A. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:
marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction. failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level. a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people). lack of social or emotional reciprocity.
B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus. apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals. stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements). persistent preoccupation with parts of objects.
C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning
D. There is no clinically significant general delay in language (e.g., single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years).
E. There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behavior (other than social interaction), and curiosity about the environment in childhood.
F. Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder or Schizophrenia.
He certainly has a lot of one, but lacks the other. He is still young, there's plent of time to learn.
Children's version of the Bible, one that fits his reading level.
Founding father's' biography, their writings: Ben Franklin, Thomas Paine, etc.
The Revolutionary War, the French and Indian War, what led up to them, and aftermath.
The Constitution and the Federalist Papers.
Recite all the famous speeches. Recite all the verses of the National anthem. Give a toast.
Ancient Greece, all the gods, philosophers. Ancient Rome, Cicero, Cato.
So much to learn...
Less STEM, more liberal arts topics.
Ask him often: How do you value yourself? When you compete, what value do you bring to the game and the other players. Why are they in the game? When you lose, what is your worth in your own eyes?
His sense of the "self" is the issue. He needs to develop his self-worth that is independent of others.
Teach him about boundaries, where he starts, where he ends, and where others start and end.
今天和学校的心理咨询师谈了。重点在于儿子如何能够接受失败，如何不严格要求别人。准备开始8个星期的训练。咨询师说现在7岁年纪越小越好纠正，到了高年级或者初中就更麻烦了。他说看到过不少初中高中的孩子不能接受失败的例子。年纪大了伤害更严重，比如厌世和自杀。
我提到了网友们的OCPD，强迫症和完美主义者。咨询师笑了，他说他也是OCPD，一直也在努力纠正。我心里打鼓，这本人就是强迫症和完美主义，能帮助到儿子吗？
也谈到了网友说的阿斯伯格（感谢各位出谋划策）。阿斯伯格一般的症状是关注自己的小世界，不关心别人。咨询师说有一小部分阿斯伯格也会严格要求别人， 比如我们经常听到的某人远离社会， 因为“people are stupid”. 就是中国的 “举世皆浊我独清，众人皆醉我独醒”吧。
但是儿子有很多朋友，又不大像阿斯伯格。
谈了之后，我担心咨询师忘了，总结了儿子的特点一封长信发给他备注。
老公看我忙忙碌碌记录，开玩笑说儿子的强迫症和完美主义就是遗传了我。据说相当一部分 STEM PHD 都是阿斯伯格。也许我真的也是阿斯。年轻时候常常得意洋洋，现在年纪越大，越不想和别人交往。
以下是信里面的一部分：
“….. 儿子有很多朋友，痴迷于数字。
我观察到有一些和他哥哥不同的方面：
1. 他自己非常强的纪律性。四岁学钢琴，从来自动练习钢琴，这么枯燥的活动居然从来不需要监督。我老大不催着是绝对不练琴的。
2. 他非常较真。比如，邻里的男孩有一次说“我不和你玩”。六七岁的孩子一般不认真。过两天那个孩子早忘了，又来找他玩。我儿子不和他玩，因为他牢牢记着那句话。甚至几个月后还时不时的提起某人不和他玩。
3. 他不愿意尝试新东西。我经常强迫他尝试。一般尝试后他会挺喜欢的。但是第一次常常要逼迫。
4. 不能失败。即使是个课间很小的游戏。
5. 希望所有人遵守规则。如果有孩子cheat，他会很不高兴。会不停的告状老师。5 和4 是老师建议咨询师的原因。
6. 他注意细节，公园里看到孩子玩耍，他会在一边观察一会，才会加入游戏。有时候观察太久游戏就结束了。我常常要强迫他立刻加入。
7. 他最爱看的youtube包括天文地理，脑筋急转弯，数学之类学术性的。我常常鼓励他看动画片或者movie, 他兴趣不大。也爱看成人的侦探节目，猜测谁是作案者。
………"
看看有没有效果吧!
多谢各位出谋划策！
他很聪明吗？
阿斯伯格
让他自由的成长，不要总是用家长熟悉的框框去judge他。怕输我孩子小时候也有过，去参加chess和soccer后基本就不怕了。因为输多赢少
主要看交流
我们的经验，就是大量的竞技体育竞赛，让娃不能控制自己的输赢，从而接受自然输赢。也接受比赛时的不公平和平时有人不守规矩。再就是娃输了或做错事，要心平气和的和娃一起分析为啥输了错了，以后如何改进。不能改进的，就接受错误接受自己。
他说自己也意识到，希望通过冥想不断进步
释放天性。做一点普通7岁男娃做的事
我家的小时也不玩泥巴，也不看动画片。看的多是天文，科幻，侦探和历史的书，影片和记录片。出门旅游最爱的是各种博物馆而不是游乐园。这些现在长大了看来都不是问题
和心理咨询师谈主要是解决什么问题。
是按照自己的思维进行讨论。
DSM IV CRITERIA FOR ASPERGER'S DISORDER*
A. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:
marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction. failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level. a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people). lack of social or emotional reciprocity.B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus. apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals. stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements). persistent preoccupation with parts of objects.C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning
D. There is no clinically significant general delay in language (e.g., single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years).
E. There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behavior (other than social interaction), and curiosity about the environment in childhood.
F. Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder or Schizophrenia.
说你啥呢，
self centered不是center 他个人， 而是交流时候按照他的思维交流。 其实智商高的都有这个特点。 你也很这样子的。 也许你测一下智商， 说不定很高。
大心脏是慢慢培养的，Federer小时候输球也砸拍子lol
AS当然是高智商。
内向自推娃都这样
长大了都不是事儿
是不是Asperger，无所谓。Asperger的人智商比较超常。
特别高智商的人，鲜有没有一点问题的。
也有些完美主义，幼儿园时不太和别的小孩子玩儿，就爱追着大人。这也不能稍微敏感点儿就都算有病吧？
He certainly has a lot of one, but lacks the other. He is still young, there's plent of time to learn.
Children's version of the Bible, one that fits his reading level.
Founding father's' biography, their writings: Ben Franklin, Thomas Paine, etc.
The Revolutionary War, the French and Indian War, what led up to them, and aftermath.
The Constitution and the Federalist Papers.
Recite all the famous speeches. Recite all the verses of the National anthem. Give a toast.
Ancient Greece, all the gods, philosophers. Ancient Rome, Cicero, Cato.
So much to learn...
Less STEM, more liberal arts topics.
Ask him often: How do you value yourself? When you compete, what value do you bring to the game and the other players. Why are they in the game? When you lose, what is your worth in your own eyes?
His sense of the "self" is the issue. He needs to develop his self-worth that is independent of others.
Teach him about boundaries, where he starts, where he ends, and where others start and end.