Don't believe me, go an English search on Google. That's your pr
有太多事情你没有经历过啦。
You think just because you spoke with a few ABCs that means you understand the entire American experience? You think America is truly a great melting pot just because that's what they tell you in the pamphlets?
Like I said, don't be so naive. You may understand China and have seen the negative aspects of China, but you do NOT understand the truth about America. Sure, some ABCs don't have much ambition and don't mind just living a normal life in the USA, but what if you went to an excellent university and have some inkling to go out and try to take risks, to build your own business? I think you will find that for ABCs who think like this, they will be the first to tell you that the glass ceiling in America against Asians is pretty damn real.
Don't believe me, go an English search on Google. That's your problem. You parents never want to do any reading in English. You come to America, you literally avoid reading any articles in English, and you come back and tell me with a straight face that you understand this country and know what is good for your children? Don't be a liar. You're real reason for coming here is primarily for yourself, your kids are just the side-product of your selfish decision.
you think just b/c I can't use my first language that it's not a
Give me a goddamn break, you think just b/c I can't use my first language that it's not a weapon in my arsenal? Just because I am courteous enough to write an article in Chinese so that most people (who happen to be parents of Chinese-born Americans), will understand. But since you want me to write in English, sure no problem. Let's hope you understand at least half of what I want to say :)
Yeah, yeah keep talking. Everything you are saying is strictly from your own perspective. Ok? Sure, parents aren't living for their kids, but that doesn't mean parents don't play a role in determining your child's destiny. There's a reason children live with their parents until 18 years old - it's because parents make major decisions for their children that are quite often, irreversible.
If as parents, you leave your children in China, there is nothing wrong with that. You leave them in their home country because your son/daughter is Chinese. They are where they are supposed to be. God made them Chinese. But it is your conscious choice to come to America, to bring your kids, who have NOT yet fully acquired their native Mandarin language, to a place (Western Society) that in reality doesn't respect Chinese people, and probably never will. That is your responsiblity to make sure that such a choice is conducive for your children's future!
Case in point - if I bring my future children to Africa, where they are surrounded by black indigenous people, and they grow up not being able to fit in, are you realistically telling me with a straight face that as parents I have zero responsibility in this? This logic is absurd and extremely irresponsible! If as parents, you conciously bring your children out of their natural culture into another foreign country, and they grow up only to find they don't fit in, then are you seriously telling me as parents you have zero responsibility in all of this? Give me a joke!
I have said enough about my point and I rest my case, peacefully :)
I have already started to respond to comments in English, what m
Thank you for your generous commentary. I feel extremely honored that everyone believes that I am some type of sham, not a real ABC. But actually, I am, and English is indeed my native language. If you don't believe me, ask your ABC sons and daughters to read what I am typing and see if they can sense if I am foreign?
Ok, I'll start typing in English if that's what all you Chinese
Seriously, that's why you Chinese parents don't understand anything. If you don't believe that I am truly ABC (which I can honestly tell you from the bottom of my heart that I am), then have your sons and daughters come and inspect what I've written to see if they can sense whether or not I'm native.
I am a fucken ABC that grew up in the East Coast since I was 7! Just accept it people! I am well-versed in USA culture and I know everything about Western culture, movies, you name it!
Give me a fucken break.
I am living proof that ABCs can learn Chinese very well if you have enough motivation. What gives me that motivation? Because as an ABC here in America, if you have any inkling of ambition, you will realize that ABCs have zero fucken advantange in business (including investing, hedge funds, private equity, etc...) or law (law firms, cross-border M&A, etc...) or politics (don't get me started on this).
I'm telling the truth. If you are too weak to understand what I am trying to say, then that's too bad so sad. But I believe there will be some Chinese parents who will understand my key message, which is to inform them not that they can't bring their children to the United States, but that doing so blindly will have repurcussions that are invisible but nevertheless harmful in the long term, especially if they have sons who have plenty of ambition (and who worked their ass off to be admitted to a top university).
More expose for Chinese parents to read (and analyze)
You guys don't understand American culture at all. Americans will never treat us Chinese as true Americans, regardless of how you identify yourself. America was founded by white, rich pilgrims coming from Britain on the Mayflower - white people always wanted this country to be designed truly for the white people, not for any and all immigrants of all shapes and sizes. You think just because you study hard and have a USA passport, that the core USA circle of leaders, financiers, and politicians will treat us as true Americans? Forget about it. Donald Trump's successful ascension to the presidency has demonstrated that Americans are worried about immigrants taking up a greater and greater percentage of the USA population and hence that's why where is so much racial uprising against minorities.
The sooner you understand the truth the easier it will be for you to accept. Don't throw your sons and daughters into the fake American "melting pot" when it was never intended to be such a cosmopolitian nation to begin with. Let them learn Chinese, let them learn China's history, so that when they are older they will have the freedom to make the decision themselves about whether or not they want to come here or stay in China.
LOL you Chinese parents are so lost in your own little imaginary
Why the hell would I pretend to be ABC? You think I have nothing better to do on a Monday night (Martin Luther King holiday just happens). LOL you Chinese parents are so lost in your own little imaginary world you have no idea what reality is like. I'm going to continue studying Chinese. Peace!
For the last time (I'm really tired of responding to these basel
Parents of this forum, please just ask your ABC sons and daughters to read what I'm painstakenly written and ask them if I'm an authentic ABC or not! It's very easy. Just ask them.
I am perfectly capable of expressing myself in English and Chinese with immensely beautiful prose and impeccable logic. HAHA. Just kidding.
Anyways, thanks for participating, have a great evening, and please get some rest!
PS: I will return soon with a sequel to my first article. Stay tuned ....
Self esteem and being proud of who you are is an essential value
of US education, and for whatever reason it's lost on you. If going to China will make you feel superior, go for it. FWIW it's a very Chinese value to be 'superior' to most people, because that's how to get respect in a class society like China.
the woman you are responding to is the type who always ask you to "go back to china" whenever you expresse your favor to china. She is very pround of her being in AMERICA, LOL
observations and his feeling. You may be right someway, but we have to admit the fact that he said is true, especially when you are smart, you work hard, and you have achieved to the level that is supposed to be admaired and pround of by every parent. But you feel you are actually hard to be accepted by the main stream. You wouldn't feel the same way if you don't get there and if you are not ambitious.
I am 2nd generation Chinese American, but I have reasonable Chinese skills. This guy is completely correct.
我是二代华裔美国人，但我中文还算可以。这个人是完全正确的。
1st generation Chinese immigrants simply don't know how race dynamic and discrimination works in USA. You don't know about the relentless assault that white media have against asian males (and also females). 2nd generation and above asian americans are talking about media activism, yet this topic is totally absent from the conversation of 1st generation Chinese immigrant activist community.
If you want us to explain in english, then please let us know how much you can understand. It would be much more convenient for us to speak in English.
Exactly, 大部分不同意我的观点的都想方设法convince 自己来美国是对的，虽然有无数文章（用英语一搜就知道）来说ABC 有很多严重的identity issue, 非常孤独。
实际上，好多来美国的父母都是首先为了自己而来的，不是为了孩子以后的前途。
你需要我用很复杂的英语向你解释吗？我主要是怕你看不太懂，但是如果你觉得英语比较高大上的话我用英语没问题，毕竟是我的母语
有太多事情你没有经历过啦。
You think just because you spoke with a few ABCs that means you understand the entire American experience? You think America is truly a great melting pot just because that's what they tell you in the pamphlets?
Like I said, don't be so naive. You may understand China and have seen the negative aspects of China, but you do NOT understand the truth about America. Sure, some ABCs don't have much ambition and don't mind just living a normal life in the USA, but what if you went to an excellent university and have some inkling to go out and try to take risks, to build your own business? I think you will find that for ABCs who think like this, they will be the first to tell you that the glass ceiling in America against Asians is pretty damn real.
Don't believe me, go an English search on Google. That's your problem. You parents never want to do any reading in English. You come to America, you literally avoid reading any articles in English, and you come back and tell me with a straight face that you understand this country and know what is good for your children? Don't be a liar. You're real reason for coming here is primarily for yourself, your kids are just the side-product of your selfish decision.
你虽然在美国长大，但是完全没有得到美国文化的优点，怀有一颗感恩的正向思维的心。更没有中国文化中感恩父母的传统思想。只能说有的人不管怎么样都会抱怨父母，父母来不来美国都一样。
Give me a goddamn break, you think just b/c I can't use my first language that it's not a weapon in my arsenal? Just because I am courteous enough to write an article in Chinese so that most people (who happen to be parents of Chinese-born Americans), will understand. But since you want me to write in English, sure no problem. Let's hope you understand at least half of what I want to say :)
Yeah, yeah keep talking. Everything you are saying is strictly from your own perspective. Ok? Sure, parents aren't living for their kids, but that doesn't mean parents don't play a role in determining your child's destiny. There's a reason children live with their parents until 18 years old - it's because parents make major decisions for their children that are quite often, irreversible.
If as parents, you leave your children in China, there is nothing wrong with that. You leave them in their home country because your son/daughter is Chinese. They are where they are supposed to be. God made them Chinese. But it is your conscious choice to come to America, to bring your kids, who have NOT yet fully acquired their native Mandarin language, to a place (Western Society) that in reality doesn't respect Chinese people, and probably never will. That is your responsiblity to make sure that such a choice is conducive for your children's future!
Case in point - if I bring my future children to Africa, where they are surrounded by black indigenous people, and they grow up not being able to fit in, are you realistically telling me with a straight face that as parents I have zero responsibility in this? This logic is absurd and extremely irresponsible! If as parents, you conciously bring your children out of their natural culture into another foreign country, and they grow up only to find they don't fit in, then are you seriously telling me as parents you have zero responsibility in all of this? Give me a joke!
I have said enough about my point and I rest my case, peacefully :)
Thank you for your generous commentary. I feel extremely honored that everyone believes that I am some type of sham, not a real ABC. But actually, I am, and English is indeed my native language. If you don't believe me, ask your ABC sons and daughters to read what I am typing and see if they can sense if I am foreign?
Unlike you, I ain't fresh off the boat. LOL
“语法没什么错，而且过于注重语法，一般ABC们和美国人不太这么讲究，而断句标点有点奇怪，有点别扭的感觉”
人得出的结论是“很大可能是大于17，8岁的小留”
这个想法本身就是很中国的。我现在认为是不对的。就像飞机上出事要先把自己照顾好，在管小孩一个道理。
Seriously, that's why you Chinese parents don't understand anything. If you don't believe that I am truly ABC (which I can honestly tell you from the bottom of my heart that I am), then have your sons and daughters come and inspect what I've written to see if they can sense whether or not I'm native.
I am a fucken ABC that grew up in the East Coast since I was 7! Just accept it people! I am well-versed in USA culture and I know everything about Western culture, movies, you name it!
Give me a fucken break.
I am living proof that ABCs can learn Chinese very well if you have enough motivation. What gives me that motivation? Because as an ABC here in America, if you have any inkling of ambition, you will realize that ABCs have zero fucken advantange in business (including investing, hedge funds, private equity, etc...) or law (law firms, cross-border M&A, etc...) or politics (don't get me started on this).
I'm telling the truth. If you are too weak to understand what I am trying to say, then that's too bad so sad. But I believe there will be some Chinese parents who will understand my key message, which is to inform them not that they can't bring their children to the United States, but that doing so blindly will have repurcussions that are invisible but nevertheless harmful in the long term, especially if they have sons who have plenty of ambition (and who worked their ass off to be admitted to a top university).
你们中国父母真搞笑，如果你不相信我是ABC 你问问你们的ABC子女来验证一下。
Your english is probably pretty crappy, but unfortunately I don't suffer from the same limitations as you do. Cry me a river :) :)
You guys don't understand American culture at all. Americans will never treat us Chinese as true Americans, regardless of how you identify yourself. America was founded by white, rich pilgrims coming from Britain on the Mayflower - white people always wanted this country to be designed truly for the white people, not for any and all immigrants of all shapes and sizes. You think just because you study hard and have a USA passport, that the core USA circle of leaders, financiers, and politicians will treat us as true Americans? Forget about it. Donald Trump's successful ascension to the presidency has demonstrated that Americans are worried about immigrants taking up a greater and greater percentage of the USA population and hence that's why where is so much racial uprising against minorities.
The sooner you understand the truth the easier it will be for you to accept. Don't throw your sons and daughters into the fake American "melting pot" when it was never intended to be such a cosmopolitian nation to begin with. Let them learn Chinese, let them learn China's history, so that when they are older they will have the freedom to make the decision themselves about whether or not they want to come here or stay in China.
继续看呀，我写了很多新帖子。
切的人无话可说。很多人完全低估了华裔男孩在这里成长所遭受的压力和歧视，我们也很有体会，孩子是医学院学生，一路走来付出的努力要比其同学包括很多亚裔女孩多得多，但是我们从来都是支持加鼓励，他也深深明白他要比别人做出更多努力才能达到同样的高度，我们信奉既来之则安之，尽自己最大努力来争取更好的未来。
Why the hell would I pretend to be ABC? You think I have nothing better to do on a Monday night (Martin Luther King holiday just happens). LOL you Chinese parents are so lost in your own little imaginary world you have no idea what reality is like. I'm going to continue studying Chinese. Peace!
Parents of this forum, please just ask your ABC sons and daughters to read what I'm painstakenly written and ask them if I'm an authentic ABC or not! It's very easy. Just ask them.
I am perfectly capable of expressing myself in English and Chinese with immensely beautiful prose and impeccable logic. HAHA. Just kidding.
Anyways, thanks for participating, have a great evening, and please get some rest!
PS: I will return soon with a sequel to my first article. Stay tuned ....
Cheers,
Armor USA
孩子身上，感受也不同。你说的问题在藤校ABC中很普遍，但也应该承认，不是每个遇到这种问题的ABC都和你一样的痛苦，想不开。的确对于那些敏感且很好强的孩子，要和美国真正的上层社会打交道，也许真的是很痛苦的事。
You might be surprised.
I am living proof that it is possible to achieve simultaneous mastery of both English and Chinese!
Happy MLK day!
Cheers.
我英语说够了吗？怎么突然就没人回我了？英语跟不上？ :) :)
Just kidding, LOL
I fully concur, and sympathize, with your son's medical school experience.
I wish him well and hope that if he has extra time, perhaps he could consider study some Chinese as a past-time.
孩子中文也相当好，交流没问题，不过写作要向你学习，继续努力吧。
一是你是CBC不是ABC，当中那个B的意思你应该懂的。
第二你写英语的时候说英语是你的native language，写中文的时候又中文是母语了。这个在很多人眼里相当confusing。当然俺要求不高，不觉得什么，可其他人会觉得可疑也可以理解。因为骗子太多，都怕了。
这里写中文的人很多样哈。普遍有混血孩子对ABC有优越感，ABC对CBC有优越感，CBC在美国的对没在美国的有优越感，或者反之。呵呵，总之相当复杂的人之常情呃。你也不要一竿子的you chinese parents不敬了。
最后哦，不要拿哈弗啊，在投行工作过啊来支撑你的论点。即使没有这些，你说的问题依然是问题不是？否则这跟骗子们手法很像，有反效果。：）
他也对我讲了他的想法。他认为他不可能改变整个社会，因为他在网上也经常可以看到人们在谈到他们遇到的歧视/天花板问题，可能是因为黑人/西班牙裔/亚裔，就算是白种人，也有人抱怨因为自己是波兰人/意大利，或者其他种族而被歧视的例子。他说，你没有办法改变整个社会的看法，但你可以试着去改变你身边你遇到的每一个人。当然他还只有中学毕业，没有过职场经验，更没有体验过我们成年人体会过的职业天花板问题，但我很高兴他能用比较积极的态度来看问题。他也是一个有些野心的男孩子，为了避免我们看到的一些亚裔身上的身份认同困境，我们在他小时候专门送他回中国读过几个月的小学，所以他现在只要有机会一定会讲中文，虽然是西式中文，而且他一直对他的华裔背景感到骄傲。谢谢你的分享！希望多交流。
your vocabulary is limited, just like the English we learned from China, Kids grew up here usually use some words that we didn't learn.
都长这么大啦？严格说你还真不是‘ABC'，只不过是小时候被父母带出来的; many people visit this website are in similar age range of your parents, or yours. Too young too simple.
of US education, and for whatever reason it's lost on you. If going to China will make you feel superior, go for it. FWIW it's a very Chinese value to be 'superior' to most people, because that's how to get respect in a class society like China.
说的是爱尔兰第一代移民的事。很多时候，我们以为白人都是一样的。其实，他们分的也非常清楚。关键还是对自己的背景的正确认识和一个好的朋友圈。
he gets anything what you said. He just wants to let everybody know:" hey, I am here (刷存在感）" By the way, I don't like His id. It is wired.
还要怎么有出息呢？
the woman you are responding to is the type who always ask you to "go back to china" whenever you expresse your favor to china. She is very pround of her being in AMERICA, LOL
observations and his feeling. You may be right someway, but we have to admit the fact that he said is true, especially when you are smart, you work hard, and you have achieved to the level that is supposed to be admaired and pround of by every parent. But you feel you are actually hard to be accepted by the main stream. You wouldn't feel the same way if you don't get there and if you are not ambitious.
在国内总有人问我是不是他们（更多时间是她们
）应该送孩子来美国，我总是对他们说，没有必要，如果真要去，也是等上完大学让他们自己选择。
its you, yourself?
不要凶巴巴的，人家不是你儿子。
没事干的家庭妇女，对别人居高临下以刷自己的存在感而已。
I am 2nd generation Chinese American, but I have reasonable Chinese skills. This guy is completely correct.
我是二代华裔美国人，但我中文还算可以。这个人是完全正确的。
1st generation Chinese immigrants simply don't know how race dynamic and discrimination works in USA. You don't know about the relentless assault that white media have against asian males (and also females). 2nd generation and above asian americans are talking about media activism, yet this topic is totally absent from the conversation of 1st generation Chinese immigrant activist community.
一代华人移民不懂得种族和歧视在美国。不懂得白人媒体不停的攻击亚裔男人（也有女人）。二代以上亚裔美国人总在说媒体行动主义，但是这个话题根本不在一代华人移民行动主义群体中，不重视。
So many post on there talking about this issue. That's where his main posts are probably. So many Asian americans talking about this issue.
替你爸妈骂你几句，看把你骂得醒不。你爸妈上辈子欠你的，只能这样想好受点。我要是你父母，早发现你这种心态，早跟你断绝往来了。
If you want us to explain in english, then please let us know how much you can understand. It would be much more convenient for us to speak in English.
来美国移民，但不懂美国的代价。你的子女不是你的子女，说话思维是别人的孩子，基本像给别人养孩子一样
他是出自于无奈，因为眼前很明确的事，但一代家长不懂还反击自己无用。我有同感
谢谢你！谢谢你！
根本没有进入美国社会，不管他们如何自诩自己是美国人。所以很多问题他们看不到或看不懂。
怀疑一切太多了吧？
我看到主流两个字的时候，这是一个大陆乡下来的傻逼，不要说绿卡，连美国是不是来过都很难说。
3岁看小，7岁看老。正常人，不要说哈佛了，就是社区大学的人都不会这么思考这么说话。跟贴的这些书呆子们，太善良了，连这种货也理睬。
华裔男孩ABC在这里真正体现了资本主义的优越性，聪明的，帅气的，都可以得到最大的自由的发展空间。
by an over privileged white woman
美国是个白男权力世界 外族女人当然比外族男人受欢迎 容易融入
Tiger mom breeds unhealthy children. Nobody want to live on that BS path that you set out for us. Especially not males.
1）你女儿是女孩子。作者思考的对象主要是华人男性。
2）我知道两个高中是校学生会主席的美国长大的华人男孩子，性格开朗活跃（在白区长大的，还不是加州）。考到哈佛后，朋友圈虽然各族裔有，但主要玩的都是亚裔圈。小学，初中，高中，还好，但这个现象越大越明显，大学2，3年后，一些华人男孩子开始有自己的想法，尤其工作之后更会思考这个问题。虽然个人的能力/态度/水平有高低，处理问题和文中作者不一样，但这个想象确实存在。
尤其对男孩， 不是说成绩好英文好就是优秀了， 内在的意志品德更重要。你还小比较在乎（ＡＢＣ）长相，等成熟些你会明白那跟成功优秀没太多干系。 不要将过程看得太重，用两倍努力只要能够达到目的也是成就。
华裔的最大威胁不是别族歧视，而是自身的自私胆小慎为没有创劲，这些大家都有所感知却几乎不改的痼疾才是问题。这方面的感悟提高需要过程， 希望５０／１００年中随着母国国力和文化增强海外华裔能逐渐克服这些弱点。
这个时代已经前所未有的全球化了。open your mind. 嘲笑，讥讽，不认可哪儿都有，，这个世界本来就是不完美的。祝你好运
作为移民第一代我也深深感受到来自主流族裔深深的恶意。白人黑人拉丁裔这些人是靠着简单多数的人口对占少数的亚裔人口进行压迫的。这就跟中国农村外姓人被欺压的道理一样。 不在乎哪个外姓人有多优秀，而在乎人口数量。欺压少数群体是人类的天性，在低素质人口中更明显。能够解决这个问题的方法有多个
1.让其他占大多数人口的素质和觉悟高到能够自我检讨（我认为不可能）
2. 成为它们的一部分，类似于中国古代民族大融合，或者犹太人躲在白人中间。
3. 大量幅度增加自己人口数量。这是唯一可行的，也是黑人和加州拉丁裔能够有目前如此地位的原因。
其实历史上还有另外一种方法：
就是雅利安人征服印度，以暴力强力的力量征服该地，这种可能性只有等亚洲人足够强大，能够征服美洲等时候才会出现。不过那个时候还有谁会想到美国来？