸么。
可以摸的孩子比较好办,不让摸的比较麻烦。
今晚一家三口参加童子军的活动。结束后我说饿,要去买炸鸡,他说NO,因为他不饿。
买了回家,他说不吃,回自己房间,我知道他又在和他朋友聊天(暑期期间,他们有时候一天聊5小时,都在谈游戏),没收了手机,他虎着脸下楼,吃了两块炸鸡,现在和我坐在一起看电视。
再过阵子,更大了,估计你, 根本都没法没收得了手机了。
以我前后经历了三个teens的体会,没啥特别的好法子,除了“熬”着等这个阶段过去。自己慢慢调正心态吧。
小事引起的没必要的摩擦,对彼此都好。我这个不是经验之谈哈,是自己正在摸索的过程中。前段时间感觉管得太细大家都痛苦,而且是负反馈,关系越来越紧张。现在强迫自己忽视一些无关紧要的“小节”,感觉稍微轻松一点点。
没收手机或电脑挺严重的,跟朋友聊天也是解压的一部分。
thus his long face, to repel you.
Any attempt to get close is viewed as wanting to subsume him again, (as what used to be.)
Treat him as an equal. Respect him as an individual. Give him space. Don't talk down on him. Hard to do for Chinese parents.
Remind him that happiness is a choice; one can always find things to be unhappy about if he wants to. Do not blame others. Be responsible for himself. Try to be helpful to others. Count the blessings and be grateful for the good fortune that he has to be alive here and now.
Read the Bible (children's version) and learn some history, because it all started long before he was born.
我儿子当年也是如此,我对儿子说,看你这样我很高兴,说明你在想大事,而且想得很深沉,将来一定挣大钱,到时候,钱花不完,通知爸妈一声,我们帮你安排。现在他的确已经挣大钱了,但是我们还没有接到通知。
我心想你心还挺大。我家大娃的哥们有个开油管频道的,后半夜在被窝里还在编辑视频,这书是没法读了。可是娃还替朋友辩护说有了订阅和点赞之后就有广告费挣。我就问那什么类型的视频订阅最多,他说搞笑的。我冷笑说,可不,大多数人都是这么浪费时间的,你们拍这些视频,不仅浪费自己的时间,还浪费观众的时间,还要别人花时间看广告,你们挣的那一点点钱就是靠榨取别人的生命,而不创造任何有价值的内容,也不算算值不值。
更年期女性脾气坏一样,自己难控制。不如就由他去好了。