Baby, are you ready Let's climb the mountains, While you stand by me. Baby, are you ready Let's touch the waves Let's go to see the sea Baby, I miss your smile Like whispering wind, you sent to me.
Baby, as we promised Don't be sad, don't hold your tears I know I am a fool But I know you are my world If you bled I bleed the same If you're scared I am on my way.
Baby, are you ready Let's walk in the clouds, Touching the dream Baby, are you ready Let me hold your hands Say I love you
先大大地点个赞! 然后再“挑刺”。“挑刺”比原创容易多了,so here are 老汉's 2 cents:
老汉献丑出几个建议,供参考:
climb the mountains while you stand by me --- climb 给人以动感,stand 是静止不动,似乎有点儿矛盾。所以后半句或许可以改为 with you right beside me? 或节拍允许的话,side by side, you and me Touch the waves 似乎略微平淡了一些。Feel 或 hit 是否会更好一些?看具体想表现什么:feel 重在感受、情感,不过 hit the waves 更重在 adventure,似乎更能与 climb 对应。 See the seas 是否有点儿重音?既然上面已经要 climb the mountains, 接下来 travel the seas 可能动感更强、更有情人间“随我来吧,我们去看世界”的意思?
把人家的英文诗改得面目全非:)
Baby, are you ready
Let's climb the mountains,
While you stand by me.
Baby, are you ready
Let's touch the waves
Let's go to see the sea
Baby, I miss your smile
Like whispering wind, you sent to me.
Baby, as we promised
Don't be sad, don't hold your tears
I know I am a fool
But I know you are my world
If you bled
I bleed the same
If you're scared
I am on my way.
Baby, are you ready
Let's walk in the clouds,
Touching the dream
Baby, are you ready
Let me hold your hands
Say I love you
LinMu,不是Liumu,哈哈:)
老汉献丑出几个建议,供参考:
climb the mountains while you stand by me --- climb 给人以动感,stand 是静止不动,似乎有点儿矛盾。所以后半句或许可以改为 with you right beside me? 或节拍允许的话,side by side, you and me Touch the waves 似乎略微平淡了一些。Feel 或 hit 是否会更好一些?看具体想表现什么:feel 重在感受、情感,不过 hit the waves 更重在 adventure,似乎更能与 climb 对应。 See the seas 是否有点儿重音?既然上面已经要 climb the mountains, 接下来 travel the seas 可能动感更强、更有情人间“随我来吧,我们去看世界”的意思?想到这几个,先写这么多吧。