英译习作:罗伯特·潘·沃伦《变迁世界里的鸟类》

忒忒绿
楼主 (文学城)

Ornithology in a World of Flux.
《变迁世界里的鸟类》

By Robert Penn Warren
作者:罗伯特·潘·沃伦

Translated by Tweeting Green (忒绿)


It was only a bird call at evening, unidentified,
那只是傍晚的一声鸣叫,听不出是来自什么鸟,

As I came from the spring with water, across the rocky back-pasture;
我正取泉水回来,穿过满是石头的后院草甸;

But so still I stood sky above was not stiller than sky in pail-water.
我却是稳稳地站着以至于水桶里的天与头上的天一样平静。

Years pass, all places and faces fade, some people have died,
多年后,那些地方和面孔都从记忆中退去,一些人已身亡魂消,

And I stand in a far land, the evening still, and am at last sure
而我伫立在远方,夜色沉静,终于洞见

That I miss more that stillness at bird-call than some things that were to fail later.
比起那些慢慢消散的事物那份鸟鸣时的宁静多么地让我魂牵梦萦。

 

 

 


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英译习作:罗伯特·潘·沃伦《变迁世界里的鸟类》 《有一天·外一首》 【E外桃源】不为修来生,只为途中与你相见 《诗和它的使用说明》 《聊斋》
青松站
Tweeting Green:))
轻轻的我来
翻译的很好, 很贴合原诗的意境.
b
beautifulwind
翻译得真棒!尤其蓝天那句。我开始习惯性地觉得中英文诗也都是你写的,还在努力找语法毛病:)

比如,那个Year pass,我就没明白,他怎么不用Year passed? 而且不用Years pass?

忒忒绿
Green Pine is for you, okay?;))
忒忒绿
谢谢来来,一会去读你的大作
忒忒绿
哈哈,谢凤儿!习惯成自然了,我也是。第一段是过去,第二段是现在。
青松站
pals handshake-honoured-:))..
盈盈一笑间
好译!这首我还蛮喜欢的。
忒忒绿
后一节是不是有贺知章回乡偶书·其二 的味道,

离别家乡岁月多,近来人事半消磨。惟有门前镜湖水,春风不改旧时波。
忒忒绿
谢盈盈!
w
woodwishper
又是老罗伯特·潘·沃伦 ?? 译的不出所料的好!
忒忒绿
小木,甭光忙着当地主哈:)

别让凤和我们老想你

忒忒绿
作者背景信息:

Robert Penn Warren (April 24, 1905 – September 15, 1989) was an American poet, novelist, and literary critic and was one of the founders of New Criticism. He was also a charter member of the Fellowship of Southern Writers. He founded the literary journal The Southern Review with Cleanth Brooks in 1935. He received the 1947 Pulitzer Prize for the Novel for All the King's Men (1946) and the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1958 and 1979. He is the only person to have won Pulitzer Prizes for both fiction and poetry. (From Wikipedia)

这首诗作于他五十多岁的时候。

b
beautifulwind
果然像,又是Great minds think alike!:)
d
danren
这不是每天晨练的时候耳畔传来的鸟鸣?晨曦微熹之时在云手之间。

树的花花世界
原作者要是懂中文, 一定会同意你的版本更有韵味
忒忒绿
晨曦、鸟鸣、太极拳,多么和谐的画面
忒忒绿
花花好!诗人当时也应该是怀着一种强烈的情感

一前一后,都是在傍晚,都是站立着,一个是鸟鸣、泉水、家乡,一个却是离别家乡岁月多、近来人事半消磨…

诗人以那一声远去的鸟鸣,倾诉内心的不可名状的nostalgia。

忒忒绿
自己看出来了,要赞;)
树的花花世界
我咋觉得你的体会更深刻呢
忒忒绿
Hi Mr. LY Jiang, I saw the thumbs up, but where’s

your comments? How will you translate the title of the poem? I appreciate it. 

b
beautifulwind
丹丹来参加活动吧,这次是金球奖和奥斯卡水平:)
d
danren
谢谢美风!我准备嘎纳红毯。
b
beautifulwind
那这次是戛纳级别!:)
L
LYJiang
A man's house is his castle ...

and you are asking a guest of yours to re-arrange your home furniture. I would think twice before I chime in, and I did think twice and I am chiming in.

Personally, I care less about the title than the content. The title may be the head(line), but the content is where we are supposed to find the poet's heart, and his heart matters most. Let the head take care of science. The heart always owns poetry and therefore also the poet's voice.

The poet's voice that I heard was all about this: Eureka!

Suddenly, the poet stumbled upon something when he caught a bird call, which let his imagination fly, no pun intended. There he was, realizing that all the flux he bothered so much about was wholly and solely his own making. The bird call was a wake-up call, period. No wonder he fixed on the sky which came across as what stillness looked like and felt like. 

Eureka! It's the Archimedes moment.  It's a science moment, of course.

Here we are. Thanks to the poet, we found a moment of science and poetry coming together, which was a union (or reunion) of heart and mind (head). Still wonder why ornithology is part and parcel of the title?

My "comment" is worth two cents, I know.

 

 

 

忒忒绿
Lingyang, I appreciate your elaborate explanations. They added a

Lingyang,

I appreciate your elaborate explanations. They added so much to understanding of the poem. It is really a discovery about the poem that you pointed out “eureka and wake-up call”, which hit the mark and was dead on the target, birds and their therapeutical functions to human being. Your comment means and is worth a lot. My heartfelt thanks to you. I honor you sincerely. 

L
LYJiang
The pleasure was all mine.
甜虫虫
Good work! This poem reminds me

of Edgar Allan Poe's long poem <The Raven>. You might like that one too. 

b
beautifulwind
恭喜忒绿。首页进来,谢谢网管,英译习作:罗伯特·潘·沃伦《变迁世界里的鸟类》挂首成功:)
忒忒绿
谢小主。把名额留给E-外桃源帖。
忒忒绿
虫虫好!都是鸟。那个乌鸦长诗好长就是个神话故事