翻译接力：因为我无法为死亡止步

因为我无法为死亡止步

Because I could not stop for Death

 

狄艾

Emily Dickinson

 

因为我无法为死亡止步——

Because I could not stop for Death –

他体贴地为我停在那里——

He kindly stopped for me –

马车里坐着的只有我俩——

The Carriage held but just Ourselves –

还有不朽的生机。

And Immortality.

 

我们缓慢前进——他不着急

We slowly drove – He knew no haste

而我也已放弃了

And I had put away

我的作息，

My labor and my leisure too,

为了不对他失礼——

For His Civility –

 

我们路过学堂，学童在努力

We passed the School, where Children strove

课间休息——在圆形表演场里——

At Recess – in the Ring –

我们路过田野，那里长满注视着我们的谷粒——

We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –

我们看到太阳从地平线消失——

We passed the Setting Sun –

 

或者——他从我们旁边走过——

Or rather – He passed Us –

凝露激起寒颤——

The Dews drew quivering and Chill –

因为他衣装单薄，只穿着我的丝袍——

For only Gossamer, my Gown –

披着我的薄纱披肩——

My Tippet – only Tulle –

 

我们在一栋房前暂停，那房子看来像

We paused before a House that seemed

一堆发胀的泥土——

A Swelling of the Ground –

屋顶几不可见——

The Roof was scarcely visible –

檐饰已然入土——

The Cornice – in the Ground –

 

从那时——数百年以前——但

Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet

只觉不过一朝一夕

Feels shorter than the Day

我始信，群马的头部

I first surmised the Horses' Heads

都朝向无极——

Were toward Eternity –

 

Kirn, let's work together and do justice to ED's masterpiece and the limitless potentials of both languages.

哈哈，收获姐，这个称呼好。：）我不懂，感觉翻译得很流畅，也雅致。：）

在雅方面，是没有止境的。

先说收获姐~~~我那么老~~~~ grain reaper ~~~那么惨，咋说的我像路得那么惨呢，有吗

收获小姐。kirn收获节。

招呼小王，大王，国王！最好等王来发言。美国王是专家，等他来，他肯定把你这个雅好，因为他是严复的关门弟子

俺对现代文纹饰功力绝对不行。我高考语文差点不及格，文法全都不通

丰收时最后一捧谷~~~或最后镰刀收的捆扎的苗

语文高分的有的不会写

Merriam-Webster

1. the gathering or the time of the harvest

2. the last handful or sheaf reaped at the harvest

你不能二，只能一。

赶紧搬小板凳学习 :-)

收获姐耍赖，帮我们给雅一雅。

啧啧，这么凶。嗯，你必须又达又信的翻译为中文，所以我的id都被你网管了~~~

Collins

1.  a harvest celebration; a feast or party celebrating a successful harvest 2.  the harvesting of the last handful of corn, noting either the end of the harvest season or the winning of a race against other reapers

顶

我从来就是好耍赖耍油条的，而且我从不否认。我做不来的事情，也实话说，做不来~~~

我从来不准备翻译现代文诗歌，违背我的信条

你看你看，第二个意思多么有诗意，活生生就被你翻译成为了路得这个苦主~~~~

你都把英文翻译成了甲骨文，改一改白话就不会了。

你就是收获姐，不要猴心想得到最后一把米。

喔，你说对了，我的另外一个理想就是学习甲骨文和苏美尔文，来用它们写诗，这样谁也看不懂，没谁敢批判~~

哈哈，你俩太逗了

误入歧途！谁给我雅好了，我送谁一张Sylvia Plath故居的照片。

七斓你看，收获姐在我想象中就是这样的，多可怜。古时候收割是男人的活，女生是最后去捡麦粒的，而且必须是公粮不要了以后

冯君我真话和你说，我从来没计划过翻译英诗为现代文诗歌，因为我知道我做不好。翻译一首诗是很累的，要仔仔细细地去做一回作者

这点宝贵时间，我还不如自己泡菜呢

体改委的王兄呢？颤音呢？你们躲到哪里去了。大家晚安！

读译诗是退而求其次的无奈选择，相当于喝速溶咖啡。真的欣赏英语诗得懂英语，喝现磨咖啡。速溶的，再怎么再创作，也比不过现磨。

这就是典型的何不食肉糜了

哈哈，还有图解啊。 “收获”是一种信仰，到时捡都不用你捡，就等着收吧。就这个“姐”字，是应该雅一雅 :-)

赞一个，俺也手痒，翻译过，就不献丑了

这个翻译得真好，佩服

今后再无神仙姐姐，只有收获姐 :-)

好得不得了！

不错，也挺雅的

A nice read. here my $0.02:)

因为我不能停止走向死亡

Because I could not stop for Death –
因为我不能停止走向死亡—

He kindly stopped for me –
他亲切地为我停留——

The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
这辆马车可容纳的只有我们自己——

And Immortality. 
还有永生。

(The first stanza)

 

thanks!

you may want to check out https://www.litcharts.com/poetry/emily-dickinson/because-i-could-not-stop-for-death and https://www.encyclopedia.com/arts/educational-magazines/because-i-could-not-stop-death

there is a subtle difference between "I could not stop for death" and "I could not stop death." ED wrote the former, not the later. The later means I could not stop death from coming, or, I could not stop my approaching death; they mean similar things.

you did a good job thanks for sharing your art:)

a beautiful thing about reading a poem is you can have

 your own construction without having to know what was in the poet's mind, which is often unkowable. Most readers believe He refers to Death；He stop the carriage to pick up the poet. I can sense some logic gap there.

she together w Death passed the schl, fields, graves? no

Only future can head toward the eternity 

in addition, death can't stop for anyone who is alive

that has been the mainstream interpretation. Also mine.

you do not have to change your mind if you are not a student having to take exams.

大家。

过奖！我几次试着译诗，都失败了，感到狗咬刺猬，下不了口。

抱歉这两天比较忙，没有即时回复。小可太高估我了，你和冯兄翻译得很好啊！