译注： 1、这是一首维拉内尔(villanelle)，格律甚严：五个三行诗节加一个四行诗节，五步抑扬格，韵式为aba aba aba aba aba abaa，第一个诗节的一三两行作为叠句在后面的诗节末行轮流重复，并在四行诗节中共同收尾。依体作诗甚难如意，而托马斯此作堪称典范。 2、恩师巫宁坤之译品，颇得原诗精髓及力道；我谨以此译，整理音韵，步其后尘，致敬吾师。 原载:《爱思想》、《學人Scholar》，点击可阅英文原文。
原文：
Do not go gentle into that good night
by Dylan Thomas
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
巫宁坤译本 不要温和地走进那良夜， 老年应当在日暮时燃烧咆哮； 怒斥，怒斥光明的消逝。 虽然智慧的人临终时懂得黑暗有理， 因为他们的话没有迸发出闪电，他们 也并不温和地走进那个良夜。 善良的人，当最后一浪过去，高呼他们脆弱的善行 可能曾会多么光辉地在绿色的海湾里舞蹈， 怒斥，怒斥光明的消逝。 狂暴的人抓住并歌唱过翱翔的太阳， 懂得，但为时太晚，他们使太阳在途中悲伤， 也并不温和地走进那个良夜。 严肃的人，接近死亡，用炫目的视觉看出 失明的眼睛可以像流星一样闪耀欢欣， 怒斥，怒斥光明的消逝。 您啊，我的父亲．在那悲哀的高处． 现在用您的热泪诅咒我，祝福我吧．我求您 不要温和地走进那个良夜。 怒斥，怒斥光明的消逝。 Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
“（Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night ）是狄兰·托马斯创作于20世纪中期的诗歌，这是迪兰·托马斯写给他父亲的一首诗。当时，他的父亲生命垂危，已经放弃了活下去的期望，准备安安静静地离开这个世界。迪兰·托马斯和父亲的感情很深，他走上文学这条道路就和自己曾作为英国文学教师的父亲有直接关系。诗人希望自己的这首诗可以唤起父亲战胜死神的斗志，不放弃任何活下去的希望。”
众多经典英文诗歌，早有前辈筚路蓝缕，译介海内。时人译家亦众，各有千秋。然诗无达诂，自无达译。我因读诗，时觉理解略现不同，偶欲献上所感；又常见原作格律甚整，实为其诗不可或缺之品性要素，略望探寻如何以中文再现其妙。遂边玩边译，后又不断修改，终得本文所列之版本。然英文与中文差别甚巨，诗的格律更难相匹，确乃实情。故译文虽以中诗韵律节奏为基本，却无固定的对应格式，也未受严格的音韵限制；惟尽己所能，持守原诗意味，并体现其音韵节奏之感。未敢妄言兼顾，但求二者相衡。不揣浅陋，于此奉上，以求教于同好。
不要驯然遁入那个长夜
诗/狄伦·托马斯 译/陶志健
不要驯然遁入那个长夜，
老年临暮理当燃烧咆哮；
怒斥，怒斥光明竟将熄灭。
智者临终固知黑暗难却，
但因话语未作雷电闪耀，
不会驯然遁入那个长夜。
善者尾波已尽自叹己业，
本可绿色湾中闪亮一跳，
怒斥，怒斥光明竟将熄灭。
浪者及时欢唱太阳飞跃，
辜负光阴太晚方才悟晓，
不甘驯然遁入那个长夜。
肃穆者临终凭眩灭视觉，
得见盲眼欣如流星闪耀，
怒斥，怒斥光明竟将熄灭。
而父亲您立高处空悲切，
求您挥泪骂我为我祈祷。
不要驯然遁入那个长夜。
怒斥，怒斥光明竟将熄灭。
译注：
1、这是一首维拉内尔(villanelle)，格律甚严：五个三行诗节加一个四行诗节，五步抑扬格，韵式为aba aba aba aba aba abaa，第一个诗节的一三两行作为叠句在后面的诗节末行轮流重复，并在四行诗节中共同收尾。依体作诗甚难如意，而托马斯此作堪称典范。
2、恩师巫宁坤之译品，颇得原诗精髓及力道；我谨以此译，整理音韵，步其后尘，致敬吾师。
原载:《爱思想》、《學人Scholar》，点击可阅英文原文。
原文：
Do not go gentle into that good night
by Dylan Thomas
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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英诗中译：紫杜鹃 ——答问花自何方来 R.W.爱默生 英诗中译：不要驯然遁入那个长夜 /狄伦·托马斯 中诗英译：鸟鸣涧 唐代：王维 中诗英译：九月九日忆山东兄弟 唐代：王维 一觉醒来，群贤毕至，佳译纷繁。不才也做一点贡献：我会去你的博客读一读原文。
巫宁坤译本 不要温和地走进那良夜， 老年应当在日暮时燃烧咆哮； 怒斥，怒斥光明的消逝。 虽然智慧的人临终时懂得黑暗有理， 因为他们的话没有迸发出闪电，他们 也并不温和地走进那个良夜。 善良的人，当最后一浪过去，高呼他们脆弱的善行 可能曾会多么光辉地在绿色的海湾里舞蹈， 怒斥，怒斥光明的消逝。 狂暴的人抓住并歌唱过翱翔的太阳， 懂得，但为时太晚，他们使太阳在途中悲伤， 也并不温和地走进那个良夜。 严肃的人，接近死亡，用炫目的视觉看出 失明的眼睛可以像流星一样闪耀欢欣， 怒斥，怒斥光明的消逝。 您啊，我的父亲．在那悲哀的高处． 现在用您的热泪诅咒我，祝福我吧．我求您 不要温和地走进那个良夜。 怒斥，怒斥光明的消逝。 Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
勿以夜静便安然待之
感觉原诗作者有很强烈的情绪在诗里，是在提醒，忠告，甚至是警告人们要时刻警惕暗夜的来临，虽然看着很平静（good night), 不知理解是否正确。
在此可以读到：https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/GnO_Yh60WRwfaHoShUtIJw
另："I prey" 在原文事在句号之前，属于前一句；不知为何老师在译文中把它放到了句号后面，似乎引出下一句。我的译文加重了格式（韵和格），如引文所注；但是到底用何种文体译这首诗，或者泛而言之，是否应更重视原文格式（格律）的表现，确实是译诗的一大课题。
多谢反馈！
“（Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night ）是狄兰·托马斯创作于20世纪中期的诗歌，这是迪兰·托马斯写给他父亲的一首诗。当时，他的父亲生命垂危，已经放弃了活下去的期望，准备安安静静地离开这个世界。迪兰·托马斯和父亲的感情很深，他走上文学这条道路就和自己曾作为英国文学教师的父亲有直接关系。诗人希望自己的这首诗可以唤起父亲战胜死神的斗志，不放弃任何活下去的希望。”
似乎已有固定联想？另，“good”的词义可能较虚。忒兄如何看？
这是一首可以上教科书的格律英文诗歌，对仗工整严谨。
对rage的翻译值得商榷。rage against字面意思是怒斥，但译文中用怒斥稍显突兀和强烈，一个不好看的意像，损伤了诗歌的整体意境的美，尽管它表达的是死亡和作者对死亡的反应。至于翻译成什么更好，还没有想出来。用这个词，作者到底想表达什么？是怒不可遏吗？或者仅仅是怒不可遏吗？为什么要诅咒该死的死亡？所以，这个词的翻译是关键中之关键
是不是用“诅咒”比较好，文雅而不失强烈地表达了勃然大怒和极其憎恶的心情，就是“草它八辈祖宗”的意思：
不要驯然遁入那个长夜
诅咒，我诅咒光明行将熄灭
此个人拙见已。
楼主的翻译比较忠实于原作，文字爆发力强！巫宁坤教授的译作更符合国人的感情表达方式，感情隐忍文字隽永。一个当时的“英语世界”的读者永远怀念巫宁坤教授！