abc/american has different culture than Chinese gorwn up in China. They don't have the sense about if you pay A they have to pay A in return. Like he said, he just thought that you are taking turns. Also, they don't think man has to pay for the girl.
When I dated my husband (American), we were just roughly AA. Sometime I treat him, sometime he treat me. We were both grad students. I'm northern Chinese and I wouldn't mind about the difference between 60/2 and 20 in your case. A lot of my Northern Chinese friends laugh at certain groups of Southern Chinese who have to do exact half/half and pay 100 get 100 in return type of mentality.I see it as a culture difference, no strong opinion about which way is better.
I've married my husband for 8+ years now with two school age kids. We put both income together and share all expenditures in marriage, and he makes 2-3 times of how much I make. We don't do any AA in marriage however during date we did rough AA. He does have a hard time to understand why Chinese expects similar return when they offer something, coz for him he just gives away to others with no expectation on receiving a return and has to be of similar $ value.
The thing is, I dated other ABCs (older than me) before, they insist on paying the whole dinner.
This HK guy is not ABC, he came here around 12.
The difference between dinner and movie ticket is $40, plus we normally just split dinner together, not sure why this time he suddenly think we are taking turns. Plus what if the turn is not fair ( your turn is much more than his turn), were your BF voluntarily asked to may the more expensive turn?
【 在 Dreamer (不要问我从哪里来) 的大作中提到: 】 abc/american has different culture than Chinese gorwn up in China. They don 't have the sense about if you pay A they have to pay A in return. Like he said, he just thought that you are taking turns. Also, they don't think man has to pay for the girl. When I dated my husband (American), we were just roughly AA. Sometime I treat him, sometime he treat me. We were both grad students. I'm northern : Chinese and I wouldn't mind about the difference between 60/2 and 20 in your case. A lot of my Northern Chinese friends laugh at certain groups of Southern Chinese who have to do exact half/half and pay 100 get 100 in return type of mentality.I see it as a culture difference, no strong opinion ...................
With my couple HK friends (one guy one lady), we didn't split we just took turns. It's hard to be exact fair when taking turns. I don't mind and I don't know if they mind but we've been good friends since 2004. It's hard to say who treat whom more as the guy paid for his trip flying from HK to attend my wedding in two cities in the states and brought gifts. I took him to tour around for three days. Whenever I go to visit HK they treat my family.So probably they paid more...
Have a Chinese male friend since 2010 and he came to the US at 12. I treat him for the whole meal more times and sometime we split. He's now a friend of the family. He offers professional references for me during my background check. I believe I owe him treats....hahaha
I was asked by my husband to treat him for "end of semester dinner". He also asked to borrow my car sometime too before we were dating. Years later when he recalled our first date, he referred to that dinner. However I had always thought our first date is the dinner that took place months after his "first date" and it was when he treated me and asked me to be his girlfriend. Even after we established the relationship, we still just took turns and made voluntary payments until marriage. We've also been on long distance for months. He pays for his tickets to fly across the states to visit me and I pay to tour him around and dine out. When I fly over to his city I pay for my tickets my hotel room and he pays for tours and meals... The difference would be much bigger than $40 and hard to tell who actually paid more but we both don't really think much about that part... It looks roughly fair? right...
Since we got married, we just put both money together whoever needs it pays from the joint account. We file tax jointly as well. I wire 3K-7K to my parents and our family goes to visit his parents in other states and my parents in China every year.
Sometime people who pays exact AA cares more about their $ than people who runs really lose on the record. My husband cannot understand why Chinese " keeps an record" since he doesn't. Not necessarily the guy you are dating is stingy, it can also be possible that he may just genuinely doesn't care that much. Only you can find out which case it is...
【 在 Dreamer (不要问我从哪里来) 的大作中提到: 】 Thanks for your reply! Appreciated! The thing is, I dated other ABCs (older than me) before, they insist on paying the whole dinner. This HK guy is not ABC, he came here around 12. The difference between dinner and movie ticket is $40, plus we normally just split dinner together, not sure why this time he suddenly think we are taking turns. Plus what if the turn is not fair ( your turn is much more than his turn), were your BF voluntarily asked to may the more expensive turn? don ...................
然后就是严格遵守，他有点大男子主意，比较死板，或许这个原因我们分了。
为什么大陆男比港灿强？因为港灿连个祖国都没有，殖民地奴才能有什么好的
你这种年龄、长相、学历、性格，建议你去找同事朋友给介绍些白人接触一下，很多白人其实跟华人家庭观价值观类似，结婚后会好好挣钱养家带孩子也会帮老人养老，白人里直男癌基本非常少见，他们普遍欣赏独立、有能力的女人（这很适合你的需要），而32的年龄对同龄的白人来说是不会嫌弃你的，普通的白男（非白男里的翘楚）对于同龄的女人都不介意（白男翘楚比如富豪当然要找年轻漂亮老婆），不像国男，不管自己几岁也不管自己是否矮矬丑穷，看到26岁以上的女人就像看到瘟疫一样，你可以主要接触身高175以下的白男，对白人来说这种身高就像国男160身高一样，基本就是残次品，但除了身高之外，可能那些白人的人品性格都不错，如果碰到信教的，可能更传统，是结婚成家的好对象，特别是你有身份，根本没有贪图对方身份这种问题，更可以大方接触，至于其它亚洲人，日韩是绝对的直男癌不适合你，老印肯定不会有人考虑，东南亚人脑子太笨，欧洲人也不怎么样（好的也轮不到你），台巴港灿奴才不能要，也就剩下本地白人可以考虑了，特别是midwest出身的白人男，其实很淳朴，劝你尽早放弃找华人
的念头，他们不适合你的性格
孩以后我part time或者stay home照顾孩子。
lz多接触别人，总会有人是真正欣赏你喜欢你又不斤斤计较的。
中国可能因为文革和早期的妇女运动宣传，女性被认为是社会生产力的一部分。男性很少会有把女性当财产或者附庸的想法。
但是这两个地方可以说是女性地位最低的。表面上所谓支持女权，骨子里其实是非常轻视女性。香
港更是因为资本化较早，本土香港人的势力和小心眼让人侧目。台湾更不用说了，蜜汁自信的民主化和从小的反中教育。
和这两个地方的人是没有朋友可当的。lz竟然能去date，也是心大。
香港人口构成也是很复杂的，有些海外关系非常多，从小就很西化，汉字都不怎么认全，对女性认知都是很西化的；有些母亲或父亲那边也是大陆过去的，对大陆很有感情。
台湾就更不用说了，台湾的“外省人”后代在湾区都直接跟我说支持中国统一，整天往中国人聚会蹭。
东亚男性群体约个长腿大胸 and/or 高学历熟知亚州/中国文化会亚洲/中国语言的白牛不要太容易。耶鲁的、卡内基梅隆的怎么样，法裔美国妞，瑞士裔美国妞怎么样。
国女说到底就是缺乏竞争力，也只能date date挑剩下的食物链底层了。
都不敢承认自己热爱东方文化，就害怕被贴上yellow fever的标签。
你这种专挑有yellow fever的白妞下手，那也是比较没自尊的亚洲女人对白男的选择，有啥好说的。
said, he just thought that you are taking turns. Also, they don't think man has to pay for the girl.
When I dated my husband (American), we were just roughly AA. Sometime I
treat him, sometime he treat me. We were both grad students. I'm northern
Chinese and I wouldn't mind about the difference between 60/2 and 20 in your case. A lot of my Northern Chinese friends laugh at certain groups of
Southern Chinese who have to do exact half/half and pay 100 get 100 in
return type of mentality.I see it as a culture difference, no strong opinion about which way is better.
I've married my husband for 8+ years now with two school age kids. We put
both income together and share all expenditures in marriage, and he makes 2-3 times of how much I make. We don't do any AA in marriage however during
date we did rough AA. He does have a hard time to understand why Chinese
expects similar return when they offer something, coz for him he just gives away to others with no expectation on receiving a return and has to be of
similar $ value.
Take easy on culture difference.
我从不上啥破交友网站。也就是不走运在工作、生活中被我碰到。怎么躲都有漏网躲不过的。
人家白牛就是积极主动。博士跑到办公室里解开两衣服扣子约午饭的都有。至于故意漏大半个奶子给你看蹭你的就不算事。
作为果妞，我奉劝的一句就是吃自己的狗屎。想想对方究竟有什么好。想着自己约的是食物链底层的自己心情也好不到哪去。
积极主动一点。不是说要上床。国男特别是ABC还在date国女完全是因为传统文化需要
。要去娶鬼魅还不是分分钟的事情。
男。
白男找个磕巴国女，教对方英语是情趣。白女找个磕巴国男，是教傻子。
我见过的非母语的国男配白女，是中部一国男医生找了医院淳朴白护士，还是逃不过郎财女貌。
The thing is, I dated other ABCs (older than me) before, they insist on
paying the whole dinner.
This HK guy is not ABC, he came here around 12.
The difference between dinner and movie ticket is $40, plus we normally just split dinner together, not sure why this time he suddenly think we are
taking turns. Plus what if the turn is not fair ( your turn is much more
than his turn), were your BF voluntarily asked to may the more expensive
turn?
你那主动给你看胸部的白妞估计才是对你有所图，希望早点毕业什么的，这才叫做鸡，你也就是个嫖客罢了。
假如国男那么容易娶白妞，中国媒体又时不时报道哪个普通的小伙又娶白妞了好像很荣耀似的，那么爱面子的国男还会找国妞么？明显还是泡不到白妞才来找国妞的。我们国妞愿意优先选你们已经很不错了，不要在这里唧唧歪歪了。
美国女性第二语言高中是必修。母语是法文、德文的学个中文、日文有什么奇怪的。特别是教育好的。说起自恨也就你们自恨。
去年我遇到那位要当我小三的中文（普通话和粤语）讲得比我还好，她直接用的词就是：二奶。中国文化的理解一点都不差。
自己loser找地方躲去，别出来把钟国人都戴表了loser。
我和老婆说起这个帖子。她才想起来当年请她吃饭的大把。我是第一个/唯一一个不请
她吃饭，觉得我很特别。
她要跟老外赶紧的。升官发财死老婆。
没找白牛还不是对果妞有期待。现在看来，还是找白牛省心。顺便捞个欧洲公民也不错。
乎女生真正付账的。 态度最重要。 如果请客了几次了，偶尔让女生买下单可以接受， 一直 AA 然后让女生买单很难理解。
计小留你们期待吗。
找白牛马工也只能找个高中烂大学挣不到几个钱的临时工白妞，当人一辈子饭票换绿卡。
把自己看得那么low难怪约的都是食物链底层的。
就不会YY一下找个老公带你装逼带你飞的。
turns. It's hard to be exact fair when taking turns. I don't mind and I don't know if they mind but we've been good friends since 2004. It's hard to say who treat whom more as the guy paid for his trip flying from HK to attend
my wedding in two cities in the states and brought gifts. I took him to tour around for three days. Whenever I go to visit HK they treat my family.So
probably they paid more...
Have a Chinese male friend since 2010 and he came to the US at 12. I treat
him for the whole meal more times and sometime we split. He's now a friend
of the family. He offers professional references for me during my background check. I believe I owe him treats....hahaha
I was asked by my husband to treat him for "end of semester dinner". He also asked to borrow my car sometime too before we were dating. Years later when he recalled our first date, he referred to that dinner. However I had
always thought our first date is the dinner that took place months after his "first date" and it was when he treated me and asked me to be his
girlfriend. Even after we established the relationship, we still just took
turns and made voluntary payments until marriage. We've also been on long
distance for months. He pays for his tickets to fly across the states to
visit me and I pay to tour him around and dine out. When I fly over to his
city I pay for my tickets my hotel room and he pays for tours and meals...
The difference would be much bigger than $40 and hard to tell who actually
paid more but we both don't really think much about that part... It looks
roughly fair? right...
Since we got married, we just put both money together whoever needs it pays from the joint account. We file tax jointly as well. I wire 3K-7K to my
parents and our family goes to visit his parents in other states and my
parents in China every year.
Sometime people who pays exact AA cares more about their $ than people who
runs really lose on the record. My husband cannot understand why Chinese "
keeps an record" since he doesn't. Not necessarily the guy you are dating is stingy, it can also be possible that he may just genuinely doesn't care
that much. Only you can find out which case it is...
严格地说这位HK哥们是活雷锋。人家要是找个欧洲、澳洲公民也是双重国籍的，夫妻双方最终可能4重国籍。怎么也比娶个只有要么中国籍要么美国籍的果妞好。
一顿饭就把你这辈子卖到loser堆里去了。
下次他付饭钱你付电影票不扯平了？
也没啥关系的，结婚了，你自己很强大，也不需要化他的钱。当然恋爱时，追求这种感觉，但是你30多了，就不要再拖了，感觉好，喜欢他，就不要为谁请的问题困扰了。
确实loser是不能理解winner的世界的