The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is originally a book designed to help — you guessed it! — people act more effectively. It applies as much to a work environment as it does to personal life and this is really a book worth reading. It constitues a nice push to gain more control over your life and toward what you want. (I used to be a mess trying to get things done before reading this book! Now, I usually finish anything I start.) What I would like to do here is review those seven habits and see how YOU can use them to learn English more effectively.
Habit 1 — Be Proactive!
Being proactive means acting based on what you want and not merely on what happens to you. It means seeing that you can always do something about what you desire and that you always have a way to maneuver about what happens to you.
Applied to learning English, it means wondering what YOU can do, right now, to make things better. It also means not letting any limiting belief or negativity block your way. For example, is there something you really hate about the language but you know you need? Maybe something about grammar? For example, maybe you do no understand the difference between present perfect and past perfect and you hate working on it because, every time, you have tried to, it did not help. Then be open about it and see that, even though you hate having to do that right now, you can find a way to make it work.
Maybe it is something less theoretical. Maybe you need to form a new habit, for example, to chat with people in English more often. See that even if you may have a hard time finding native speakers or finding the time for it, there is always something you can do. You can move to another country or even just travel to a bigger city in your own country! Or you can chat over the Internet (it is only a couple of clicks away, right?).
There is always something you can do to improve your English, starting right now. You have options. Proactivity is all about realizing that and acting on it. Habit 2 — Begin with the End in Mind
Why are you doing this in the long-term? I mean, this “English learning” thing, why? Is it for school because you have to? Is it for work because you are having a hard time with the language there? Is it to travel or live abroad? But beyond that, beyond those examples… what is it really for?
You should do things for yourself, based on what you believe in, on what your values are. If you do things for others, because you are forced into it (you need good grades at school; you need to understand documents at work; or you are afraid to have a hard time communicating abroad)… Things just won’t be as much fun and you will not benefit from them quite as much.
So find your reason. Create your mission statement and discover your purpose with the English language. The reason has to be your own and be in alignment with what you want out of life. It will give you some perspective, altitude even, on what and where your English might come in handy. For example, if you are learning English because you think it is fun and because you know you want to see the world, live a rich life… then this is very empowering and makes everything else, English at school, at work, everywhere, much easier. It is also a big support when the going gets tough, because, then, you know WHY you are putting in all the effort.
Beginning with the end in mind is also a good way to give some direction to your learning. Instead of merely learning for learning (grammar, rules, lists…), you start noticing how what you learn can help you (you read an article about one of your hobbies in English; you watch a movie you like without dubbing, you start conversations in English with people who share your dreams…) and start practicing even more. Your goal, your mission, acts as a guiding light. Habit 3 — Put First Things First
You have chosen to act, you have a vision of where you want to go. Now, where do you start? Putting first things first is about letting priorities sink into place. You know what you want and act accordingly. It is also about saying no. You cannot do everything at the same time. The preceding two habits will help you decide what is the right thing to do, step by step, and this third habit is about actually doing it.
Applied to learning English, this will mean two things. Knowing what is most important to you and knowing what is most useful to you. For example, if you want to go live in New-York because that is where you see yourself living, but you cannot pronounce or understand spoken English at all (while the rest of your English is okay)… then you would know that phonetics is what you need to study and feel confident doing so. You would review all of the American vowels and consonants. In doing so, you would also feel like you are doing the right thing, which is, as simple as it sounds, always a big relief, whenever we want to get things moving forward, especially when they are part of a bigger project.
If you are clearly open about taking responsibility (habit 1) and have built a vision for yourself (habit 2), then putting first things first will be pretty obvious, as you have a clear idea of what it is you want and can do. Habit 4 — Think Win/Win
Thinking Win/Win means seeing life as a cooperation, rather than a competition. It also means being brave and sensible enough to seek the best outcome for both sides, trying to both be true to your own values and respect others’. To do that requires to believe that there is plenty for everyone, which is called an “abundance mentality” — as opposed to scarcity.
How can we use that to learn English? Well, when meeting people, being able to remain true to yourself while being very open-minded and respectful is obviously an asset. It works as a key to harmonious relationships, which will make socializing easier.
For example, when you go out to meet people who speak English, try to see what you can bring to them, and not just what they can bring to you. At first, of course, you are happy to just practice the language. See, also, what you can bring them in the process, while keeping true to your values. Are you a lot of fun? Do you have interesting things to say? Do you have things in common? Or, on the opposite, do you have a different view on life that can be interesting to share with them?
There is no real confrontation anymore when thinking Win/Win, as your goal becomes for both sides to benefit from the communication. As such, this works as a way to smoothen and enhance relationships. Habit 5 — Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
We all learn to speak but when did we ever learn to listen? Never. Still, how can communication between two persons be clear and efficient when we are too busy trying to think of the reply, questions and comments we are going to make, while “listening” to someone? Based on those observations, the 5th habit encourages us to listen emphatically to the other person, so as to really get and understand her, see what she sees, feel what she feels. By proceeding in such a way, not only is the communication more meaningful and accurate, we also come up, once we speak, with more adequate and meaningful answers.
How does it work with English as a foreign language? Well, first, being able to hear the person properly, not just her words, but her feelings and vision, is very good practice for our language skills. We become able to understand words deeper than the surface, since we start to understand people instead of mere English words. What is more, as we gain a better understanding of people, bridging the gap between ideas (thoughts and feelings) and words become easier. With a true understanding of human nature, our ideas are clearer and more precise, which reflects in our speech. This is a good first step to thinking in English.
The “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” maxim is analogous to a “diagnose before you prescribe” philosophy. In doing so, we avoid much of the loss that generally occurs in communication, we are much more effective and, most importantly, we are finally closer to truly “getting” others. Habit 6 — Synergize
To synergize means to work together creatively and to see that there is more value in doing so than people working on their own; that two heads are better — more creative — than one. It means seeing that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, thanks to the value differences bring one another — different angles, new ideas.
When practicing your English, this means seeing that, beyond language, the other person has something interesting to bring you and that the two of you, together, create a unique combination. Seeking to cooperate creatively is a great way to truly get to learn from the other person and — also! — really have a lot of fun. If the both of you value what is going on, your interaction, and are genuine about it, that’s when the magic begins. It is also a fruit of the 5th habit, which worked as a seed.
For example, picture yourself having a lot of fun with people you meet in English, be it at work, going out or whatever the setting. When you bring something to the other person and the other person brings something to you, something starts to happen. You build and grow on each other. This is what makes meeting new people so interesting. It has an impact on your language skills, as illustrated by the fact that friends often use the same expressions. For your English, as you become more able to understand and even expect people’s words, you also get proof that you really got into the language, which is pretty good for your self-esteem and intimacy with English.
In a few words, synergize, “cooperate creatively”, with others because it’s both fun and enriching. Habit 7 — Sharpen the Saw
Renew yourself. Applied to learning English, it means two things.
First, take some time off once in a while. This is a tricky part as language in general does not really require us to take time off. Language is such a deep part of our nature that it is with us pretty much 24/7 — in our dreams, for example, meanwhile sleep is like the ultimate time off. However, sometimes, we need to give things a rest, so as to be able to come back to them with a fresh mind and renewed enthusiasm. So, quite simply: when you are totally fed up with the language, give it a rest and come back to it a couple of days later. There is an extra trick with languages: if you do not use it, you lose it. (This is even true of our mother tongue.) As such, keep the break to a minimal — no more than a week. Also, see what you are actually growing bored of. Usually, it is studying that is starting to bore you, while practicing is still a lot of fun. So balance the two and keep in mind that the ultimate goal is to practice… not study :-)
Second, look for novelty, try something new! Man is a creature of habits and we need to change those regularly. If you grow a little annoyed with your English, because it seems too repetitive, try different ways to practice. Novelty is one of the greatest pleasures of life and speaking English opens many new doors to you: so go down the yellow brick road and see what is at the end of the rainbow!
We should blame this on our teachers(not those in this forum though, we still need them)
Secondly, find a good book as a guidance star showing us how to distinguish right and wrong, yes and no regarding choosing a good book.
Finally, wipe our eyes--not only in the morning when we do our toileting, but every time when we make up our mind choosing a good book at a book store. If the book we buy is not good, sue the owner of the book store.
You can blame the whole world for the way it is, but it doesn't help your English study. I can start by blaming myself for getting myself born in a small little town in China, instead of Beijing or Shanghai where I could have got a better foundation for pronunciation. I can blame my middle school English teacher for starting my English on the wrong track, teaching me all the grammars and not pronunciation. I can then blame my college teachers for strengthening my bad habits instead of correcting them. I can also blame all my American friends I met in the US for being nice and not pointing out my pronunciation problems. Hell, maybe I can even sue them according to your logic. Haha. But does it help with my current pronunciation? Nope! And there are people that have never been to the US but can speak better English than we do, who do they have to blame? If you read the article carefully, this is actually exactly the kind of Negativity we need to block from us. “Applied to learning English, it means wondering what YOU can do, right now, to make things better. It also means not letting any limiting belief or negativity block your way.” Also, this also shows the importance of “listening”, not jumping into conclusions before you fully understand it. I am not treating this book as a bible or anything, nor am I defending it. But that’s all I want to say.
Right, some books may not be as helpful as other books, or even may mislead some people. However, just as the diversity in books, so as the individuals. As an old saying, one man's meat is another man's poison. Thus, you got to find a book/books or some guides suitable for youself. Then how to find? The most feasible way might be reading a lot of books. In addition, you may find only part of points in one book is suitable for you, while you may still find some useful in another book. No book is perfect, just as no person is perfect. On the other hand, no book is totally garbage. Otherwise, how could it get published and how could you read it? If somebody could write and publish such a book full of misleading information or whatever people hate. If any, he also could learn something helpful to himself after he finished a book as above.
没有生气，我也是有感而发，我那天不是说了吗，我纠音的时候也有怨天尤人的时候，但是昨天看Shark讲他学习经验的时候，I understood that anyone with a good pronunciation has really worked hard on it and has worked with a good method that suits him/her. Some lucky ones started early because they got exposed to it earlier on in their lives and were more sensitive to the nuances of different sounds. We had 小千 here who listened to 赖世雄 and had a friend of her father's to tutor her on her pronunciation back when she was in China. Even with that, she still worked very hard on her pronunciation after she came to Canada. 泡泡 also devoted 3+ years on accent reduction.
I wasn't one of the lucky ones and not gifted with good ears but I am catching up, I think. What I wanted to say is: instead of working on it, if we whine all day on this forum, we are just becoming other people's laughingstock and not getting anything done.
I guess the reason why I want to improve my English and pronouciation skills is I want people to understand me better when I speak this language, and I enjoy listening to my own voice, if this is counted, maybe I sort of being narcissistic, don't you think so? 自恋狂--享受听自己声音和看自己照片属于孤芳自赏吗 :))) To me, the most important habit that I have already created is I have fun learning--the Habit 4 — Think Win/Win. I am a happy person, I am open-minded, happy-go-lucky, and passionate, (I can laugh very hard, when I was younger I could laugh like crazy) and like sharing myj oy, my weird ideas and funny jokes with my friends. I understand that learning English is time-tested and self-paced, and I believe that if I keep doing a little bit every day,being persistent, never skip more than 2 days.I like to learn it slowly like a snail(that is why I titled myself "蜗牛公主"） and enjoy the fun learning English brings me. Probably I am not quite right by saying that I completely have all of the 7 habbits, but having fun is the significant one and I am glad I have it. Thank you principal Wen for sharing!
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is originally a book designed to help — you guessed it! — people act more effectively. It applies as much to a work environment as it does to personal life and this is really a book worth reading. It constitues a nice push to gain more control over your life and toward what you want. (I used to be a mess trying to get things done before reading this book! Now, I usually finish anything I start.) What I would like to do here is review those seven habits and see how YOU can use them to learn English more effectively.
Habit 1 — Be Proactive!
Being proactive means acting based on what you want and not merely on what happens to you. It means seeing that you can always do something about what you desire and that you always have a way to maneuver about what happens to you.
Applied to learning English, it means wondering what YOU can do, right now, to make things better. It also means not letting any limiting belief or negativity block your way. For example, is there something you really hate about the language but you know you need? Maybe something about grammar? For example, maybe you do no understand the difference between present perfect and past perfect and you hate working on it because, every time, you have tried to, it did not help. Then be open about it and see that, even though you hate having to do that right now, you can find a way to make it work.
Maybe it is something less theoretical. Maybe you need to form a new habit, for example, to chat with people in English more often. See that even if you may have a hard time finding native speakers or finding the time for it, there is always something you can do. You can move to another country or even just travel to a bigger city in your own country! Or you can chat over the Internet (it is only a couple of clicks away, right?).
There is always something you can do to improve your English, starting right now. You have options. Proactivity is all about realizing that and acting on it.
Habit 2 — Begin with the End in Mind
Why are you doing this in the long-term? I mean, this “English learning” thing, why? Is it for school because you have to? Is it for work because you are having a hard time with the language there? Is it to travel or live abroad? But beyond that, beyond those examples… what is it really for?
You should do things for yourself, based on what you believe in, on what your values are. If you do things for others, because you are forced into it (you need good grades at school; you need to understand documents at work; or you are afraid to have a hard time communicating abroad)… Things just won’t be as much fun and you will not benefit from them quite as much.
So find your reason. Create your mission statement and discover your purpose with the English language. The reason has to be your own and be in alignment with what you want out of life. It will give you some perspective, altitude even, on what and where your English might come in handy. For example, if you are learning English because you think it is fun and because you know you want to see the world, live a rich life… then this is very empowering and makes everything else, English at school, at work, everywhere, much easier. It is also a big support when the going gets tough, because, then, you know WHY you are putting in all the effort.
Beginning with the end in mind is also a good way to give some direction to your learning. Instead of merely learning for learning (grammar, rules, lists…), you start noticing how what you learn can help you (you read an article about one of your hobbies in English; you watch a movie you like without dubbing, you start conversations in English with people who share your dreams…) and start practicing even more. Your goal, your mission, acts as a guiding light.
Habit 3 — Put First Things First
You have chosen to act, you have a vision of where you want to go. Now, where do you start? Putting first things first is about letting priorities sink into place. You know what you want and act accordingly. It is also about saying no. You cannot do everything at the same time. The preceding two habits will help you decide what is the right thing to do, step by step, and this third habit is about actually doing it.
Applied to learning English, this will mean two things. Knowing what is most important to you and knowing what is most useful to you. For example, if you want to go live in New-York because that is where you see yourself living, but you cannot pronounce or understand spoken English at all (while the rest of your English is okay)… then you would know that phonetics is what you need to study and feel confident doing so. You would review all of the American vowels and consonants. In doing so, you would also feel like you are doing the right thing, which is, as simple as it sounds, always a big relief, whenever we want to get things moving forward, especially when they are part of a bigger project.
If you are clearly open about taking responsibility (habit 1) and have built a vision for yourself (habit 2), then putting first things first will be pretty obvious, as you have a clear idea of what it is you want and can do.
Habit 4 — Think Win/Win
Thinking Win/Win means seeing life as a cooperation, rather than a competition. It also means being brave and sensible enough to seek the best outcome for both sides, trying to both be true to your own values and respect others’. To do that requires to believe that there is plenty for everyone, which is called an “abundance mentality” — as opposed to scarcity.
How can we use that to learn English? Well, when meeting people, being able to remain true to yourself while being very open-minded and respectful is obviously an asset. It works as a key to harmonious relationships, which will make socializing easier.
For example, when you go out to meet people who speak English, try to see what you can bring to them, and not just what they can bring to you. At first, of course, you are happy to just practice the language. See, also, what you can bring them in the process, while keeping true to your values. Are you a lot of fun? Do you have interesting things to say? Do you have things in common? Or, on the opposite, do you have a different view on life that can be interesting to share with them?
There is no real confrontation anymore when thinking Win/Win, as your goal becomes for both sides to benefit from the communication. As such, this works as a way to smoothen and enhance relationships.
Habit 5 — Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
We all learn to speak but when did we ever learn to listen? Never. Still, how can communication between two persons be clear and efficient when we are too busy trying to think of the reply, questions and comments we are going to make, while “listening” to someone? Based on those observations, the 5th habit encourages us to listen emphatically to the other person, so as to really get and understand her, see what she sees, feel what she feels. By proceeding in such a way, not only is the communication more meaningful and accurate, we also come up, once we speak, with more adequate and meaningful answers.
How does it work with English as a foreign language? Well, first, being able to hear the person properly, not just her words, but her feelings and vision, is very good practice for our language skills. We become able to understand words deeper than the surface, since we start to understand people instead of mere English words. What is more, as we gain a better understanding of people, bridging the gap between ideas (thoughts and feelings) and words become easier. With a true understanding of human nature, our ideas are clearer and more precise, which reflects in our speech. This is a good first step to thinking in English.
The “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” maxim is analogous to a “diagnose before you prescribe” philosophy. In doing so, we avoid much of the loss that generally occurs in communication, we are much more effective and, most importantly, we are finally closer to truly “getting” others.
Habit 6 — Synergize
To synergize means to work together creatively and to see that there is more value in doing so than people working on their own; that two heads are better — more creative — than one. It means seeing that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, thanks to the value differences bring one another — different angles, new ideas.
When practicing your English, this means seeing that, beyond language, the other person has something interesting to bring you and that the two of you, together, create a unique combination. Seeking to cooperate creatively is a great way to truly get to learn from the other person and — also! — really have a lot of fun. If the both of you value what is going on, your interaction, and are genuine about it, that’s when the magic begins. It is also a fruit of the 5th habit, which worked as a seed.
For example, picture yourself having a lot of fun with people you meet in English, be it at work, going out or whatever the setting. When you bring something to the other person and the other person brings something to you, something starts to happen. You build and grow on each other. This is what makes meeting new people so interesting. It has an impact on your language skills, as illustrated by the fact that friends often use the same expressions. For your English, as you become more able to understand and even expect people’s words, you also get proof that you really got into the language, which is pretty good for your self-esteem and intimacy with English.
In a few words, synergize, “cooperate creatively”, with others because it’s both fun and enriching.
Habit 7 — Sharpen the Saw
Renew yourself. Applied to learning English, it means two things.
First, take some time off once in a while. This is a tricky part as language in general does not really require us to take time off. Language is such a deep part of our nature that it is with us pretty much 24/7 — in our dreams, for example, meanwhile sleep is like the ultimate time off. However, sometimes, we need to give things a rest, so as to be able to come back to them with a fresh mind and renewed enthusiasm. So, quite simply: when you are totally fed up with the language, give it a rest and come back to it a couple of days later. There is an extra trick with languages: if you do not use it, you lose it. (This is even true of our mother tongue.) As such, keep the break to a minimal — no more than a week. Also, see what you are actually growing bored of. Usually, it is studying that is starting to bore you, while practicing is still a lot of fun. So balance the two and keep in mind that the ultimate goal is to practice… not study :-)
Second, look for novelty, try something new! Man is a creature of habits and we need to change those regularly. If you grow a little annoyed with your English, because it seems too repetitive, try different ways to practice. Novelty is one of the greatest pleasures of life and speaking English opens many new doors to you: so go down the yellow brick road and see what is at the end of the rainbow!
觉得7个习惯是本最害人的书，-- 因为听得懂，做不到！
我现在觉得可怕的是，越来越多地学了些似是而非的东西，这个怎样才能避免呢？
We should blame this on our teachers(not those in this forum though, we still need them)
Secondly, find a good book as a guidance star showing us how to distinguish right and wrong, yes and no regarding choosing a good book.
Finally, wipe our eyes--not only in the morning when we do our toileting, but every time when we make up our mind choosing a good book at a book store. If the book we buy is not good, sue the owner of the book store.
Hope this helps. hahaha..:))
You can blame the whole world for the way it is, but it doesn't help your English study. I can start by blaming myself for getting myself born in a small little town in China, instead of Beijing or Shanghai where I could have got a better foundation for pronunciation. I can blame my middle school English teacher for starting my English on the wrong track, teaching me all the grammars and not pronunciation. I can then blame my college teachers for strengthening my bad habits instead of correcting them. I can also blame all my American friends I met in the US for being nice and not pointing out my pronunciation problems. Hell, maybe I can even sue them according to your logic. Haha. But does it help with my current pronunciation? Nope! And there are people that have never been to the US but can speak better English than we do, who do they have to blame?
If you read the article carefully, this is actually exactly the kind of Negativity we need to block from us. “Applied to learning English, it means wondering what YOU can do, right now, to make things better. It also means not letting any limiting belief or negativity block your way.”
Also, this also shows the importance of “listening”, not jumping into conclusions before you fully understand it. I am not treating this book as a bible or anything, nor am I defending it. But that’s all I want to say.
我对二姐言论有感而发。
Right, some books may not be as helpful as other books, or even may mislead some people. However, just as the diversity in books, so as the individuals. As an old saying, one man's meat is another man's poison. Thus, you got to find a book/books or some guides suitable for youself. Then how to find? The most feasible way might be reading a lot of books. In addition, you may find only part of points in one book is suitable for you, while you may still find some useful in another book. No book is perfect, just as no person is perfect. On the other hand, no book is totally garbage. Otherwise, how could it get published and how could you read it? If somebody could write and publish such a book full of misleading information or whatever people hate. If any, he also could learn something helpful to himself after he finished a book as above.
都是我不好。不好好读书，却跑上来灌水。赶紧下去反省取了~~~
没有生气，我也是有感而发，我那天不是说了吗，我纠音的时候也有怨天尤人的时候，但是昨天看Shark讲他学习经验的时候，I understood that anyone with a good pronunciation has really worked hard on it and has worked with a good method that suits him/her. Some lucky ones started early because they got exposed to it earlier on in their lives and were more sensitive to the nuances of different sounds. We had 小千 here who listened to 赖世雄 and had a friend of her father's to tutor her on her pronunciation back when she was in China. Even with that, she still worked very hard on her pronunciation after she came to Canada. 泡泡 also devoted 3+ years on accent reduction.
I wasn't one of the lucky ones and not gifted with good ears but I am catching up, I think. What I wanted to say is: instead of working on it, if we whine all day on this forum, we are just becoming other people's laughingstock and not getting anything done.
我今天晚上再发录音校长多多指教！
哈哈，比如我老人家。
哈哈，不能再闹下去了，不然校长同学要真不高兴了。
事实上，别人扔掉的垃圾，我经常捡回来再利用。这贴子看着有意思，有值得思考的地方。好吧，我承认，我是作思考状。
I guess the reason why I want to improve my English and pronouciation skills is I want people to understand me better when I speak this language, and I enjoy listening to my own voice, if this is counted, maybe I sort of being narcissistic, don't you think so? 自恋狂--享受听自己声音和看自己照片属于孤芳自赏吗 :))) To me, the most important habit that I have already created is I have fun learning--the Habit 4 — Think Win/Win. I am a happy person, I am open-minded, happy-go-lucky, and passionate, (I can laugh very hard, when I was younger I could laugh like crazy) and like sharing myj oy, my weird ideas and funny jokes with my friends. I understand that learning English is time-tested and self-paced, and I believe that if I keep doing a little bit every day,being persistent, never skip more than 2 days.I like to learn it slowly like a snail(that is why I titled myself "蜗牛公主"） and enjoy the fun learning English brings me. Probably I am not quite right by saying that I completely have all of the 7 habbits, but having fun is the significant one and I am glad I have it. Thank you principal Wen for sharing!
-- 可是我得罪不起文青校长啊，^_~ 快跑！