Tanka practice: The solar eclipse

妖妖灵
楼主 (文学城)

The sun keeps working (5 syllables)

on a tear for eighteen months (7)

He takes the day off (5)

to propose to his true love(7)

with a golden diamond ring (7)

(Pic from Internet)

 

Tanka这种形式,

又有数字,又有诗意,很好玩!

欢迎大家接着来玩!

 

盈盈一笑间
Nice try! This poem needs to be read out to count syllibles.

盈盈一笑间
It's also very imaginative.
妖妖灵
盈盈是音节专家!:)on a tear是idiom,having great success over a period
妖妖灵
of time.也不知道这么用对吗?
暖冬cool夏
Very imaginative! With a diamond ring to propose! Love it!
妖妖灵
谢谢暖冬MM鼓励!我又看了昨天Tanka诗的例子,发现要用复合句,然后那几个画面联系起来就写成了:)propose后面
妖妖灵
应该有to,我为了凑音节,就把lifelong改成true了:)
妖妖灵
你也来练练吧!我发现写的过程是真正把知识变成自己的过程,写出来很开心:)
暖冬cool夏
写诗太难了,需要灵感:)先多读你们的,谢谢妖mm!